letter to Magnus [TR, item]

[inabmovie]

[The letter is one of several handwritten letters to Magnus, Henry, Kate, and his friend Danny from college, folded up in a sealed, unaddressed envelope of Sanctuary letterhead. The letter normally resides in Will's bottom desk drawer in his office at the Sanctuary and is only supposed to be opened in the event of his death. TR Will hadn't told

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[lastof_five]

Helen fought a constant battle with clutter in her hut, the natural tendency of any person to be spending much less time cleaning than on pleasurable pursuits and she'd taken out a chunk of Monday afternoon after her clinic shift to straighten things she'd just let slide in the past few days. Out of nostalgia, or perhaps a pathetic sentimentality, she had left Will's little pile of blankets relatively untouched since he'd moved out. Today, however, she thought maybe she'd fold them and that's when she found an envelope, tucked into Sanctuary stationery.

It was unmarked, so she opened it. Several sheets of paper fell out but the one on top was addressed to her and she read quietly for a few minutes, stunned at the words written there so plainly in Will's familiar scrawl.

He loved her. When she'd asked about his feelings after professing his own, he'd kept this from her and very nearly lied to keep her from knowing. It hurt, knowing Will felt the same way she did and didn't want to take those next steps but this letter was

[inabmovie]

"Yeah, sure. Hang on a sec." Will hadn't expected to see her; he'd finished his appointments, done laundry, and was putting it away when she got there, so there were piles of folded clothes everywhere. He was trying to make the effort to actually put things away, even if he didn't always quite get there. "Um, here, let me move this stuff." Pretty much every flat surface was covered in clothes, and he moved a folded pile off a chair so she could sit if she wanted. "What's up? Everything okay?"

[lastof_five]

Helen settled in the chair, crossing her legs and taking a deep breath to help shore up her own defenses and composure for what was likely to be a discussion fraught with difficult feelings and hard choices. She and Will hadn't had the easiest time on the island, not with her own headstrong desire to have him in a way he hadn't wanted to give.

Or perhaps he did, in a perfect world where there were no consequences.

"I found this," she said quietly, deciding not to beat around the bush and drawing the letter from her pocket. "I read it because it wasn't marked and I apologize deeply for that but..."

Helen drew in a shaky breath. "Why did you lie to me, Will? About your feelings? Do you not feel that way anymore?"

[inabmovie]

"What?"

He recognized the envelope immediately, though the last time he'd seen it, it had been in the bottom drawer of his desk at the Sanctary and no one even knew it was there. It definitely hadn't been with him when he came here.

Immediately, he went on the defensive, taking the envelope back, but not opening it. He didn't need to open it to know what was in it, because he'd written it--deeply personal messages that he only meant to be read if he was gone. But she'd obviously read it, and he was embarrassed and... inexplicably, hurt. "How did you get this?" he asked, instead of answering her questions.