[
dontbea_racist used with permission, and this has been a long time coming. Set in Can’t Stay Away.]
She wasn’t Ruby.
Well, she was Ruby. But she wasn’t his Ruby, the one that he had fallen for trusted. Then again, trusting that Ruby had gotten him into a shitload of trouble, and he wasn’t looking for that kind of trouble again. Dean was right. Demons couldn’t be trusted . Period, end statement. And yet, for some unforeseen reason, he was drawn to her. He could feel her out in the salvage yard and he wanted her to come closer. He wanted whatever bigger comfort she could offer him. He just didn’t want to be alone.
And now he was telling her all this. It was running off his tongue as they sat in one of the old junkers in the back of the salvage yard, and for some reason, he couldn’t stop himself. The words just ran over each other, one after the other. All the things he couldn’t say to Dean, all the things he thought he couldn’t say to her, but once he got started he couldn’t stop, and in the end, all she could really do was just sit there and listen.
“I just-I don’t know what to do, Ruby,” he said looking back over at her. He was a mess, and he knew it. There was the slow detox from whatever it was that he had done to himself, and the guilt that he was still doing his best to live with, and while he still didn’t know why he was turning to a demon, here he was. “I don’t know how to fix this, and make it right.”
And Ruby did what he expected her to do. She listened, and when he was done, she rested a hand on his shoulder lightly, before leaning in closer and sliding her arms around him. “We’ll figure it out, okay? We’ll figure it out.”
Sam closed his eyes and curled into her, taking the comfort where he could get it. It was wrong, and bad, and not what he should be doing, but in the end? He didn’t really feel like it was much of a choice.
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