a year
what happened

been a long time
and the holidays still not done

three years since i felt
anything for them

another thanksgiving
just the same as a wednesday
another christmas
just the same as last tuesday

i remember
when it was special

i remember
when i cared more

i remember
when i felt something
akin to human

there is a clamor

inside my head

it's pounding a path

through my drums

and it is only going

bring me down

but i just don't care

so you better string me up

hang me from the spikes

inside the floor

and maybe

it will all fall away

back into the darkness

where it dose lay

i am lost
and adrift
blinded by self
and i see nothing but grey

i have not written anything this year
and all i feal
is the march of unsaid poems
that can not quite make it to paper

i know not what to do
and the drugs dont work

but such is
as it shall be

and i hope to once again
see the waves
and a sun so bright

in pity's grasp
i hold myself
with blood that pounds
in ears gone deaf

and in the whirlwind we spin
fast as fast can be
but the center dose not hold
and we have been to long
in this forgotten place
where sun meets moon

god dam ( Read more... )

your happiness
is bought and paid
while mine
is still on loan
hawked long ago
for a spin
that did not even last
the whole night long

with rueful smile
and swollen tongue
to face the waking sun

burning throat
highlights green fields
in the haze
of dripping snow
and the sun shines ever on

the rain fell
in torrents
and sheets
its cleansing
tainted

spinning like a top
round and round we go

and i just don't know

in wake time i reside
entering the dream

i am lost
without words

soon i shall travel
once again to feeal the road
benith my feet
and oppen sky
in sunken eyes

this place is bad for me
with the corpes
of lives once lived
with bloody kisses
and a running nose
gagging on the remains
of powders white

but i shall soon
once again be free
in a land far away