[ONE-SHOT] My Frozen Heart
Title : My Frozen Heart [ONE-SHOT]
Author : iluvwonjaemin
Pairing : Hoya >< Dongwoo
Rating : PG-13
Genre : Angst, Romance
Warning : Character Death
“My legs…Dongwoo yah, I can’t feel my legs…” these words escaped from his trembled lips. Clear enough to be heard by the mentioned-guy.
“W-what?” the latter got up from his laying position swiftly with his eyes widened in shock; facing the younger’s frightened face.
“I can’t feel my legs,” those words, again, escaped from his -now- purplish lips; causing the older guy in such a panic state, as he brought his hand to the pair of legs which were laying there, unmoving. They were so hard, stiff, solid or whatever that made the older feel uneasy. Moreover, those legs were bent over the younger’s stomach (it’s like sleeping position in cold weather, you would bend your legs up, hugging your knees). His legs were frozen.
His heart cringed; he could feel a big lump in his throat. He managed to get rid of it but ended up choking on his own sob. This sight wasn’t supposed to happen in the first place if he wasn’t careless enough. Yes, it was his fault anyway.
“What’s wrong Dongwoo yah? Is it that bad? What happen to my legs? I…I can’t move them either,” the younger could manage to say words, although deep down his heart; he knew why his legs were like this.
“Hoya, I…no, you…don’t be panic okay. The other will be here in any moments,” Dongwoo forced a smile, purposely wanted Hoya to be calm, but Hoya wasn’t blind to see fear in his eyes.
Hoya just nodded at the statement, ignoring his throbbing heart or queasy feeling in his stomach. Unfortunately, Dongwoo failed to see the younger watered-eyes as he kept looking at the blue sky above. Their hope.
=이피니트=
Two hours had passed. Two bodies lied on the hard-cold-icy ground; face to face. Their two pairs of eyes were closed. Shallow breaths were audible. Their arms were encircling their cold bodies as their warmth filled in their chest.
Two eyes fluttered open, slowly, until they were fully open. He looked at the scene in front, to find a familiar, loving scene. He breathed out; making thin cloud blurred his vision. A small smile crept on his stiff lips.
“Dongwoo yah~” he whispered. The voice was barely audible; even the latter didn’t move an inch. Hoya smiled, “You sleepyhead…”
A familiar scene indeed.
Hoya moved his fingers to trace on Dongwoo’s face, from his wide forehead, his closed-eyes, his nose, his lips which was turned to be purplish as well as his and the last, his jawline. There was a slight move from the latter; by the time Hoya finished caressing the older’s face. This guy could still sleep peacefully in this kind of situation. That thought received a long sigh from the younger.
Hoya turned his head to look at the big hole above him, outside world. The sky was still blue with sunlight penetrated through it. Automatically, he looked at his wristwatch to see number 02.14PM there.
As he turned his body to the left, he felt something…worse than before. His heart raced even faster.
‘What now?’
He couldn’t turn his body. It felt like something halted his action. He dared to bring his hand onto his stomach, caressing it slowly.
Hard. Cold.
‘What is it?’
He moved his hand shakily, forcing to move it into its original place. He looked perplexed as he gripped Dongwoo’s jacket hard. His mind was blank, his eyes were unfocused, his lips trembled hard, his breath became uneven, and his -unfrozen- body was all shaking.
“Do-Dongwoo yah,” he spoke through his chattering teeth.
The sleepyhead wasn’t easy to wake up by just a mere whisper. Hoya tried to shake the older. But still, to no avail, the older just continued sleeping.
“Re-really, this gu-guy,” Hoya wouldn’t give up until he saw those eyes flew open.
“Dongwoo ya-yaah~” he tried to call and shake him for another trials, finally, those closed eyes started to open. The next second Hoya found a pair of eyes was staring straight at his.
“Yo-you pabo,” Hoya felt irritated, “I’ve tried ma-many times to wake you up.”
Dongwoo quickly got up and began caressing Hoya’s cold cheek.
“I’m sorry, baby. Oh my God, you’re so cold,” he blew some air to his gloves, rubbed them together and put them on Hoya’s pale cheeks, as if transferring warmth toward the younger.
“Wait, why are you trembling so hard??” Dongwoo widened his eyes to see his lover’s fragile state. He put off his jacket swiftly after seeing his lover’s condition. When he was about to put it on the younger, a hand prevented it.
“No ne-need to, Dong-Dongwoo…” Hoya refused, earning a frown from the latter.
“Why? Don’t you feel cold? I see you tremble hard,” but Dongwoo insisted; he put the jacket over Hoya’s body.
“Don’t you fee-feel cold too?” Hoya asked back. He could tell Dongwoo was slightly trembling after removing his jacket.
“Don’t worry, I’m a mount climber, the expert one too,” Dongwoo convinced the younger as he smiled. Yes, it’s true that Dongwoo is an expert in mount-climbing, but he lied that he didn’t feel cold. He was sure the coldness spread through his whole body once he opened the thick jacket.
“I thi-think, I don’t need it,” Hoya spoke; he could suppress his teeth from chattering so much now, even though the coldness was still the same, “ju-just take it back.”
Dongwoo sensed something was wrong. It’s rare seeing Hoya behaved like this. It was just strange. And yes, it’s surely strange, after his mind figured out what happened exactly.
“No way!” he almost screamed his lungs out as he yanked his thick jacket from Hoya’s body. His heart felt like stopping beating, just like when your worst nightmare came true and you couldn’t do anything about it.
“No…it can’t be,” he whispered, eyes still widened in fear. He kept on looking the view before his eyes; half of Hoya’s body was frozen, from his stomach to his legs. It was stiff, cold, and rigid.
Dongwoo couldn’t stop the tears which had pooled his face in no time. He hung his head low, feeling guilty, regret, angry, hate, annoy, all mixed up into one.
“Dong-Dongwoo yah, it’s o-okay,” Hoya struggled to reach for Dongwoo’s face, but it was too far to get. Dongwoo took Hoya’s hand and placed it to his wet cheek and his lips, kissing it softly.
“It’s-it’s not okay, Hoya! It’s definitely not okay you hear me!” Dongwoo released Hoya’s hand as he gripped his hair in anger. “I’m USELESS!! I can’t even protect you!!”
“Dongwoo yah-“
“How can I call myself as an expert??? Look! I just let someone freeze to death!!” Dongwoo let out his anger by screaming, his voice echoed through the icy walls and hard ground. But, without him noticing, Hoya was crying too.
“Wha-what will happen to me?” Hoya asked with low voice, somehow he’s afraid to hear the answer.
‘Will I die?’
Dongwoo started to regain his sense, he moved closer to Hoya’s body while wearing his jacket since he knew it was useless to put it on Hoya’s body now.
“You’ll be fi-fine, okay! Trust me,” He answered as he got up, walking towards the ice wall. Dongwoo was investigating the condition of the wall if it’s safe to be climbed.
“Yes, this wall is strong enough, hey WAIT-“ suddenly he remembered something. He moved back to his place and…
SHIT.
…cursed.
“What’s wrong, Dong-woo yah?” Hoya frowned. Dongwoo stared at his lover; his eyes were full of regrets.
“I forgot to bring my bag,” he murmured.
“What?” Hoya asked once again, since Dongwoo’s voice was inaudible.
“I FORGOT TO BRING MY F*CKING BAG!” he broke down onto his knees; seemed like his fate was playing around with him. He forgot to bring his bag, his life-saver. His partner in climbing. He never left his bag until this time. How could he survive without his bag??
“Dongwoo yah, come here,” Hoya ordered and Dongwoo abruptly got up. He let his body fall beside Hoya’s body.
“I’m sorry, Hoya. I’m sorry,” Dongwoo hugged Hoya’s cold body as he cried. He never knew that this day would actually come. “I shouldn’t bring you here.”
“Hey, it’s not your fault, okay,” Hoya calmed his boyfriend down. “It was my fa-fault for forcing you to bring me. I should have listened to you.”
Hoya wiped Dongwoo’s tears as he was crying too, “I should be the one wh-who feel sorry,” Hoya added.
“I’m sorry, Dongwoo yah.”
Dongwoo just shook his head. He couldn’t speak any words; he was trying not to let out a sob.
“Hey, do you rem-remember about our first ki-kiss?” Hoya asked, trying to enlighten the tense atmosphere. And it was replied by Dongwoo’s nods.
“I was sca-scared at that moment, I thought you wou-would eat me or something,” Hoya let a soft chuckle and now he could see Dongwoo’s smile.
“Yeah, you’re just -sob- such a -sob- scaredy cat,” Dongwoo who finally let out words, felt more at ease. Hoya smiled after hearing Dongwoo’s cute voice.
‘It’s been a long time to hear your voice while crying, Dongwoo.’
They kept chatting around for another seconds, minutes and it had been half an hour of talking here and there. Dongwoo laughed hard after remembering their funny moments together. Hoya laughed along, but his laugh died down after he felt something hot yet sticky liquid came out from his nose.
Dongwoo who saw it, stopped his laugh then grabbed Hoya’s head fast. He wiped that dark red liquid off Hoya’s nose.
“Is it blood?” Hoya asked, frightened. His hand reached for his nose to touch the liquid which was still left. He looked at the red liquid as it smeared his fingers. Yes, it was blood.
“What’s happening to me?”
Dongwoo looked frustrated, “Yes, it is blood, baby. But, don’t worry. You’ll be safe after they come here-“
“Will they ever come?” Hoya asked again, this time, Dongwoo felt like losing his hope. ‘He’s right. Will they be able to come to find us?’
But, it’s not the right time to think pessimistic. He had to have faith that they’ll survive.
“Baby, listen. We’ll be okay. I know it. We can go out of here. Believe me,” Dongwoo slowly caressed Hoya’s cheeks, even there were frostbites already. They had been trapped here for 3 hours and there was no sign from his fellows to arrive. Dongwoo was nervous to death. ‘Will we make it?’
“Dongwoo yah~” Hoya’s desperate voice broke Dongwoo’s bewildered-mind.
“Yes baby,” he answered.
“What is it like to die in this condition?”
This question. The question he avoided to escape from those lips. The question he hated the most. The question he could never tell the answer, especially to his special one.
He didn’t dare to look at Hoya in the eyes. But, Hoya seemed to be impatient; he shook Dongwoo by his shoulder and murmured ‘tell me’.
“It’s…” Dongwoo couldn’t continue. It was always like this. He just couldn’t believe that he was experiencing the theory he received years ago from his tutor.
“Just tell me,” Hoya urged, he kept on shaking Dongwoo’s shoulder as hard as he could, though it ended up being a soft shock.
“Hoya, please, you won’t be able to hear this, okay. So just stop asking,” Dongwoo sternly answered. But, it made Hoya become furious.
“Why?? I’m gonna die anyway. There’s no need to hide it from me-“
“LEE HOWON!!” Dongwoo cut Hoya’s words; his hand was floating in the air as if ready to hit the younger. Hoya, who saw this sight, closed his eyes reflexively, waiting for the sting on his cheek to come. But, it never came. Dongwoo wouldn’t be able to do such a thing. He looked at Hoya’s figure that was currently blocking his face from getting hit.
This sight hurt him. It hurt a lot that Dongwoo couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed Hoya’s hands aside and pulled his face closer to Hoya’s, targeting the purple lips. In the next second, Hoya could feel a cold lips touched his own.
“I’m sorry Hoya. I’m sorry baby,” Dongwoo breathed after breaking up the kiss.
“I’m sorry too, Dongwoo yah,” Hoya answered back. He was crying now. “I’m sorry. I was just angry to myself.”
“Shh…it’s me who’s sorry baby. I never meant to shout or try to hit you like that. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry,” Dongwoo could feel how Hoya’s feeling right now. He must have feel hopeless, it’s like death was just the matter of time. As the time passed, the death would go closer to him.
Dongwoo wrapped his arms around, so did Hoya. They were hugging each other, trying to wash away the guiltiness or regret they’d felt. And soon, they’re calm down.
“But Dongwoo yah,” Hoya opened a conversation after a long silence occurred.
“Hmm?” Dongwoo answered, still caressing Hoya’s cheek carefully since it was full of frostbites now.
“I still want to know about it,” Hoya said, it was referred to the last question which made Dongwoo go furious in the previous moment. Maybe for other people, it was an insane question which we never wanted to know about, but, if we’re in such a condition, this question seemed right.
Dongwoo was quiet for a moment before he took a deep breath and spoke, “Hoya, are you sure you want to hear this?”
“Yes,” Hoya answered simply. He’d been really curious yet scared to hear the fact.
Dongwoo, once again, took a deep breath, “Okay. If it is what you want.”
He knew there’s no way back; he had to do this.
“First, you would…..”
=인피니트=
He saw those eyes closed perfectly as he was laying down on his comfortable bed. He traced his finger through the latter’s face, it’s still the same, it’s still perfect as always.
“You’re my everything,” he spoke. But, he was send backwards as those eyes fluttered open and sweet words escaped with it, “Morning baby.”
“Omo! You scared me!” He stroked his pounding chest to calm down.
“Hahahaha, you were surprised right?” The latter laughed hard seeing this sight.
“It’s not funny!”
“Aigoo, Ho-aegy is mad, hm?” the older brought his face closer to his lover. But, his stubborn lover just looked away.
“By the way, don’t you have an appointment today, Dongwoo yah?” Hoya, who was pretending to be mad earlier, reminded his forgetful lover about his work
“Oh! You’re right! What time is it?” Dongwoo asked him in panic.
“It’s 08.00AM,” Hoya answered.
“Oh, I still have a lot of time,” Dongwoo popped himself on the bed, sighing in relief.
“Can I come along?” Hoya carefully asked the mount climber as he moved closer to the older guy.
“No.”
Hoya pouted, “Wae??”
“It’s dangerous.”
Hoya pouted again, “Just this time. Please~” He put the best aegyo on his face, making it even harder for Dongwoo to resist.
“Aish, I can’t never beat that aegyo of yours, baby,” in a split second, they were hungrily kissing each other.
=인피니트=
“Waaaa~ it’s nice!” Hoya screamed on top of his lungs. He spread his arms out, feeling the cool breeze of the wind. It was such a nice view in front of him, a white plain filled with snow here and there.
“Daebak!” he screamed once again as he ran along the plain.
“Baby, please be careful! Don’t go too far!” Dongwoo shouted from the car as he packed his things to his bag.
But, Dongwoo regretted it right away because suddenly there was a loud voice screeched the air, “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH~”
Dongwoo turned around quickly, “Hoya!”
He ran to the source of Hoya’s voice and soon found it. It was really Hoya; he was stuck in the snowy ground, his half body was planted to the ground as if the ground sucked his body.
“Help me~” Hoya was in verge of crying.
“Hang on there, baby. I’ll come…” Dongwoo was slowly walking towards his lover carefully. As he took his step towards the soft snow below him; he knew that it wasn’t just any ordinary snowy ground.
“Dongwoo-yah, it’s cold,” Hoya whimpered.
“Hang on, I’m almost there, just don’t move, okay,” Dongwoo carefully walked; he calculated the step he took as he stretched his arms toward his lover.
“Come on, take my hand!” Dongwoo tried hard to reach Hoya’s hand, but it’s still too far. So he moved again to close the distance between them.
It was close enough for them to grip on each other hand when suddenly the ground below them shook hard.
“Dongwoo yah!” Hoya screamed, still holding Dongwoo’s hand.
The ground shook for moment when suddenly it collapsed, bringing the couple go down with it. They screamed in unison, still not letting go each other hands until the landed in a hard ground with a loud thud.
Dongwoo quickly covered Hoya, who was laying beside him, from the falling snow above. It needed a few times before the situation subsided.
“Hoya, are you okay?” Dongwoo asked as he got up from Hoya’s body. Hoya just nodded his head as he sat up while brushing the soft snow off his body.
“Where are we, Dongwoo yah?” his voice was trembling in fear.
“I think we got trapped in underground, it seems like a gap or something. The ground makes a huge hole before but it had been covered with the snow, that’s what just happened to you earlier,” Dongwoo explained.
Hoya only sat there while hugging his knees and mumbled, “I’m sorry…I’m sorry.”
Dongwoo moved to Hoya’s side and stroked his back softly, “It’s not your fault, baby.”
Hoya buried his head in his hands, feeling bad, while Dongwoo kept on calming his lover down.
“The others might find us here, so don’t worry. We will just wait for them, okay,” Dongwoo gave his best smile and Hoya smiled back.
“I’m cold,” Hoya said.
“Come here,” Dongwoo asked the younger to come over and softly put his arms onto Hoya’s body.
‘I use to be in this kind of situation, so it’s okay for me…for now. But, what about Hoya? He was never in such a situation before. I have to keep him warm then.’
Soon, they were in laying position as Dongwoo kept humming a lullaby. Their eyelids felt heavy as the time went by. For another minutes, they were drifted into dreamland.
=인피니트=
Hoya kept his eyes open as he clutched the jacket at the part where his heart was. He was afraid. He was scared. He was in fear. He was anxious that his heart would stop any moment. Dongwoo was standing near the wall; he kept on throwing things outside the hole, hoping there would be someone who could give a hand.
“Anybody there? Hello!!” Dongwoo shouted for the nth time already, but there was no response.
DAMN.
Dongwoo wasn’t a quitter. He would try as hard as he could until he got what he wanted.
On the other hand, Hoya was still occupied by his own thought. The grip on his jacket grew tighter as he felt a strange feeling inside his body. He suddenly remembered about what Dongwoo had said earlier.
‘First, you would be having nosebleed. It’s because of the low temperature we’re in.’
He had gone this stage. But, this strange feeling was unfamiliar for him. What is it?
‘Second, you will suffocate to get oxygen; any single air you inhale won’t make you relief, that’s because your lungs have lost its function slowly.’
Now he knew it. He’s in the stage two. He couldn’t breathe; it was like there was no oxygen around. He tried hard to breathe in some air, but it’s useless. He let out chokes many times as he was trying to breathe properly. He also held his neck hard, like giving a way for the air to enter his dying lungs. His lungs started to freeze as well.
Dongwoo who heard choking sounds, abruptly walked towards the younger to check his condition.
“Oh my God!” he shouted, “Baby, look at me…God.”
Hoya couldn’t hear Dongwoo’s words; he still struggled to force some oxygen down to his lungs.
“Hey, baby…” Dongwoo lifted Hoya’s head to look at his direction. Hoya looked back, his mouth opened to say something but it failed. Only choking sounds were heard.
“Shh…” Dongwoo shushed him for not wasting Hoya’s energy to even talking. He lost any ideas how to keep Hoya alive.
‘What do I do? I’ve never gone in this situation before.’
Hoya still choked on his own while gripping Dongwoo’s jacket tightly. Dongwoo couldn’t do anything except to caress Hoya’s head. Hoya gave a help-me-look to Dongwoo but he just kept stroking Hoya’s head or wiped away Hoya’s tears. It was a painful sight for Dongwoo to witness.
‘Please, don’t make him suffer for too long.’
Hoya closed his eyes tightly after receiving a great pain in his heart. He knew it. It’s the last stage. The most painful stage.
‘Third, you would feel you heart is about to burst. It will be hurt like hell. You’ll be suffering until death comes to get you.’
Hoya shallow breaths were heard as he let out a soft yet painful groan,”Ugghhh…”
Dongwoo, who couldn’t take it anymore, quickly got up and walked away, leaving his lover struggled to keep living. He covered his ears as he cried his heart out, didn’t want to hear such a hurtful voice.
Hoya only saw Dongwoo’s back which slowly went in such a distant. It was his first time to see Dongwoo’s back facing him like he’s gonna leave him alone.
‘Dongwoo yah~’
But, he could still see Dongwoo’s shoulder shook hard through his blurred vision, or Dongwoo’s cries between the sound of his heart beats which was getting slower and slower.
‘No, don’t let me leave him!’
Hoya could see his vision going blurred; everything was fading in and out. He was hyperventilating hard as his lungs worked for its last. He tried to muffle his painful voice everytime he felt thousands of needles pricked through his heart.
It was so fast that he could register Dongwoo’s figure approached him, together with many voices rang through his surroundings. Those voices kept on calling his name over and over again, “Hoya!! Hoya!”
He only realized what happened after Dongwoo’s face was only inches apart from his and said, “They’re here, baby~”
But, the next thing he heard was Dongwoo’s loud scream before his sight blackened. Hoya knew that his system was totally shut down.
=인피니트=
Hoya opened his heavy eyes as he looked at his surrounding, ice walls and ground. He sighed. Dongwoo was sleeping peacefully beside him. Hoya smiled unconsciously.
When he was about to get up, a strange feeling came. He looked at his legs and tried to move it but…
“My legs…Dongwoo yah, I can’t feel my legs…”
THE END
A/N : OMO! I killed Ho-aegi >.< Mianhae Hoya~
I was so into angst nowadays, too much watching dramas I think -..-
Gimme your thought about it :D
Comments are highly appreciated <3