Iris' Life Update ca Feb 2011

[immodica]

[Originally posted on iris-impressions.comI find it hard to update regularly. Part of it is laziness, part of it is not knowing what to write about, but I think the biggest part is feeling like I don't have anything interesting to say, or that people won't be interested in what I have to say. I guess that's a problem of self-confidence. So what I'

Comments

[willowing]

i love it when you update big iris updates! :) really hearing your anxiety around the baby being a boy. i love how self aware you are on where this anxiety has come from. i think what will happen when he's born is that he'll be totally genderless to you and all he is to you is this amazing magical miracle which you'll want to protect with your life, boy, girl, transgendered, you won't give a blip anymore. :) but i get that won't really help with any anxiety now.

i'd love to see your new portrait art! :) big hugs. def gonna find time in march to talk on the phone! x

[immodica]

Yay thank you!

he'll be totally genderless to you

Yes I think so too. I have had some time to get used to it already and he's already like a person to me in a way. I think I have a lot of fear and worries around whether I can be close to and important to a boy, but just 'spending time with him' (as it were lol) and knowing he's himself helps a lot. Makes him feel mine, rather than other. If that makes sense at all!

Talk sooon! I enjoy our occasional emails in the meantime. xx

[mekare_enra]

Hey, I'm really excited that you decided to write a long blog post! I hope you decide to do more of these in the near future. In particular, I find your discussion of your experiences of being pregnant thus far just fascinating. You're the first person I know well who has actually opened up about these sorts of things whilst pregnant. I am so interested in the physical and emotional trials and joys involved in the whole experience, and can imagine feeling much the same as you about many of the things you've discussed here. For what it's worth, also, I have absolute faith that you're the kind of person who would be a fabulous mum to a baby of either gender. It might be outside of your comfort zone to raise a boy at first, but I am sure you'll adapt and be more than up to the challenge.

[immodica]

Thanks Emma! I will try and do this more often! Although I am not sure whether I will have much to talk about soon, I feel like I wrote a novel! Haha.

I'm glad to hear you found my insights interesting. I think you hear a lot about pregnancy as being wonderful and amazing, and about having a baby as being wonderful and amazing. And on the negative side you hear about the physical aspects of pregnancy and being busy & sleep deprived once the baby arrives, but I have found it hard to find much about the emotional aspects of it all. I guess it's not discussed so much or maybe people feel like they're not allowed to express those feelings for fear of being judged (because you're supposed to find everything amazing and wonderful hehe).

Thanks for your faith and encouragement about me being a mum!

[velvet_noise]

I really enjoyed reading a proper update from you too. I miss you on here but as I've found out myself, time and energy can be lacking (and I'm not even pregnant!) so I'll take what I can get :p

Although the bit about World of Warcraft confused me. It's English, but not as I know it. Gamer geeks and your strange lingo! *shakes fist*