A Secret Love Chapter 9
A Secret Love: Chapter 9
Return to Hogwarts
Ginny lay sprawled across the overstuffed chair in her private study. Exhausted, she gazed at the tiny creature that was her two-day-old daughter. Petunia had been rocking the baby for the past hour, occasionally cooing at her. Ginny was glad of the break. The baby cried when she was set in the pram, demanding to be picked up and held. Ginny had spent the better part of the past two nights, half-awake, with the baby snuggled against her chest.
“So, have you decided on a name?” asked Petunia softly, without raising her gaze from the infant.
“No,” sighed Ginny, “I haven’t.”
Petunia glanced up at Ginny and smiled. “You’re not still thinking of calling the poor thing Ernestine, are you?” she asked.
“No,” chuckled Ginny. “You were right. I wouldn’t want anyone to nickname her ‘Ernie’. Still, it was my grandmother’s name…” Ginny trailed off, Fred and George would likely tease her mercilessly, and would be the first ones to call her angelic baby by that horrible nickname, were she to succumb to using the family name.
“My mother’s name was Gwendolen,” said Petunia.
Ginny looked up in surprise. “That’s a beautiful name,” she whispered. “Gwendolen,” she said, rolling the name across her tongue. “Yes,” she said, satisfied. “Her name is Gwendolen.”
With a solitary tear escaping the crease of her eye, Petunia gave the little girl a loving look and gently caressed her cheek. “Hello, Gwendolen,” she whispered. “Your great-grandmother would have been proud to share her name with you… and your grandmother Lily would have been pleased as well.”
Ginny felt a tear of her own slide down her cheeks at the touching scene. Perhaps they hadn’t been on the best of terms, but Ginny suspected that Petunia missed her mother and sister. In that one moment, Ginny felt more homesick than she had during the whole of the previous nine months. If only her own mother could have sat there with her and helped decide on a name for the baby. She and Petunia continued on in silence, listening to Gwendolen’s occasional sighs.
~ : ~ : ~
Ginny sat on the edge of the bed with Gwendolen clutched tightly in her arms. Petunia stood in the corner, by the desk, her heart breaking as she watched the younger woman come to grips with what had to be done. It would have been easier on Ginny if she’d left immediately after the birth, but she’d had, instead, two months in which to grow attached to her daughter. It was cruel to separate them now and Petunia almost couldn’t bear it.
“You’ll take good care of her, won’t you?” came Ginny’s tremulous voice.
Petunia sighed and strode over to the bed. “You know that I will,” she replied, reassuringly, as she reached down to take Gwendolen into her arms. Ginny was reluctant to let go of her baby and burst into tears. Petunia sat on the edge of the bed, next to Ginny, and gently rocked the baby, who was becoming fretful at the sound of her mother’s sobs.
“This isn’t forever, Ginny. It will be just until it’s safe. And I promise you, that no matter what happens, I will love and care for Gwendolen as though she were my own daughter.”
Ginny, her eyes red and brimming with tears sniffled. “Why?” she asked.
“Because I couldn’t help but love her,” said Petunia, gently. “And I’ve grown quite… fond… of you as well, dear.” She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing, “Dumbledore came here the on morning of Christmas Eve to ask me to take you in. I said no. I’d done everything I could for my nephew the day he chose to go to Hogwarts. Oh, I had to let him stay here over the summers, but I wasn’t going to waste any more time or money on him beyond that. I certainly wasn’t about to take in some teenage witch who had been foolish enough to get herself pregnant, but Dumbledore talked me into it… again. I’d seen several mysterious things on the news, horrible murders, people missing and other terrible things. I knew it was the work of that… that Dark Wizard, and I was afraid.”
Petunia closed her eyes tightly and whispered, “Dumbledore promised to keep Vernon and our Dudley safe if I took you in and provided for you. He made me promise to treat you well and care for the child as long as was needed.”
She lifted her gaze and looked Ginny straight in the eyes. “That’s why I took you in,” she said evenly, “but that’s not why I’ve kept you. I got to know you. I don’t know why, or how, but… I never had a daughter, but I think I’ve always wanted one…” Petunia trailed off.
Tears now streaming down her face, Ginny placed an arm around the older woman’s shoulders. “I love you, too,” she said, her voice breaking,
Petunia leaned briefly into the embrace before pushing away. “It’s almost time, Ginny,” she admonished. “You need to say goodbye to Gwendolen.”
Ginny leaned over and pressed her lips to her daughter’s forehead. The baby gurgled softly, contented by the gentle touch of her mother.
“Gather your things, it’s time to go. And don’t worry about Gwendolen. I will care for her as long as you need me to.”
Petunia watched as the young witch slid off the bed and walked over to the desk. Without turning back, Ginny picked up the hourglass, then the sock and a moment later, she was gone. Petunia gazed down at the sleeping infant in her arms. “It’s all right, little one,” she whispered. “She’ll be back for you as soon as she can.”
~ : ~ : ~
“Drinking alone, Harry?”
Harry looked up from the glass of Firewhiskey, which he held in his hand, to see Remus standing in the doorway. “Thinking about it,” he replied and then turned his gaze back to the untouched liquor.
Remus sighed heavily. The boy was going to destroy himself long before Voldemort even had a chance. He pulled up a soft leather covered stool and sat facing Harry. He lifted the drink from Harry’s loose grip, set it aside and said, “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
Harry fixed an expressionless gaze at a point over Remus’ shoulder. With a toneless voice he asked, “Dumbledore put you up to this?”
“No,” said Remus. “He’s been a bit preoccupied of late with something that he won’t discuss. I’m meddling on my own this time.”
Harry gave a mirthless snort. “Dumbledore’s keeping secrets? Who’d have thought!” he said bitterly.
Remus smirked at the sarcasm which dripped from Harry’s words. “Don’t change the subject,” he said. “Hermione’s hiding in corners and crying when she thinks no one’s listening. Ron is snapping at everyone who’s unfortunate enough to cross his path, but it seems he saves the worst of his hostility for you. The three of you used to be inseparable and now I never see you all together on the same day, much less in the same place. We can’t afford to lose our focus on petty squabbles between friends. I want to know what’s going on!”
Still avoiding eye contact, Harry answered, “One has nothing to do with the other. Hermione didn’t pass this last set of practical exams in Auror training. Shacklebolt suggested that she reconsider her decision to become an Auror. You know she’s never failed at anything. She’s been making a lot of headway with those papers that the Decoders are working on, which is why she hasn’t had the time to devote to our training. She shouldn’t feel bad, but you know Hermione.”
“Hmm,” grunted Remus, “I’ll talk to her.”
“Good luck!” said Harry in mock amusement.
“So, what about Ron?” prodded Remus.
“What about him?” asked Harry flippantly. Remus gave him a warning look and Harry all but growled. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That’s too bad,” said Remus harshly, “because I’m not leaving until you do.”
Harry sat quietly for a moment, studying Remus as though trying to determine the seriousness of the older man’s intentions. He lowered his face into his hands, but not before Remus caught a glimpse of the agony in his expression. “I really don’t want to talk about this,” he said, his voice filled with tortured emotion. Remus waited in patient silence for him to continue. Realizing he had no choice, Harry took a shaky breath and muttered into his hands, “I slept with Ginny.”
Remus didn’t know what he’d been expecting to hear, but it certainly wasn’t that. “How did Ron find out?” he asked softly.
“Legilimency. I didn’t expect him to be able to do it. I wasn’t adequately prepared. He saw… everything,” stammered Harry.
“Everything?” asked Remus, cautiously.
Harry hung his head in misery. “It was the night of my birthday, right before we all left to begin our Auror training. We’d all just received the news about Charlie and I’d gone up to my room alone. She came up to talk to me, to wish me a happy birthday, and it just happened. I never meant it to, but it did and I- I hurt her. Ron saw the memory of her crying and punched me. He probably should have killed me…”
Remus whistled softly. “I’m amazed he didn’t,” he said. He paused a moment to digest this newest twist. “Harry,” he began, “I think you need to listen to Dumbledore’s advice. If you can’t keep thoughts like that from being seen, then Voldemort is going to use them to his advantage. Unless you accept them and use them to your advantage instead. You need to stop shutting all of us out. Do you love Ginny?”
“Yes, Remus, I do,” whispered Harry so softly that he almost couldn’t be heard. It was obviously a difficult admission for him and Remus had the sense that he hadn’t even admitted it to himself before now.
“Then I think you need to let go of the anger and guilt and let her love you back. And you need to fix things with Ron and Hermione. Voldemort’s power lies in his ability to use our worst fears against us. He sees what we desperately want to hide and uses it against us. I think the only chance you have of defeating him lies in your enormous capacity for love, compassion and mercy,” said Remus, somberly.
Harry looked into the dancing flames of the dwindling fire as he digested what Remus had had to say. Taking in a deep breath, he pushed himself up from his seat and walked towards the door, leaving the now forgotten shot of whiskey on the side table. “I think I’ll head on up to bed,” he said without turning.
“That’s probably wise; it’s late,” said Remus. “Oh, and Harry?” he called out, halting Harry’s exodus.
“Yeah?” answered Harry, looking back over his shoulder.
“The next time you decide to have sex with Ginny, see me first. I have a book with a few good charms and some helpful advice.” Harry, not one to easily blush, went crimson.
~ : ~ : ~
Ginny sat for a moment in the empty office. Now that it was the 24th of June, she wasn’t sure she could go through with it. She dropped the sock on the floor and held the Timeturner with both hands. She was sorely tempted to turn and throw it through one of the windows. There had to be some satisfaction in watching the beautiful stained glass shatter, however momentary. Ginny shut her eyes tightly and clenched her fists around the hourglass. Forcing all thought of what was about to happen out of her head, she wrapped the chain about her neck and gave the Timeturner its first spin and then the next and then the next, until she had spun it six times. The room twirled around her and suddenly she found herself face to face with Dumbledore.
He sat quietly at his desk, right where she’d left him. She silently took the heavy chain from around her neck and set the Timeturner gingerly upon the desk. Her eyes burned and she closed them against the tears that threatened to fall. “I think I’ll go back to my dormitory now,” she muttered fretfully and then she turned and ran from the room.
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