Hello All~!
So I watched Harry Potter, and it was Eh. I wasn't too crazy about. I NEARLY cried at Snapes Death scene but the rest of the movie didn't really move me. I think they spent way too long on the Harry vs Voldemort fight scene. Molly vs Bela got really watered down and I wanted it to be as epic as it was in the books. Also, I think they should of showed the Weasley reunion and Fred dying. If they had showed that I think I would of actually burst in to tears.
It just seemed like the movie put the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable. The fight of Voldemort and Harry just rolling around with each other was too much, and Nevilles epic moment wasn't quite epic enough. Of course that was my complaint about the first movie as well.
Now, i didn't HATE it. I enjoyed it , really. it's just not my favorite potter movie. I think I liked 7 part one, and 5 a whole lot better.
I love the Malfoys though. How Narcissa's number one concern is her family. "Draco, come here. OKLOLOBYE".
Oh god, and that Flash forward scene at the end. None of the people looked quite old enough, did they? It was silly, a lot of people laughed in the theater, myself included. Poor Draco, fat and balding ;_; I was hoping Albus was gonna sit in the same car as Draco's kid. THE MALFOY, WEASLEY AND POTTER KIDS ARE MY OT3!!!
Now, Ive been seeing my therapist for two weeks now, and its been a great experience. I really enjoy talking to her, at first I was telling her about my family and past and she looked damn well near tears when I was telling her. At first I was like "what the fuuuuuccckkkk." Cause I am NOT used nor do I like having people feel bad for me AT ALL. But then with further talking to her it seems that yes, I was kind of abused as a kid. So in my head I was just like '... Oh. Okay, she really does feel bad for me, cause what I grew up in was fucked up. Okay. ... Okay." It was a sort of acceptance on my part.
The more we talk the more it became clear to me that I sabotage myself cause I don't think im good enough, and Im scared that what my mom has been telling me for years is true. That I'll fail, that I'll screw up and that I can't do it on my own. It was kind of eye opening , Im depressed because I can't get things done. I can't get things done because im depressed. Im stuck in this constant state of lethargy because shit is weighing me down.
The problem is I AM good at stuff ! Im not totally happy with my heart but it isn't necessarily bad. that has even become a burden for me to do. I don't draw nearly as much as I used to and I hate that. Drawing used to be my life. And I got my job at Bunkerhill because im good and people like me. I mean Lenora was the one to name drop me in there but it was ALL ME who went in there and impressed the pants off the Joe and Larry.
My Boss from Comicazi recommended me to a friend of his that owns a flower shop to work there, and I was scared to even call the guy cause Alas, I don't think im good enough. There is still so much I need to learn. And how am I suppose to tell Bob that? I was so ashamed. Yet finally i called Greg and I have an interview on Tuesday to come in and meet them, and I talked to Bob about it and explained how i was really scared and how I psyche myself out. he was really understanding and assured me "Izzy, I wouldn't of recommended you if I didn't think you could do this job. I've been through a lot of shit in my life time, when things get bad you need to talk to people. You need to let people help you." It was relieving to hear him say that.
So why am I telling you this entire sob story? Because, the end result.
I'm moving out.
I'm pretty sure Im getting the job in Newton along with my Bunker hill job which means Im going to be making enough money to live on my own. It won't be a lot , sure , but its going to be enough. I need to be an adult and take responsibility for my actions and who I am. Control my money, live my own life. College is suppose to be the time when you discover who you are , explore and develop in to the adult you want to be. I never GOT that chance because I was smothered by my parents and doing everything according to their schedule. I never got to go out late and when I did I was chastised by my mother. She digs her claws in to me so she can have control over me still and I can't let that happen any more. I need to get the fuck out.
So I talked to Rob and Alex, Im moving in with them. The three of us have been finding apartments on craigslist. Im in the talks with one place near Tufts and we're checking out a place near sullivan on Wednesday. (If when I leave I need to bring Tober with me, so at least the dogs won't bark as much and piss off my parents.) I'm gonna be living with these two guys. Im so fucking terrified, but I need to do this so im jumping in to the deep end . lets hope it ends well. D8 Im scared, yeah, but its time to get the fuck on with your life, Isabella. Let's do this.
There was a place off Highland ave, about a mile from Davis that looks promising. $2250 a month, four bed rooms, bright and sunny the basement has coin laundry. It's promising as well, the problem is we'd need a fourth to get this place. Anyone interested?
Also I took my cat outside in the yard for the first time evah. Sheeee fuckin' looooved iiitt.
It just seemed like the movie put the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable. The fight of Voldemort and Harry just rolling around with each other was too much, and Nevilles epic moment wasn't quite epic enough. Of course that was my complaint about the first movie as well.
Now, i didn't HATE it. I enjoyed it , really. it's just not my favorite potter movie. I think I liked 7 part one, and 5 a whole lot better.
I love the Malfoys though. How Narcissa's number one concern is her family. "Draco, come here. OKLOLOBYE".
Oh god, and that Flash forward scene at the end. None of the people looked quite old enough, did they? It was silly, a lot of people laughed in the theater, myself included. Poor Draco, fat and balding ;_; I was hoping Albus was gonna sit in the same car as Draco's kid. THE MALFOY, WEASLEY AND POTTER KIDS ARE MY OT3!!!
Now, Ive been seeing my therapist for two weeks now, and its been a great experience. I really enjoy talking to her, at first I was telling her about my family and past and she looked damn well near tears when I was telling her. At first I was like "what the fuuuuuccckkkk." Cause I am NOT used nor do I like having people feel bad for me AT ALL. But then with further talking to her it seems that yes, I was kind of abused as a kid. So in my head I was just like '... Oh. Okay, she really does feel bad for me, cause what I grew up in was fucked up. Okay. ... Okay." It was a sort of acceptance on my part.
The more we talk the more it became clear to me that I sabotage myself cause I don't think im good enough, and Im scared that what my mom has been telling me for years is true. That I'll fail, that I'll screw up and that I can't do it on my own. It was kind of eye opening , Im depressed because I can't get things done. I can't get things done because im depressed. Im stuck in this constant state of lethargy because shit is weighing me down.
The problem is I AM good at stuff ! Im not totally happy with my heart but it isn't necessarily bad. that has even become a burden for me to do. I don't draw nearly as much as I used to and I hate that. Drawing used to be my life. And I got my job at Bunkerhill because im good and people like me. I mean Lenora was the one to name drop me in there but it was ALL ME who went in there and impressed the pants off the Joe and Larry.
My Boss from Comicazi recommended me to a friend of his that owns a flower shop to work there, and I was scared to even call the guy cause Alas, I don't think im good enough. There is still so much I need to learn. And how am I suppose to tell Bob that? I was so ashamed. Yet finally i called Greg and I have an interview on Tuesday to come in and meet them, and I talked to Bob about it and explained how i was really scared and how I psyche myself out. he was really understanding and assured me "Izzy, I wouldn't of recommended you if I didn't think you could do this job. I've been through a lot of shit in my life time, when things get bad you need to talk to people. You need to let people help you." It was relieving to hear him say that.
So why am I telling you this entire sob story? Because, the end result.
I'm moving out.
I'm pretty sure Im getting the job in Newton along with my Bunker hill job which means Im going to be making enough money to live on my own. It won't be a lot , sure , but its going to be enough. I need to be an adult and take responsibility for my actions and who I am. Control my money, live my own life. College is suppose to be the time when you discover who you are , explore and develop in to the adult you want to be. I never GOT that chance because I was smothered by my parents and doing everything according to their schedule. I never got to go out late and when I did I was chastised by my mother. She digs her claws in to me so she can have control over me still and I can't let that happen any more. I need to get the fuck out.
So I talked to Rob and Alex, Im moving in with them. The three of us have been finding apartments on craigslist. Im in the talks with one place near Tufts and we're checking out a place near sullivan on Wednesday. (If when I leave I need to bring Tober with me, so at least the dogs won't bark as much and piss off my parents.) I'm gonna be living with these two guys. Im so fucking terrified, but I need to do this so im jumping in to the deep end . lets hope it ends well. D8 Im scared, yeah, but its time to get the fuck on with your life, Isabella. Let's do this.
There was a place off Highland ave, about a mile from Davis that looks promising. $2250 a month, four bed rooms, bright and sunny the basement has coin laundry. It's promising as well, the problem is we'd need a fourth to get this place. Anyone interested?
Also I took my cat outside in the yard for the first time evah. Sheeee fuckin' looooved iiitt.