✘ appointments post

[imatreenow]

For those moments when we're in between posts and need to thread something out.

Please note the date and the type of post - action, written, or voice.

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[written | november 20th]

[sketchingideals]

[Jeb can feel his heart pounding in his ears as he stares down at his journal. Was this really such a good idea, especially after both Raine and Yuan told him to avoid this person? Maybe not... but maybe it is. Maybe this way, he can finally get over what happened that day. It might be a flaw, but the artist also has a rather large bleeding heart. Even... even Donovan...

He shakes his head furiously. No, don't think about Donovan right now. A hand hoovers over the camera for a moment before covering it, using his other hand to write:]

We're told we should stay away from you. [He... he hates starting the conversation out like that, but he couldn't think of anything else.]

[written | november 20th]

[imatreenow]

[His eyes narrow in suspicion immediately as his mind races. Who...? It could be anyone from the village... A human. Someone who has been warned about him...by Raine? Yuan? He has no idea what to make of this. Out of paranoia, he too obscures his image.]

Then why are you contacting me? [Mithos has no qualms with anyone telling others to stay away from him; it's what he wants anyway. To be left alone, never at risk for being hurt. So then why isn't this person listening? He tenses.]

[written | november 20th]

[sketchingideals]

[So now it's a dance of anonymity. Jeb lets out a shaky breath, trying to keep the hand he's writing with stable as he jots down a response.]

Because I don't believe you're bad. Not at heart. [Because in those furious, enraged eyes, Jeb could have sworn he saw loneliness and despair too. It's not something he can ignore, even if fear pulses through his body and vivid flashes of what happened two months ago haunt him.]

[written | november 20th]

[imatreenow]

[Now he's stuck. Of course he isn't the bad guy. At least, he isn't the only bad guy - if he's 'bad', everyone else is just as 'bad' too. But at the same time he definitely doesn't want to encourage whoever this is, make them think he can reach out to him and break through.]

What makes you think you understand anything about me?

[written | november 20th]

[sketchingideals]

It's not that I understand--even if I would like to--I just think that maybe you have your reasons.

[It's all he can think of to say, even if it's true.]

[written | november 20th]

[imatreenow]

Of course I have my reasons.

[that's not the part that trips him up, though] Why do you care?

[written | november 20th]

[sketchingideals]

Because I can't bring myself not to. It's not right to ignore someone who seems unhappy. Maybe I'm wrong, and maybe you're not lonely, but that's just how I see it. I'm sorry if I am wrong, I know I shouldn't assume like this.

[Another honest answer. ...except that he hadn't meant to write the word "lonely."]

[written | november 20th]

[imatreenow]

[He stares down at the page in alarm, which he doesn't even try to hide because the anonymity has him covered. Who is this, and how do they know anything about him? His mind flips through a list of people, but pieces aren't coming together. He feels violently claustrophobic. Quickly, he scrawls question after question.]

Who are you? How do you know who I am? What are your intentions?

[written | november 20th]

[sketchingideals]

I just want to try and help. I don't think you're really the person I met that day.

[However, as soon as he finishes that response, his other hand slips off the camera for the moment--he quickly covers it again in panic.]

[written | november 20th]

[imatreenow]

[Too late. He already saw enough, and it all clicks into place.]

Are you completely stupid? I don't need help from a worthless piece of trash like you. [stay away stay away stay away stay away or he will tear you to pieces before you can shred him]

[written | november 20th]

[sketchingideals]

Why do you hate me so much?

[No one will give him enough information on the other and he just doesn't understand.]

[written | november 20th]

[imatreenow]

I hate you because humans can never be trusted. What is not to hate? You lie and betray and destroy, and nothing more.

[written | november 20th]

[sketchingideals]

But I don't want to do any of that! Especially not betray anyone. Betrayal is something that hurts, why would I want to make someone else go through it? Better I get hurt than anyone e-- [He furiously scribbles that last part out. He's getting too emotional, showing too much of his true opinion of himself, and with this person... he's not sure he should, especially since it's something he doesn't want anyone to know.]

[written | november 20th]

[imatreenow]

You're lying. You don't want to help me. You don't. Do you think I'm stupid enough to believe that?

[People just aren't like that. ...Then his mind jumps to Sayo. He's been letting her look after him because he realizes she has no ill intent toward him, right? Which he's still not entirely sure about, but...there's something there that reassures him at least a little. Something that holds him back from running away. She's a fluke, though. Almost unreal. There can't possibly be more like her.]

[written | november 20th]

[sketchingideals]

Why wouldn't I want to help you? What does me being human have to do with anything?

[...his mind flashes again to Aero--to Donovan, remembering something he had told Jeb while teaching the artist more about Aviophiel and the ancient elementals. Those elementals, which included Donovan himself, had faced a problem with humans, hadn't they? ...is it like that?]

I don't have anything gain from hurting you, and I don't want to. What I am shouldn't mean anything. I don't lie about wanting to help people.

[written | november 20th]

[imatreenow]

I don't need your help, nor do I want it. [his pen pauses. that should have been the other way around...but he keeps going, hand tense with anger and fear.]

I thought I made it clear that you should stay away from me. Or are you too stupid to figure that out?