(no subject)
I have internet access again! xD It has been months. To celebrate I bring you not something epic or well-written, but an old and unedited piece that I'm not sure I even like very much, because I have to start somewhere, after all.
ALTERNA
Sungmin/Hyukjae, Sungmin/Hyukjae/Donghae, Hyukjae/Donghae, PG-13, 479 words
Sungmin dreams of Hyukjae.
They are laying side by side, out in the long grass, and they are watching the sky; the clouds are rolling by fast and the air is thick and heavy. It's difficult to breathe, but sometimes it's like that anyway when he's with Hyukjae, and he is silent, motionless, for a very long time. Hyukjae is talking low in his ear, urgent, but it all seems very far away, and Sungmin doesn't understand what he wants; it is not until he breaks his own silence that everything becomes clear. No, is all he says.
It is something Sungmin has never been able to say to Hyukjae when it really matters.
He wakes up.
They are in a bed, Hyukjae's bed, and Hyukjae is awake too; he tenses a little when he realises Sungmin is looking at him. Beside him, Donghae stirs but does not wake, and Hyukjae is reaching for Sungmin regardless. He tries to remember how they got themselves into this, but only a few details come back: soju, quite a lot of it. Hyukjae chewing on his nails, so obviously nervous about something, and the counterpoint, the excitement in Donghae's shining eyes. Sungmin hadn't been sure if he'd been meant to say yes or no, but had found himself saying yes anyway, because -
because no is something he has never been able to say to Hyukjae when it really matters. Although this, he supposes, does not really matter, not now; the younger pair will brush it off, call it an experience, forget about it. Sungmin will mark it on his great big list of Hyukjae-related fuckups, and that will be that.
Donghae was beautiful, Sungmin knows that much. It was all fast and desperate and strange, but he was beautiful anyway. Still, he's surprised he even noticed, because there was Hyukjae, apprehensive, restrained, and when he'd put his hands on Sungmin (again, finally, again) everything else faded. Things blurred. And then it was over.
And Hyukjae is reaching for him still, and because it will not matter, he will not let it matter, Sungmin will allow this to happen too - they kiss, and he tries not to notice that Hyukjae tastes of Donghae. When they pull apart Hyukjae does not, will not look at him, but gathers Donghae in his arms (like he is protecting the younger boy from something, or maybe the other way around) and he feigns sleep.
When the pair wake up in the morning, Sungmin realises, he will already be gone. He will get on with his life and pretend that what they did was okay, that it doesn't affect the fragile sort of friendship they have left; and he will try to forget, but he will dream of Hyukjae still, and he will be glad of it. Because at least in dreams, he can say no.
ALTERNA
Sungmin/Hyukjae, Sungmin/Hyukjae/Donghae, Hyukjae/Donghae, PG-13, 479 words
Sungmin dreams of Hyukjae.
They are laying side by side, out in the long grass, and they are watching the sky; the clouds are rolling by fast and the air is thick and heavy. It's difficult to breathe, but sometimes it's like that anyway when he's with Hyukjae, and he is silent, motionless, for a very long time. Hyukjae is talking low in his ear, urgent, but it all seems very far away, and Sungmin doesn't understand what he wants; it is not until he breaks his own silence that everything becomes clear. No, is all he says.
It is something Sungmin has never been able to say to Hyukjae when it really matters.
He wakes up.
They are in a bed, Hyukjae's bed, and Hyukjae is awake too; he tenses a little when he realises Sungmin is looking at him. Beside him, Donghae stirs but does not wake, and Hyukjae is reaching for Sungmin regardless. He tries to remember how they got themselves into this, but only a few details come back: soju, quite a lot of it. Hyukjae chewing on his nails, so obviously nervous about something, and the counterpoint, the excitement in Donghae's shining eyes. Sungmin hadn't been sure if he'd been meant to say yes or no, but had found himself saying yes anyway, because -
because no is something he has never been able to say to Hyukjae when it really matters. Although this, he supposes, does not really matter, not now; the younger pair will brush it off, call it an experience, forget about it. Sungmin will mark it on his great big list of Hyukjae-related fuckups, and that will be that.
Donghae was beautiful, Sungmin knows that much. It was all fast and desperate and strange, but he was beautiful anyway. Still, he's surprised he even noticed, because there was Hyukjae, apprehensive, restrained, and when he'd put his hands on Sungmin (again, finally, again) everything else faded. Things blurred. And then it was over.
And Hyukjae is reaching for him still, and because it will not matter, he will not let it matter, Sungmin will allow this to happen too - they kiss, and he tries not to notice that Hyukjae tastes of Donghae. When they pull apart Hyukjae does not, will not look at him, but gathers Donghae in his arms (like he is protecting the younger boy from something, or maybe the other way around) and he feigns sleep.
When the pair wake up in the morning, Sungmin realises, he will already be gone. He will get on with his life and pretend that what they did was okay, that it doesn't affect the fragile sort of friendship they have left; and he will try to forget, but he will dream of Hyukjae still, and he will be glad of it. Because at least in dreams, he can say no.