I feel so horrible.
So I've been going through a lot recently. A lot of stress with a helpful dose of depression. (Yes, this will be actually about dance.)
Normally, it doesn't show in my ballet classes because I'm so into doing everything and thinking about my shoulders, my back, my stomach, my legs that I just forget everything that's bothering me, but recently, I can't stop thinking about it.
A couple weeks ago, I was having a horrible day. I couldn't do anything, my pointe shoes were feeling completely messed up, and I had a horrible head ache. Half way through my variation, I just fell to the floor, sobbing.
Everybody was really sympathetic that time.
Then yesterday, my ankle started acting up. I landed on it a week or so ago and I've been icing it and wrapping it, but it still hurts so much. Anyhow, we were putting on our pointe shoes and doing pique turns and I was just doing them on demi on my foot that hurt and my ballet teacher asked me what was wrong and said I had to just do it en pointe anyhow. I've never felt anything so painful in my life.
I burst into tears when I got to the other side of the floor. The rest of the class I was sniffling, but I was beginning to get myself together and then I began thinking about everything else. Finally, when it was my turn to do my variation, I turned around and got ready and my ballet teacher said to get out of the room and how she couldn't stand to see me cry.
So I spent the next 45 minutes sobbing in the bathroom and I got even more depressed than I've been for a long time.
Anyhow, I have no clue what I'm supposed to do today. I was thinking of getting my ballet teacher a card, apologizing. I've got this huge dress rehearsal and my ankle still hurts and we've got a performance this Saturday and argh.
Thank you for reading this all, if you did. Please give me any suggestions. I just have no clue what to do.
Cross posted to a few other dance communities.