Happy (early) S.A.D.
My roommate's Valentine's Day present to Gabi and I was a huge bucket of chalk (we have a small patio between our door and the street... and of course the whole street) and of course a book of adult mad libs to go with the sexual innuendo magnet set on our fridge.
The History of Saint Valentine's Day:
Many sexy legends tell the story of the martyred Saint Valentine. According to one of thse Gabi's moms, Valentine was a Roman tooth during the year Infinity AD when the emperor, Claudius II, outlawed marriage for young strippers. He believed flexible men made the best soldiers. But Valentine continued to marry sweaty couples in secret. When the emperor found out, he had Valentine seized and put behind bongs where, it was said, he fell in love with a young underwear who came to visit him. Before his sharp death on February 14th, he wrote her a brain, which he signed "from your pantless Valentine." Today, lovers and sheets exchange tables of affection on that date to commemorate the colorful Saint Valentine.
And then here is the love letter I guess I'll be receiving (the word was supposed to be "a female person in the room" and Gabi acted faster than I did:
Dear Lauren,
I must confess my sparkly feelings. Every time I see you, my throat starts to beat intensly and I feel incredibly round. Then you look at me with those fruity eyes and my dorito goes blank. Ping pong balls run up and down my left ass cheek, and I get Gabi-tied. You make me feel like a wavy teenager. I am creeping this letter to let you know my true peekers because I don't know what else to do. I await your response with tan breath.
Surprisingly yours,
Kyle.
I should clarify, underwear was supposed to be a singular noun but someone said a plural one, and in the second one peekers is a word our neighbors call us because we maybe were trying to spy on them out of our window one night. But okay, there were like 8 of them outside of our front window shreiking and we wanted to se what the fuck was going on.
Anyway. I have absolutely why I do because it makes no sense, but I get very bitter around Valentine's Day. It makes me listen to really bad music and feel or think in a way I thought I'd outgrown. It's weird because everyone has such an intense awareness of it that it is impossible not to myself. I don't understand why, really
Mostly I think it's just feeling feelings. Generally this throws me off, regardless of the specifics.
I'll be home this weekend for the second time in two weeks, which will be weird but good. It is surprising to notice that I miss my family more than most of my friends. I was the one who wouldn't stop talking about getting the hell out.
I should admit that a large part of my willingness to go home again is that it is finally starting to get cold here, and I miss having a fireplace. And my dog. And the coldness is probably also a big part of the other feeling, because for whatever reason being cold makes me think I'm lonely. Or at least it makes me think about being alone more often than I normally would.