I'll Love You Forever Part 1

[iluvmaddentwins]

Title: I'll Love You Forever (i know the title sux) Part 1

Rating: Uh...PG-13

Summery: Joel is the new kid at school and has no friends. Until he meets Benji, a guy who Joel meets and they become friends. Then they both discover they're gay and take their "friend releationship" to a whole new level.

Fandom: Good Charlotte

Pairing: The twincest

Comments

Hahaha

[xneonmoonx]

I loved it!^_^ Keep 'em comin'!

Huh?

[fucking_lovatos]

Okay, I really don't want to sound like a bitch here, but I have a few suggestions for you.

It's a good story, it really is, but since the paragraphs are so long it's kinda hard to follow along sometimes. Maybe make them smaller so it's easier to read.

And when you do quotations you should put them before and after what they say. Like if you were to write, Then Joel said, "Dude, are those my socks?" You should show where he stops speaking.

You also should probably re-read it a few times before posting so you can catch punctuation errors, like not putting in question marks. Or get a beta to do that for you:)

One more thing you might find helpful is that when you change from having Joel or Matt speak start a new paragraph. Like in this part:

"No, said Joel. "Joel it's right there where my hand is, said Benji, pointing. "I don't see it, said Joel. "Look harder, said Benji. "Okay, said Joel, looking harder, not seeing Benji's smirk. "See it now, said Benji, trying not to giggle. "No, said Joel. "Well it's right here, said Benji,

thanks!

[iluvmaddentwins]

hey guys! Thanks so much for all the lovely comments. Also, Part 2 is almost done. Sorry for the wait. Ugh been busy with loads of stuff. Anyway, Thanks again.

Mucho thankies

~iluvmaddentwins~

[xfellx]

not to be rude or anything but, do I know you? hehe I just noticed you added me and was wondering

[_eyesthatstare]

Love it :)