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In 4.19 John, Dean, and Sam made decisions that were well-intentioned by imperfect, that were driven by both pure and selfish emotions, and all wanted to do the right thing even though they disagreed on what that was exactly. In a season about Heaven and Hell, 4.19 was an episode that revealed just how human those Winchester boys are...
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Hmm, interesting point, yes. I can see how this event might well have made him question his own decisions, too.
Why should Adam get both the white-picket-fence childhood and a place in the family business without going through the trials and horrors he and Sam did?
I hadn't thought about how he might be thinking Adam could "have it all" since it never occurred to me Adam might actually start to hunt. Also, although I can understand his jealousy of the "quality" time John spent with Adam, really, the piece he got of him was so small, I think Dean would have realized that in time. But I can see Dean with these immediate thoughts, yes.
He’d had a lifetime of having little-to-no control over his life thanks to the protection of others; he could understand the need to try to take control ( ... )
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Dean's so insecure about his relationship with his family that Adam doing anything that has to do with hunting would feel like an outsider encroaching on his life.
Also, although I can understand his jealousy of the "quality" time John spent with Adam, really, the piece he got of him was so small, I think Dean would have realized that in time.
I don't think it's so much how big a piece of John Adam got but what piece it was; namely the "good father" John, who took his kid fishing and to baseball games, and sheltered him from even knowing about monsters rather than "military leader" John who took Dean shooting, put the responsibility of caring for his little brother on him, and introduced him to the world of monsters at such a young age.
I like the way you put that about his own feelings about control and protection, and how he projected that onto Adam.Who knows more about being an overprotected ( ... )
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it must have been a cathartic experience for him, a way of proving to himself that he did have what it took to be a normal and loving father
Yeah, and now you say that I wonder how much was out of that sense of regret and guilt you reference, as well as a desire to justify himself after his blowout with Sam. "See, I am a good father."
However, Adam’s lack of knowledge of all things supernatural and the boys’ lack of knowledge about Adam ended up killing or endangering each one of John Winchester’s sons:
Huh. Interesting point.
there was him learning the lesson of watching Sam lose his innocence over the past few years and not wanting to revisit that on another innocent; Huh, so that means that just as Sam has lost hope that doing the right thing will be effective in protecting those he loves, Dean, too, has given up hope that it is possible to protect someone's innocence when you bring them into contact ( ... )
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I was thinking, then, that John probably felt that the actions he took were justified, righteous, even
John definitely never questioned whether or not killing the ghoul was justified, but I think it was also ties into his belief that he made everything in Windom all right.
Sam shares this same mindset: if I hunt enough, if I find and kill what did this, if I sacrifice enough I can make everything okay. I think a big part of the reason why John never settled down anywhere - like Pastor Jim, Bobby, and Bill Harvelle did - was because he thought he could kill the YED and then he and his family could go back to having a normal life. That trait is more pronounced than ever in Sam and his hunt for Lilith, but it's certainly not new: he believed his life would go back to what it had been once the YED was dead in Shadow, that he could balance out his destiny by saving people in Playthings, and somehow get Dean out of ( ... )
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