(no subject)
1.smoked a cigarette - yeah
2.smoked a cigar - yeah
3.made out with a member of the same sex - oh yes.
4.crashed a friend's car - no
5.stolen a car - no
6.been in love - yeah, but whatever..
7.been dumped - yeah
8.shoplifted - yeah
9.been fired - no
10.been in a fist fight - no
11.snuck out of ur house - no
12.had feelings for someone who didnt have them back - yeah
13.been arrested - no
14.made out with a stranger- yeah
15.gone on a blind date- yeah
16.lied to a friend - probably, but it would only have been to spare their feelings about something
17.had a crush on a teacher - haha, duh.
18.skipped school- way too much
19.slept with a co-worker- yeah
20.seen someone die - no
21.been on a plane - yeah
22.thrown up in a bar- no
23.taken painkillers - yes, and i abuse them, too.
24.love someone or miss someone right now - yes, unfortunately.
25.laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by- yeah :)
26.made a snow angel - yeah
27.played dress up - yep
28.cheated while playing a game - yeah
29.been lonely - all the time
30.fallen asleep at work/school - yeah
31.used a fake id - no
32.felt an earthquake - no
33.touched a snake - yeah
34. ran a red light - yeah
35.been suspended from school- no
36.had detention - yes, for tardies and skipping
37.been in a car accident - a small one, with a fence
38.hated the way you look- of course, have you seen me?
39.witnessed a crime - yeah
40.pole danced - no
41.been lost - yeah
42.been to the opposite side of the country - um, i've been pretty far north, but not directly north...northeast.
43.felt like dying - oh yeah
44.cried yourself to sleep - yep
45.played cops and robbers - yeah
46.karaoke - yep, sang a love song to miranda while i was drunk on new year's eve
47.done something you told yourself you wouldn't - haha yep
48.laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose - yep, twice in the past month
49.caught a snowflake on your tongue - yeah
50.kissed in the rain - yeah
51.sing in the shower - i sing ALONG, but not alone
52.made love in a park - nope
53.had a dream that you married someone - yeah
54. glued your hand to something - yep
55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole- no
56.worn the opposite sex's clothes - everyday
57.been a cheerleader- no
58. sat on a roof top - oh yeah
59. didn't take a shower for a week - hell no
60.ever to scared to watch scary movies alone - um, no. okay, yes.
61.played chicken - yeah
62.been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - no
63.been told you're hot by a complete stranger - yeah
64.broken a bone - yeah, my big toe
65.been easily amused - haha yeah
66.laugh so hard you cry - yes, all the time
67.mooned/flashed someone - mhmmm
68.cheated on a test - yes
69.forgotten someone's name - nope
70.slept naked - usually
71.gone skinny dipping in a pool - yeah
72.been kicked out of your house- no
73.blacked out from drinking - yep. it's become a common occurence. I'M NO ALCOHOLIC, BITCH!
74.played a prank on someone - yeah
75.gone to a late night movie - they're the best
76.made love to anything not human - oh yeah, remember that dog i used to have named Bruce... WTF? Noooo!!!
i can't help but wonder if i'm really okay.
am i really strong? am i really content? am i really not missing her that much?
or am i convincing myself of those things. without actually BEING them?
is it normal to go back and forth, arguing with myself during the day....
i love her so much...
no, i'm not in love with her anymore, i don't need her..
i miss her so much, if i could just look into her eyes again...
miss her? why miss her? miss what? i don't miss her. i'm just fine.
is that normal?
since when do i care what normal is anyway? and why does everyone else?
*sigh*
i cried yesterday. i can't believe i'm admitting that. so, i cried once and i had a close call one other time. what's that about?
kristy bought a 2 for 1 deal on cigarettes and they were the menthol Marlboro's. the tiny ones Miranda smokes. the taste reminded me of her. and it made me sick to my stomach.
me: why am i getting sick now? now...this long after when i was fine at the beginning?
kristy: bc you closed your emotions off
me: well, they need to close back up. i think i'm going to fucking puke..
i didn't.
but when i got home last night. my parents were still gone and i was loading the dishwasher and straightening up in the kitchen. i don't know what fucking triggered it, but i started crying and thinking about her. almost in the floor crying. i found two bottles of Darvocet in the cabinet by the fridge and took 4. i was all good after that.
so, i don't know my emotional/mental state right now. i do know i'm happy for the most part. i just want all of the thoughts and feelings in the recesses to go away for good. no traces. no more little thoughts. just happiness.
it's coming though. someday. maybe soon. maybe not. i sure hope so, though. i'm ready to move on and continue enjoying life.
ps- i might have a smaaaall crush
2.smoked a cigar - yeah
3.made out with a member of the same sex - oh yes.
4.crashed a friend's car - no
5.stolen a car - no
6.been in love - yeah, but whatever..
7.been dumped - yeah
8.shoplifted - yeah
9.been fired - no
10.been in a fist fight - no
11.snuck out of ur house - no
12.had feelings for someone who didnt have them back - yeah
13.been arrested - no
14.made out with a stranger- yeah
15.gone on a blind date- yeah
16.lied to a friend - probably, but it would only have been to spare their feelings about something
17.had a crush on a teacher - haha, duh.
18.skipped school- way too much
19.slept with a co-worker- yeah
20.seen someone die - no
21.been on a plane - yeah
22.thrown up in a bar- no
23.taken painkillers - yes, and i abuse them, too.
24.love someone or miss someone right now - yes, unfortunately.
25.laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by- yeah :)
26.made a snow angel - yeah
27.played dress up - yep
28.cheated while playing a game - yeah
29.been lonely - all the time
30.fallen asleep at work/school - yeah
31.used a fake id - no
32.felt an earthquake - no
33.touched a snake - yeah
34. ran a red light - yeah
35.been suspended from school- no
36.had detention - yes, for tardies and skipping
37.been in a car accident - a small one, with a fence
38.hated the way you look- of course, have you seen me?
39.witnessed a crime - yeah
40.pole danced - no
41.been lost - yeah
42.been to the opposite side of the country - um, i've been pretty far north, but not directly north...northeast.
43.felt like dying - oh yeah
44.cried yourself to sleep - yep
45.played cops and robbers - yeah
46.karaoke - yep, sang a love song to miranda while i was drunk on new year's eve
47.done something you told yourself you wouldn't - haha yep
48.laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose - yep, twice in the past month
49.caught a snowflake on your tongue - yeah
50.kissed in the rain - yeah
51.sing in the shower - i sing ALONG, but not alone
52.made love in a park - nope
53.had a dream that you married someone - yeah
54. glued your hand to something - yep
55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole- no
56.worn the opposite sex's clothes - everyday
57.been a cheerleader- no
58. sat on a roof top - oh yeah
59. didn't take a shower for a week - hell no
60.ever to scared to watch scary movies alone - um, no. okay, yes.
61.played chicken - yeah
62.been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - no
63.been told you're hot by a complete stranger - yeah
64.broken a bone - yeah, my big toe
65.been easily amused - haha yeah
66.laugh so hard you cry - yes, all the time
67.mooned/flashed someone - mhmmm
68.cheated on a test - yes
69.forgotten someone's name - nope
70.slept naked - usually
71.gone skinny dipping in a pool - yeah
72.been kicked out of your house- no
73.blacked out from drinking - yep. it's become a common occurence. I'M NO ALCOHOLIC, BITCH!
74.played a prank on someone - yeah
75.gone to a late night movie - they're the best
76.made love to anything not human - oh yeah, remember that dog i used to have named Bruce... WTF? Noooo!!!
i can't help but wonder if i'm really okay.
am i really strong? am i really content? am i really not missing her that much?
or am i convincing myself of those things. without actually BEING them?
is it normal to go back and forth, arguing with myself during the day....
i love her so much...
no, i'm not in love with her anymore, i don't need her..
i miss her so much, if i could just look into her eyes again...
miss her? why miss her? miss what? i don't miss her. i'm just fine.
is that normal?
since when do i care what normal is anyway? and why does everyone else?
*sigh*
i cried yesterday. i can't believe i'm admitting that. so, i cried once and i had a close call one other time. what's that about?
kristy bought a 2 for 1 deal on cigarettes and they were the menthol Marlboro's. the tiny ones Miranda smokes. the taste reminded me of her. and it made me sick to my stomach.
me: why am i getting sick now? now...this long after when i was fine at the beginning?
kristy: bc you closed your emotions off
me: well, they need to close back up. i think i'm going to fucking puke..
i didn't.
but when i got home last night. my parents were still gone and i was loading the dishwasher and straightening up in the kitchen. i don't know what fucking triggered it, but i started crying and thinking about her. almost in the floor crying. i found two bottles of Darvocet in the cabinet by the fridge and took 4. i was all good after that.
so, i don't know my emotional/mental state right now. i do know i'm happy for the most part. i just want all of the thoughts and feelings in the recesses to go away for good. no traces. no more little thoughts. just happiness.
it's coming though. someday. maybe soon. maybe not. i sure hope so, though. i'm ready to move on and continue enjoying life.
ps- i might have a smaaaall crush