(no subject)
so yeah another day in hell. i hate this i really do i hate people who think that they can do w/e the hell they want to you. really what do i look like? am i really that big of a slut? damn. well lets see what happpened to me. how bout we talk bout wednesday. yesh wednesday. well. wednesday and thursday the juniors are taking the ACTS. well we got out early and got moved around and stuff. so i ended up in the auditorium 2nd and 3rd period. well i have french 3 third. and i was sitting and miguel sat next to me. no problem. thing is he has like the hugest crush on me. well we were sitting and the movie came on. HP4. well he was like "the movie's starting so why don't we get started?" it was a joke.or so i thought. the boy went crazy on me. first thing he grabbed my hand and was holding it. i was like w/e. next thing i knew he had his hand on my thigh. my upper thigh. again w/e. so i put my hand on top of his. like w/e. no big right. then he started squeezing my thigh.again w.e. not that big of a problem. but he got a bit crazy. next thing i know my leg is on his and he's got both hands on my thigh and massaging it. i moved off him. seconds later he started touching my thigh again. i rolled my eyes. w.e. then he started to move his hand off my thigh to my lap. he put his hand in between my legs. i was like "miguel stop ok." he was like "oh." and he stopped. seconds later he did it again. i was like "miguel stop i have a gf." so he stopped. and then again. ugh. so i moved and was like "owie." cuz my tummy hurt. he was like "que paso?" i told him. so he put his hand on my tummy and rubbed it. i moved away in my seat. i figured he'd leave me be. cept then i started to doze off so i ended up laying my head on his shoulder. and he brought me back to reality cuz he said "yo gf is gonna get jealous." i was like "crap." so i moved again. but then he started with me again. i told him "please stop." he stopped but later started again. i'm not so good with guys n stuff and let them do what they want so this time i just let him. i was hoping a teacher would see. nope. no one. i was really uncomfortable. and he had his hand in between my legs and playing with me. i grabbed his other hand to make him stop. he did. and then he grabbed my hand and started to put it down his pants. i was freaked by then. so i pulled away and started laughing at harry potter and ron. for awhile he stopped cuz people were passing by in the aisles. but again he started. i also kept asking him questions so he'd leave me be,. but then he started again. this time he went over the top of my jeans. good thing i'm pudgy it took him awhile plus my jeans were tight. XP. but he put his hand in my jeans and underwears and got only as far as the bottom of my tummy and the top of my well you can only guess. i grabbed his hand away and then the bell rang. after that he was like "kristin what are you doing this period?" it was 4th and i have general business, and i told him. so he was like "kristin what are you doing after school?" i gave him some lame ass excuse bout my mom and shit. even though she's not ever home at that time. he was like "oh." then he started to follow me to class. i was like "fuck i gotta pee like hell!" so i found the nearest bathroom and ran in there. that's how i lost him. it was really bad. he really scared me. and he hurt me. well here's somthing else. me being the stupid slut i am acted a fool thrusday. we sat next to each other again and this time it was me messing with him. and he was like "oh so now you want to do it? like you can do it whenever you feel." i thought 'wtf? i didn't want you to touch me yesterday.' but i ended up playing with him. he in turn grabbed my leg and started to rub me there again. then he stopped and put his hand down my shirt and grabbed my chest. i fidgeted and he was like "it'll be better if we wait until after school." all i know is that i regret what i did yesterday. but he had no damn right to touch me like he did wednesday i didn't ask him too. it was just bad and i'm really hating myself right now. i really am. and since wednesday he's been a real ass to me. i told brian
-ex- what miguel did to me and he told me that if i don't deal with it then he will. so yeah i have to talk to him monday cuz i tried to today didn't work. i think that miguel is trying to pay me back in some way. seeing as he really likes me. and something about him scares me. like he wants to hurt me. he's never acted this way before. but one day awhile ago he told me that i shouldn't play with people because i'm hurting them. and i was like "wtf?" i didn't understand because i didn't know who i was hurting. or anything. and he was a mega ass before but he really is now.i think that maybe he wants to hurt me so i should probably talk to him and soon.i mean cuz he never used to do anything like that to me before. and i know that mary told him that i like to be touched which is a huge lie. because i don't. i'm just afraid that he wants to do something bad to me. real bad. so idk what to do. cuz when he was doin that to me he got like this weird look in his eyes. like to hurt me. and it was scary. i never ever expected that outta him. i really didn't. and today braian decided to choke me after english class. cuz we were fighting. and well i told miguel "miguel ayudame porfavor! ayudame!" he in turn got an evil look on his face and said with a laugh "sorry i'm staying outta this." and walked away. i felt nauseous. i really did. when he saw me being choked he looked like he was happy. like he was glad and that maybe i'd be killed. idk i'm just freaked. and need to be careful and quit doing stupid things. gah ima idiot.