Fic: Awkward Moments In Heaven || Remus/Sirius, PG
The first of the post-DH request ficlets! This one's for bluesenough.
Title: Awkward Moments In Heaven
Pairing: Remus/Sirius, Remus/Tonks mentioned
Rating: PG for boy-snogging and the eff word
Words: 980
Warnings: DH spoilers. Follows canon, except for the slashy bit (durr).
Summary: It's not a near miss this time.
Remus has been a hair's breadth from dying enough times to know his life won't flash before his eyes. There won't be any great epiphany; there never is. Sometimes there's a last-minute-last-ditch thought, yes, but it's always something like damn, should've burnt that diary or hope someone remembers I've got that Muggle insurance policy or sometimes just hope it's quick, or simply fuuuuuck.
He's been ready to die since... well, forever, it seems. Ever since his very first hope I go to heaven on seeing Fenrir Greyback's feral grin, he's known he could go at any time.
These days, of course, he's not sure there is a heaven or anything like it. He can't help wondering, but he's never been one to set himself up for disappointment. He wants to hope he'll see his parents and James and Lily and Sirius, but he can't quite bring himself to.
When he sees a familiar shock of pink hair amidst the flurry of robes and wands and curses, the panic and anger and fear are numbed with the umpteenth this is it of his life as he races toward damned stupid beautiful brave Dora just in time to step between her and the jet of green light.
"Get out of here!" he shouts at her, and he's faintly surprised that the battle seems to drop into slow motion and fall away.
Or maybe the memories are just coming that fast. On the heels of a desperate prayer that his son will have a mother, that he'll have a world worth growing up in, his wand clatters to the floor with a protego still half out of it and he's suddenly nowhere at all for the bare white blink of a moment. Then his wand is falling to a different floor with the rattling echo of wood on wood.
Remus stares at his wand, watches it roll to a stop against the dormitory wall. It's easier than looking at Sirius or thinking about the sting of the expelliarmus against the back of his hand.
"Look at me," Sirius says, somewhere between a growl and a whine, every inch the scolded dog.
Remus raises his eyes slowly, his jaw painfully clenched. "Don't you think I've got the right to hex you?" Even he's surprised at the chill in his tone.
"You can hex me all you want. I deserve that and worse, but will you at least let me-"
"Let you explain? Oh, yes, I'd love to hear that one. How you were just standing about polishing your halo when horrible evil mean Snape put a wand at your back and demanded you tell him how to get into the tunnel?"
"No, I- Moony- Remus. That's- I know I've got no excuse. I was stupid. I was fucked off with Sniv- Snape, and I didn't think."
"You could have been a murderer twice over. If James hadn't- if I'd killed him- even Dumbledore couldn't hush that up. I'd have been put down like a dog." He sits on the edge of the bed, heart beating too fast and knees too weak and trembling to stand anymore.
Sirius kneels at his feet and takes his hand. Remus wants to slap them away, but even now the warm press of fingers around his brings some perverse sort of comfort. He looks at the wall. "I've got no right to be forgiven, but can you ever?"
The terrible thing is, he wants to. Sirius can be malicious, even cruel, but he isn't evil.
"You must know I'd never mean to hurt you. God-" His voice breaks, cracking the patented Aloof and Cool Sirius Black Façade, and Remus finally looks down. There are tears creeping out of the edges of Sirius' eyes and his mouth is twisted in a pained grimace.
Remus can only hold the cold indifference for so many months, and he's been at the end of his rope since the beginning of term. "It's going to be a long time before I can trust you again." His voice feels dry and cracked. "But... but I do believe you, and I forgave you a while ago."
Sirius rests his forehead against Remus' knees, and Remus lays a tentative hand against the back of his head, stroking his hair in an awkward attempt at comfort he's never had to give. Sirius lets out a sound that could be a gasp or a sob, and Remus slides off the bed and sinks to the floor. He lets Sirius cling to him, wishing a thousand things unsaid and undone, and wonders if this boy will be the death of him.
Aloud, apparently. "No, you'll outlive me by years, Moony," Sirius says into his shoulder. "I'll do something stupid and reckless and then I'll haunt you till you come join me." Remus is sure he feels a rueful grin, but Sirius' face is earnest and searching when he raises his head.
Sirius reaches up and traces the thin pink line of the fresh new scar down the side of Remus' face. Remus shivers, both at the sensitivity of the just-healed wound, and because he knows what Sirius is about to do.
"I'm lost without you, you know," Sirius whispers, and leans in.
It's a slow kiss, tearstained and bitter and still half-angry, warm and cold and hot all at once, and Remus feels human for the first time in months.
He's just starting to gasp at the touch of lips and tongue and stubbled cheek against his neck when reality coalesces back into being. It's an interrupted dream, the kind that seems to go on all night but doesn't even last a second.
I'll haunt you till you come join me.
It doesn't hurt at all. He falls back, hoping Dora makes it, for her sake and for Teddy's, and because he's not sure Sirius will understand.
Um, yeah, it actually turns out that I have a pretty hard time writing Remus, so I hope this is okay? And the title sort of has nothing to do with the content anymore (ehh, maybe if you squint), because it veered off in a totally different direction than I'd planned on. But I liked the title, dangit, so there it is.
Next up: Bill/Draco for ships_harry and then some Snarry goodness for misssolitude.
I'll still take two more requests if anyone's got one.
Title: Awkward Moments In Heaven
Pairing: Remus/Sirius, Remus/Tonks mentioned
Rating: PG for boy-snogging and the eff word
Words: 980
Warnings: DH spoilers. Follows canon, except for the slashy bit (durr).
Summary: It's not a near miss this time.
Remus has been a hair's breadth from dying enough times to know his life won't flash before his eyes. There won't be any great epiphany; there never is. Sometimes there's a last-minute-last-ditch thought, yes, but it's always something like damn, should've burnt that diary or hope someone remembers I've got that Muggle insurance policy or sometimes just hope it's quick, or simply fuuuuuck.
He's been ready to die since... well, forever, it seems. Ever since his very first hope I go to heaven on seeing Fenrir Greyback's feral grin, he's known he could go at any time.
These days, of course, he's not sure there is a heaven or anything like it. He can't help wondering, but he's never been one to set himself up for disappointment. He wants to hope he'll see his parents and James and Lily and Sirius, but he can't quite bring himself to.
When he sees a familiar shock of pink hair amidst the flurry of robes and wands and curses, the panic and anger and fear are numbed with the umpteenth this is it of his life as he races toward damned stupid beautiful brave Dora just in time to step between her and the jet of green light.
"Get out of here!" he shouts at her, and he's faintly surprised that the battle seems to drop into slow motion and fall away.
Or maybe the memories are just coming that fast. On the heels of a desperate prayer that his son will have a mother, that he'll have a world worth growing up in, his wand clatters to the floor with a protego still half out of it and he's suddenly nowhere at all for the bare white blink of a moment. Then his wand is falling to a different floor with the rattling echo of wood on wood.
Remus stares at his wand, watches it roll to a stop against the dormitory wall. It's easier than looking at Sirius or thinking about the sting of the expelliarmus against the back of his hand.
"Look at me," Sirius says, somewhere between a growl and a whine, every inch the scolded dog.
Remus raises his eyes slowly, his jaw painfully clenched. "Don't you think I've got the right to hex you?" Even he's surprised at the chill in his tone.
"You can hex me all you want. I deserve that and worse, but will you at least let me-"
"Let you explain? Oh, yes, I'd love to hear that one. How you were just standing about polishing your halo when horrible evil mean Snape put a wand at your back and demanded you tell him how to get into the tunnel?"
"No, I- Moony- Remus. That's- I know I've got no excuse. I was stupid. I was fucked off with Sniv- Snape, and I didn't think."
"You could have been a murderer twice over. If James hadn't- if I'd killed him- even Dumbledore couldn't hush that up. I'd have been put down like a dog." He sits on the edge of the bed, heart beating too fast and knees too weak and trembling to stand anymore.
Sirius kneels at his feet and takes his hand. Remus wants to slap them away, but even now the warm press of fingers around his brings some perverse sort of comfort. He looks at the wall. "I've got no right to be forgiven, but can you ever?"
The terrible thing is, he wants to. Sirius can be malicious, even cruel, but he isn't evil.
"You must know I'd never mean to hurt you. God-" His voice breaks, cracking the patented Aloof and Cool Sirius Black Façade, and Remus finally looks down. There are tears creeping out of the edges of Sirius' eyes and his mouth is twisted in a pained grimace.
Remus can only hold the cold indifference for so many months, and he's been at the end of his rope since the beginning of term. "It's going to be a long time before I can trust you again." His voice feels dry and cracked. "But... but I do believe you, and I forgave you a while ago."
Sirius rests his forehead against Remus' knees, and Remus lays a tentative hand against the back of his head, stroking his hair in an awkward attempt at comfort he's never had to give. Sirius lets out a sound that could be a gasp or a sob, and Remus slides off the bed and sinks to the floor. He lets Sirius cling to him, wishing a thousand things unsaid and undone, and wonders if this boy will be the death of him.
Aloud, apparently. "No, you'll outlive me by years, Moony," Sirius says into his shoulder. "I'll do something stupid and reckless and then I'll haunt you till you come join me." Remus is sure he feels a rueful grin, but Sirius' face is earnest and searching when he raises his head.
Sirius reaches up and traces the thin pink line of the fresh new scar down the side of Remus' face. Remus shivers, both at the sensitivity of the just-healed wound, and because he knows what Sirius is about to do.
"I'm lost without you, you know," Sirius whispers, and leans in.
It's a slow kiss, tearstained and bitter and still half-angry, warm and cold and hot all at once, and Remus feels human for the first time in months.
He's just starting to gasp at the touch of lips and tongue and stubbled cheek against his neck when reality coalesces back into being. It's an interrupted dream, the kind that seems to go on all night but doesn't even last a second.
I'll haunt you till you come join me.
It doesn't hurt at all. He falls back, hoping Dora makes it, for her sake and for Teddy's, and because he's not sure Sirius will understand.
Um, yeah, it actually turns out that I have a pretty hard time writing Remus, so I hope this is okay? And the title sort of has nothing to do with the content anymore (ehh, maybe if you squint), because it veered off in a totally different direction than I'd planned on. But I liked the title, dangit, so there it is.
Next up: Bill/Draco for ships_harry and then some Snarry goodness for misssolitude.
I'll still take two more requests if anyone's got one.