it's a thing to live for
Panic fic, yo! \o/
Title: it's a thing to live for
Author: immortal_lights
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ryan discovered a small lake about a mile away from the cabin.
Disclaimer: This never happened and the characters in this fic own themselves.
Author's Notes: Much thanks to periculosa for beta-ing.
Ryan discovered a small lake about a mile away from the cabin. He had woken up feeling like he couldn’t breathe, like the air was crushing his lungs. The cabin had felt too small, like the walls were going to close in on him, and he’d needed to get away. He’s stumbled out the door, barely remembering to slip on sneakers, and walked until he came across the lake.
The water shimmered a shiny green under the sun, waves winking at him as he stared out into the open area. Ryan moved slowly through the tall grass that surrounded the lake, feeling dew and rainwater seep into his sneakers. He grimaced at the feeling of wetness soaking his feet, and didn’t stop moving as he tugged off his shoes and socks.
He almost missed it among the debris strewed along the sides of the lake, but he caught sight of a weary-looking wooden boat some feet away from him. When he got close enough to touch it, he crouched down to run his fingers up and down the worn, wet wood, careful of any splinters. The boat bottom was painted a sickly, pale yellow, and most of the paint had been scratched off. He thought about climbing into it, testing how much the aged boat could hold, when a hand clamped down on his shoulder. He let out an embarrassing yelp and whipped his head around to find Brendon standing behind him.
“Oh fuck,” Ryan breathed. He let go of the side of the boat when he realized his hands were clutching it tightly.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Brendon smiled sweetly, his hands clasped behind his back and his body swaying a bit.
Ryan rubbed his hands against his knees, trying to smooth away the red marks on his palms. “How’d you find me, anyway?”
“Oh, I followed you,” Brendon said nonchalantly. Ryan cocked an eyebrow at that. He hadn’t seen or heard anyone when he’d rushed out of the cabin.
“What, you like stalking people in your free time?” Ryan asked dryly.
Brendon grinned. “Only you, Ryan. Only you.”
“Uh huh.” Ryan nodded, turning his head back to the boat and continuing his inspection. Brendon fell to his knees to hook his arms around Ryan’s neck and peer over his shoulder. Ryan glanced at the ground, Brendon’s knees digging into the dirt and his toes wriggling in the grass. Ryan wondered if Brendon walked here barefoot. “You’re gonna get your jeans dirty.”
Brendon waves his hand dismissingly and Ryan only catches sight of it out of the corner of his eye. “Dude! We should go out on the lake!”
Ryan could practically feel Brendon’s sudden excitement through his back. “Uh, I don’t know. Doesn’t look like it could hold both of us.”
Brendon pushed Ryan forward and Ryan almost toppled into the boat, grabbing the side to catch his balance. “Psssh. Teenage girls weight more than you. Come on.”
Ryan wanted to protest that, not only is that a generalization, but that he really wasn’t actually that light. Brendon had already climbed in, saying impatiently, “Come on, come on. Push!”
Ryan only rolled his eyes, and started pushing the boat along the sandy ground, clambering in quickly as soon as the boat was in the water and carefully avoiding any unidentifiable substances growing on the wood.
Brendon produced an oar from under his seat and asked, “You wanna row?” Ryan caught sight of the slimy, green muck coating the oar, and shook his head no. Brendon shrugged and ran the oar through the water, one side and then the other and then again.
Ryan squinted out into the trees as he let the murky lake water rush through his fingers, trying to find something interesting to look at. He didn’t find anything, but he wasn’t disappointed. His eyes moved of their own accord toward Brendon, who was whistling and watching the oar move back and forth as he concentrated on moving the boat along the water. It’d been a while since Ryan had seen Brendon this calm and still. Huh, Ryan thinks offhandedly. Ryan wanted to lay back and relax, but there was no room and he didn’t want to lie down on the filthy wood, anyway.
He settled with just closing his eyes and facing his head toward the sky, listening to the whistles of the birds and Brendon, and watching the sun behind closed eyelids, glowing bright orange. The wind whips lightly at his face, but the sun is warm enough to counteract it and he smiles. If Ryan hadn’t been listening so intently to Brendon’s quiet whistling, he wouldn’t have noticed when it slowly died away, but he had and when he opened his eyes, the boat wasn’t moving anymore. Brendon was staring at him, eyes intent and almost questioning. Ryan opened his mouth, but didn’t know what he wanted to say.
There was an intense moment where white noise filled Ryan’s ears and Ryan saw nothing but Brendon’s hard gaze and quirked lips. And then a bug flew into his mouth and he started sputtering and spitting. He could hear Brendon laughing across from him, hearty and real, unlike, Ryan realized after his coughing fit was over, how he’d laughed for most of the time they‘ve spent in the mountains.
Brendon coughed a few times before straightening up and smiling widely at him. Ryan scowled before saying, “It wasn’t that funny, you know.”
Brendon’s smile brightened even more. “Oh, no, it totally was. You should’ve seen your face.”
Ryan was about to retort when Brendon’s eyes widened and he exclaimed, “Let’s go swimming!”
All Ryan had the time to say was, “Oh no you don’t,” and Brendon was pushing hard on one side of the boat, submerging the both of them in freezing water. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, barely stopping water from swarming his lungs. He opened his eyes once he was no longer in danger of dying and swam toward the sunlight. Ryan came up screaming, “Fuck you, you fucker! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!”
Brendon came up laughing the same way he had before, only even louder, and before he knew it, Ryan was joining him, water slopping into his mouth every time he bent his head forward. Their laughter died off soon enough and they were left breathless as they floated on their backs, facing the blue, blue sky. “Fucker,” Ryan muttered one more time before he closed his eyes again, and let the sun bathe his face in warmth and paint his eyelids orange once again. He was surprised to feel Brendon’s hand grapple at his just beneath the surface of the water, but not enough to open his eyes. His body felt warm from head to toe, even in the cold water, thanks to the sun and maybe something else. His bones and muscles felt like they were slowly melting beneath his skin, and the world felt distant and surreal behind his thin eyelids.
“Maybe we should get back.” Ryan heard Brendon’s regretful voice quite some time later and it felt soft and far away under the water. He didn’t want to, wouldn’t mind staying here forever if he could, but he could feel his fingers wrinkling and the wind picking up above him.
Ryan blinked his eyes open, realizing that he was smiling and that the sun was already hiding behind white, wispy clouds. Huh, Ryan thought.
Brendon was already trying to flip the boat back upright a few feet away from him when Ryan started swimming back to the boat. They managed get the boat upright together and they slowly climbed into it. Brendon offered the oar and Ryan shrugged, taking it. It wasn’t like he hadn’t just swum in the murkiest water he’d ever seen. Ryan slowly stroked the oar along the water, watching as they got closer to land. He didn’t realize he was shivering until Brendon rubbed his hand up and down Ryan’s arm and Ryan noticed that Brendon was shaking as well. Ryan offered Brendon a small smile and Brendon smiled back through chattering teeth.
They kissed before the boat reached land, Brendon’s head knocking lightly against the edge of the boat as Ryan pressed down on his body from above, lips pressed together, warm and wet. Ryan reached under Brendon, placing his palm on the middle of Brendon’s back, not firm enough to hold him up, but there in case Brendon needed something to lean on. Ryan’s hot, hot mouth soon smoothed over Brendon’s temple, his jaw, his neck, and Brendon didn’t feel so cold anymore.
“We-” Brendon grunted, “-should probably get out of here.”
Ryan glanced up at him and shrugged, his hands leaving Brendon’s body reluctantly as he sat back. “If you really wanna.”
“No, I mean, out of the woods. Out of the cabin. Back to, you know, civilization.” Brendon looked nervous, like Ryan was going to reprimand him. “I’m kinda going crazy.”
“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good,” Ryan said, a slow, but sure smile spreading across his face. Brendon’s grin was instant and brilliant, and he smacked a sloppy kiss on Ryan’s cheek. “Don’t want you getting any crazier than you already are, right?”
Brendon laughed, Ryan smiled and they both thought about home.
Title: it's a thing to live for
Author: immortal_lights
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ryan discovered a small lake about a mile away from the cabin.
Disclaimer: This never happened and the characters in this fic own themselves.
Author's Notes: Much thanks to periculosa for beta-ing.
Ryan discovered a small lake about a mile away from the cabin. He had woken up feeling like he couldn’t breathe, like the air was crushing his lungs. The cabin had felt too small, like the walls were going to close in on him, and he’d needed to get away. He’s stumbled out the door, barely remembering to slip on sneakers, and walked until he came across the lake.
The water shimmered a shiny green under the sun, waves winking at him as he stared out into the open area. Ryan moved slowly through the tall grass that surrounded the lake, feeling dew and rainwater seep into his sneakers. He grimaced at the feeling of wetness soaking his feet, and didn’t stop moving as he tugged off his shoes and socks.
He almost missed it among the debris strewed along the sides of the lake, but he caught sight of a weary-looking wooden boat some feet away from him. When he got close enough to touch it, he crouched down to run his fingers up and down the worn, wet wood, careful of any splinters. The boat bottom was painted a sickly, pale yellow, and most of the paint had been scratched off. He thought about climbing into it, testing how much the aged boat could hold, when a hand clamped down on his shoulder. He let out an embarrassing yelp and whipped his head around to find Brendon standing behind him.
“Oh fuck,” Ryan breathed. He let go of the side of the boat when he realized his hands were clutching it tightly.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Brendon smiled sweetly, his hands clasped behind his back and his body swaying a bit.
Ryan rubbed his hands against his knees, trying to smooth away the red marks on his palms. “How’d you find me, anyway?”
“Oh, I followed you,” Brendon said nonchalantly. Ryan cocked an eyebrow at that. He hadn’t seen or heard anyone when he’d rushed out of the cabin.
“What, you like stalking people in your free time?” Ryan asked dryly.
Brendon grinned. “Only you, Ryan. Only you.”
“Uh huh.” Ryan nodded, turning his head back to the boat and continuing his inspection. Brendon fell to his knees to hook his arms around Ryan’s neck and peer over his shoulder. Ryan glanced at the ground, Brendon’s knees digging into the dirt and his toes wriggling in the grass. Ryan wondered if Brendon walked here barefoot. “You’re gonna get your jeans dirty.”
Brendon waves his hand dismissingly and Ryan only catches sight of it out of the corner of his eye. “Dude! We should go out on the lake!”
Ryan could practically feel Brendon’s sudden excitement through his back. “Uh, I don’t know. Doesn’t look like it could hold both of us.”
Brendon pushed Ryan forward and Ryan almost toppled into the boat, grabbing the side to catch his balance. “Psssh. Teenage girls weight more than you. Come on.”
Ryan wanted to protest that, not only is that a generalization, but that he really wasn’t actually that light. Brendon had already climbed in, saying impatiently, “Come on, come on. Push!”
Ryan only rolled his eyes, and started pushing the boat along the sandy ground, clambering in quickly as soon as the boat was in the water and carefully avoiding any unidentifiable substances growing on the wood.
Brendon produced an oar from under his seat and asked, “You wanna row?” Ryan caught sight of the slimy, green muck coating the oar, and shook his head no. Brendon shrugged and ran the oar through the water, one side and then the other and then again.
Ryan squinted out into the trees as he let the murky lake water rush through his fingers, trying to find something interesting to look at. He didn’t find anything, but he wasn’t disappointed. His eyes moved of their own accord toward Brendon, who was whistling and watching the oar move back and forth as he concentrated on moving the boat along the water. It’d been a while since Ryan had seen Brendon this calm and still. Huh, Ryan thinks offhandedly. Ryan wanted to lay back and relax, but there was no room and he didn’t want to lie down on the filthy wood, anyway.
He settled with just closing his eyes and facing his head toward the sky, listening to the whistles of the birds and Brendon, and watching the sun behind closed eyelids, glowing bright orange. The wind whips lightly at his face, but the sun is warm enough to counteract it and he smiles. If Ryan hadn’t been listening so intently to Brendon’s quiet whistling, he wouldn’t have noticed when it slowly died away, but he had and when he opened his eyes, the boat wasn’t moving anymore. Brendon was staring at him, eyes intent and almost questioning. Ryan opened his mouth, but didn’t know what he wanted to say.
There was an intense moment where white noise filled Ryan’s ears and Ryan saw nothing but Brendon’s hard gaze and quirked lips. And then a bug flew into his mouth and he started sputtering and spitting. He could hear Brendon laughing across from him, hearty and real, unlike, Ryan realized after his coughing fit was over, how he’d laughed for most of the time they‘ve spent in the mountains.
Brendon coughed a few times before straightening up and smiling widely at him. Ryan scowled before saying, “It wasn’t that funny, you know.”
Brendon’s smile brightened even more. “Oh, no, it totally was. You should’ve seen your face.”
Ryan was about to retort when Brendon’s eyes widened and he exclaimed, “Let’s go swimming!”
All Ryan had the time to say was, “Oh no you don’t,” and Brendon was pushing hard on one side of the boat, submerging the both of them in freezing water. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, barely stopping water from swarming his lungs. He opened his eyes once he was no longer in danger of dying and swam toward the sunlight. Ryan came up screaming, “Fuck you, you fucker! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!”
Brendon came up laughing the same way he had before, only even louder, and before he knew it, Ryan was joining him, water slopping into his mouth every time he bent his head forward. Their laughter died off soon enough and they were left breathless as they floated on their backs, facing the blue, blue sky. “Fucker,” Ryan muttered one more time before he closed his eyes again, and let the sun bathe his face in warmth and paint his eyelids orange once again. He was surprised to feel Brendon’s hand grapple at his just beneath the surface of the water, but not enough to open his eyes. His body felt warm from head to toe, even in the cold water, thanks to the sun and maybe something else. His bones and muscles felt like they were slowly melting beneath his skin, and the world felt distant and surreal behind his thin eyelids.
“Maybe we should get back.” Ryan heard Brendon’s regretful voice quite some time later and it felt soft and far away under the water. He didn’t want to, wouldn’t mind staying here forever if he could, but he could feel his fingers wrinkling and the wind picking up above him.
Ryan blinked his eyes open, realizing that he was smiling and that the sun was already hiding behind white, wispy clouds. Huh, Ryan thought.
Brendon was already trying to flip the boat back upright a few feet away from him when Ryan started swimming back to the boat. They managed get the boat upright together and they slowly climbed into it. Brendon offered the oar and Ryan shrugged, taking it. It wasn’t like he hadn’t just swum in the murkiest water he’d ever seen. Ryan slowly stroked the oar along the water, watching as they got closer to land. He didn’t realize he was shivering until Brendon rubbed his hand up and down Ryan’s arm and Ryan noticed that Brendon was shaking as well. Ryan offered Brendon a small smile and Brendon smiled back through chattering teeth.
They kissed before the boat reached land, Brendon’s head knocking lightly against the edge of the boat as Ryan pressed down on his body from above, lips pressed together, warm and wet. Ryan reached under Brendon, placing his palm on the middle of Brendon’s back, not firm enough to hold him up, but there in case Brendon needed something to lean on. Ryan’s hot, hot mouth soon smoothed over Brendon’s temple, his jaw, his neck, and Brendon didn’t feel so cold anymore.
“We-” Brendon grunted, “-should probably get out of here.”
Ryan glanced up at him and shrugged, his hands leaving Brendon’s body reluctantly as he sat back. “If you really wanna.”
“No, I mean, out of the woods. Out of the cabin. Back to, you know, civilization.” Brendon looked nervous, like Ryan was going to reprimand him. “I’m kinda going crazy.”
“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good,” Ryan said, a slow, but sure smile spreading across his face. Brendon’s grin was instant and brilliant, and he smacked a sloppy kiss on Ryan’s cheek. “Don’t want you getting any crazier than you already are, right?”
Brendon laughed, Ryan smiled and they both thought about home.