(Untitled)

[in_parentheses]

ETA: I am stupidI have been "looking for a house" for six years now. Somerville is the longest relationship of my life by almost six years, and I knew by the two-year mark that I wanted to get married. Unfortunately, the ring is too damn expensive and the wedding is too damn expensive and I'm going to be the mistress with no legal claim forever

Comments

[mayica]

I'm seconding what hilariarex said. Right now, pre-approvals (and approvals) are incredibly restrictive; that's almost certainly to lighten up somewhat in the future.

Do you know what you'd be comfortable paying, each month, and how that compares to the monthly payments (including insurance and taxes!) on a $260k house? If you think you could manage the payments, then I wouldn't be at all surprised if, in a while, the mortgage market got a little more sane, and they'll come to agree with you.

If the payments are comparable to what you're currently paying in rent, you might try getting pre-approved with a local bank that doesn't sell their mortgages -- something I've heard about I think Cambridge Trust -- and see if there's any way you could talk with a loan officer, after getting the pre-approval letter, and try making a case for your track record of making a similar sized monthly payment. Given the financial climate, it's a long shot, but it has an outside chance of working?

[in_parentheses]

Here's the thing: to the banks, I'm currently paying $700 a month in rent and would be paying more than twice that for a mortgage. That looks OMG terrible to them -- and frankly, does to me, too. I don't actually want to spend half my salary on my mortgage.

Which is why I'd get a damn roommate, same as I have now. But banks don't take that into consideration, since the roommate isn't on the mortgage.

[randysmith]

I have this vague memory that when cindy_lu bought her last house, she did indeed get the banks to include rental income by saying "Look, I have this roommate, he's sitting right here next to me, and he's moving with me--he paid me rent last time, and he's going to pay me rent in the new house." So it might not be completely impossible. (Yes, different situations in that she already owned and was renting, but same idea.)

OTOH, I presume you did some out of the box brainstorming with Rona, and she's much better at knowing what is possible (now, past, and future) in the housing market than I do. So if that resulted in no joy, then there's probably no joy :-{.

[in_parentheses]

Yeah, her response was, "Come back when a rich man falls in love with you. ;-)" Which she meant to be nice, and didn't know that it was the worst possible thing for me to hear. Oh, well.

[perich]

(1) Somerville is a really expensive city to live in.

(2) Don't give up, though!

(3) One more year and it becomes a common-law marriage, so you're all set.

[in_parentheses]

1. Yeah, no shit. If I'd fallen in love with Pittsburgh, I would not be having this problem.

3. Heh. Wouldn't it be awesome if it was like homesteading? "Congratulations, you've been a productive, taxpaying, voting, local-buying member of our community for 10 years! Here, have a house!"

[in_parentheses]

Thanks. :)

I know I'm not a failure, really. Day-to-day I'm very happy with my life, and that's HUGE. But it's a young person's life, and I'm not going to be that forever. I'm at this cusp where most of my friends are getting engaged, getting married, having kids, buying houses in the 'burbs... I worry that it won't be that long before I look around and feel like everybody's left me behind, and nothing in my life has changed or will change.

Third-life crisis, I guess. :P

[dpg178]

I'm sorry about the suckage. And Rona is way cool! One question on the love affair with Somerville though -- will you still love it as much when your friends have finished getting married and buying houses in the 'burbs? Or will you feel abandoned in that previous stage of life? I guess another way of asking the same question is: Are you in love with Somerville itself, or with the community you established there?

I found that sometime around when I turned 30, my Somerville community mostly decamped to Newton and Needham. When we returned to this area from DC, we followed, because what we cared about was the community, not the town itself.

[in_parentheses]

It's a valid question. There are a few answers:

1. Yes, I am very much in love with Camberville itself, and part of that is because it is full of My People. Even if they aren't people I know yet, they're the sort of people I want to know. I can't say that for most of the 'burbs.

2. I can't imagine ever owning a car again.

3. I think I have enough friends who feel the way I do about #1 and/or #2 that my entire community won't head 'burb-wards. I hope I'm right about that, because if it turns out the things I love about living here are things only young people and me love, I really will be all alone.

[eeyorecol]

NOT A FAILURE. I am working on being ok with not having a house for my kid because OMG HOW CAN YOU HAVE A FAMILY AND NOT HAVE A HOUSE or be married to a lawyer and not have a house (hooray for school loans!)

I totally understand how much it sucks. Silly silver lining question: could you invest the money that you have now and perhaps grow it slightly to try again to buy in a couple of years?

[beah]

I very much suspect I would be in the exact same situation had I not married into real estate (mrf_arch already owned when we got engaged). I can think of nothing good or soothing to say about it, it just plain sucks. Wanna get ice cream to soothe our rage?