11:11. Make a wish.
Now on my own, never to see summer again, I'm not looking back on what my life became that day.
Im waiting for you, to bring me back to life some day.
I can see how time just sneaks up on "grown ups." Its such a sight to look around, and actually see how time is flowing by. To see the ripples, slowly fadeing in the distance. I have never wanted to live forever, I don't even care if someone remembers me after I am gone. I just want to make this one shot count. Do you?
I can't seem to form the words I want to describe what I am feeling. I could go and copy and paste from some other entry about the same thing, and it would still come out to "I want an adventure." Yes, life itself is an adventure, but only when you consider it that. I want something that will make it that. Not a purpose, no, you make your own purpose. I don't want love, I have had it.
I talked to mom the night before last. We talked about alot of things, and she was really happy. There are some things I can't tell my mom, because I have promises to keep, and a secret is a secret, but everything thats mine, I talk to her about. I have made it a point to be blatenly honest with her as much as I can, it has made things so much easier. I don't have to sneak anywhere, and when she knows whats going on, its easier for her to help.
I like to know whats going on around me. I like to look at someone and see through what they are telling me. Thats a fun game, but im getting tired of it.
The more you learn, the less you know, though, heh. I can't wait to start school again. I don't even care about my education, I want to do well in school just to meet more people. This entire entry is such shit. Cutting now. I really cant say anything new. I am where I was before. Just waiting for the chance to make something happen. Thats what gets me though, I guess. Im really impatient. I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I. I say that all the time, but talking about just how I feel is the only way I can keep from directly saying what I am feeling about.
God damn it I would make such a good soldier. If I have reason enough, I can blind myself to everthing and just charge straight ahead. I don't even care if I am running into a wall. As long as I believe in you, its worth ever bit of pain.
There, thats it. That entire thing of shit was for that one little line. I want to believe in something. Who doesn't though? Whats different about that? Whats so unique? Nothing. I just want to believe in something thats true. Fuck. Who doesn't. I should just delete this whole entry, its been an absolute waste of time, but I just had to type something. I want to have something so bad, I want to make it happen so bad, as if typing all this out would make a difference. Fuck. I hope you aren't still wasteing your time on this.
Just took a shower. 12:17 now. Noticed the little mostly shaved spot on my right leg, from when I got all that glue stuck in it. 1:04. Time to get ready and go, almost. I am leaving early today. Quick fucking change from before, huh?
Im waiting for you, to bring me back to life some day.
I can see how time just sneaks up on "grown ups." Its such a sight to look around, and actually see how time is flowing by. To see the ripples, slowly fadeing in the distance. I have never wanted to live forever, I don't even care if someone remembers me after I am gone. I just want to make this one shot count. Do you?
I can't seem to form the words I want to describe what I am feeling. I could go and copy and paste from some other entry about the same thing, and it would still come out to "I want an adventure." Yes, life itself is an adventure, but only when you consider it that. I want something that will make it that. Not a purpose, no, you make your own purpose. I don't want love, I have had it.
I talked to mom the night before last. We talked about alot of things, and she was really happy. There are some things I can't tell my mom, because I have promises to keep, and a secret is a secret, but everything thats mine, I talk to her about. I have made it a point to be blatenly honest with her as much as I can, it has made things so much easier. I don't have to sneak anywhere, and when she knows whats going on, its easier for her to help.
I like to know whats going on around me. I like to look at someone and see through what they are telling me. Thats a fun game, but im getting tired of it.
The more you learn, the less you know, though, heh. I can't wait to start school again. I don't even care about my education, I want to do well in school just to meet more people. This entire entry is such shit. Cutting now. I really cant say anything new. I am where I was before. Just waiting for the chance to make something happen. Thats what gets me though, I guess. Im really impatient. I.I.I.I.I.I.I.I. I say that all the time, but talking about just how I feel is the only way I can keep from directly saying what I am feeling about.
God damn it I would make such a good soldier. If I have reason enough, I can blind myself to everthing and just charge straight ahead. I don't even care if I am running into a wall. As long as I believe in you, its worth ever bit of pain.
There, thats it. That entire thing of shit was for that one little line. I want to believe in something. Who doesn't though? Whats different about that? Whats so unique? Nothing. I just want to believe in something thats true. Fuck. Who doesn't. I should just delete this whole entry, its been an absolute waste of time, but I just had to type something. I want to have something so bad, I want to make it happen so bad, as if typing all this out would make a difference. Fuck. I hope you aren't still wasteing your time on this.
Just took a shower. 12:17 now. Noticed the little mostly shaved spot on my right leg, from when I got all that glue stuck in it. 1:04. Time to get ready and go, almost. I am leaving early today. Quick fucking change from before, huh?