Fic: Letting Go (Spock/Uhura)
Title: Letting Go
Pairing: Uhura/Spock
Fandom: Star Trek XI (spoilers)
Summary: She wishes that he'd occasionally take the initiative
Rating: Adult
Word Count: 2065
A/N: Response to this prompt at the Star Trek XI Anon Kink Meme.
Nyota is constantly surprised at what she continues to learn about her sexuality, about her desires, about the things that turn her on. The boundaries that used to exist have changed and become fluid. There are times when it's frightening to her, but she has stopped trying to control all the areas of her life. She maintains a separation between her professional and personal lives, and this allows her to let go in private. Spock is the perfect partner because he encourages her exploration and is supportive of her experimentation, though she occasionally wishes that he would take the initiative.
While she enjoys having control, she sometimes feels like their relationship isn’t as equal as it should be. He is always willing to do anything that she suggests, even when he obviously has doubts or questions the odds of the act being enjoyable for both of them. He hasn’t learned yet that she finds pleasure in his gratification. It isn’t logical, to him, so it’s still a block there that she has to move them around sometimes. Still, despite the detachment that he exhibits at times, he is generally accommodating to any idea she has involving sex.
Perhaps the dynamics of their relationship are a factor in how infrequently he has suggestions in the bedroom. He is a professor, after all, and she is a former student. Their relationship is secret, not because they’ve technically broken any rules but because both of them are private people. Besides, the fact that she initially kissed him when he was her professor is something that could make things difficult at the academy, even if it was just dealing with rumors and innuendos. It wasn’t until she had left his class that he had kissed her, but people rarely care to hear the truth if lies are more sensational.
“You are silent, Nyota.”
His statement is simple, but she can hear the slight change in inflection that turns the observation into a question. She has been lost in her thoughts and didn’t even hear the door open, so she requires a moment to process the fact that he is there as well as to analyze his remark. Finally, she smiles. “I have been alone,” she points out. “If you had returned to find me speaking to an empty room, you would probably believe me to be suffering from fever.”
His lips quirk, just slightly, but she notices. She notices everything about him, of course. With Spock, it is often what is not said that is the most important, so she has learned how to read him as well as she can. He can still surprise her, especially when he lets his human side guide him, but she likes that occasional unpredictability. Even if it never happens sexually.
“If I were merely addressing the fact that you are not speaking, I would have used a more appropriate word to describe the situation,” he says after a moment. “You are not merely quiet, Nyota. I have been standing here for one minute and forty-eight seconds without alerting you to my presence.”
“Maybe you’re just too sneaky,” she suggests.
“I have been accused of many things; however, sneaky has never been one of them,” he remarks thoughtfully. “To be fair, I did not speak upon entering to alert you to my arrival. I was curious at what you were thinking about so intently.”
“Ah, so you stood there for one minute and forty-eight seconds staring at me.” She looks him over slowly and can’t help smiling because it’s so good to see him. When she looks back at his face, his jaw is clenched and his gaze is intense. It’s rather powerful to cause such a reaction, especially in him, just by staring at him. “Do you have any theories regarding the possible subject of my thoughts?”
“You are displaying signs of teasing.” He arches a brow. “Do you wish for this to be foreplay or do you prefer to eat a meal before we engage in pre-sexual activity?”
“What do you want?” she asks, trying to keep her face as impassive as possible so that he doesn’t choose based on what he thinks will please her, which isn’t very easy when he’s talking like that. It really isn’t fair that he can arouse her with such technical discussions about sex. Some women get off on dirty talk, but she gets hot hearing multi-syllable words spoken in a cool tone.
He stares at her but doesn’t say anything. He just stands there looking at her in a way that makes her skin warm until, finally, he takes a step forward. “I do not believe that it is logical to eat a meal at such an early hour,” he says slowly, hesitantly. It’s a tone that she hasn’t heard from him very often, and it intrigues her.
“It isn’t?” She licks her lips and watches his face. His gaze drops to her mouth briefly, and she feels her nipples tighten from the look of hunger that flashes quickly before he conceals it. She wants him to let go, to feel safe with her like she feels with him, but he’s just so stubborn. It’s not even the Vulcan in him, though that is a large factor of it.
“It isn’t.” He steps closer. “Therefore, the most logical choice would be to engage in another activity until such a time when a meal is appropriate, based on scheduling and hunger.”
“Another activity,” she repeats. “I suppose that we could discuss the lecture that I attended this morning, if you’d like. I am also reading an interesting book on Klingon dialect that I find very informative.”
“Fascinating,” he murmurs as he gets closer. “Your skin is becoming flushed and your pupils are dilating from sexual arousal yet you continue to tease me with talk of Klingons and lectures. Why is that, Nyota?”
She tilts her head back so that she can look up at him as he reaches the sofa. “Maybe I want to hear you tell me what you want, Spock,” she says quietly. “Not what’s the most logical choice, but what you want.”
He frowns and looks honestly perplexed. “I do not understand.”
“Forget logic, just for once.” She sighs, unable to figure out the right words to tell him what she means. She can speak a variety of languages yet fails to find the words for this. Pathetic, really. “I want you to let go and tell me what you want.”
“The question is unnecessary. My answer is obvious,” he informs her as he lowers himself to the sofa beside her. He reaches up and touches her cheek, his warm skin soothing her in that odd way it does. “I want you.”
Oh. Well, then. She blinks and stares at him. It’s only three words, but that coupled with him taking the initiative to touch her first says more than hours of conversation. She smiles, somewhat sheepishly. “You have me,” she tells him.
“You were silent because you doubted this?” he asks quietly. He looks confused, even as he moves his thumb along her jawbone and spreads his fingers into her hair. “You doubted me?”
“No. That wasn’t why. I just…” She bites her lip and realizes how stupid she’ll sound if she tries to explain it. She’s too smart to behave so foolishly. “There are no doubts. I just thought that you might have something you want, like I do, is all.”
He arches a brow before he makes a subtle nod. “Ah, I believe that I now understand what you are saying. Perhaps. It is not sensible, but I have found that humans are often guided by their emotions even when they are normally rational and intelligent.”
“Is this a good time to point out that you are half-hu--“ She doesn’t get a chance to finish her reminder because his lips are suddenly on hers. His fingers tighten their grip on her hair, and she whimpers when he tugs on it. She feels the grip slacken, but she presses closer to him and returns his kiss so that he’ll know that she didn’t find it painful.
He seems to understand because he tugs on her hair again, harder, and she can’t believe the noise she makes as she writhes against him. When he pulls back from the kiss, he looks down at her. “You wish for me to let my emotions guide me, do you not?” His gaze is intense, and he gives her no chance to reply before he kisses her again and pushes her against the sofa. “For you, Nyota, I will try.” His words are warm puffs of breath against her wet lips before he nips at the bottom one.
She moans when he grinds against her, gripping his shoulders when he tugs on her hair and scrapes his teeth against her neck. She likes that, a lot. He shoves her shirt up above her breasts and it gathers under her arms, which isn’t very comfortable but his lips are all over her chest, so it’s unreasonable to complain. She arches up towards him, feeling his hand move beneath her skirt. “Oh!” She closes her eyes and gasps when he strokes her clit through her panties. In all the times they’ve had sex, he’s never been quite like this before. She doesn’t know what to expect, and that excites her.
“The sofa is not a conducive location for sexual intercourse, but it is the best option at this time,” he informs her as he lets go of the nipple that he’s been sucking and nibbling on. He smirks, just slightly, as he moves the crotch of her panties to the side and pushes his long fingers inside her. “You are very aroused, Nyota. I wonder if it is feasible for you to have an orgasm before we are joined. I believe that it is, if I continue upon this course of action.”
“Stop talking. Just fuck me,” she mutters at him, rolling her hips so that she can get more of his fingers inside her.
“Foul language is not becoming in a student of your stature. Whatever would your professors say if they could hear you speaking in such a way?” He rubs his thumb over her clit as he moves his other hand back to her hair. When he tugs on it, she bites her lip hard but he can obviously see her reaction and takes note of it. He pulls again, and she digs her fingernails into the back of his neck.
“Professor, stop teasing.” She sees his jaw clench when she calls him professor and can’t help feeling a little satisfied at knowing it turns him on when she uses it.
“I believe, Miss Uhura, that you, as they say, started it,” he informs her as he keeps moving his fingers, deeper and faster until she clenches around them. He shifts as she’s coming and slides into her, not even bothering to remove her panties or skirt. She wraps one of her legs around him and arches up to meet his thrusts, which are more forceful than usual. When he comes, he makes no noise. He shudders above her, spilling inside her, and she strokes his back, feeling the damp material of his shirt beneath her fingers.
When he finishes, he just lies on top of her for a few minutes, breathing against her neck as she holds him. He shifts finally and eases out of her, looking slightly awkward as he smoothes down her skirt and looks anywhere but at her. “Was that satisfactory?” he asks hesitantly, and she has to resist the urge to smack him for even asking such a question.
No, she can’t resist it. She hits his shoulder lightly and rolls her eyes. “More than, not that you ever need to ask me that,” she tells him.
She sits up, shoving her bra and shirt down, and leans against his side. She brushes kisses along his jaw before she presses her lips against his. While she could tell him how enjoyable it was, she knows that he finds his answers in her actions more than her words. When she pulls back, he shifts on the sofa and looks at her. She is pleased to see his lips relax into a small smile that doesn’t vanish as soon as it appears.
End
Pairing: Uhura/Spock
Fandom: Star Trek XI (spoilers)
Summary: She wishes that he'd occasionally take the initiative
Rating: Adult
Word Count: 2065
A/N: Response to this prompt at the Star Trek XI Anon Kink Meme.
Nyota is constantly surprised at what she continues to learn about her sexuality, about her desires, about the things that turn her on. The boundaries that used to exist have changed and become fluid. There are times when it's frightening to her, but she has stopped trying to control all the areas of her life. She maintains a separation between her professional and personal lives, and this allows her to let go in private. Spock is the perfect partner because he encourages her exploration and is supportive of her experimentation, though she occasionally wishes that he would take the initiative.
While she enjoys having control, she sometimes feels like their relationship isn’t as equal as it should be. He is always willing to do anything that she suggests, even when he obviously has doubts or questions the odds of the act being enjoyable for both of them. He hasn’t learned yet that she finds pleasure in his gratification. It isn’t logical, to him, so it’s still a block there that she has to move them around sometimes. Still, despite the detachment that he exhibits at times, he is generally accommodating to any idea she has involving sex.
Perhaps the dynamics of their relationship are a factor in how infrequently he has suggestions in the bedroom. He is a professor, after all, and she is a former student. Their relationship is secret, not because they’ve technically broken any rules but because both of them are private people. Besides, the fact that she initially kissed him when he was her professor is something that could make things difficult at the academy, even if it was just dealing with rumors and innuendos. It wasn’t until she had left his class that he had kissed her, but people rarely care to hear the truth if lies are more sensational.
“You are silent, Nyota.”
His statement is simple, but she can hear the slight change in inflection that turns the observation into a question. She has been lost in her thoughts and didn’t even hear the door open, so she requires a moment to process the fact that he is there as well as to analyze his remark. Finally, she smiles. “I have been alone,” she points out. “If you had returned to find me speaking to an empty room, you would probably believe me to be suffering from fever.”
His lips quirk, just slightly, but she notices. She notices everything about him, of course. With Spock, it is often what is not said that is the most important, so she has learned how to read him as well as she can. He can still surprise her, especially when he lets his human side guide him, but she likes that occasional unpredictability. Even if it never happens sexually.
“If I were merely addressing the fact that you are not speaking, I would have used a more appropriate word to describe the situation,” he says after a moment. “You are not merely quiet, Nyota. I have been standing here for one minute and forty-eight seconds without alerting you to my presence.”
“Maybe you’re just too sneaky,” she suggests.
“I have been accused of many things; however, sneaky has never been one of them,” he remarks thoughtfully. “To be fair, I did not speak upon entering to alert you to my arrival. I was curious at what you were thinking about so intently.”
“Ah, so you stood there for one minute and forty-eight seconds staring at me.” She looks him over slowly and can’t help smiling because it’s so good to see him. When she looks back at his face, his jaw is clenched and his gaze is intense. It’s rather powerful to cause such a reaction, especially in him, just by staring at him. “Do you have any theories regarding the possible subject of my thoughts?”
“You are displaying signs of teasing.” He arches a brow. “Do you wish for this to be foreplay or do you prefer to eat a meal before we engage in pre-sexual activity?”
“What do you want?” she asks, trying to keep her face as impassive as possible so that he doesn’t choose based on what he thinks will please her, which isn’t very easy when he’s talking like that. It really isn’t fair that he can arouse her with such technical discussions about sex. Some women get off on dirty talk, but she gets hot hearing multi-syllable words spoken in a cool tone.
He stares at her but doesn’t say anything. He just stands there looking at her in a way that makes her skin warm until, finally, he takes a step forward. “I do not believe that it is logical to eat a meal at such an early hour,” he says slowly, hesitantly. It’s a tone that she hasn’t heard from him very often, and it intrigues her.
“It isn’t?” She licks her lips and watches his face. His gaze drops to her mouth briefly, and she feels her nipples tighten from the look of hunger that flashes quickly before he conceals it. She wants him to let go, to feel safe with her like she feels with him, but he’s just so stubborn. It’s not even the Vulcan in him, though that is a large factor of it.
“It isn’t.” He steps closer. “Therefore, the most logical choice would be to engage in another activity until such a time when a meal is appropriate, based on scheduling and hunger.”
“Another activity,” she repeats. “I suppose that we could discuss the lecture that I attended this morning, if you’d like. I am also reading an interesting book on Klingon dialect that I find very informative.”
“Fascinating,” he murmurs as he gets closer. “Your skin is becoming flushed and your pupils are dilating from sexual arousal yet you continue to tease me with talk of Klingons and lectures. Why is that, Nyota?”
She tilts her head back so that she can look up at him as he reaches the sofa. “Maybe I want to hear you tell me what you want, Spock,” she says quietly. “Not what’s the most logical choice, but what you want.”
He frowns and looks honestly perplexed. “I do not understand.”
“Forget logic, just for once.” She sighs, unable to figure out the right words to tell him what she means. She can speak a variety of languages yet fails to find the words for this. Pathetic, really. “I want you to let go and tell me what you want.”
“The question is unnecessary. My answer is obvious,” he informs her as he lowers himself to the sofa beside her. He reaches up and touches her cheek, his warm skin soothing her in that odd way it does. “I want you.”
Oh. Well, then. She blinks and stares at him. It’s only three words, but that coupled with him taking the initiative to touch her first says more than hours of conversation. She smiles, somewhat sheepishly. “You have me,” she tells him.
“You were silent because you doubted this?” he asks quietly. He looks confused, even as he moves his thumb along her jawbone and spreads his fingers into her hair. “You doubted me?”
“No. That wasn’t why. I just…” She bites her lip and realizes how stupid she’ll sound if she tries to explain it. She’s too smart to behave so foolishly. “There are no doubts. I just thought that you might have something you want, like I do, is all.”
He arches a brow before he makes a subtle nod. “Ah, I believe that I now understand what you are saying. Perhaps. It is not sensible, but I have found that humans are often guided by their emotions even when they are normally rational and intelligent.”
“Is this a good time to point out that you are half-hu--“ She doesn’t get a chance to finish her reminder because his lips are suddenly on hers. His fingers tighten their grip on her hair, and she whimpers when he tugs on it. She feels the grip slacken, but she presses closer to him and returns his kiss so that he’ll know that she didn’t find it painful.
He seems to understand because he tugs on her hair again, harder, and she can’t believe the noise she makes as she writhes against him. When he pulls back from the kiss, he looks down at her. “You wish for me to let my emotions guide me, do you not?” His gaze is intense, and he gives her no chance to reply before he kisses her again and pushes her against the sofa. “For you, Nyota, I will try.” His words are warm puffs of breath against her wet lips before he nips at the bottom one.
She moans when he grinds against her, gripping his shoulders when he tugs on her hair and scrapes his teeth against her neck. She likes that, a lot. He shoves her shirt up above her breasts and it gathers under her arms, which isn’t very comfortable but his lips are all over her chest, so it’s unreasonable to complain. She arches up towards him, feeling his hand move beneath her skirt. “Oh!” She closes her eyes and gasps when he strokes her clit through her panties. In all the times they’ve had sex, he’s never been quite like this before. She doesn’t know what to expect, and that excites her.
“The sofa is not a conducive location for sexual intercourse, but it is the best option at this time,” he informs her as he lets go of the nipple that he’s been sucking and nibbling on. He smirks, just slightly, as he moves the crotch of her panties to the side and pushes his long fingers inside her. “You are very aroused, Nyota. I wonder if it is feasible for you to have an orgasm before we are joined. I believe that it is, if I continue upon this course of action.”
“Stop talking. Just fuck me,” she mutters at him, rolling her hips so that she can get more of his fingers inside her.
“Foul language is not becoming in a student of your stature. Whatever would your professors say if they could hear you speaking in such a way?” He rubs his thumb over her clit as he moves his other hand back to her hair. When he tugs on it, she bites her lip hard but he can obviously see her reaction and takes note of it. He pulls again, and she digs her fingernails into the back of his neck.
“Professor, stop teasing.” She sees his jaw clench when she calls him professor and can’t help feeling a little satisfied at knowing it turns him on when she uses it.
“I believe, Miss Uhura, that you, as they say, started it,” he informs her as he keeps moving his fingers, deeper and faster until she clenches around them. He shifts as she’s coming and slides into her, not even bothering to remove her panties or skirt. She wraps one of her legs around him and arches up to meet his thrusts, which are more forceful than usual. When he comes, he makes no noise. He shudders above her, spilling inside her, and she strokes his back, feeling the damp material of his shirt beneath her fingers.
When he finishes, he just lies on top of her for a few minutes, breathing against her neck as she holds him. He shifts finally and eases out of her, looking slightly awkward as he smoothes down her skirt and looks anywhere but at her. “Was that satisfactory?” he asks hesitantly, and she has to resist the urge to smack him for even asking such a question.
No, she can’t resist it. She hits his shoulder lightly and rolls her eyes. “More than, not that you ever need to ask me that,” she tells him.
She sits up, shoving her bra and shirt down, and leans against his side. She brushes kisses along his jaw before she presses her lips against his. While she could tell him how enjoyable it was, she knows that he finds his answers in her actions more than her words. When she pulls back, he shifts on the sofa and looks at her. She is pleased to see his lips relax into a small smile that doesn’t vanish as soon as it appears.
End