whenever i go through a trial, it seems i follow a sort of cyclic wax-philosophical path. i take inventory of my life. so, i ended a relationship of 3 years. the girl i had a relationship with is amazing. beautiful, giving, caring, compassionate, all of those things people ascribe to wanting in their mate. the obvious question presents itself: why ( Read more... )

i thought it would be more of a fight. i wasn't even sure this was what i wanted today. but i guess reason served it's course, perhaps. it's ironic though... even when it came to ending the relationship, she was still catering to me. fucking christ ( Read more... )

It was a bit nerve wracking stepping into a foreign, third world country without knowing what I was getting myself into. I knew (and only fairly well) one person on the entire trip, while the rest accompanying us were a group of warm-hearted Irish Catholics from North Carolina. Since I want to join the Peace Corps, I found that this opportunity ( Read more... )

I'm losing Jaclyn and I can't help it. i can't do anything. I have to sit by and watch my life fall apart. I didn't want this - I didn't want the break up. Was my mistake really so horrendous that I will have to suffer for years to come? I just want her to love me again.

I don't know what to say but I feel like I'm dying.

The last entry I made was not truly how I feel. I am at the bad end of the emotions spectrum. But having this thrust upon me has brought about some forced realizations. I'm going to talk about them, but first I would like to say that I still very much care for and love Jaclyn and make it again clear that the bottom post was not how I feel. I want ( Read more... )

This has not been fun. For a while I've been battling with this tough decision and I finally made it - and I feel like the air has been knocked out of me. I'm 18 years old but I may have just lost the "one that got away".  At the same time, the relationship we had was not fair to Jaclyn. I wasn't as good of a boyfriend as she was girlfriend (she ( Read more... )

"I'm afraid, Marcy."

"Afraid of what, John?" She looked at me with a real sort of curiosity, which made the fear strengthen tenfold inside of me.

"Of the end. I never really understood why, either. I always thought I'd be OK - I mean, what's the harm in nothing?"

She paused and furrowed her brow, taking a long swig of her hot chocolate. The hum drum ( Read more... )

I walk around like I'm some sort of prodigy activist, a realist who will wake up the world and let it dwell and simmer on the evils it has created. Every day pain, depression, poverty, and death breed and infest the underbelly of society and even stretch at great lengths to reach the out-stretched limbs of humanity. It's not that I'm any better ( Read more... )

Apathy is a poison that eats away at the very fiber of society. We have become a society that is so immobile and so stagnant that we have forgoed our only source of inspiration - our ability to get up and do something. We have become a society drained of enthusiasm, we are quelled by the media, the sheer abundance of information available today ( Read more... )

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