This was so sad! You could really feel the connection between these two characters - great emotion there. I really like your interpretation of going through the afterlife/reincarnation/life with the same person, a soul mate of sorts. Very nice!
Sorry I'm so late getting to this - hectic week last week.
Your descriptive writing is beautiful to read, and so perfectly conveys what is going on that the reader is inevitably drawn into the character's situation. I like how you get the concept of the between lives existence across without actually stating where the characters are. As the piece unfolds, awareness dawns. You capture the characters feelings so well with lines such as "Together, we tremble off the edge." That line is so simple, yet so expressive of their fear. The only "critique" I have is the hyphenation of "again-for-the-first-time." I think the concept would have been clear without it. The hyphens made me stop and reread. You have written a wonderful scenario here - controlled, yet lush and evocative.
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Your descriptive writing is beautiful to read, and so perfectly conveys what is going on that the reader is inevitably drawn into the character's situation. I like how you get the concept of the between lives existence across without actually stating where the characters are. As the piece unfolds, awareness dawns. You capture the characters feelings so well with lines such as "Together, we tremble off the edge." That line is so simple, yet so expressive of their fear. The only "critique" I have is the hyphenation of "again-for-the-first-time." I think the concept would have been clear without it. The hyphens made me stop and reread. You have written a wonderful scenario here - controlled, yet lush and evocative.
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