(no subject)
LJ stalking horror - a report by im_method.
prodigal_slayer is stalking im_method
prodigal_slayer’s REAL name :
Arthur Bonham
prodigal_slayer’s REAL DOB :
02nd July 1977
Height :155 cm
Weight : 67.3 kg
prodigal_slayer has dreamt about you :
30 times
prodigal_slayer became interested in you :
27th August 2004
prodigal_slayer’s latest dream about you
im_method is awoken by the heavy breathing of prodigal_slayer who is sitting on your bed stroking a fat ginger cat. Your stalker winks at you and pat’s you on the groin whilst you attempt to cower in horror beneath your bed linen.
This is how prodigal_slayer describes your relationship behind your back
‘im_method is my best friend in the whole world. When it dies I’m thinking of stuffing her and placing her beside my television.’
prodigal_slayer’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
prodigal_slayer seems to get a thrill from continually stealing your toothbrushes. It is rumoured that prodigal_slayer uses them to scratch their ass.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
prodigal_slayer had their nipples pierced to show you the true depths of their neverending love for you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
God want’s us to be together. He told me last night. He said that if you refute my love than I have the right to scald you with piping hot tap water.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
21 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Ah fuck it not again. Look prodigal_slayer you little bastard, get your fucking head out of my bin or else I’m phoning the cops. Right that’s fucking it! Hello police? Yes it’s prodigal_slayer again. The little shit-stirrer."
prodigal_slayer’s Police File
prodigal_slayer poses no real threat to society at large, unless of course your name is im_method. In that case, you are royally fucked.
Testimonies about prodigal_slayer
destructo_gal - A daring kleptomaniac
‘I always suspected prodigal_slayer was a little weird, but never THIS weird.’
wicked_designs - Worn out Musician
‘Jesus fuck! You’ve got to be joking?!??! prodigal_slayer? A pervert? It’s quite funny now I think about it. What an idiot!’
_willow_magic - Eats everything.
‘Surprise Surprise, prodigal_slayer’s a dirty fucker? Tell me something different.’