Fic: Epistrophe sta asteria (14/14)
The last part! Thanks for reading, as well as to the awesome people behind this!
ETA: Since it was pointed out to me that I never said, the title of this fic is a transliteration of "return to the stars" in Greek, according to the wonder that is Google Translate. Back to your enjoyment now that I've pointed that out!
Back to part 13 / Back to Masterpost
Lena sighed, sitting at Jim’s desk, sure the paperwork Starfleet had pushed her way was secretly designed to kill her so they wouldn’t have to work out what to do with a cadet who had disappeared just before her own graduation.
If she hadn’t disappeared, she would be filling out her acceptance for the position of Chief Medical Officer on the Enterprise. She’d known that Jim had wanted her for the position, and even though she’d thought it was crazy she was going to say yes, if only to see that smile of his that made everything seem better.
But she had vanished and Starfleet had considered her absent without leave and then presumed her to be dead. So instead of that paperwork she was filling out forms to reinstate her as a cadet.
She’d known that they would. Somewhere deep down, she’d known all along that there was no way she could just hop right on the Enterprise. Things had changed in the three years she’d been gone, and she had to learn more and refresh what she’d already learned because of the years she’d been out of practice. Still, she had been upset when she’d learned that she would have to be away from Jim at least another year.
She sighed. If she worked hard enough, she could probably get all the courses and refreshers Starfleet wanted her to take care of done and over with in a year’s time. It would be difficult, but it would be worth it to be with Jim again as quickly as possible.
If he even still wanted her then. It was entirely possible he wouldn’t. She’d seen countless attempts at long-distance relationships fall apart, and who was to say that theirs would be an exception? Would they even try, or would he say he would rather hurt her now than later?
Lena shook her head. There was no point in worrying about it now.
Her movement caught Jim’s attention from where he was dozing on the bed. “What’s wrong?” Jim asked.
“From the list of courses I need now that I’m back, it’ll be at least a year before I can be stationed anywhere,” she replied. “I’d thought I was finally done with school.” She smiled, trying to make a joke out of it, trying her best to make him smile.
He grinned. “You’re a doctor. Thought you folks never stopped learning.”
It was true. The life of a doctor was full of new discoveries, and new discoveries meant new refreshers every now and then. “Still. A whole year.” A whole year away from you, she thought to herself.
“Hey.” She heard the rustle of the sheets as he stood, and then the soft padding noise of his footsteps as he walked over and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “It’s not so bad.”
“It’s a year, Jim. Who knows what could happen in the course of a year?”
“Why are you always so damned determined to see the cup as half empty, Bones?” he asked.
“I don’t see what that has to do with--”
“It has everything to do with this. Stop being so damned pessimistic. It’ll be all right. We’ll work something out.”
“But what if something happens?” she finally asked hesitantly. “What if one of us decides that we don’t want this anymore?”
“If you decide you don’t want to wait for me, of course I’ll let you go,” Jim said softly. “It’ll hurt like hell, but I’ll do it.”
“And if you decide that? What then, Jim?”
He chuckled wryly. “That won’t happen.”
“You can’t know that!” she exclaimed. “You can’t possibly know that you’ll feel just like you do now in a year’s time!”
“No, I can’t,” he admitted. “But I can tell you that I felt this way all three years you were gone. All three damn years I thought you were dead. Even that couldn’t change the fact that I love you. I doubt a year spent apart, knowing you’re alive, would be that much different.”
“I--” Lena stopped, sighing again. “I’ll miss you,” she finally muttered.
“And I’ll miss you too,” he replied. “But there are all kinds of ways to keep in contact. At least in this year we’ll be able to hear from each other somewhat regularly. I won’t be spending it thinking you’re dead, and you won’t be spending it remembering absolutely nothing about me.”
“There is that,” she agreed, stretching before finally standing up as he took a step back to let her. Turning, she nuzzled her way into his arms, enjoying the solid feel of him gently pressed against her. “But I’ll miss this.”
“I will too,” he sighed. “But that’s enough of that. Come to bed; the paperwork can wait until the morning. You’re not going to make yourself feel any better by staying up until two in the morning to finish it now.”
Lena smiled. “You’ll be sleeping too, right?”
“Of course I will,” he answered. “I sleep better when you’re there.”
“Are you just being cute or do you really mean it?” Lena asked, grinning.
“Who says it can’t be both?” he asked, tugging her down onto the mattress as he fell onto it.
She grinned, cuddling into him. “I say it can’t be both.”
“Why are you always so picky about this kind of thing?” he demanded, playfully rubbing his nose along her jaw.
Lena sighed happily, relaxing at the caress. “Because it’s who I am.”
“Of course it is. Remind me why I put up with it again?” Jim asked, grinning.
Lena’s reply was instant. “Because you love me,” she smirked.
Jim laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
Lena smiled as she cuddled into him, resting her head on his chest and enjoying listening to his solid, steady heartbeat. “Who knows,” she grinned. “I might even love you too.”
“Really, now?” Jim asked, smiling. “Because that would only be the best thing I’ve ever heard today.”
“Only today?”
“Well, you said it yesterday, too. And the day before that. And the day before that...”
Before Jim could say anything else, Lena was asleep with a smile on her face.
~*~
It was Jim’s last day on Earth before shipping out again, and Jim knew it as well as Bones did. He sighed, packing the last of his things away as she came up behind him, hugging him close.
“Jim,” she murmured into his back. “Make love to me before you leave? Please?”
Helpless to do anything but comply, Jim turned in her arms, kissing her hard. She moaned, melting into him as he tangled their tongues together. For the first time since she’d woken up in Sickbay, he slid his hands under her shirt, caressing bare skin as she pressed closer, pressing heated kisses into his jaw and neck.
“Bed,” Jim managed. Lena just looked at him, a single eyebrow raised. “I can’t get there with you tangled around me,” he clarified with a grin.
She blushed, stepping away just enough to let him remove her shirt before gently pressing her back into the mattress. She arched, her hands finding his and instantly sliding them up to her breasts, pressing up into his touch with a soft moan. “Please,” she whispered.
He shifted, lowering himself down on top of her, and licked over the shell of her ear. “I love you,” he whispered as she shivered.
Then his hands were sliding under her back, deftly unhooking her bra and slipping the straps off of her shoulders. “I love you too,” she breathed, gasping as his thumbs teased around her hardening nipples. “Please, please don’t tease me. Not now.”
He couldn’t say no, not to her, not now. Quickly, he kissed down her neck and breast to take one of those nipples into his mouth, gently sucking and enjoying the sound of her moans and the feel of her fingers gripping his hair. Sliding his hands down to her waist, he traced his fingertips around the waist of her pants until they were at the front, deftly opening them and shoving them down.
He groaned as he gently cupped her through her underwear, feeling her wet heat through them. “You’re so ready for me already,” he murmured, gently rolling his palm as she whimpered and rocked her hips.
“Yes, yes, please just--ah!” she gasped as he quickly shoved her underwear down as well.
She was just as wet and tight around his fingers as he remembered, and he gently pressed them deeper as he kissed his way down her stomach, intent on tasting her. She cried out, tightening around his fingers as his lips found her clit and sucked it gently before licking from his fingers back up to it.
A few more strokes of his tongue and a curl of his fingers and she was coming, moaning his name as her hips jerked and twitched and she rippled around his fingers. “God, I love you,” he breathed, kissing his way back up her as she relaxed into the mattress.
Soon, though, her hands were moving again, slipping under his shirt before dipping to the front of his pants, cupping and rubbing where his cock was pressing demandingly against them. He groaned, sucking on her collarbone as his hips rocked helplessly into her grip. Finally, though, he tore away, fumbling at the zipper with trembling fingers until his pants were open and she freed his cock, lining it up and arching her hips so that he started to sink into her.
Groaning, he lowered his hands to her hips, lifting them as he pressed further into her before bottoming out. He paused a moment, eyes closed, panting against her shoulder as he fought not to come then and there. When he thought he had some semblance of control over himself he looked up, meeting her eyes before kissing her hard as he started to move.
It was far from the slow, sweet coupling he’d imagined when he’d let himself think of how it would be. It was fast and hard and desperate as their lips met again and again, her legs wrapping around him and tugging him closer. It couldn’t have been any more perfect, though, especially when he thrust into her and she cried out, head tossing back in pleasure as her hips jerked up against his.
Knowing there was no way he could last much longer, he let his thumb trace over from her hip, circling on the mound of flesh above where he was pounding into her before circling down to her clit, pressing against it firmly. She shrieked, coming hard, arching her back and writhing beneath him as he groaned.
He lasted maybe a few more seconds before following her over the edge, moaning as his hips jerked and then stilled before he collapsed on top of her.
He heard the sharp exhale and instantly rolled off of her. “Sorry about that,” he breathed, unable to keep his distance for long before pulling her close.
“For what?” she demanded between soft pants. “From over here it was fucking perfect.”
“For falling on top of you,” he smiled, gently tracing her jaw.
She smiled in return, forgoing a verbal response in favor of kissing him softly. “I’ll miss you,” she murmured.
“I know,” he replied. “But I’ll be back and then there won’t be anything that’ll keep us apart.”
She smiled. She would certainly be working to make sure he was right about that, as she had let him know several times over. “Yeah.”
Finally, they rolled out of bed and dressed quickly, he to leave and she to see him off. All too quickly for Jim, they reached the point where she couldn’t follow him further. He pulled her into his arms one last time, whispering, “I love you” one last time before heading for the shuttle that would take him to the Enterprise.
It was time. He had to go back into space without her this time. Before long, though, she would be up there with him, and they’d both be where they belonged.
~*~
3 Years Later
Lena smiled as she set the last of her things down in her new quarters. “Finally.”
“Yeah,” Jim murmured in her ear, arms wrapping around her from behind. “Seriously, how much shit have you gathered these past few years?”
Turning in his arms, Lena nipped at his neck. “Careful, now. You don’t want to get on my bad side when I’m finally on your crew list, do you?”
“I guess not,” Jim conceded, holding her close. “I’ve missed you,” he admitted as he buried his face in her hair.
Lena stepped back just enough to look up at him. “I missed you too.” Leaning up, she kissed him softly.
As he kissed back, she sighed happily, tugging him toward her bed as his hands slipped under her shirt.
Everything was right again.
ETA: Since it was pointed out to me that I never said, the title of this fic is a transliteration of "return to the stars" in Greek, according to the wonder that is Google Translate. Back to your enjoyment now that I've pointed that out!
Back to part 13 / Back to Masterpost
Lena sighed, sitting at Jim’s desk, sure the paperwork Starfleet had pushed her way was secretly designed to kill her so they wouldn’t have to work out what to do with a cadet who had disappeared just before her own graduation.
If she hadn’t disappeared, she would be filling out her acceptance for the position of Chief Medical Officer on the Enterprise. She’d known that Jim had wanted her for the position, and even though she’d thought it was crazy she was going to say yes, if only to see that smile of his that made everything seem better.
But she had vanished and Starfleet had considered her absent without leave and then presumed her to be dead. So instead of that paperwork she was filling out forms to reinstate her as a cadet.
She’d known that they would. Somewhere deep down, she’d known all along that there was no way she could just hop right on the Enterprise. Things had changed in the three years she’d been gone, and she had to learn more and refresh what she’d already learned because of the years she’d been out of practice. Still, she had been upset when she’d learned that she would have to be away from Jim at least another year.
She sighed. If she worked hard enough, she could probably get all the courses and refreshers Starfleet wanted her to take care of done and over with in a year’s time. It would be difficult, but it would be worth it to be with Jim again as quickly as possible.
If he even still wanted her then. It was entirely possible he wouldn’t. She’d seen countless attempts at long-distance relationships fall apart, and who was to say that theirs would be an exception? Would they even try, or would he say he would rather hurt her now than later?
Lena shook her head. There was no point in worrying about it now.
Her movement caught Jim’s attention from where he was dozing on the bed. “What’s wrong?” Jim asked.
“From the list of courses I need now that I’m back, it’ll be at least a year before I can be stationed anywhere,” she replied. “I’d thought I was finally done with school.” She smiled, trying to make a joke out of it, trying her best to make him smile.
He grinned. “You’re a doctor. Thought you folks never stopped learning.”
It was true. The life of a doctor was full of new discoveries, and new discoveries meant new refreshers every now and then. “Still. A whole year.” A whole year away from you, she thought to herself.
“Hey.” She heard the rustle of the sheets as he stood, and then the soft padding noise of his footsteps as he walked over and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “It’s not so bad.”
“It’s a year, Jim. Who knows what could happen in the course of a year?”
“Why are you always so damned determined to see the cup as half empty, Bones?” he asked.
“I don’t see what that has to do with--”
“It has everything to do with this. Stop being so damned pessimistic. It’ll be all right. We’ll work something out.”
“But what if something happens?” she finally asked hesitantly. “What if one of us decides that we don’t want this anymore?”
“If you decide you don’t want to wait for me, of course I’ll let you go,” Jim said softly. “It’ll hurt like hell, but I’ll do it.”
“And if you decide that? What then, Jim?”
He chuckled wryly. “That won’t happen.”
“You can’t know that!” she exclaimed. “You can’t possibly know that you’ll feel just like you do now in a year’s time!”
“No, I can’t,” he admitted. “But I can tell you that I felt this way all three years you were gone. All three damn years I thought you were dead. Even that couldn’t change the fact that I love you. I doubt a year spent apart, knowing you’re alive, would be that much different.”
“I--” Lena stopped, sighing again. “I’ll miss you,” she finally muttered.
“And I’ll miss you too,” he replied. “But there are all kinds of ways to keep in contact. At least in this year we’ll be able to hear from each other somewhat regularly. I won’t be spending it thinking you’re dead, and you won’t be spending it remembering absolutely nothing about me.”
“There is that,” she agreed, stretching before finally standing up as he took a step back to let her. Turning, she nuzzled her way into his arms, enjoying the solid feel of him gently pressed against her. “But I’ll miss this.”
“I will too,” he sighed. “But that’s enough of that. Come to bed; the paperwork can wait until the morning. You’re not going to make yourself feel any better by staying up until two in the morning to finish it now.”
Lena smiled. “You’ll be sleeping too, right?”
“Of course I will,” he answered. “I sleep better when you’re there.”
“Are you just being cute or do you really mean it?” Lena asked, grinning.
“Who says it can’t be both?” he asked, tugging her down onto the mattress as he fell onto it.
She grinned, cuddling into him. “I say it can’t be both.”
“Why are you always so picky about this kind of thing?” he demanded, playfully rubbing his nose along her jaw.
Lena sighed happily, relaxing at the caress. “Because it’s who I am.”
“Of course it is. Remind me why I put up with it again?” Jim asked, grinning.
Lena’s reply was instant. “Because you love me,” she smirked.
Jim laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
Lena smiled as she cuddled into him, resting her head on his chest and enjoying listening to his solid, steady heartbeat. “Who knows,” she grinned. “I might even love you too.”
“Really, now?” Jim asked, smiling. “Because that would only be the best thing I’ve ever heard today.”
“Only today?”
“Well, you said it yesterday, too. And the day before that. And the day before that...”
Before Jim could say anything else, Lena was asleep with a smile on her face.
~*~
It was Jim’s last day on Earth before shipping out again, and Jim knew it as well as Bones did. He sighed, packing the last of his things away as she came up behind him, hugging him close.
“Jim,” she murmured into his back. “Make love to me before you leave? Please?”
Helpless to do anything but comply, Jim turned in her arms, kissing her hard. She moaned, melting into him as he tangled their tongues together. For the first time since she’d woken up in Sickbay, he slid his hands under her shirt, caressing bare skin as she pressed closer, pressing heated kisses into his jaw and neck.
“Bed,” Jim managed. Lena just looked at him, a single eyebrow raised. “I can’t get there with you tangled around me,” he clarified with a grin.
She blushed, stepping away just enough to let him remove her shirt before gently pressing her back into the mattress. She arched, her hands finding his and instantly sliding them up to her breasts, pressing up into his touch with a soft moan. “Please,” she whispered.
He shifted, lowering himself down on top of her, and licked over the shell of her ear. “I love you,” he whispered as she shivered.
Then his hands were sliding under her back, deftly unhooking her bra and slipping the straps off of her shoulders. “I love you too,” she breathed, gasping as his thumbs teased around her hardening nipples. “Please, please don’t tease me. Not now.”
He couldn’t say no, not to her, not now. Quickly, he kissed down her neck and breast to take one of those nipples into his mouth, gently sucking and enjoying the sound of her moans and the feel of her fingers gripping his hair. Sliding his hands down to her waist, he traced his fingertips around the waist of her pants until they were at the front, deftly opening them and shoving them down.
He groaned as he gently cupped her through her underwear, feeling her wet heat through them. “You’re so ready for me already,” he murmured, gently rolling his palm as she whimpered and rocked her hips.
“Yes, yes, please just--ah!” she gasped as he quickly shoved her underwear down as well.
She was just as wet and tight around his fingers as he remembered, and he gently pressed them deeper as he kissed his way down her stomach, intent on tasting her. She cried out, tightening around his fingers as his lips found her clit and sucked it gently before licking from his fingers back up to it.
A few more strokes of his tongue and a curl of his fingers and she was coming, moaning his name as her hips jerked and twitched and she rippled around his fingers. “God, I love you,” he breathed, kissing his way back up her as she relaxed into the mattress.
Soon, though, her hands were moving again, slipping under his shirt before dipping to the front of his pants, cupping and rubbing where his cock was pressing demandingly against them. He groaned, sucking on her collarbone as his hips rocked helplessly into her grip. Finally, though, he tore away, fumbling at the zipper with trembling fingers until his pants were open and she freed his cock, lining it up and arching her hips so that he started to sink into her.
Groaning, he lowered his hands to her hips, lifting them as he pressed further into her before bottoming out. He paused a moment, eyes closed, panting against her shoulder as he fought not to come then and there. When he thought he had some semblance of control over himself he looked up, meeting her eyes before kissing her hard as he started to move.
It was far from the slow, sweet coupling he’d imagined when he’d let himself think of how it would be. It was fast and hard and desperate as their lips met again and again, her legs wrapping around him and tugging him closer. It couldn’t have been any more perfect, though, especially when he thrust into her and she cried out, head tossing back in pleasure as her hips jerked up against his.
Knowing there was no way he could last much longer, he let his thumb trace over from her hip, circling on the mound of flesh above where he was pounding into her before circling down to her clit, pressing against it firmly. She shrieked, coming hard, arching her back and writhing beneath him as he groaned.
He lasted maybe a few more seconds before following her over the edge, moaning as his hips jerked and then stilled before he collapsed on top of her.
He heard the sharp exhale and instantly rolled off of her. “Sorry about that,” he breathed, unable to keep his distance for long before pulling her close.
“For what?” she demanded between soft pants. “From over here it was fucking perfect.”
“For falling on top of you,” he smiled, gently tracing her jaw.
She smiled in return, forgoing a verbal response in favor of kissing him softly. “I’ll miss you,” she murmured.
“I know,” he replied. “But I’ll be back and then there won’t be anything that’ll keep us apart.”
She smiled. She would certainly be working to make sure he was right about that, as she had let him know several times over. “Yeah.”
Finally, they rolled out of bed and dressed quickly, he to leave and she to see him off. All too quickly for Jim, they reached the point where she couldn’t follow him further. He pulled her into his arms one last time, whispering, “I love you” one last time before heading for the shuttle that would take him to the Enterprise.
It was time. He had to go back into space without her this time. Before long, though, she would be up there with him, and they’d both be where they belonged.
~*~
3 Years Later
Lena smiled as she set the last of her things down in her new quarters. “Finally.”
“Yeah,” Jim murmured in her ear, arms wrapping around her from behind. “Seriously, how much shit have you gathered these past few years?”
Turning in his arms, Lena nipped at his neck. “Careful, now. You don’t want to get on my bad side when I’m finally on your crew list, do you?”
“I guess not,” Jim conceded, holding her close. “I’ve missed you,” he admitted as he buried his face in her hair.
Lena stepped back just enough to look up at him. “I missed you too.” Leaning up, she kissed him softly.
As he kissed back, she sighed happily, tugging him toward her bed as his hands slipped under her shirt.
Everything was right again.