Let's Do The Time Warp Again (Part 1/9)
Title: Let's Do The Time Warp Again (Part 1/9)
Author: inanawfulmess
Rating: PG
Length: 18,750
Spoilers: Season 1.
Summary: There's something going on between Lea and Dianna that could lead to Glee being canceled. Can Rachel and Quinn help them work it out in order to save their own existences?
Author's Note: Well, here's my entry for the gleefsbigbang . Special thanks goes to my wonderful beta, jo_eva and artist, insidethetimes . It gets a little crazy, but I hope you enjoy!
“Fellow Glee-Clubbers,” Rachel began, clearing her throat and stepping to the front of the room. “May I have your attention please? There is a matter of the utmost importance that we must discuss this instant.”
“Target is running a clearance sale on all of last season’s argyle apparel?” Kurt questioned disinterestedly, looking up from examining his nails only to share a fist-bump with Mercedes. The rest of the club snickered and Rachel blushed, looking down at the purple and yellow argyle sweater vest she had chosen that morning.
“Let her talk, guys,” Finn interrupted, shuffling from his seat to stand near Rachel at the front of the room. “I know sometimes she’s a little crazy and her ideas don’t always make sense, but she does have good ones sometimes, so we should just listen. Alright?” The rest of the kids nodded and quieted their laughter to at least pretend to listen to their teammate. “Rach,” Finn nodded, motioning for her to begin.
“Thank you, Finn. Now, as I was saying, the situation is dire. The world as we know it…” Rachel paused for effect, gaining the attention of her teammates and Mr. Schuester. Once everyone’s gaze was locked on hers, she began again, closing her eyes this time. “The world as we know it is about to end.”
Rachel opened her eyes and scanned the crowd for a reaction. Most of her teammates stared at her with their mouths open and eyes wide. Kurt still had his hands in a position to examine his nails, but had looked up bemusedly at Rachel. Brittany, of course, nodded, clearly believing every word. Rachel’s eyes lingered on Quinn the longest, who had one eyebrow raised and a slight smirk on her face.
“Seriously, Berry,” Puck interjected, breaking Rachel’s reverie. “You don’t really buy in to that 2012 shit, do you? It was just a stupid movie, the effects weren’t even that cool.” Mike and Matt nodded, mimicking explosions with their hands and voices while Santana just snickered.
“Yeah, Man-hands,” she agreed. “But if the world does end, I suppose at least I won’t have to see your face anymore.”
“That was not one of your best, Santana,” Rachel sighed, shaking her head. “Anyway, if any of you would have the common courtesy to let me finish, the world is about to end because the people in the real world realm, the ones who control us, are about to end us!” They all stared blankly. “Doesn’t anyone have something to say?” Rachel shot Mr. Schuester a look.
“Well, let’s at least hear her out, guys. Rachel is a teammate, and we need to support her. So, the floor is open.” He shrugged and clapped his hands together once. “Who would like to say something?”
Kurt raised his hand. “I’ve always known you were odd, but this is just certifiably insane.”
“Nuts!” Mercedes added.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve been mixing herbal remedies wrong or something,” Artie contributed, as Tina nodded along. “There’s no other explanation for your behavior.”
“Will there be aliens coming to take us away on their cute little spaceships?” Brittany wondered aloud.
Rachel rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. “As I’ve mentioned before,” Rachel began again, “I am indeed a little bit psychic. My powers did not come to me out of thin air, however. You see, my great-grandmother, on my daddy’s side, of course, was…” Rachel lowers her voice, glancing around the room. “She was special. She’s the one who discovered the ‘other realm’. She passed on the information about how we only exist in the character world, and we have people who look exactly like us carrying on with their own lives in the real world. I wouldn’t normally share this with you, Great-Grammy swore my daddy to secrecy and he only told me because I’m next in line in a powerful family, but as I’ve said, the consequences are dire. We could cease to exist!”
Mercedes eyed her skeptically. “Hold up a minute there, Hot Mama. You’re telling us that not only is your family ‘gifted’ with supernatural powers passed down from your great-grandmother, but that we all have evil twins out there somewhere too?”
“Not evil twins, per se, but essentially yes, Mercedes, that is precisely what I’m saying.”
“And we should believe you why, exactly?” Kurt clearly did not buy it, but wanted to appease Rachel to get her to stop sooner.
“I have proof! Artie, could you help me out for a second?”
Artie looked skeptically back at his friends, shaking his head to assure them he had no part in Rachel’s revelation.
“I need you to put your AV club knowledge to good use and hook up this projector so I can show everyone what I’ve found. Our lives, apparently, are not our lives at all. We are characters on a television show, and are all portrayed by actors and actresses.”
“So somewhere out there in this so-called real world, there’s a chick who looks exactly like you, Berry?” Puck asked, a curious smirk gracing his features.
“Yes, Noah, there is, although I would appreciate it if you could get your mind out of the gutter. As you are about to see when my slide show begins, I am, of course, portrayed by the beautiful and exceptionally talented Ms. Lea Michele.” Rachel paused to click her slideshow to a picture of the actress. “Ms. Michele is, much like I aspire to be, a star of screen and stage. She spent several years in a lead role in Broadway’s Spring Awakening and has what our creator, Ryan Murphy, has referred to as a ‘once in a generation’ voice that has been compared to the likes of Barbra Streisand herself!”
“Hey, that makes sense that she’d play you!” Finn cried out. “Since you’re beautiful and you know, super talented.”
“Gag me,” Quinn muttered quietly from the back row of risers, quiet enough only for Brittany and Santana to hear.
“I don’t think you’d like that very much,” Brittany replied, furrowing her eyebrows in concentration. “Santana and I tried that once, but it wasn’t that good because I couldn’t use my - “
Santana quickly clamped her hand over Brittany’s mouth to prevent the end of that sentence from reaching the ears of the rest of the club. “What Britt means is that you need to man up and get over Hudson. You screwed him over big time during Babygate, and he’s into that innocent little freak with the knee socks now. Face it, Q, you’re damaged goods, he’s not gonna take you back.”
“Screw you, Santana,” Quinn growled, turning in her chair to face away from the other two Cheerios and crossing her arms in front of her chest. She knew Santana was right, she didn’t honestly expect Finn to ever want anything to do with her again. For some reason though, she’d been unable to stop thinking about him lately. Even after so much time had passed (Beth would be celebrating a birthday in seventeen days, Quinn knew from the count she discretely kept in the corner of the pages of her planner), and while she had both her figure and her popularity back, she knew that Finn still harbored resentment toward her. They had moved on, grown up, she’d even venture to call them friends. But he wasn’t ever going to be interested in her in that way again, and she’s honestly not sure she could blame him. Even so, though, she couldn’t help the feelings that had been plaguing her as of late. Ever since he started carrying a torch for Berry, she’d been unable to watch the two of them together. His displays of affection toward her were just sickening, and Quinn could hardly stomach being in the same room as either one of them. Quinn was brought back to the present when she heard the object of her thoughts calling her name.
“Quinn!” Finn called quite loudly, giving her the impression that he must have been calling her for a while. “Will you please pay attention? Rach is trying to talk to you!”
“Sorry, Stubbles,” she bit out. She had been making an effort to be nicer to everyone, but it just hadn’t been working for her, not since she noticed Finn and Rachel getting back together. She realized she was probably just still mad at herself for ruining everything she had with Finn (and her whole life, really) but she couldn’t help taking it out on Rachel. She was practically asking for it with her animal sweaters and whatnot.
“As I was saying,” Rachel smiled sweetly, making Quinn want to slap the stupid expression off her face, “Quinn is played by the beautiful and talented Dianna Agron. She is one of the biggest and more popular names to come out of Glee, excluding, of course, Ms. Lea Michele, as her success has grown beyond the small screen and she has been equally revered on the silver screen. She also has been featured on a multitude of magazine’s ‘most beautiful’ lists.” Rachel smiled at the other girl once again, this time raising an eyebrow and giving her a quick wink.
Quinn blinked twice in an attempt to clear her mind. Had Rachel Berry just winked at her? This was getting a little weird. Quinn half-listened as Rachel continued her discussion of who each of the kids in the glee club was matched up to in the ‘real world’, or however it is that worked.
“And you, Artie,” Rachel said excitedly, “are portrayed by a young man by the name of Kevin McHale, and, get this!” Rachel clapped her hands excitedly in front of her face while jumping up and down a little bit. “He’s not in a wheelchair! He can dance! Isn’t that so cool?”
Artie looked a little hurt, but nodded anyway and Rachel excitedly continued through the rest of the Glee club, matching each participant up to his or her real world counterpart.
“I’m confused,” Brittany said finally.
“I think we all are, Britt,” Santana responded, patting Brittany’s leg. “Berry’s just being a drama queen or something, ignore her.”
“No, I get what she’s saying about the real world, it totally makes sense.” Everyone stared at her as she rose from her seat and stepped down off the risers, moving toward Rachel to look at the paperwork she had spread out on the piano. “It’s just, everything you showed us made it seem like the show is really popular. Why would they cancel it?”
“Oh! Thank you for reminding me, Brittany. I can’t believe I forgot to share that part. Lea Michele, despite her amazing talent and overwhelming beauty, seems to be in the midst of a contract dispute. She is, of course, the star of the show, and if she does not sign her contract the rest of the cast will be unable to carry the show without her. I completely feel for her, too, remember that one time I wanted to quit the glee club but felt bad leaving you all to suffer without me and my talent?”
“But why won’t she sign her contract?” Mercedes asked, ignoring Rachel’s comment. “Seems like this show would be making her a lot of money.”
“Well, nothing has been confirmed, mind you, but I’ve been doing quite a bit of research on that subject as well. There is one interesting internet community I’ve come across that has a very interesting theory.” Rachel stepped back to the computer and projected a website up onto the white board at the front of the room. “There are a group of people called “Achele Shippers - that is, people who believe in a relationship between Dianna Agron and Lea Michele,” she emphasized, “who seem to feel that the real world equivalents of Quinn and myself have either been involved in a relationship or have some sort of unresolved sexual tension that is making it difficult for them to work together.”
Puck sneered. “That’s hot.”
“While I must agree with you, Noah, it seems as though it may be a potential cause of our world coming to an end. In general, people seem to believe this theory to be preposterous, but in my research I’ve found it to be the most well thought-out and believable of the many speculations I’ve seen.”
“Someone who looks like Q would not be attracted to someone who looks like you, Berry,” Santana laughed.
“Well, Santana,” Rachel responded, quickly turning away from where her teammates were seated to hide the hurt on her face. “I am very sorry to hear you feel that way. Mr. Schuester, I believe I’ve monopolized enough of our time. I will do some more research and report back at tomorrow’s rehearsal. Shall we sing?”
Part 2
Author: inanawfulmess
Rating: PG
Length: 18,750
Spoilers: Season 1.
Summary: There's something going on between Lea and Dianna that could lead to Glee being canceled. Can Rachel and Quinn help them work it out in order to save their own existences?
Author's Note: Well, here's my entry for the gleefsbigbang . Special thanks goes to my wonderful beta, jo_eva and artist, insidethetimes . It gets a little crazy, but I hope you enjoy!
“Fellow Glee-Clubbers,” Rachel began, clearing her throat and stepping to the front of the room. “May I have your attention please? There is a matter of the utmost importance that we must discuss this instant.”
“Target is running a clearance sale on all of last season’s argyle apparel?” Kurt questioned disinterestedly, looking up from examining his nails only to share a fist-bump with Mercedes. The rest of the club snickered and Rachel blushed, looking down at the purple and yellow argyle sweater vest she had chosen that morning.
“Let her talk, guys,” Finn interrupted, shuffling from his seat to stand near Rachel at the front of the room. “I know sometimes she’s a little crazy and her ideas don’t always make sense, but she does have good ones sometimes, so we should just listen. Alright?” The rest of the kids nodded and quieted their laughter to at least pretend to listen to their teammate. “Rach,” Finn nodded, motioning for her to begin.
“Thank you, Finn. Now, as I was saying, the situation is dire. The world as we know it…” Rachel paused for effect, gaining the attention of her teammates and Mr. Schuester. Once everyone’s gaze was locked on hers, she began again, closing her eyes this time. “The world as we know it is about to end.”
Rachel opened her eyes and scanned the crowd for a reaction. Most of her teammates stared at her with their mouths open and eyes wide. Kurt still had his hands in a position to examine his nails, but had looked up bemusedly at Rachel. Brittany, of course, nodded, clearly believing every word. Rachel’s eyes lingered on Quinn the longest, who had one eyebrow raised and a slight smirk on her face.
“Seriously, Berry,” Puck interjected, breaking Rachel’s reverie. “You don’t really buy in to that 2012 shit, do you? It was just a stupid movie, the effects weren’t even that cool.” Mike and Matt nodded, mimicking explosions with their hands and voices while Santana just snickered.
“Yeah, Man-hands,” she agreed. “But if the world does end, I suppose at least I won’t have to see your face anymore.”
“That was not one of your best, Santana,” Rachel sighed, shaking her head. “Anyway, if any of you would have the common courtesy to let me finish, the world is about to end because the people in the real world realm, the ones who control us, are about to end us!” They all stared blankly. “Doesn’t anyone have something to say?” Rachel shot Mr. Schuester a look.
“Well, let’s at least hear her out, guys. Rachel is a teammate, and we need to support her. So, the floor is open.” He shrugged and clapped his hands together once. “Who would like to say something?”
Kurt raised his hand. “I’ve always known you were odd, but this is just certifiably insane.”
“Nuts!” Mercedes added.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve been mixing herbal remedies wrong or something,” Artie contributed, as Tina nodded along. “There’s no other explanation for your behavior.”
“Will there be aliens coming to take us away on their cute little spaceships?” Brittany wondered aloud.
Rachel rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. “As I’ve mentioned before,” Rachel began again, “I am indeed a little bit psychic. My powers did not come to me out of thin air, however. You see, my great-grandmother, on my daddy’s side, of course, was…” Rachel lowers her voice, glancing around the room. “She was special. She’s the one who discovered the ‘other realm’. She passed on the information about how we only exist in the character world, and we have people who look exactly like us carrying on with their own lives in the real world. I wouldn’t normally share this with you, Great-Grammy swore my daddy to secrecy and he only told me because I’m next in line in a powerful family, but as I’ve said, the consequences are dire. We could cease to exist!”
Mercedes eyed her skeptically. “Hold up a minute there, Hot Mama. You’re telling us that not only is your family ‘gifted’ with supernatural powers passed down from your great-grandmother, but that we all have evil twins out there somewhere too?”
“Not evil twins, per se, but essentially yes, Mercedes, that is precisely what I’m saying.”
“And we should believe you why, exactly?” Kurt clearly did not buy it, but wanted to appease Rachel to get her to stop sooner.
“I have proof! Artie, could you help me out for a second?”
Artie looked skeptically back at his friends, shaking his head to assure them he had no part in Rachel’s revelation.
“I need you to put your AV club knowledge to good use and hook up this projector so I can show everyone what I’ve found. Our lives, apparently, are not our lives at all. We are characters on a television show, and are all portrayed by actors and actresses.”
“So somewhere out there in this so-called real world, there’s a chick who looks exactly like you, Berry?” Puck asked, a curious smirk gracing his features.
“Yes, Noah, there is, although I would appreciate it if you could get your mind out of the gutter. As you are about to see when my slide show begins, I am, of course, portrayed by the beautiful and exceptionally talented Ms. Lea Michele.” Rachel paused to click her slideshow to a picture of the actress. “Ms. Michele is, much like I aspire to be, a star of screen and stage. She spent several years in a lead role in Broadway’s Spring Awakening and has what our creator, Ryan Murphy, has referred to as a ‘once in a generation’ voice that has been compared to the likes of Barbra Streisand herself!”
“Hey, that makes sense that she’d play you!” Finn cried out. “Since you’re beautiful and you know, super talented.”
“Gag me,” Quinn muttered quietly from the back row of risers, quiet enough only for Brittany and Santana to hear.
“I don’t think you’d like that very much,” Brittany replied, furrowing her eyebrows in concentration. “Santana and I tried that once, but it wasn’t that good because I couldn’t use my - “
Santana quickly clamped her hand over Brittany’s mouth to prevent the end of that sentence from reaching the ears of the rest of the club. “What Britt means is that you need to man up and get over Hudson. You screwed him over big time during Babygate, and he’s into that innocent little freak with the knee socks now. Face it, Q, you’re damaged goods, he’s not gonna take you back.”
“Screw you, Santana,” Quinn growled, turning in her chair to face away from the other two Cheerios and crossing her arms in front of her chest. She knew Santana was right, she didn’t honestly expect Finn to ever want anything to do with her again. For some reason though, she’d been unable to stop thinking about him lately. Even after so much time had passed (Beth would be celebrating a birthday in seventeen days, Quinn knew from the count she discretely kept in the corner of the pages of her planner), and while she had both her figure and her popularity back, she knew that Finn still harbored resentment toward her. They had moved on, grown up, she’d even venture to call them friends. But he wasn’t ever going to be interested in her in that way again, and she’s honestly not sure she could blame him. Even so, though, she couldn’t help the feelings that had been plaguing her as of late. Ever since he started carrying a torch for Berry, she’d been unable to watch the two of them together. His displays of affection toward her were just sickening, and Quinn could hardly stomach being in the same room as either one of them. Quinn was brought back to the present when she heard the object of her thoughts calling her name.
“Quinn!” Finn called quite loudly, giving her the impression that he must have been calling her for a while. “Will you please pay attention? Rach is trying to talk to you!”
“Sorry, Stubbles,” she bit out. She had been making an effort to be nicer to everyone, but it just hadn’t been working for her, not since she noticed Finn and Rachel getting back together. She realized she was probably just still mad at herself for ruining everything she had with Finn (and her whole life, really) but she couldn’t help taking it out on Rachel. She was practically asking for it with her animal sweaters and whatnot.
“As I was saying,” Rachel smiled sweetly, making Quinn want to slap the stupid expression off her face, “Quinn is played by the beautiful and talented Dianna Agron. She is one of the biggest and more popular names to come out of Glee, excluding, of course, Ms. Lea Michele, as her success has grown beyond the small screen and she has been equally revered on the silver screen. She also has been featured on a multitude of magazine’s ‘most beautiful’ lists.” Rachel smiled at the other girl once again, this time raising an eyebrow and giving her a quick wink.
Quinn blinked twice in an attempt to clear her mind. Had Rachel Berry just winked at her? This was getting a little weird. Quinn half-listened as Rachel continued her discussion of who each of the kids in the glee club was matched up to in the ‘real world’, or however it is that worked.
“And you, Artie,” Rachel said excitedly, “are portrayed by a young man by the name of Kevin McHale, and, get this!” Rachel clapped her hands excitedly in front of her face while jumping up and down a little bit. “He’s not in a wheelchair! He can dance! Isn’t that so cool?”
Artie looked a little hurt, but nodded anyway and Rachel excitedly continued through the rest of the Glee club, matching each participant up to his or her real world counterpart.
“I’m confused,” Brittany said finally.
“I think we all are, Britt,” Santana responded, patting Brittany’s leg. “Berry’s just being a drama queen or something, ignore her.”
“No, I get what she’s saying about the real world, it totally makes sense.” Everyone stared at her as she rose from her seat and stepped down off the risers, moving toward Rachel to look at the paperwork she had spread out on the piano. “It’s just, everything you showed us made it seem like the show is really popular. Why would they cancel it?”
“Oh! Thank you for reminding me, Brittany. I can’t believe I forgot to share that part. Lea Michele, despite her amazing talent and overwhelming beauty, seems to be in the midst of a contract dispute. She is, of course, the star of the show, and if she does not sign her contract the rest of the cast will be unable to carry the show without her. I completely feel for her, too, remember that one time I wanted to quit the glee club but felt bad leaving you all to suffer without me and my talent?”
“But why won’t she sign her contract?” Mercedes asked, ignoring Rachel’s comment. “Seems like this show would be making her a lot of money.”
“Well, nothing has been confirmed, mind you, but I’ve been doing quite a bit of research on that subject as well. There is one interesting internet community I’ve come across that has a very interesting theory.” Rachel stepped back to the computer and projected a website up onto the white board at the front of the room. “There are a group of people called “Achele Shippers - that is, people who believe in a relationship between Dianna Agron and Lea Michele,” she emphasized, “who seem to feel that the real world equivalents of Quinn and myself have either been involved in a relationship or have some sort of unresolved sexual tension that is making it difficult for them to work together.”
Puck sneered. “That’s hot.”
“While I must agree with you, Noah, it seems as though it may be a potential cause of our world coming to an end. In general, people seem to believe this theory to be preposterous, but in my research I’ve found it to be the most well thought-out and believable of the many speculations I’ve seen.”
“Someone who looks like Q would not be attracted to someone who looks like you, Berry,” Santana laughed.
“Well, Santana,” Rachel responded, quickly turning away from where her teammates were seated to hide the hurt on her face. “I am very sorry to hear you feel that way. Mr. Schuester, I believe I’ve monopolized enough of our time. I will do some more research and report back at tomorrow’s rehearsal. Shall we sing?”
Part 2