Thank you for what you've written, next year will be my 5 year mark. I can tell it's already so much better than it was AND like the quote, most of the time I'm just fine.
I'm sorry that 11 year old (and 12 year old, 13, and etc) did not have their father, life can be unfair. I don't look forward to that point where I imagine life without him being a longer time than the time with him.
I've tried to always write in this group off and on but last year was tough. I lost my uncle to CHF and he was a surrogate dad. I'm glad my words can help anyone...it'll get easier as the years go on and it helps alot if you talk about him and how you feel with those you trust and love. Opening up is hard-I know that too well but it's worth it in the end.
And yes life is unfair isn't it? His loss made me who I am today and I treasure that daily-it helped me realize that I had this need to help kids just like me. And I do-working with troubled kids has helped me realize what I do have in life and remind me to love that as well. Volunteering helped me as well...and yeah that 10 year mark really hurt. I can still remember falling apart and willingly calling my mom crying and really upset...but it was also a turning point-after that we finally talked about him and that made the hurt alot less when we were willing to be a family again.
There are some days I'm truly happy. And I know that's all my dad would have wanted for me. And that's what I think about on those difficult days when I think too much and cry too hard.
Exactly. These are the feelings we need to keep hold of.
It's no problem...I felt this need to remark on it since my family hadn't.
If I get too sad I just remember that my life could be worse-it helps working with kids that are worse off than even I was at their age...I also force myself to remember he'd be proud of me and what I've worked hard to accomplish. And thinking of his reaction makes me smile more than cry. I hold onto that and my memory of him on those rough days.
I also speak to him (not in a crazy way) about my decisions and imagine he's there wherever the dead go listening and sometimes just laughing at me over some of my life's events...making me feel like he's still there in some way helped alot when I was younger and no one understood.
The Collete quote has been a source of strength for me since he passed. I look at it alot whenever I'm depressed and realize that I'm not the only one that reacts to loss that way...it made me feel less alone in some sense.
Thanks for sharing...i'm on the cusp of 10 years and have seen the changes but always wonder what if...my dad were still here. :( Thank you for your story.
Comments 5
I'm sorry that 11 year old (and 12 year old, 13, and etc) did not have their father, life can be unfair. I don't look forward to that point where I imagine life without him being a longer time than the time with him.
Thank you for your post.
Reply
And yes life is unfair isn't it? His loss made me who I am today and I treasure that daily-it helped me realize that I had this need to help kids just like me. And I do-working with troubled kids has helped me realize what I do have in life and remind me to love that as well. Volunteering helped me as well...and yeah that 10 year mark really hurt. I can still remember falling apart and willingly calling my mom crying and really upset...but it was also a turning point-after that we finally talked about him and that made the hurt alot less when we were willing to be a family again.
Stay Strong. ~Lil
Reply
There are some days I'm truly happy. And I know that's all my dad would have wanted for me. And that's what I think about on those difficult days when I think too much and cry too hard.
Exactly. These are the feelings we need to keep hold of.
Thank you for the quote too.
Reply
If I get too sad I just remember that my life could be worse-it helps working with kids that are worse off than even I was at their age...I also force myself to remember he'd be proud of me and what I've worked hard to accomplish. And thinking of his reaction makes me smile more than cry. I hold onto that and my memory of him on those rough days.
I also speak to him (not in a crazy way) about my decisions and imagine he's there wherever the dead go listening and sometimes just laughing at me over some of my life's events...making me feel like he's still there in some way helped alot when I was younger and no one understood.
The Collete quote has been a source of strength for me since he passed. I look at it alot whenever I'm depressed and realize that I'm not the only one that reacts to loss that way...it made me feel less alone in some sense.
Stay Strong ~Lil
Reply
Thank you for your story.
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