your heart is an empty room
Title: your heart is an empty room
Characters: Serena/Dan; mentions of Lily/Rufus
Rating/Word Count: pg-13/772
One-Line Excerpt:It ends, it begins, the result is never really a happy one.
Notes: written for challenge 007 at burnthe_city
….
The first time he meets her, he can hardly breathe.
His breath catches deep inside his throat.
(Blonde messy strands, a too short sequined cocktail dress, an easy smile)
How cliché, she takes his breath away. It's like a horrible cheesy version of one of those paperback romance novels of the shirtless totally ripped assholes that Allison keeps hidden under her bed.
It's only natural for the lonely boy to fall in love with the beautiful girl.
(She's too beautiful,) he thinks, watches her spin around the room, hands raised in the air, her dress hiking up further and further.
It's only natural for him to go home after breathing in that Manhattan air and think about her.
(it's a drug-like substance, so very different then the air in Brooklyn)
Normal boys his age would hold themselves up in the bathroom, lock the door, close their eyes, unbutton their jeans. They'd hold themselves in their hands and think of that dress riding up, and finally being able to see that thin sliver of her underwear. They'd thrust into their hands, imagine their name being sung from her perfect mouth. Normal boys would whisper: “Serena,” as they come.
Lonely boys go home and drink black coffee, open up a notebook, and write line upon line of prose about the blonde bombshell.
10.08.05
Lonely boys and normal boys are one in the same.
How easy it is to fall in lust love.
…..
He meets her again, and she smiles.
He's done for.
Again, again, again.
“So you'll pick me up at eight?”
Oh, sweetheart, of course he is.
…..
She's always running.
Here and there and everywhere in between.
She runs towards fires that burn and runs away from the one she sets.
Naïve, sixteen, nothing ever changes.
He looks at her, hands intertwined, and her heart doesn't skip a beat.
….
“He's different. “
The word tastes funny, like sour milk. She tells Eric again and again. He's different.
As if that'll make a difference.
She thinks she's changed.
I'm different now...
….
If his life was a novel and he got to write it, it would go a little something like this:
Once he got the chance with the girl of his dreams, they'd fall madly in love. (Check.)
Everyone would try to tell the girl that they weren't meant to be, she wouldn't bother to listen. (Check.)
They'd fall apart and mend back together, stronger than ever. (Check.)
Happily ever after. (Uncheck.)
He's waiting for the end or the beginning or whatever.
He says things like forever and always and tries so hard to make it work.
I need to know why you love me.
He tells her, watches the doubt melt off her face.
“And I love you,”
It's enough.
She's Serena van der Woodsen.
You and me are forever.
….
What she wants most in the world is to be nothing like her mother.
She thinks Dan and who she is with him is making sure that she'll never be like Lily.
Dan is writing the story.
Turns out that story's all ready happened many years before them.
Turns out Serena and Lily are two peas in a pod.
Only Lily knows how this story will end.
(She ends up alone. Sent away with a big pregnant belly, and the words Rufus and Allison dancing in her head. She gives birth alone. A boy with his eyes. Gives him away. Alone is such a lonely place)
When Serena was little girl, her mother told her a story.
The moral was: love makes you a victim and never a victor.
Serena never forgot it.
Ran away from it at all costs.
Sometimes she wonders, how she manages to keep her feet planted on the ground.
…..
Eventually he runs out of pages in his notebook.
Eventually her feet start to hum.
I love you.
….
It ends, it begins, the result is never really a happy one.
…...
He thinks about her when it snows.
Thinks about the Christmas they spent together.
Years later he publishes a novel.
She calls him when it comes to print.
He calls her in the summer he finds out shes engaged.
Mails his spiral bound notebooks to her as a wedding present.
She wonders why he's surprised that she ends up at his door.
….
The heart was a funny place.
Love was never simple. Although, it seemed as if always should have been.
Dan had loved Serena.
Serena had loved Dan.
Because you and I are forever...
Fin.