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[rnddaway]

I have crept back in The Hole. The Hole is this depressed state of mind I get into when I start to think about how many years I have left. How morbid is that? I start thinking about people I love and care about and how it would feel to lose them. This all started when I had cancer and lost my dad the same year. I wish I could control it but lately

Comments

[yararanger]

Often. My granddad died from bowel cancer in the days before it was treatable; my daddy died of bone marrow cancer... There are days when I wonder which cancer I'll get and when it'll strike and cart me off, like... as though it's already predetermined that I'll develop cancer and that's how I'll die! Recently (earlier this year) a friend lost both her mother and grandmother to lung cancer, and it... feels like we're playing a waiting game, seeing who else is going to die next, and of what. I wonder if it makes us more ...clingy/possessive? Another friend whom I know online thought I was eccentric for worrying so much when she went AWOL for a week, but... is it really so surprising that I worry for people's safety?

...Yeah, is pretty morbid, isn't it? =/ Though conversely (all rationality aside), because of this I've thrown myself into studying, travelling, seeing friends etc. just to get everything 'done' so I won't have cause to regret

Support in our grief and sickness

[lk638]

The loss of a loved one puts us in touch with our own mortality. We see the frailty of humanity. We begin to grasp how thin the veil really is between this world and the next (eternity). Every time I say goodbye to a loved one, I reach up and know that they are but a shade away...just on the other side