ooookay. time for an update.
what have i been doing? workiiiiiiing. yep. that's about all. but, still enjoying life. and dreaming about the future. i get so excited thinking about the future. mmm mmm mmm. hahaha
ummmm...i had a weird conversation with my niece earlier...
Cltcutie95: hey
watchyourhearttx: hey
Cltcutie95: what are you doing?
Cltcutie95: :-)
watchyourhearttx: nothing. i got home from work not too long ago. going to have dinner soon. you?
Cltcutie95: I just had dinner and Cristy is here
watchyourhearttx: who is cristy?
Cltcutie95: your friend
Cltcutie95: member?
watchyourhearttx: huh??? MY friend kristy is there???
Cltcutie95: isnt that her name?
watchyourhearttx: yeah...what is she doing?
Cltcutie95: well shes asking my mom if she wants any pants cause i think that cristys getting rid of some shorts
watchyourhearttx: ooooookay. that's weird.
Cltcutie95: yeah
watchyourhearttx: where is she at?
Cltcutie95: on the back porch and I am not sure if shes left yet
watchyourhearttx: yeah, i just talked to your mom on the phone, she said she left ten minutes ago
Cltcutie95: oh thats wierd
Cltcutie95: oops I mean weird
watchyourhearttx: :-)
Cltcutie95: i have to go cause i have to do the rest of chores
Cltcutie95: bye
watchyourhearttx: ok love you, bye
awww. hehe yeah, anyway...kristy was there to see if my sister had any shorts that would fit HER. for her to wear to work. but my sister didn't. yeah, weird. aaanyway.
starting to look for a new car. or, well...a truck. yay. making the money i make now and having no more bills than i do....i can afford to make a payment. plus, get me a jet ski. (live i've been wanting to do for sooo long.) i will soon LIVE on the lake. oh, yeah.
when i saw Miranda last Monday, and we talked...i told her, and at the time, believed i wouldn't find anyone i loved as much as i did her, and i wouldn't find anyone as good as her.
okay. hold the phone. of course i will. i will never find anyone quite like her again, but i will find someone i love. maybe as much, maybe more. who knows? i mean...i loved her more than i could ever comprehend loving someone. so we'll see. but either way, i know i will be happy.
but, the main thing is....i'm not looking for it. i don't want love. i guess i do still believe in it. for other people. but not for me. not right now at least. that is absolutely the LAST thing i want. omg, it makes me sick to think of it. i don't want to have to worry about a girlfriend. i really don't. i want to date...oh yeah. that would be cool. and i may even date exclusively. exclusively, yikes...um...i'll do that if i find a girl suitable for that. but yeah. i'm just going to have fun.
i compiled a little thing of songs and parts of songs that are just....they either say a lot a lot a lot about how i feel, what i think, how things are going in my life, my outlook on life, or whatever...so here they are. (i hope you will all take the time to read them, bc they still say good stuff...)
okay, this first one, is just..because i absolutely LOVE this song. and maybe it does say a lot about my "new alcoholic" attitude. psh. whatever. i love this song....
I can make anybody pretty.
I can make you believe any lie.
I can make you pick a fight with somebody twice your size.
Well, I?ve been known to cause a few break-ups,
An' I?ve been known to cause a few births.
Well, I can make you new friends, or get you fired from work.
And since the day I left Milwaukee,
Lynchburg an' Bordeaux, France,
Been making the bars lots of big money,
An' helpin' white people dance.
I got you in trouble in High School,
But College, now that was a ball.
You had some of the best times you?ll never remember with me:
Alcohol; Alcohol.
I got blamed at your wedding reception,
For your best man?s embarrassing speech.
And also for those naked pictures of you at the beach.
I?ve influenced Kings and world leaders,
I helped Hemingway write like he did.
And I?ll bet you a drink or two, that I can make you put that lampshade on your head.
?Cause since the day I left Milwaukee,
Lynchburg and Bordeaux, France,
I been making a fool out of folks just like you,
An' helping white people dance.
I am medicine and I am poison,
I can help you up or make you fall.
You had some of the best times you?ll never remember with me:
Alcohol.
Yeah, since the day I left Milwaukee,
Lynchburg an' Bordeaux, France,
Been making the bars lots of big money,
(Helpin' white people dance.)
Yeah, I got you in trouble in High School,
But College, now that was a ball.
You had some of the best times you?ll never remember with me:
Alcohol; Alcohol.
"Alcohol"-Brad Paisley
Some believe in destiny, and some believe in fate
I believe that happiness is something we create
You best belive that I'm not gonna wait
'Cause there's gotta be something more
"Something More"-Sugarland
I don't stop breathing everytime the phone rings,
My heart don't race when someone's at my door,
I don't believe in magic anymore,
I just don't lie awake at night,
Asking God to get you off my mind.
It's getting better all the time,
it's getting better all the time.
Yeah I got to work on time again this morning,
This old job is all that I got left,
And no one even noticed I'd been crying, (I DONT CRY ANYMORE AT ALLLL)
At least I don't have whiskey on my breath, (JUST BEER, HAHA)
Yeah I KNOW I'm gonna make it,
'Cause God won't make a mountain I can't climb.
God I hope you're happy,
Girl I wish you well
"It's Getting Better All the Time"-Brooks&Dunn
I'm soaring the sky I can hear the birds and man they don't lie
How you gonna catch me, when I'm this high
I'm moving on I got the words to a brand new song
How you gonna catch me, when I'm this close
"Goodbye Is All We Have"- Alison Krauss
I feel sorry for the next girl in line
She ain’t got a chance in hell
The last one taught me not to let my guard down
Yeah, I’ve learned my lesson well, I’m not lovin’ anymore
If I seem like a jaded man
I’ve been burned time and again
By the flames of love, Lord above
Knows I try real hard
Not sure that I’m through with love
One thing I am sure of
I don’t want to feel this way again
I’d be a fool to try again
Love’s a game you just can’t win
So for a while I think that I’ll
Sit out of the game
All the hurt and pain I feel
The wounds of love take time to heal
So don’t be a-thinkin that I’ll be a-lovin’ soon
"Not Lovin' Anymore"-Kevin Fowler
It's a heartache,
Nothin' but a heartache:
Hits you when it's too late,
Hits you when you're down.
It's a fool's game,
Nothin' but a fool's game:
Standing in the cold rain,
Feeling like a clown.
It's a heartache,
Nothin' but a heartache:
Love him till your arms break,
Then he lets you down.
It ain't right with love to share,
When you find he doesn't care for you.
It ain't wise to need someone,
As much as I depended on you.
Ah, it's a heartache,
Nothin' but a heartache:
Hits you when it's too late,
Hits you when you're down.
(Oh, it's a heartache,)
Oh, it's a fool's game,
(Nothin' but a heartache:)
Standing in the cold rain,
(Standing in the cold rain.)
Feelin' like a clown.
"It's A Heartache"-Trick Pony
stand in line pass the time
live and learn wait my turn
"Change"-Warren Brothers
I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it,
Oh you left so fast,
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch
Sometimes I feel I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God give me moments grace
Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
"Probably Wouldn't Be This Way"-Leann Rimes
These old boots still got a lot of ground
they ain’t covered yet
There’s at least another million miles
under these old bus treads
So if you think I’m gonnna settle down
I‘ve got news for you
I still got a lot of leavin’ left to do
And as long as there’s a song
Left in this old guitar
This life I’m bound to lead
Ain’t for the faint of heart
So you won’t fall for me
if you know what’s good for you
‘cause I still got a lot of leavin’ left to do
I guess the Lord made me hard to handle
So lovin’ me might be a long shot gamble
So before you go and turn me on
Be sure that you can turn me loose
‘cause I still got a lot of leavin’ left to do
Girl, you look like you might be an angel
So I won’t lie
I could love you like the devil
if you wanted me to tonight
And we could talk about forever for a day or two
But I still got a lot of leavin’ left to do
"Lot of Leavin' Left to Do"- Dierks Bentley
Life is funny, life's a mess
Sometimes a curse, sometimes a blessing
Don't worry 'bout a thing, don't worry 'bout it
Life gets sticky, life can bruise
Sometimes you win sometimes your losing
No matter what it brings
Don't worry 'bout a thing
"Don't Worry 'Bout a Thing"-SHEDaisy
If we had known our love would come to this
We could have saved our hearts the hurt of wasted years
Well it's been fun - what else can I say
If the feeling's gone words won't stop you anyway
Then it's goodbye time...
"Goodbye Time"- Blake Shelton
yeah. i'm very very happy right now. i'm very happy with how my life is. and i can't imagine it being any other way right now.