January 18th, 1983 -- as Mary Clare O'Driscoll
That fucking bastard.
I can't believe he's been having an affair.
I gave up so much to be with him. I've barely had any contact with wizards or witches that aren't my family since I left Hogwarts, and that was almost twelve bloody years ago. I've liked living a mostly Muggle life (though Tia has already shown a small sign of magic, and I've explained it as well as I could at this point), but I'm a witch at heart and... I don't know. Love makes people do bloody weird things sometimes, and I thought I had it with Neil. We've been married for nearly seven years, and dated a couple of years before that. But that was before I found out he was shagging a girl I work with. A girl who is leggy, blonde and twenty-fucking-two. I don't know what I did (or didn't do) for him to go off like that and completely fuck up everything-
I promised myself I wouldn't get angry again so soon but GODS THAT MAN MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM. We have a daughter, and, what possibly kills me the most, is that there is another child on the way who is likely going to grow up from seeing his or her father at a distance. I'll imagine we'll get a divorce. The shame that'll bring on the family... We're currently separated, he moved out to stay with some friends while we sort this out and Tia keeps asking me when Daddy is coming home from work. It kills me to have to lie to her, but I know I'm going to have to tell her the truth some day.
I haven't told my parents. Or Neil's mother. The only family member I've told is Shannon (who has likely told Devin by now, but I expected that), and I know she'll keep this to herself. Gods I fucking envy her right now. I don't know how to tell them that my marriage is all but over (there is no way in hell I'm forgiving him for this anytime soon) but that oh look, I'm nearly three months pregnant? Surprise!
I've glanced in these journals every now and again and I see that my year and house mates have done so much. Marriages, kids, Quidditch, Healing school, music, law... I don't even know if any of them would remember me if I started to talk to them again. But now that I have some time and space to deal with my own disasters... maybe it could be a good chance to say hello again.
Maybe. I'm just so messed up and hormonal right now that everything is just ARGH to me right now.