Fic: Stand (Kirk/McCoy)
Title: Stand
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Summary: Jim has an early meeting
Rating: Teen/PG13
Word Count: 2830
A/N: #22 in the Two Men & a Motorbike series. Follows Patience. Special thanks to florahart for helping pull thoughts out of my head & making them make sense.
The parking lot closest to the administrative building is practically deserted. There are only two cars there. Jim knows that it’s early, much too early to have received a summons here without any notice, but that doesn’t help him feel less anxious. If the lot was crowded, he’d assume that this was just something normal. However, the empty lot seems to taunt him somehow.
He stares at the building and tries to figure out why Barnett has called him here. Nothing really comes to mind. The last time they had a meeting, it was to discuss his academic suspension and the commendation. Since then, he hasn’t really done anything that’d warrant a meeting with the damn admiral. Unless Bones is right about them being recorded the other day and someone turned them in. But they weren’t actually breaking any definite rules. If that’s what it’s about, he’s never going to hear the end of it from Bones, and he’s unlikely to ever get Bones to do anything that risky again. Fuck. He can’t get kicked out of Starfleet over sex, damn it.
“I’m not nervous,” he tells Jessica even as he taps his foot on the pavement and continues to procrastinate. “If it was about the sex, Bones would be here, too. So, see, it’s not about that. You’re worrying for no reason, Jess.”
If she were alive, he knows that she’d be laughing at him.
“Graduation is in four days, and I helped save the world. They’re not going to kick me out now,” he continues. “Hell, they’d have done it the first time I hacked the system, not wait three years then do it over a blow job.” He pauses. “I hope.”
After another minute goes by, he rallies himself and slides off Jess. “Alright. I’m going in. You be good while I’m gone.” Bones is back in the lab, finishing up reports on the experiment he started Monday, but Jim wishes that he could have been here. Just in case. As he walks into the building and makes his way to Barnett’s office, he pushes aside his nerves and focuses on non-disciplinary reasons that he might have been summoned.
Yeah, nothing comes to mind by the time he reaches Barnett’s office. Still, he has to be confident because Barnett’s the type who would smell weakness and attack. He’s a bit of an asshole, but Pike seems to respect him, so that’s generally good enough in Jim’s book. There’s no one sitting at the assistant’s desk in the waiting area and Barnett’s door is closed, so he’s not entirely sure what to do. Maybe he misread the time? It’s possible, since he got the communication at seven in the damn morning, not long after Bones had left for the lab.
No, it said nine. He might have been sleepy, but he knows what a nine looks like. Before he can decide what to do, Barnett’s door opens. “Cadet Kirk. Prompt as always,” Barnett says before motioning into his office. He doesn’t have to be polite and say ‘please come in’ because he’s an Admiral, but Jim still has to bite his tongue to keep from mouthing off about manners.
“Admiral Barnett.” He nods in greeting before he enters the office. There’s no one else there, which makes him even more curious about this meeting.
“Sit,” Barnett commands as he walks behind his desk and takes his seat.
Jim sits and scans the Admiral’s desk to see if he can piece together what this meeting is about. There’s nothing on it that gives any indication, unfortunately.
“I appreciate you coming in on such short notice,” Barnett says. “I only received my orders this morning and sent you a communication immediately.”
His orders? Jim shifts slightly. “It’s not a problem, Sir. I have completed all of my classes, so I was available.”
“Yes, I am aware of that. Your final marks have been submitted,” he says, gesturing to his computer. “It’s the reason that we’re having this conversation now, in fact.”
“Sir?” Jim doesn’t understand what his classes have to do with anything. He never did anything but his best in any of them.
“After the unfortunate loss of Commander Plyla, there was a delay in final marks for your Advanced Tactics class. They were submitted yesterday, so we were able to review your school record completely,” Barnett explains. Only what he says doesn’t really explain much of anything.
“Commander Plyla was an excellent instructor,” Jim says honestly. He had been unhappy to hear about the commander’s death when they returned back to Earth because Plyla had taught him a lot about strategy and precision.
“She was,” Barnett agrees before he glances at the screen of his computer. “Your academic record is very strong, Cadet Kirk, despite the occasional disciplinary action. The remarks by your professors all seem to agree in regards to your intelligence, determination, and skill.”
“Thank you, Sir.” Jim isn’t really sure what to say to that. He’s curious what’s been said, but he can always hack into the system later if he decides that he has to know the details.
“Your recent actions in saving Admiral Pike and preventing the destruction of Earth have proven their opinions correct,” Barnett continues. Admiral Pike? When did that happen? Jim tries to focus on Barnett. “I have reviewed statements from every crew member of the USS Enterprise as well as the command tapes in order to present a complete debriefing to the Federation. Despite serving as captain for a short time, you certainly made an impression on the crew.”
Jim really has to resist the urge to ask for more details. It’s nice to hear Barnett say that, but he’s also waiting for the other shoe to drop. Barnett can’t have called him here just to pat him on the back and say ‘job well done’ weeks after they returned. He smiles. “I’m glad to hear that, Sir.”
“The meeting that I had this morning was to approve a proposed candidate for advancement to Captain of the USS Enterprise,” Barnett says as he focuses his complete attention on Jim. “The decision was not unanimous, but the majority of representatives felt that the candidate would be a good choice, albeit an unprecedented one.”
Barnett’s talking about the Enterprise, and Jim is starting to feel a nervous tension in his belly. Why would he be here if it didn’t involve him somehow? The thought of being captain again has his pulse racing, but he can’t believe it. Not until Barnett gets to the point.
“The very act of bestowing the captaincy of our flagship on a graduate fresh out of Starfleet is ludicrous to some.” Barnett purses his lips. “Others believe that it is a positive step forward, especially when academics and recent actions are reviewed. It is the decision of the United Federation of Planets that you, James T. Kirk, are hereby promoted from Cadet at Starfleet Academy to Captain of the USS Enterprise. Do you accept?”
“Seriously?” Jim blinks and tries to deal with too many emotions hitting him at once. Happiness and excitement outweigh any of the others, but he’s having a difficult time believing it. An admiral isn’t going to fuck around with him, though, so it has to be true. “Me? Captain of the Enterprise? Really?”
“This is a matter that requires the utmost seriousness,” Barnett points out. “There are those who believe that you are too young and inexperienced to be given such a responsibility. However, Admiral Pike spoke very passionately about your abilities and the possibilities for the future of the Enterprise when he presented you as his choice to replace him. The majority believe that it is the best decision for the Federation, regardless of youth and, dare I say, recklessness.”
Pike. Now it makes sense why Pike has been nagging him to attend all those boring luncheons and to impress everyone he meets. Jim knew it was to prepare him for eventually getting promoted, but he had no idea that he’d even be considered at this point in time, regardless of his abilities. Barnett is looking at him expectantly, and he grins. “Accepted, of course.”
“Very well, Captain,” Barnett says as he opens a desk drawer and removes a datapad. “The formal change of the USS Enterprise from Admiral Pike to you will occur on Saturday, during the graduation ceremony, but it was decided that I should speak you prior to that occasion because there will be much work ahead us in upcoming weeks. Upon your acceptance, the promotion is acknowledged and official. Congratulations.”
“Okay.” Jim is still reeling. If this hadn’t been so tedious, he’d think he was dreaming, but none of his dreams are ever this dull. He accepts the datapad from Barnett and sees that it contains a list of personnel files.
“My staff and I have been working out the crew assignments for the USS Enterprises since its return. As captain, you will be allowed some say in your command team, so you will find a list of potential applicants in the appropriate index.” Barnett types something into his computer. “I need for you to review the candidates and give me your choices so that decisions can be made. You will also need to approve the remainder of the crew, just to make it official.”
The next few days are going to be a pain in the ass. That much is obvious. But Jim doesn’t care because he’s a captain again. A real one, this time. Official and everything. The Enterprise is his ship. Damn, he can’t wait to tell Bones. They can celebrate tonight and stop worrying about graduation because they’re going to be able to be together now. He decides not to think too much about why that realization means just as much as his promotion.
“I already know who I’d like,” he says as he scrolls through the files on pilots. “I want the same crew that I had before. That’s my team, and a team that works well together is important. Any positions that are remaining can be filled however is necessary, but my existing crew should remain.” He frowns. “I don’t see a file for Hikaru Sulu in here.”
“Unfortunately, you can’t have the same team,” Barnett tells him. Jim looks up and frowns. “To be perfectly blunt, your inexperience and age require that your team consists of older, more experienced personnel. The majority were sold on you as captain, but not without their reservations.”
“I want Sulu, and I also want Uhura, Chekov, Scott, and even Spock, if he wants it, and all the rest, the ones who were up there fighting to save this planet and the others,” Jim tells him. “I also want Dr. McCoy as my CMO. Every one of them was critical to the mission for which I got a commendation, and asking them to serve elsewhere just because you think I'm too young is an insult.”
“It isn’t possible,” Barnett says simply. “The people that you’ve mentioned are not approved candidates. As for Dr. McCoy, there are others who have requested him, and they have seniority over you. Examine the files, Captain, and give me your choices. I have a long day ahead of me, so I can’t waste time arguing over crew.”
Bones. Others want him. But they can’t have him, damn it. He stares at the datapad and flips through files but doesn’t really pay any attention to them. He isn't trying to put his personal needs first here; this is about the best crew on the best ship--if it were just about who he was fucking, he'd only be asking for Bones, but he wants Uhura who can translate anything and Chekov who can apply a ridiculous amount of math in his head, Sulu who can fly his ship anywhere even when he's hours off of a freefall from space and Scotty who can look at a problem and see something impossible as a challenge, not a reason to stop trying. And Spock, who he saw listen to dissent and be swayed, twice, for the good of the ship. He flips through again. None of them are here, and that's just wrong.
Finally, he makes a decision and puts the datapad on the desk before he stands up. “Admiral Barnett, I would like to request that the pre-existing crew of the USS Enterprise be given the choice to continue in their positions. All of them have earned the right to prime postings as much as I have, and I can't let people's opinions of me hold up their careers. I think if you were giving Enterprise to any other captain, all of them would get those prime postings, and as someone I don't know very well yet will surely one day tell me, the good of the many outweighs the good of the few, or the one. Put them where they belong, or at least give them the choice, and I will work with you and your team to fill any remaining vacancies.”
“Captain Kirk,” Barnett says sharply. Jim continues talking without letting him interrupt. If he stops, he might not make it through this.
"I know that I might be throwing away something I want. Badly. I might be leaping before I look and that's the thing you're worried about. But it's also who I am, and it's also an example of the kind of decision I will always make. Experience is great and I look forward to getting more, but instincts and trust and loyalty, those things are important, too. I submit people who know me--and some of them don't even like me--will ride herd on me just as well as someone who doesn't, and that I'm more inclined to listen to the dissent of people I trust. I trust them with my life and my ship. So, that's what I need. I expect you'll require some time to think it over, talk to people, whatever, so I get that I'm going to have to go away and let you do that, not knowing the outcome. But if you can't at least give them the choice by Friday, then I'll have to retract my acceptance of the position of captain of the USS Enterprise.” He looks at Barnett steadily. “George Kirk and Christopher Pike have taught me that the difference between a good captain and a great one is loyalty to one's crew and the willingness to sacrifice everything for them. When I walked in here today I thought I'd give anything for this opportunity, but I was wrong. I will not do it without my crew.”
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing, Captain?” Barnett asks in a tone of disbelief.
“Yes, Sir.” Jim hopes that he does, at least. This is about loyalty, and that’s more important than a promotion, even one he’s been imagining for years. “Thank you for everything, Admiral. I’ll see myself out.”
Jim leaves the office before he can change his mind. It feels like he’s been doing aerial loops at hyperspeed. His stomach is twisted, and he’s gone from elation to anxiety during the course of fifteen minutes. When he reaches Jess, he sits down and sighs. “Well, that didn’t go too well,” he tells her. “It was the right decision, though, wasn’t it?”
As always, Jess doesn’t answer. “I think it was. Rashly decided and possibly changing my entire future, but, well, that’s me, isn’t it? Jump right in and damn the consequences.” He makes a face. “They’ll probably demote me before I even get a chance to resign. Damn it.”
He rubs the back of his neck and feels the impulse to go get drunk and then punch someone. Considering it’s not even ten in the morning, this isn’t good. Besides, he knows that that won’t change anything. It’d probably just make it worse. He blinks and bites his lip because he can actually realize that and not just do it anyway. A month ago, he wouldn’t have been this in control of himself. He knows that he’s been changing some, growing up maybe in a few ways, but the actual proof of it still catches him by surprise sometimes.
Bones is at the lab this morning, but he told Jim that he’d probably be home by lunch time. That’s still a couple of hours, though, and Jim knows that he can’t go back to the dorm. He’d end up pacing and driving himself crazy because he just threatened a damn admiral, basically, even if the threat was about his own position. Majority approval is important, because that means enough people have faith in him to do something as outrageous as promote a twenty-five year old graduating cadet directly to captain of the Federation’s flagship. He should get the crew that he wants, if that’s the case.
He starts Jessica’s engine and leaves the parking lot. “Let’s go for a ride before lunch, girl.”
End
#21: Patience | #23: Limbo
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Summary: Jim has an early meeting
Rating: Teen/PG13
Word Count: 2830
A/N: #22 in the Two Men & a Motorbike series. Follows Patience. Special thanks to florahart for helping pull thoughts out of my head & making them make sense.
The parking lot closest to the administrative building is practically deserted. There are only two cars there. Jim knows that it’s early, much too early to have received a summons here without any notice, but that doesn’t help him feel less anxious. If the lot was crowded, he’d assume that this was just something normal. However, the empty lot seems to taunt him somehow.
He stares at the building and tries to figure out why Barnett has called him here. Nothing really comes to mind. The last time they had a meeting, it was to discuss his academic suspension and the commendation. Since then, he hasn’t really done anything that’d warrant a meeting with the damn admiral. Unless Bones is right about them being recorded the other day and someone turned them in. But they weren’t actually breaking any definite rules. If that’s what it’s about, he’s never going to hear the end of it from Bones, and he’s unlikely to ever get Bones to do anything that risky again. Fuck. He can’t get kicked out of Starfleet over sex, damn it.
“I’m not nervous,” he tells Jessica even as he taps his foot on the pavement and continues to procrastinate. “If it was about the sex, Bones would be here, too. So, see, it’s not about that. You’re worrying for no reason, Jess.”
If she were alive, he knows that she’d be laughing at him.
“Graduation is in four days, and I helped save the world. They’re not going to kick me out now,” he continues. “Hell, they’d have done it the first time I hacked the system, not wait three years then do it over a blow job.” He pauses. “I hope.”
After another minute goes by, he rallies himself and slides off Jess. “Alright. I’m going in. You be good while I’m gone.” Bones is back in the lab, finishing up reports on the experiment he started Monday, but Jim wishes that he could have been here. Just in case. As he walks into the building and makes his way to Barnett’s office, he pushes aside his nerves and focuses on non-disciplinary reasons that he might have been summoned.
Yeah, nothing comes to mind by the time he reaches Barnett’s office. Still, he has to be confident because Barnett’s the type who would smell weakness and attack. He’s a bit of an asshole, but Pike seems to respect him, so that’s generally good enough in Jim’s book. There’s no one sitting at the assistant’s desk in the waiting area and Barnett’s door is closed, so he’s not entirely sure what to do. Maybe he misread the time? It’s possible, since he got the communication at seven in the damn morning, not long after Bones had left for the lab.
No, it said nine. He might have been sleepy, but he knows what a nine looks like. Before he can decide what to do, Barnett’s door opens. “Cadet Kirk. Prompt as always,” Barnett says before motioning into his office. He doesn’t have to be polite and say ‘please come in’ because he’s an Admiral, but Jim still has to bite his tongue to keep from mouthing off about manners.
“Admiral Barnett.” He nods in greeting before he enters the office. There’s no one else there, which makes him even more curious about this meeting.
“Sit,” Barnett commands as he walks behind his desk and takes his seat.
Jim sits and scans the Admiral’s desk to see if he can piece together what this meeting is about. There’s nothing on it that gives any indication, unfortunately.
“I appreciate you coming in on such short notice,” Barnett says. “I only received my orders this morning and sent you a communication immediately.”
His orders? Jim shifts slightly. “It’s not a problem, Sir. I have completed all of my classes, so I was available.”
“Yes, I am aware of that. Your final marks have been submitted,” he says, gesturing to his computer. “It’s the reason that we’re having this conversation now, in fact.”
“Sir?” Jim doesn’t understand what his classes have to do with anything. He never did anything but his best in any of them.
“After the unfortunate loss of Commander Plyla, there was a delay in final marks for your Advanced Tactics class. They were submitted yesterday, so we were able to review your school record completely,” Barnett explains. Only what he says doesn’t really explain much of anything.
“Commander Plyla was an excellent instructor,” Jim says honestly. He had been unhappy to hear about the commander’s death when they returned back to Earth because Plyla had taught him a lot about strategy and precision.
“She was,” Barnett agrees before he glances at the screen of his computer. “Your academic record is very strong, Cadet Kirk, despite the occasional disciplinary action. The remarks by your professors all seem to agree in regards to your intelligence, determination, and skill.”
“Thank you, Sir.” Jim isn’t really sure what to say to that. He’s curious what’s been said, but he can always hack into the system later if he decides that he has to know the details.
“Your recent actions in saving Admiral Pike and preventing the destruction of Earth have proven their opinions correct,” Barnett continues. Admiral Pike? When did that happen? Jim tries to focus on Barnett. “I have reviewed statements from every crew member of the USS Enterprise as well as the command tapes in order to present a complete debriefing to the Federation. Despite serving as captain for a short time, you certainly made an impression on the crew.”
Jim really has to resist the urge to ask for more details. It’s nice to hear Barnett say that, but he’s also waiting for the other shoe to drop. Barnett can’t have called him here just to pat him on the back and say ‘job well done’ weeks after they returned. He smiles. “I’m glad to hear that, Sir.”
“The meeting that I had this morning was to approve a proposed candidate for advancement to Captain of the USS Enterprise,” Barnett says as he focuses his complete attention on Jim. “The decision was not unanimous, but the majority of representatives felt that the candidate would be a good choice, albeit an unprecedented one.”
Barnett’s talking about the Enterprise, and Jim is starting to feel a nervous tension in his belly. Why would he be here if it didn’t involve him somehow? The thought of being captain again has his pulse racing, but he can’t believe it. Not until Barnett gets to the point.
“The very act of bestowing the captaincy of our flagship on a graduate fresh out of Starfleet is ludicrous to some.” Barnett purses his lips. “Others believe that it is a positive step forward, especially when academics and recent actions are reviewed. It is the decision of the United Federation of Planets that you, James T. Kirk, are hereby promoted from Cadet at Starfleet Academy to Captain of the USS Enterprise. Do you accept?”
“Seriously?” Jim blinks and tries to deal with too many emotions hitting him at once. Happiness and excitement outweigh any of the others, but he’s having a difficult time believing it. An admiral isn’t going to fuck around with him, though, so it has to be true. “Me? Captain of the Enterprise? Really?”
“This is a matter that requires the utmost seriousness,” Barnett points out. “There are those who believe that you are too young and inexperienced to be given such a responsibility. However, Admiral Pike spoke very passionately about your abilities and the possibilities for the future of the Enterprise when he presented you as his choice to replace him. The majority believe that it is the best decision for the Federation, regardless of youth and, dare I say, recklessness.”
Pike. Now it makes sense why Pike has been nagging him to attend all those boring luncheons and to impress everyone he meets. Jim knew it was to prepare him for eventually getting promoted, but he had no idea that he’d even be considered at this point in time, regardless of his abilities. Barnett is looking at him expectantly, and he grins. “Accepted, of course.”
“Very well, Captain,” Barnett says as he opens a desk drawer and removes a datapad. “The formal change of the USS Enterprise from Admiral Pike to you will occur on Saturday, during the graduation ceremony, but it was decided that I should speak you prior to that occasion because there will be much work ahead us in upcoming weeks. Upon your acceptance, the promotion is acknowledged and official. Congratulations.”
“Okay.” Jim is still reeling. If this hadn’t been so tedious, he’d think he was dreaming, but none of his dreams are ever this dull. He accepts the datapad from Barnett and sees that it contains a list of personnel files.
“My staff and I have been working out the crew assignments for the USS Enterprises since its return. As captain, you will be allowed some say in your command team, so you will find a list of potential applicants in the appropriate index.” Barnett types something into his computer. “I need for you to review the candidates and give me your choices so that decisions can be made. You will also need to approve the remainder of the crew, just to make it official.”
The next few days are going to be a pain in the ass. That much is obvious. But Jim doesn’t care because he’s a captain again. A real one, this time. Official and everything. The Enterprise is his ship. Damn, he can’t wait to tell Bones. They can celebrate tonight and stop worrying about graduation because they’re going to be able to be together now. He decides not to think too much about why that realization means just as much as his promotion.
“I already know who I’d like,” he says as he scrolls through the files on pilots. “I want the same crew that I had before. That’s my team, and a team that works well together is important. Any positions that are remaining can be filled however is necessary, but my existing crew should remain.” He frowns. “I don’t see a file for Hikaru Sulu in here.”
“Unfortunately, you can’t have the same team,” Barnett tells him. Jim looks up and frowns. “To be perfectly blunt, your inexperience and age require that your team consists of older, more experienced personnel. The majority were sold on you as captain, but not without their reservations.”
“I want Sulu, and I also want Uhura, Chekov, Scott, and even Spock, if he wants it, and all the rest, the ones who were up there fighting to save this planet and the others,” Jim tells him. “I also want Dr. McCoy as my CMO. Every one of them was critical to the mission for which I got a commendation, and asking them to serve elsewhere just because you think I'm too young is an insult.”
“It isn’t possible,” Barnett says simply. “The people that you’ve mentioned are not approved candidates. As for Dr. McCoy, there are others who have requested him, and they have seniority over you. Examine the files, Captain, and give me your choices. I have a long day ahead of me, so I can’t waste time arguing over crew.”
Bones. Others want him. But they can’t have him, damn it. He stares at the datapad and flips through files but doesn’t really pay any attention to them. He isn't trying to put his personal needs first here; this is about the best crew on the best ship--if it were just about who he was fucking, he'd only be asking for Bones, but he wants Uhura who can translate anything and Chekov who can apply a ridiculous amount of math in his head, Sulu who can fly his ship anywhere even when he's hours off of a freefall from space and Scotty who can look at a problem and see something impossible as a challenge, not a reason to stop trying. And Spock, who he saw listen to dissent and be swayed, twice, for the good of the ship. He flips through again. None of them are here, and that's just wrong.
Finally, he makes a decision and puts the datapad on the desk before he stands up. “Admiral Barnett, I would like to request that the pre-existing crew of the USS Enterprise be given the choice to continue in their positions. All of them have earned the right to prime postings as much as I have, and I can't let people's opinions of me hold up their careers. I think if you were giving Enterprise to any other captain, all of them would get those prime postings, and as someone I don't know very well yet will surely one day tell me, the good of the many outweighs the good of the few, or the one. Put them where they belong, or at least give them the choice, and I will work with you and your team to fill any remaining vacancies.”
“Captain Kirk,” Barnett says sharply. Jim continues talking without letting him interrupt. If he stops, he might not make it through this.
"I know that I might be throwing away something I want. Badly. I might be leaping before I look and that's the thing you're worried about. But it's also who I am, and it's also an example of the kind of decision I will always make. Experience is great and I look forward to getting more, but instincts and trust and loyalty, those things are important, too. I submit people who know me--and some of them don't even like me--will ride herd on me just as well as someone who doesn't, and that I'm more inclined to listen to the dissent of people I trust. I trust them with my life and my ship. So, that's what I need. I expect you'll require some time to think it over, talk to people, whatever, so I get that I'm going to have to go away and let you do that, not knowing the outcome. But if you can't at least give them the choice by Friday, then I'll have to retract my acceptance of the position of captain of the USS Enterprise.” He looks at Barnett steadily. “George Kirk and Christopher Pike have taught me that the difference between a good captain and a great one is loyalty to one's crew and the willingness to sacrifice everything for them. When I walked in here today I thought I'd give anything for this opportunity, but I was wrong. I will not do it without my crew.”
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing, Captain?” Barnett asks in a tone of disbelief.
“Yes, Sir.” Jim hopes that he does, at least. This is about loyalty, and that’s more important than a promotion, even one he’s been imagining for years. “Thank you for everything, Admiral. I’ll see myself out.”
Jim leaves the office before he can change his mind. It feels like he’s been doing aerial loops at hyperspeed. His stomach is twisted, and he’s gone from elation to anxiety during the course of fifteen minutes. When he reaches Jess, he sits down and sighs. “Well, that didn’t go too well,” he tells her. “It was the right decision, though, wasn’t it?”
As always, Jess doesn’t answer. “I think it was. Rashly decided and possibly changing my entire future, but, well, that’s me, isn’t it? Jump right in and damn the consequences.” He makes a face. “They’ll probably demote me before I even get a chance to resign. Damn it.”
He rubs the back of his neck and feels the impulse to go get drunk and then punch someone. Considering it’s not even ten in the morning, this isn’t good. Besides, he knows that that won’t change anything. It’d probably just make it worse. He blinks and bites his lip because he can actually realize that and not just do it anyway. A month ago, he wouldn’t have been this in control of himself. He knows that he’s been changing some, growing up maybe in a few ways, but the actual proof of it still catches him by surprise sometimes.
Bones is at the lab this morning, but he told Jim that he’d probably be home by lunch time. That’s still a couple of hours, though, and Jim knows that he can’t go back to the dorm. He’d end up pacing and driving himself crazy because he just threatened a damn admiral, basically, even if the threat was about his own position. Majority approval is important, because that means enough people have faith in him to do something as outrageous as promote a twenty-five year old graduating cadet directly to captain of the Federation’s flagship. He should get the crew that he wants, if that’s the case.
He starts Jessica’s engine and leaves the parking lot. “Let’s go for a ride before lunch, girl.”
End
#21: Patience | #23: Limbo