Fic: Take Four
Title: Take Four
Genre: Angst/Romace/Gen
Rating: M, because the characters need some angsty sexytimez.
Warnings: Overuse of dashes because it's the cool thing to do, yo. And Sasuke. why do I always fuck up his character. Why. DX
AN: Ugh, this is the fourth time I'm doing this meme. Hence, the title. I couldn't think of anything else. >.>;; But time for confessions: This underwent editing when I typed in "bexause" instead of "because" I did that a lot and I ran out of steam somewhere around Pictures of you, so I slumped, let some songs drift by before resuming. Use Somebody was expanded during edits, because I couldn't resist. Other than that, I followed the rules like a good girl, see?
And obviously, this is full of indulgent Sasuke character ramblings as usual. I've been craving some awesome music lately, and this is the result:
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it’s over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten eleven of these, then post them.
♪Figured you out - Nickelback
Loving Sasuke was something like habit. Or perhaps just a terminal illness. A disease she didn’t have a cure for. A favorite damn disease, Sakura thinks as she feels a hot tongue flick out to lick under her breasts before tugging at the pebbled peak with impatience.
Her breaths become scarce when heated eyes look up at her. Sakura wonders how she looks to him from down there.
She couldn’t figure out where the boundary of love blurred into lust.
--(Perhaps there wasn’t a boundary, perhaps emotions came in pairs)--
She couldn’t figure him out either-or why he had come up to her that day and proposed almost nonchalantly, as if he didn’t care for the answer, that they be something like this. She had agreed because as wrong as it was, this was the only way she had left to communicate with him anymore. The only way she hadn’t tried.
--(But had always wanted to)--
Then Sasuke’s fingers graze almost lover-like up her throat, robbing her of breath and thought, and for the time being, she decides maybe she didn’t want to figure him out. Or figure out what this was. Or why she enjoyed asphyxiation. She tells herself that it was a (vulgar, torturous, exhilarating) form of communication. She tells herself he was just a (bad) habit, an (interminable) addiction, a favorite damn disease.
♪Deep inside of you - Third Eye Blind
Sometimes, Sakura thinks, that Sasuke liked playing the loner--the tragic character; not quite a hero, but not quite a villain either.
Not quite anything, in fact--or at least, that’s how she thought he felt if that sometimes far-off, distant, not-quite-there expression on his face was any indication. Only a bit empty.
He wouldn’t meet their eyes these days. Sakura notices, even if Sasuke thinks she doesn’t, and speculates it’s because he sees something of his past self in them when he does. Sees a person who’s no longer there. Dead and buried, and forgotten.
But Sakura knows better.
(Hey, Sasuke-kun? Deep inside of you I can still see something left. Even if you can’t.)
♪Just a little girl - Age of Information/Trading Yesterday
Sakura wonders if he’d try to keep whatever frail connection they had had alive, and knows he wouldn’t. He had never cared to see the other side--but wasn’t there only one?--of their one-sided relationship, so why would he?
Some part of her recognizes that he never meant for her to feel this way. Or never meant to make anyone care enough for that matter, because--
--because some part of him had always recognized he would leave, and if that happened, he couldn’t bear to explain to those who cared who was right, or what was wrong or why he’d done what he’d done, because--
--because they’d never understand the demons that he faced.
She would never understand, Sasuke thinks, because no matter how much she cried out her eyes, her feelings for him weren’t real
(couldn’t be real, not for someone like him).
To him, she was still just a little girl.
♪Your love is just a lie - Simple Plan
Sasuke doesn’t know if Sakura knows that he knows.
Oh, he knows very well--what she does with Naruto when he’s not there. But he chooses to keep quiet, even though he can hear the guilt in her voice and can see right through her. And because he can see right through her, he knows that if he says anything, it’d destroy them--and more importantly, destroy her, because Sasuke knows she needs them both to feel whole.
Sasuke wonders if both of them are just that good that she can’t keep away from either. He wonders who’s better. But poetically put, her heart is big enough for two abandoned orphans.
So he’ll keep quiet even though he knows her love for him--only him, as she claims--is a lie. Because, nobody’s ever really loved him before and as much as he hates that he has to share, he needs it. And so does Naruto. So he’ll keep quiet and take whatever he can get.
♪Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
All his life, Sasuke has used people.
He used Kakashi to learn the chidori, the move on which all his lightning element attacks are based.
Itachi--Itachi’s betrayal, he used as a target, a goal and then as an excuse to run away.
Kabuto, to learn about poisons, to perfect his snake summons, to learn manipulation.
He used Orochimaru as a means to an end-the fastest available way to get enough power to quench the bloodlust sizzling like electricity his veins.
Juugo, he used, to learn more about the curse seal and because sometimes, base animal instincts win fights sheer skill cannot.
Suigetsu was an easy recruit meant to distract Kisame so he could fight Itachi uninterrupted.
Karin, he recruited, because she followed orders and never got in the way and was convenient, and to finally track down the murderous scum and kill him. (When she did get in the way, he stabbed a hole through her chest.)
He used Madara to tap into the potential of his Sharingan, and in the process, find out half-truths about a noble brother.
Itachi--this time, he used Itachi’s death as an excuse to unleash hatred, kept and nurtured under tight control, on Konoha and to watch everything burn, like he burned inside.
There are only two people he’s never used.
♪Pictures of you - The Last Goodbye
Before he leaves, he takes out a wash cloth with threads fraying at the edges and wets it with the same brand of varnish Mikoto often applied to lend a shine to all his miniature kunai set.
He rubs along the edges of the wooden frame, wipes the glass until that speck of dust congealing stubbornly over Kakashi’s eye disappears, then works out tufts of spider-webs from inside the crook nestled in pointed square corners.
Sasuke takes one last look at it, sees a flash of moonlight streak across the glass, alighting the silver of their forehead protectors as if to remind him one last time of what he could’ve had, what they could’ve been.
He sets it down and walks away, footsteps light but heart heavy. He doesn’t look back.
But even after all these years, he sometimes wonders what happened to that picture frame he left face down on a cupboard against the wall.
♪Fairytale - Southwest Static
Once upon a time, there was a princess and there was her protector, a dashingly handsome knight with a dark past. There was also a pet fox who was fiercely loyal to the princess.
Since both the fox and the royal knight (even though he would never admit it) cared deeply for the princess, they often spent time together, to keep the princess company. They were an odd threesome, and by all logical reason, they never should have gotten along. But much to everyone’s surprise, they formed a bond that defied expectations in places both high and low. It made many wonder, if perhaps, they were not the second coming of the Legendary Scholars of their time.
But then one day, the knight left on a quest for revenge, to do right by his murdered kin. The princess was heartbroken. Unable to see his beloved mistress in grief, the fox ran after the knight who had so cruelly abandoned her, promising to bring him back.
It took a long time, Sakura tells Ino’s firstborn, but in the end, they both came back.
(But not all fairytales end that way.)
♪On the Way Down - Ryan Cabrera
There was only a slice of watery sunlight filtering in through the mourning clouds of a sky on fire. As he walked, taking one step after another, it didn’t exactly feel cold on his face, but it lacked warmth.
He didn’t know how long he had been walking--just gliding past the destruction like a specter--or if he had been walking at all; just moving forward one step after another. One tired, stumbling, disillusioned step after another until his feet finally hit the edge, until he heard grains of rock hit the pit of the cavernous trench at different intervals, until he was staring straight into the heart of darkness.
Empty, just like him. So when Sasuke closed his eyes, and took that final step forward, he only heard the whisper of the wind, felt its embrace and a sense of clam, as if reaching towards something familiar (as if going back home).
When the ground finally rushed up to meet him halfway, it was painless.
(On the way down, it was your face I saw. I won’t forget the way you loved me.)
♪Sacrifice - Elton John
It wasn’t a matter of happiness--or choice, for that matter. So, all things considered, technically, he was just carrying out his duty, doing as he was told (his life wasn’t his own), agreeing to a future (a charade) with a demure porcelain doll, the perfect brooding mare.
Speaking wouldn’t have made much difference, if any.
(It wouldn’t have, he told himself.)
So by remaining silent, he hadn’t sacrificed anything.
But sometimes, jealousy came calling when he watched them walk side by side. There was admiration in Hinata’s eyes, coupled with love; and adoration in Naruto’s. All the things he could never give her.
So really, it was pointless to even think about a could-have-been future.
Both Hinata’s and Neji’s lives have a shape now. And in between their lives, their separate lives, there are boundaries, invisible but increasing by the day. Now, they’re just strangers, two hearts living in two separate worlds, just like a million others.
So by remaining silent, he had sacrificed nothing--only a chance at happiness.
♪One last kiss - Madina Lake
A few stray strands of pink obscured her face. Sasuke’s fingers twitched as he dragged them away from her face.
It wasn’t often that he saw her like this, without the cheerful mask she always put on around him or the worry she failed so often to hide. It wasn’t often that he thought her beautiful either, with tears streaming down a face slack with unconsciousness and grief.
He paused, for a heartbeat and it was without thought, on selfish instinct that Sasuke leaned forwards and pressed his lips against hers for the briefest moments.
Or perhaps it wasn’t selfish, because he was giving a small part of himself away, leaving that part behind with her. Even if she wasn’t his first, she could be his last.
♪Lying in the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off - Panic!at the Disco
So maybe he was more drunk than he had originally thought when he had shoved his ex/best friend/soul mate/something, but really just on-and-off boyfriend to the back of the passenger seat and started making out with him. And maybe someone up there really hated his maverick guts or he wouldn’t be in this particular situation now. Just thinking of the consequences made his head spin. Sasuke would never stop smirking, the smug bastard.
But right now, Sasuke was moaning beneath him and muttering stupid, stupid, stupid and his hands were shaking, fumbling with impatience, as he slid off Naruto’s T-shirt and maybe, he would think about the consequences later, because he really couldn’t be bothered to give a fuck about them now.
A nip on his shoulder, and then Sasuke was yanking his pants down and brazenly grinding up against him, and oh--oh. Naruto choked on a gasp.
Okay, so maybe they should break up more often if the make-up sex was going to be this amazing every time.
I can't believe I wrote SasuNaru for this song. DX
--Press stop--
Looks like I was on a SasuSaku kick with this one. Oh god, why is there so much Sasuke in this. Why. And what was I thinking when I wrote Figured you Out. Ugh. That aside, I'd love some music recs for Incubus and Red. Or anything angsty Sasuke-esque for that matter.
Genre: Angst/Romace/Gen
Rating: M, because the characters need some angsty sexytimez.
Warnings: Overuse of dashes because it's the cool thing to do, yo. And Sasuke. why do I always fuck up his character. Why. DX
AN: Ugh, this is the fourth time I'm doing this meme. Hence, the title. I couldn't think of anything else. >.>;; But time for confessions: This underwent editing when I typed in "bexause" instead of "because" I did that a lot and I ran out of steam somewhere around Pictures of you, so I slumped, let some songs drift by before resuming. Use Somebody was expanded during edits, because I couldn't resist. Other than that, I followed the rules like a good girl, see?
And obviously, this is full of indulgent Sasuke character ramblings as usual. I've been craving some awesome music lately, and this is the result:
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it’s over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten eleven of these, then post them.
♪Figured you out - Nickelback
Loving Sasuke was something like habit. Or perhaps just a terminal illness. A disease she didn’t have a cure for. A favorite damn disease, Sakura thinks as she feels a hot tongue flick out to lick under her breasts before tugging at the pebbled peak with impatience.
Her breaths become scarce when heated eyes look up at her. Sakura wonders how she looks to him from down there.
She couldn’t figure out where the boundary of love blurred into lust.
--(Perhaps there wasn’t a boundary, perhaps emotions came in pairs)--
She couldn’t figure him out either-or why he had come up to her that day and proposed almost nonchalantly, as if he didn’t care for the answer, that they be something like this. She had agreed because as wrong as it was, this was the only way she had left to communicate with him anymore. The only way she hadn’t tried.
--(But had always wanted to)--
Then Sasuke’s fingers graze almost lover-like up her throat, robbing her of breath and thought, and for the time being, she decides maybe she didn’t want to figure him out. Or figure out what this was. Or why she enjoyed asphyxiation. She tells herself that it was a (vulgar, torturous, exhilarating) form of communication. She tells herself he was just a (bad) habit, an (interminable) addiction, a favorite damn disease.
♪Deep inside of you - Third Eye Blind
Sometimes, Sakura thinks, that Sasuke liked playing the loner--the tragic character; not quite a hero, but not quite a villain either.
Not quite anything, in fact--or at least, that’s how she thought he felt if that sometimes far-off, distant, not-quite-there expression on his face was any indication. Only a bit empty.
He wouldn’t meet their eyes these days. Sakura notices, even if Sasuke thinks she doesn’t, and speculates it’s because he sees something of his past self in them when he does. Sees a person who’s no longer there. Dead and buried, and forgotten.
But Sakura knows better.
(Hey, Sasuke-kun? Deep inside of you I can still see something left. Even if you can’t.)
♪Just a little girl - Age of Information/Trading Yesterday
Sakura wonders if he’d try to keep whatever frail connection they had had alive, and knows he wouldn’t. He had never cared to see the other side--but wasn’t there only one?--of their one-sided relationship, so why would he?
Some part of her recognizes that he never meant for her to feel this way. Or never meant to make anyone care enough for that matter, because--
--because some part of him had always recognized he would leave, and if that happened, he couldn’t bear to explain to those who cared who was right, or what was wrong or why he’d done what he’d done, because--
--because they’d never understand the demons that he faced.
She would never understand, Sasuke thinks, because no matter how much she cried out her eyes, her feelings for him weren’t real
(couldn’t be real, not for someone like him).
To him, she was still just a little girl.
♪Your love is just a lie - Simple Plan
Sasuke doesn’t know if Sakura knows that he knows.
Oh, he knows very well--what she does with Naruto when he’s not there. But he chooses to keep quiet, even though he can hear the guilt in her voice and can see right through her. And because he can see right through her, he knows that if he says anything, it’d destroy them--and more importantly, destroy her, because Sasuke knows she needs them both to feel whole.
Sasuke wonders if both of them are just that good that she can’t keep away from either. He wonders who’s better. But poetically put, her heart is big enough for two abandoned orphans.
So he’ll keep quiet even though he knows her love for him--only him, as she claims--is a lie. Because, nobody’s ever really loved him before and as much as he hates that he has to share, he needs it. And so does Naruto. So he’ll keep quiet and take whatever he can get.
♪Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
All his life, Sasuke has used people.
He used Kakashi to learn the chidori, the move on which all his lightning element attacks are based.
Itachi--Itachi’s betrayal, he used as a target, a goal and then as an excuse to run away.
Kabuto, to learn about poisons, to perfect his snake summons, to learn manipulation.
He used Orochimaru as a means to an end-the fastest available way to get enough power to quench the bloodlust sizzling like electricity his veins.
Juugo, he used, to learn more about the curse seal and because sometimes, base animal instincts win fights sheer skill cannot.
Suigetsu was an easy recruit meant to distract Kisame so he could fight Itachi uninterrupted.
Karin, he recruited, because she followed orders and never got in the way and was convenient, and to finally track down the murderous scum and kill him. (When she did get in the way, he stabbed a hole through her chest.)
He used Madara to tap into the potential of his Sharingan, and in the process, find out half-truths about a noble brother.
Itachi--this time, he used Itachi’s death as an excuse to unleash hatred, kept and nurtured under tight control, on Konoha and to watch everything burn, like he burned inside.
There are only two people he’s never used.
♪Pictures of you - The Last Goodbye
Before he leaves, he takes out a wash cloth with threads fraying at the edges and wets it with the same brand of varnish Mikoto often applied to lend a shine to all his miniature kunai set.
He rubs along the edges of the wooden frame, wipes the glass until that speck of dust congealing stubbornly over Kakashi’s eye disappears, then works out tufts of spider-webs from inside the crook nestled in pointed square corners.
Sasuke takes one last look at it, sees a flash of moonlight streak across the glass, alighting the silver of their forehead protectors as if to remind him one last time of what he could’ve had, what they could’ve been.
He sets it down and walks away, footsteps light but heart heavy. He doesn’t look back.
But even after all these years, he sometimes wonders what happened to that picture frame he left face down on a cupboard against the wall.
♪Fairytale - Southwest Static
Once upon a time, there was a princess and there was her protector, a dashingly handsome knight with a dark past. There was also a pet fox who was fiercely loyal to the princess.
Since both the fox and the royal knight (even though he would never admit it) cared deeply for the princess, they often spent time together, to keep the princess company. They were an odd threesome, and by all logical reason, they never should have gotten along. But much to everyone’s surprise, they formed a bond that defied expectations in places both high and low. It made many wonder, if perhaps, they were not the second coming of the Legendary Scholars of their time.
But then one day, the knight left on a quest for revenge, to do right by his murdered kin. The princess was heartbroken. Unable to see his beloved mistress in grief, the fox ran after the knight who had so cruelly abandoned her, promising to bring him back.
It took a long time, Sakura tells Ino’s firstborn, but in the end, they both came back.
(But not all fairytales end that way.)
♪On the Way Down - Ryan Cabrera
There was only a slice of watery sunlight filtering in through the mourning clouds of a sky on fire. As he walked, taking one step after another, it didn’t exactly feel cold on his face, but it lacked warmth.
He didn’t know how long he had been walking--just gliding past the destruction like a specter--or if he had been walking at all; just moving forward one step after another. One tired, stumbling, disillusioned step after another until his feet finally hit the edge, until he heard grains of rock hit the pit of the cavernous trench at different intervals, until he was staring straight into the heart of darkness.
Empty, just like him. So when Sasuke closed his eyes, and took that final step forward, he only heard the whisper of the wind, felt its embrace and a sense of clam, as if reaching towards something familiar (as if going back home).
When the ground finally rushed up to meet him halfway, it was painless.
(On the way down, it was your face I saw. I won’t forget the way you loved me.)
♪Sacrifice - Elton John
It wasn’t a matter of happiness--or choice, for that matter. So, all things considered, technically, he was just carrying out his duty, doing as he was told (his life wasn’t his own), agreeing to a future (a charade) with a demure porcelain doll, the perfect brooding mare.
Speaking wouldn’t have made much difference, if any.
(It wouldn’t have, he told himself.)
So by remaining silent, he hadn’t sacrificed anything.
But sometimes, jealousy came calling when he watched them walk side by side. There was admiration in Hinata’s eyes, coupled with love; and adoration in Naruto’s. All the things he could never give her.
So really, it was pointless to even think about a could-have-been future.
Both Hinata’s and Neji’s lives have a shape now. And in between their lives, their separate lives, there are boundaries, invisible but increasing by the day. Now, they’re just strangers, two hearts living in two separate worlds, just like a million others.
So by remaining silent, he had sacrificed nothing--only a chance at happiness.
♪One last kiss - Madina Lake
A few stray strands of pink obscured her face. Sasuke’s fingers twitched as he dragged them away from her face.
It wasn’t often that he saw her like this, without the cheerful mask she always put on around him or the worry she failed so often to hide. It wasn’t often that he thought her beautiful either, with tears streaming down a face slack with unconsciousness and grief.
He paused, for a heartbeat and it was without thought, on selfish instinct that Sasuke leaned forwards and pressed his lips against hers for the briefest moments.
Or perhaps it wasn’t selfish, because he was giving a small part of himself away, leaving that part behind with her. Even if she wasn’t his first, she could be his last.
♪Lying in the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off - Panic!at the Disco
So maybe he was more drunk than he had originally thought when he had shoved his ex/best friend/soul mate/something, but really just on-and-off boyfriend to the back of the passenger seat and started making out with him. And maybe someone up there really hated his maverick guts or he wouldn’t be in this particular situation now. Just thinking of the consequences made his head spin. Sasuke would never stop smirking, the smug bastard.
But right now, Sasuke was moaning beneath him and muttering stupid, stupid, stupid and his hands were shaking, fumbling with impatience, as he slid off Naruto’s T-shirt and maybe, he would think about the consequences later, because he really couldn’t be bothered to give a fuck about them now.
A nip on his shoulder, and then Sasuke was yanking his pants down and brazenly grinding up against him, and oh--oh. Naruto choked on a gasp.
Okay, so maybe they should break up more often if the make-up sex was going to be this amazing every time.
I can't believe I wrote SasuNaru for this song. DX
--Press stop--
Looks like I was on a SasuSaku kick with this one. Oh god, why is there so much Sasuke in this. Why. And what was I thinking when I wrote Figured you Out. Ugh. That aside, I'd love some music recs for Incubus and Red. Or anything angsty Sasuke-esque for that matter.