Help - It's killing me...
So. Remember that sn_exchange summer round I signed up for literally at the last minute? Well, it requires that my story is at least 3,500 words and that I meet the rating requested by my receiver. And I did both. So what's the problem? Well, I was so damn worried about my word count that I wrote 3,500 words of porn (not graphic, and the porn's not the main focus anyway in those situations) just to be able to cross that count and to incorporate my requester's kinks and story idea, I went ahead and wrote an extra 3,000 words of nonsensical, highly dubious fight scenes (since I just tend to skip past them in the manga, because goddammit, I'm tired of them and dammit Kishi, stop committing sins against every god in Japanese mythology!) and discovered that I fail at keeping anything short.
You may choose to ignore the bracketed part:
[RANT: Wtf? Look, I explicitly stated that I cannot write FLUFF. And I cannot write HUMOUR, mostly because my own sense of humour is dismally non-existent. I stated - over and over again - that while I could deal with implied sex, I couldn't deal with ze hawt pronz (mostly because it never fits it with my writing style and I'm working my ass off to improve transition on my fic, dammit!) and I got a request that stated my receiver wanted ze hawt pronz. Not only that, but I also stated that if there's anything I'm good at, it's emotionally driven stories and character analysis, and mellow angst, and I'd rather not write HUMOR but NO. What do I get? The total opposite. A PROMPT that is conducive to humour, wants hot sex (LOTS OF IT), and cotton candy fluff and unicorns and rainbows. AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT!]
So normally I'm not that vocal about my frustrations, since admittedly, a lot of people are in my shoes right now, but I just had to get that out of my chest. That, and the fic just keeps getting longer and longer (seriously, it's on steroids) because what I cannot convey because my lack of expertise, I'll have to get across through effort. And editing will only get you so far. (Oh, and the more words I write, the more confident I become because hey, this is a challenge that has some shape and structure now, right?)
The fic is at app. 6,500 words right now, and it'll probably grow to around 15,000 words. And don't worry - I'll finish, however haphazardly that may be because I hatehatehate to leave things unfinished and have to wonder about "What if"s in the aftermath. That, and when I'm racing against time, I, well, thrive. (Maybe that has something to do with putting off studying until the night before the exam XD).
Anyway, so what I did was try out this awesome solution recommended by narutobanged and I don't believe it, it actually worked. I guess learning through pain really is the best way to go. So I have no doubt the fic's gonna be there on time.
Problem is, there's going to be a lot to edit because, well, I'm me, my typing is abysmally...ugh, and constantly find something to criticize about my own work. So I need a betareader. Someone who'll be brutally honest with me and someone whom I'll get along with. That doesn't necessarily mean I need to specifically know you or anything - just as long as we get a good working relationship going and work out any disagreements we may have with logical reasoning, I'm okay with it! Really.
I would've asked one of the communities for help first (not because you guys aren't awesome, but because I hate bothering you with my personal issues - which is why you don't see much RL posts from me - and asking you guys to help all the time. I'm so ashamed...) but it's an exchange fic that's supposed to be secret - and I can't trust just anyone! D: I know, I know, quite picky of me, but I'm feeling paranoid and downright bitchy right now.
Excuse the language - I usually don't curse, but 3 hours of sleep and typing up 3,000 words within 1.75 hrs will do that to you. Also, I want a beta this early (this late?) because I would feel bad - as in, really bad - about dumping >10,000 words on a person who - I acknowledge gratefully - is doing me a favor out of the kindness of his/her heart. From my own experience, I've always found it easier to work on a reasonable amount of text at a time - it's more effective in that you don't get tired, and when you leave the work and come back to it after a while, it's refreshing (and yu get more time to think about what you can do to add to the story without being verbose). It's effective, at least for me.
Please make sure you can beta before offering because:
A. the deadline's 21st of this month. that's about two weeks (or more accurately, 12 days)
B. I really don't want to blurt out my entire plot/story-line/basis for the fic and then find you unable to beta. I mean, the exchange fics are supposed to be a secret until the reveals or there's no point! D:
So if you're not busy, then please just take a look at my fic? Once you comment, I'll tell you my specific requirements (damn it, I sound like a businesswoman or that creepy old lady from the brothel. I'm... probably scaring you all off by now...) and will ask you if you consent to being my sponge - you know, to absorb all my rants and to bounce ideas off of you. One more thing: I'd love it if you're brutally honest with me regarding this project.
By the way, I just signed up for French class. :D which will do nothing to expedite the process of completing this fic XD
COMMENTS ARE SCREENED, if that helps.
You may choose to ignore the bracketed part:
[RANT: Wtf? Look, I explicitly stated that I cannot write FLUFF. And I cannot write HUMOUR, mostly because my own sense of humour is dismally non-existent. I stated - over and over again - that while I could deal with implied sex, I couldn't deal with ze hawt pronz (mostly because it never fits it with my writing style and I'm working my ass off to improve transition on my fic, dammit!) and I got a request that stated my receiver wanted ze hawt pronz. Not only that, but I also stated that if there's anything I'm good at, it's emotionally driven stories and character analysis, and mellow angst, and I'd rather not write HUMOR but NO. What do I get? The total opposite. A PROMPT that is conducive to humour, wants hot sex (LOTS OF IT), and cotton candy fluff and unicorns and rainbows. AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT!]
So normally I'm not that vocal about my frustrations, since admittedly, a lot of people are in my shoes right now, but I just had to get that out of my chest. That, and the fic just keeps getting longer and longer (seriously, it's on steroids) because what I cannot convey because my lack of expertise, I'll have to get across through effort. And editing will only get you so far. (Oh, and the more words I write, the more confident I become because hey, this is a challenge that has some shape and structure now, right?)
The fic is at app. 6,500 words right now, and it'll probably grow to around 15,000 words. And don't worry - I'll finish, however haphazardly that may be because I hatehatehate to leave things unfinished and have to wonder about "What if"s in the aftermath. That, and when I'm racing against time, I, well, thrive. (Maybe that has something to do with putting off studying until the night before the exam XD).
Anyway, so what I did was try out this awesome solution recommended by narutobanged and I don't believe it, it actually worked. I guess learning through pain really is the best way to go. So I have no doubt the fic's gonna be there on time.
Problem is, there's going to be a lot to edit because, well, I'm me, my typing is abysmally...ugh, and constantly find something to criticize about my own work. So I need a betareader. Someone who'll be brutally honest with me and someone whom I'll get along with. That doesn't necessarily mean I need to specifically know you or anything - just as long as we get a good working relationship going and work out any disagreements we may have with logical reasoning, I'm okay with it! Really.
I would've asked one of the communities for help first (not because you guys aren't awesome, but because I hate bothering you with my personal issues - which is why you don't see much RL posts from me - and asking you guys to help all the time. I'm so ashamed...) but it's an exchange fic that's supposed to be secret - and I can't trust just anyone! D: I know, I know, quite picky of me, but I'm feeling paranoid and downright bitchy right now.
Excuse the language - I usually don't curse, but 3 hours of sleep and typing up 3,000 words within 1.75 hrs will do that to you. Also, I want a beta this early (this late?) because I would feel bad - as in, really bad - about dumping >10,000 words on a person who - I acknowledge gratefully - is doing me a favor out of the kindness of his/her heart. From my own experience, I've always found it easier to work on a reasonable amount of text at a time - it's more effective in that you don't get tired, and when you leave the work and come back to it after a while, it's refreshing (and yu get more time to think about what you can do to add to the story without being verbose). It's effective, at least for me.
Please make sure you can beta before offering because:
A. the deadline's 21st of this month. that's about two weeks (or more accurately, 12 days)
B. I really don't want to blurt out my entire plot/story-line/basis for the fic and then find you unable to beta. I mean, the exchange fics are supposed to be a secret until the reveals or there's no point! D:
So if you're not busy, then please just take a look at my fic? Once you comment, I'll tell you my specific requirements (damn it, I sound like a businesswoman or that creepy old lady from the brothel. I'm... probably scaring you all off by now...) and will ask you if you consent to being my sponge - you know, to absorb all my rants and to bounce ideas off of you. One more thing: I'd love it if you're brutally honest with me regarding this project.
By the way, I just signed up for French class. :D which will do nothing to expedite the process of completing this fic XD
COMMENTS ARE SCREENED, if that helps.