Just Drafting Something
First and foremost I must take responsibility for my rash judgement and complete out-of-character decision to lash out at a member of the band. It takes an astounding amount of frustration to force me to lower myself to that level of confrontation.
That being said I would like to explain my actions on saturday morning and what lead up to that stupid decision.
I take band extremely seriously, I've worked hard over the past four years developing myself as a musician, tuned to the band's needs. I wanted the band to sound as good as possible. However it seems that some people have a hard time taking band seriously, and yes it's okay to have fun every once in a while and laugh, nobody said you can't laugh, but there is a time to laugh and a time to be serious, practices should be more focused, and here's where the frustrations build. Friday morning I walked into the band room at 12:25 hoping to see at least a few people. I saw only john, and it stayed like that for a while, people began to drag in and I was really frustrated that most had blown off our 12:30 time for starting rehearsal for the parade. I don't know about the rest of the line but I was tired of looking and sounding like crap going down the road. The frustration nearly tripled wh en I found almost all of the drumline outside the school at 12:45 eating mc donalds, which first off is very heavy and I wouldn't put that in me before a parade. I don't know what's sooo hard about getting somewhere at 12:45 on a friday, especially when there is no school and you knew about a planned practice a couple days in advance. So as we started late, we had to finish late and the band members began filing in and a few members were mocking the drumline and picking up instruments and playing them with the intent to annoy the line. After that John told them to stop however they persisted and we were visibly upset and trying to struggle through a rehearsal that started half an hour late because of people not caring. So finally it was time to go warm up for marching and this is where the fun begins. as everyone was lining up the drumline was waiting because we would be setting up in the back so we waited for the rest of the band to get situated, then when we started moving towards the back justin made a comment that just happened to be the last straw, I had had all I could take, and that's saying a lot because anyone who knows me knows that I will never strike someone, I will never confront anyone unless there is an extreme amount of problems. And then I snapped, I had had enough and unfortunately I could not stop myself, I don't know why, and I could not give you logical reasoning behind it, but I struck justin to try to get my point across. Because obviously in the past when we told him to stop making the comments or at least expressed that we were upset about them being made they didn't stop, I could think of no words to convey my message that would not be mocked or ignored. I'm not trying to justify striking justin, in no instance is that propper or civil way to solve a dispute but unfortunately justin's and other members of the band's maturity level inhibited me from solving this disagreement verbally.
I apologize to you justin, I did not intend to snap, and I did not intend to harm I had been pushed to a point where I blacked out and did not consider the consequences.
However this is how serious I take band, this is how much it frustrates me when jerks like those select band members, ruin the band. Justin is a talented musician and I respect him for that, however degrading other musicians, mocking what we're trying to do and making comments like he made are indescibably inappropriate and just plain stupid. I am committed to this band and I try my hardest to make it sound good, I want this band to sound good and be an enjoyable experience, and frankly I don't find it enjoyable to come to rehearsals and performances and classes when people like these band members mock it and make it seem like a big joke.
Mr. O has a hard job to do, and the band doesn't make it any easier by mouthing off and not taking it seriously. If you think band is a joke, or you want to mock the drummers, get out of band, seriously, we don't need to have people in band making it harder than it already is to get things done. I know he doesn't appreciate it, and I don't appreciate it. I have a lot of stressful things to deal with, I don't want band to be one of them. I think this group has alot of talent and has a chance to do something great and it frustrates me when people stop that from happening by not taking it seriously and not caring. Once again I'm not justifying my actions, I'm saying that this is how serious I am, and if I have to get myself in trouble, so be it but it's not so much the action as the motive.
I'm think I'll quit band, I could use the extra time in the morning, and I really don't need all this shit...lol that's not part of the letter just random thought. ugh today was a very bad day...