i saw Scott. i flew across the country to Maryland to see Scott. we hadn't seen eachother in over two years! seeing him did exactly what i knew it would. it put my pathetic mind back in it's place. i've been in love with him since i was 15 years old. i think i keep dating guys so that i'll have someone to think about other than Scott. i don't know ( Read more... )

i got interegated at work today. because Kyle & i work together, & he stole from our store, & i'm his girlfriend...i have association. fuck. thanks Kyle. but since i am innocent, there was no need to worry. i didn't need to lie. i care about Kyle, but i can not see or speak to him for a very long time. he has issues that i don't need to deal with. ( Read more... )

Kyle & i are over. i am so tired of fucked up relationships. i mean that in all aspects too. boyfriends, friendships in general, my mom. i just want to be happy. im not. ive spoken to Megan, Lydia & Gabi about everything going on in my life right now. i'm just too trusting. i care about people too easily. i am a good person. i deserve good people ( Read more... )

IM SO FUCKING CONFUSED ( Read more... )

im confused. my best friends are all in amazing relationships & i feel like Nemo...lost & trying to find a way home. Kyle is great, but i dont know if im ready for another relationship. i want to be. but it just takes so much of my energy. Peter screwed me over pretty bad. but i needed that because it was a huge lesson learned. Kyle is very ( Read more... )

 no longer dying from sickness ( Read more... )

I GOT A TWO MONTH OLD KITTEN ( Read more... )

is my mother.

whom i no longer speak to.

as she is erasing me from her life.

why does she think so low of me?

im not a bad person.

but im not exactly how she wants me to be.

im a hideous person because of it.

in her eyes.

but not the world's.

so for anyone who doesn't know, this year has been an extremely rough, life altering year. the majority of people in my life dont even know everything that i have gone through, & i prefer to keep it that way because some things people just dont need to know about. since tonight is the start of the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana, I feel now is the ( Read more... )

im watching cable television(i dont have that in my apartmnet) at my dad & brothers' apartment in Orange County, CA! my little bro starts his first day of high school tomorrow! im so excited for him! i went & saw his school today...it's not as big as Dreyfoos, but they have sports! HA! i saw the varsity football team finishing practice...OMG those ( Read more... )