155 // i miss the innocence i've known
My professor handed this out to us in Developmental Psych today. It absolutely cracked me up, and I thought you'd get a laugh too:
What is the proper age to get married?
"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." - Judy, 8
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife!" - Tom, 5
What do most people do on a date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for the second date." - Mike, 10
When is it okay to kiss someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." - Jim, 10
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." - Kelly, 9
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you... That's why I stopped doing it." - Jean, 10
The great debate: Is it better to be single or married?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" - Lynette, 9
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." - Kenny, 7
Concerning why love happens between two particular people:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deoderant are so popular." - Jan, 9
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be painful." - Harlan, 8
On what falling in love is like:
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." - Roger, 9
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." - Leo, 7
On the role of good looks in love:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." - Jeanne, 8
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." - Gary, 7
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." - Christine, 9
Concerning why lovers often hold hands:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." - Dave, 8
Confidential opinions about love:
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on television." - Anita, 6
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." - Bobby, 8
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." - Regina, 10
The personal qualities necessary to be a good lover:
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." - Ava, 8
Some surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you:
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." - Del, 6
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." - Alonzo, 9
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually work for me." - Bart, 9
How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." - John, 9
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." - Brad, 8
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are on fire." - Christine, 9
What most people are thinking when they say "I love you":
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." - Michelle, 9
How a person learns to kiss:
"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." - Doug, 7
How to make love endure:
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." - Tom, 7
"Don't forget your wife's name...that will mess up love." - Roger, 8
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never took out the trash." - Randy, 8
What is the proper age to get married?
"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." - Judy, 8
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife!" - Tom, 5
What do most people do on a date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for the second date." - Mike, 10
When is it okay to kiss someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." - Jim, 10
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." - Kelly, 9
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you... That's why I stopped doing it." - Jean, 10
The great debate: Is it better to be single or married?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" - Lynette, 9
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." - Kenny, 7
Concerning why love happens between two particular people:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deoderant are so popular." - Jan, 9
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be painful." - Harlan, 8
On what falling in love is like:
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." - Roger, 9
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." - Leo, 7
On the role of good looks in love:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." - Jeanne, 8
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." - Gary, 7
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." - Christine, 9
Concerning why lovers often hold hands:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." - Dave, 8
Confidential opinions about love:
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on television." - Anita, 6
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." - Bobby, 8
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." - Regina, 10
The personal qualities necessary to be a good lover:
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." - Ava, 8
Some surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you:
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." - Del, 6
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." - Alonzo, 9
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually work for me." - Bart, 9
How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." - John, 9
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." - Brad, 8
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are on fire." - Christine, 9
What most people are thinking when they say "I love you":
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." - Michelle, 9
How a person learns to kiss:
"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." - Doug, 7
How to make love endure:
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." - Tom, 7
"Don't forget your wife's name...that will mess up love." - Roger, 8
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never took out the trash." - Randy, 8