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[imamirage]

I hate you so because you make me eat   jello and pudding and dairy...   dietary restrictions, monetary   restrictions an addiction to

pain killers like   empty stomachs, lefty scissors, and broken zippers   no bread, no gluten, no red, no acid  no dairy or anything  with too

many calories  confining myself to a controllable substance box   trying to

Comments

[fey_seraph]

noted, noted noted. why the dieting?

[fey_seraph]

If that is what is going on -- as I try to construct it from your brief posts.
im not against anything, I am Just curious.

[imamirage]

it's part OCD and part ED, I guess. I'm trying to control the only things I can and eating is one of them. Plus, if I follow the regimen like I'm supposed to, those are the things I'm not supposed to have based on the fact that they kill me. Gluten, dairy, things that are red, and things with a lot of acidity kill me.

[fey_seraph]

Mm. Gluten and dairy can be bad. IN that category I do like ezeikial bread and raw cheese though.
Things that are red? What do you mean?

Well, I hope that you find what you need. My partner had an ed coming from wanting to control something as well, and ended up in the hospital because he couldnt absorb nutrients anymore after not eating for so long.
I don't have a very high opinion of the eating disorder idea :)
there are so many things that I can't control... but -not trying- can be a blessing too.
life is there to bring what you need, and will always do so even in the strangest guises... but the less obsessive your agenda, the more it can do that.