(no subject)
The Adventures of Meghan, Sam, Stacy, and Hannah
By: Stacy and Meghan
One blossoming day in chem. Class Stacy and Sam were playing with matches. “Ah! There’s a monster in the bathroom!” someone cried. Sam and Stacy ran out into the hallway where they saw Meghan. (and away goes the moose!)
“Hurry Up!” she exclaimed. So they all went down the hall to the bathroom. When they opened the door they were face to face with…
A purple people eater! The purple people eater was very purple and had one eye and looked to be very fuzzy. Stacy jumped back into her surfer pose and yelled “I’m gonna get youuuuuuu!” and she charged the purple people eater while Meghan and Sam screamed in horror! They watched as Stacy punched, kicked, bit,licked,poked, tickled, and teased the purple monster.
Suddenly outta nowhere there came a loud thud. Stacy whilred around to see what had happened and…
A giant chapsitck barged through the door! This wasn’t any ordinary chapstick though. It had two large irregular eyes, complete with eyelashes. The chapstick also had funny looking arms and legs. “Please don’t hurt my friend” the chapstick said. “Who the bloody ‘ell are youuu?” asked the Sam in her British accent. “I am the mighty chapstick! Because your friend attacked the respected purple people eater of Whitehall-Robins Health Care. I will have to imprison her”.
“THAT’S NOT FAIR!” Meghan piped up. “It was only self defense!”
The chapstick replied “That will be for the court of heffalumps to decided. Off we go!”
In the blink of an eye, the injured purple people eater, Sam, Meghan, Stacy and the chapstick were transported to a different world. Their feet landed on soft squishy ground made of…..
Marshamallows. “Here we are! Lets go! Move it!” said the giant chapstick. (I snorted. Heh..*snort*)
Meghan & Sam were chained together with giant magical fruit loops (linked together of course) and the “injured” purple people eater and Stacy were handcuffed to the giant chapstick by donuts. (Charlie and the chocolate faftory…yes..i said faftory.) This world of sweets seemed to be a little odd to Sam and Meghan. “Handcuffs made out of donuts and fruit loops, floor made of marshamallows, windows made of graham crackers…..where are we?” asked Sam. “Well if we were in our NORMAL minds… would say Candyland, but I really don’t know. Hey!” (*whispers*) “maybe we can eat our way our of these handcuffs” responded Meghan. So they went to work. First Sam, and then Meghan tried. But…alas..it did not work. “Crap! What are we going to do?!” whailed the Sam. But just as she said that, they reached two giant brownie doors.
The chapstick opened the doors and when they stepped inside, they saw…
A room that stretched as far as the eye can see. The walls and floor were made out of pure golden chocolate (mm….chocolate…) when Sam and Meghan walked in, the chapstick shut and locked the brownie doors behind them. “What? Why did he leave us alone in this room?” ask Meghan. “What are we supposed to do?” “WALK ONWARD!!” a booming voice declared. Trembling, Meghan and Sam obeyed, seeing no other option. After many paces they eyed before them…
A statue of Abraham Lincoln…only..he was made out of jello. Green jello to be exact. Sam and Meghan looked at each other… “What the crap?!” said Meghan. “ “I don’t know…” replied the dazed and confused Sam. “KEEP WALKING!” boomed the voice. “What? Where do we walk?” cried Sam. “There’s no where else to go!” said Meghan.
“GO AROUND SMARTIES.” said the voice. So still being chained together they walked around Lincoln. “I wonder what the giant chapstick is doing to Stacy…he didn’t shove her in the room with us. I hope shes ok.” said Sam. “Me too. He better not hurt her.” Cried Meghan.
Meanwhile….back outside the giant brownie doors Stacy, the purple people eater and the chapstick turned around and started walking. “Where are we going?” asked Stacy…
“Your question will be answered soon enough” replied the chapstick. They walked down a huge corridor made out of graham crackers and stopped when they came to a big red licorice whip “ V” on the ground. “Walk there!” commanded the chapstick. (boink a chapstick) (second snort) Stacy said “Oh yea…like that’s gonna happen. I know this trick. There’s gonna be a trap door underneath this “V”. What a lame tri----. Stacy was then pushed on the spot..when sure enough the floor opened up. Stacy went sliding down a dark tunnel having no idea if the slide would ever come to a stop.
*Pa-Glunk* she landed in some jelly like substance. “Where am I?” Stacy asked aloud. She poked the jelly goop and remarked on its lime green color. It was now light and she could see. Stacy looked around to see what was beyond this think jelly coating and saw two shapes that looked like…”Meghan! Sam!” she cried in exaltation.
They could not hear her so she screamed louder. Finally they stopped in their tracks and turned around. “Stacy!” they yelled in unison as they ran towards the jello Lincoln. “How are we going to get her out?” asked Sam. “I know!” responded Meghan. “We can…jump in with her! Not all the way in of course. Just far enough to pull her out of the jello.” “Good idea!” said the Sam,
So they both ran towards the jello Lincoln again. When they get there, Meghan steps into the jello with Stacy. Sam stays out to help pull them out. Unfortunately neither realized that the jello was really super jello. Once inside you could never get out! *gaspth!* “Sam! I’m stuck! I can’t move!” said Meghan. “Neither can I!” cried Stacy. *gaspth!* (again) “What shall we do?” whailed Sam.
Just then the voice spoke again. “ I SEE YOU HAVE DONE EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED YOU TO DO! NOW YOU ARE TRAPPED! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!” “Who are you!?” yelled Sam in frustration. “I AM THE KEEPER OF ALL HOTT GAY MEN!” replied the voice. “THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY FOR YOU THREE TO GET OUT. YOU MUST SEND ME THREE VERY HOTT GAY MEN.” “But…but…we only know one” exclaimed Sam. “ And we would never turn him over to you” said another voice. Just then Sam noticed Hannah walking toward them. “Hey guys! Look! Its Hannah!” “How did u get here?” asked Stacy. “Well….”
“Tom and I went ice skating. All I remember is that we were on the ice and everything was going great and the next thing I know is that the ice broke and we fell through the floor. We kept falling and falling and I ended up in this place. I have no idea what happened to my Tom. I miss Tom soo much.” “Oh man! That’s awful Hannah,” said Meghan. “We must find Tom!” “YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!” boomed the voice.
“Where are we going to get three hott gay men?
” asked Stacy. Hannah replied...”I have an idea…all we need is…” (didn’t see those dots coming up now did u?) “Some marshmallows, chocolate and vodka.” Replied Meghan. “Uh…. why?” asked Sam. “so we can do the gay man rain dance” replied Meghan. “How did you know that I was thinking that too?” asked Hannah “I am pathetelic” replied Meghan. “Uh…you mean telepathic?” asked Stacy. “Sure” said Meghan. *All laugh at Meghan’s blonde moment*
“Ok...so how do we do this gay man rain dance thingey?” (Well...Stacy just rolled on the floor..acting like a chicken with its head cut off....) “Well...we need to take the marshmallows between put them between our toes and dance in circles while eating chocolate. Then as soon as we are done chewing the chocolate we have to drink the vodka. But before we drink it we have to chant ‘ziggy zoggy ziggy zoggy oye oye oye bring me three very gay boys.’ And then we drink!” answered the Meghan and Hannah.
“Ok...now we have marshmallows and chocolate rite in this room. But we still need glasses and vodka. Where are we going to get that?” asked Stacy. Then suddenly in the far corner of the room…a strange thing appeared. …
A little turkey with a cart came out of nowhere. “Alkey-hal! Get your tasty Alkey-hol!” “Uh..do you sell vodka?” asked the Sam. “Vodka, of course I have vodka. Does a twinkie have a cream filling? Of course”. “four glasses please”.
“That will be eight yellow nicely golden carpet squares and three stepping stones. “ “What kinda of currency is that? Here,how about 8 dollars and 30 cents.” Said Stacy.
“WHAT?! I don’t want your crispy green papers and oddly shiny metals. No carpet and no stones mean no vodka. Good day.” replied the tiny turkey.
“Wait! I no a way that we can repay you that is better than any currency…”
“We can show you how to square dance!” cried Hannah. “Really?!” required the tiny turkey. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to do that.
“Ok, well its pretty easy.” Said Meghan. “All you gotta do is stand in a square with your partner.” *Hannah and Sam are partners. Stacy and Tiny Turkey are partners. * *they form a square* “Okay, now, swing your partner! That means link arm s and turn in a circle…” and on went the square dancing lesson* (*burp* goes the Meghan “scusie”)
“Wow…that was soooo much fun!” squeals the Tiny Turkey with glee “Here is your vodka hands girls vodka and glasses*
“Thank you Tiny Turkey!” cry the girls. And off goes the tiny turkey.
“Okay, ready girls?” asks Sam.
“Ready!” they respond enthusiastically.
“Marshmallows please” says Hannah.
They all shove marshmallows in their toe. “Okay, Lets dance!” Cries the Sam *dance in circles* “Eat the chocolate!” yells Stacy as she shoves the whole piece in her mouth. “Now! Vodka!” cried Hannah
“Ziggy zoggy ziggy,zoggy oye oye oye Bring us three very gay boys!” they all cry out and drink the vodka. As soon as they swallow 3 guys appear (sucse it)
“Marc!” “OMG!” Mike” “Woah!” “Who the hell are you?” are the random shouts that greet the men.
“Uh… I’m Ryan…who are you?”
“I’m Sam and these people are my lover (heh,) Meghan, my sex Stacy, and my mommy Hannah” (THE NAME GAME foe shizzle)
“Marc belongs to me and Sam” says Meghan.
“I see… wow you have one STRANGE family tree.” Says Ryan, “so why are we here?” asks Mike.
“Well, you see….”
“You need to go with the Keeper of Gay Men so we can escape…”
“Wait! Your using us to solve your own problems?? How selfish!” exclaimed Marc.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll come back when the Keeper is done with ya’s. responded Sam. (Badger,! Badger Badger Badger Badger! Mushroom! Mushroom! Snake! It’s a Snake o0o0o0 its a Snake! )
Just then the keeper’s voice boomed: “NO! THEY’RE ALL MINE! NOW AND FOREVER! (WHEEEEE! LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!…)”
Suddenly a ginormous red twizler with a hole in the middle sucked up Mike, Marc, and Ryan into the sky.
“How are we supposed to get them back?” asked Meghan.
“Ugh” said Sam. “why do we have to keep saving everyone?? Can’t they save themselves?” (Marc rhymes with cheese doodle..mmm.yup.)
“I think we should go somewhere private lets go….
So, off they went. All following Sam. “Ok, now. I bet there’s a room on the other side of the door.” Said Stacy. “Yea! Lets try and open it!” said Hannah.
So, they tried pushing, they tried pulling, they tried kicking, & biting, & punching. But the door wouldn’t budge. Just then. Someone says “Try the door knob. Smart ones.” They all jump (for it scared them) and turn around. “OMG! Its tom!” exclaimed Sam
*Hannah runs to Tom* “Where were u? I got here and when I looked around you weren’t here!” “But then she found us!” said Meghan. “And she helped us bring three very hott gay boys to the keeper of all hott gay men. But he took them and didn’t let us go (or them) like he was supposed to.” finished Stacy. (Stacy wears bandanas with clips..and has GEL in her hair. )
“Woah”. Was all Tom said. “So, did you try the knob? It was very amusing watching you try to bite the door.” said Tom. “No, not yet.” Replied Sam. “Well lets try then!” exclaimed Stacy. “ok…Tom, you’re the man, you open it. Beast before beauty.” Hannah told him.
“Okkk…here we gooooo!!!” exclaimed Tom. He turned the handle and amazingly the door opened. When he looked inside he saw….
A giant jewel encrusted lolly pop. Out of two doors at the end of the room, little sour gummie bears came out wearing rainbow lolly pop dresses and tap shoes. Before Stacy Meghan Sam Hannah and Tom had the chance to say anything, the bears broke out into a little song.
“We are the mighty bears
Instead of fur,
We have gummy hair. “…..
And one by one, the 5 humans became entranced by the song of the gummy bear. Unable to move, unable to speak, they stood at the door way….
As the song ended, they snapped out of it. But they were still under the gummy bears spell. In a high pitched voice, the head gummy bear piped up “come with us!” so…they all followed the gummy bears. The gummy bears led them to an open court room. In the middle of a meadow..only..inside a building made out of glass. In the middle of the court room, sat 12 dignified heffalumps. “YOU HAVE COMMITTED A SERIOUS CRIME AGAINST MY PURPLE PEOPLE EATER!!!!” cried one heffalump. (I like tater tots..heh heh!)
“Omg..that’s the loud voice that we kept hearing!” Sam said to Tom. “Ooh man. What are we going to do???” asked Stacy.
“Because you have decided to hurt my purple people eater, I will rip off you ears as punishment.“ “NO!” exclaimed Hannah. “NOT MY EARS!” yelled out Meghan.
Just then, they all felt the ground start to shake. “Uh oh…earth quake!” cried the smallest heffalump!…
“Meghan, wake up….come dear..your gonna be late for school.!” “Yea yea..mom…5 more minutes!” “no…noooow…”
*Meghan wakes up and thinks * “Woah..that was a really strange dream….”
“How did I get this green jello goopy stuff on my shirt though? And why are there fruit loops on my fingers?” (the first queer santy clause wore red leather chaps and a pair of white shorty shorts with a hole in the back. )
THE END.