&it is amazing-- This love I have for you&you&you
&yo!u>>> & how it is leaving me.

Keep cutting my fingers, too many months late- this is too late//too late. My belly still falls from underneath me and I want to turn my hands into hooks and latch onto the memories. [The reality] I want you to love me again, love me again you(are)(we?re)the only one who knew how...

There are things in life that are always present, for each person these things obviously vary. Usually one is not constant (if ever) aware of these things:: They are the memories you dream about, yet promptly forget as soon as you open your eyes. They are hesitations- the way you pause when the weather feels a certain way. They are every deja-vu. ( Read more... )

If I could write words while sleeping I'd be sleep walking through the halls of my body: hollow and thinning. Cold sweats and kicks. There are kittens that want to be dentists to the right of me and a pile of stolen lighters to the left. Culterfest newspaper print. Telephone 5/0/3 memory blanks. 21st century memory blanks. I am not sleeping.

My toe is the size of texas: Screaming, "Don't mess...! Dont mess...! Don't mess!"____Yo!u are a mess//Everything is a mess.

...What a fucking waste. If i didn't know you, I'd think you were a worthless sack of narcissistic shit. And I fucking love you. and I fucking LOVE YOU. You are the slick wooden deck to these lungs of mine. What a fucking waste...

Girl writes like a boy. Boy's hair looks like a girls... Let's make love, and make sure who's who. Gender gender send Miss Mary Mac right over. Playing the game of life- Girl doesn't care anymore. She just wants love, she just wants life...

So I just left everyone behind, and I can't stop listening to Pulp "This is Hardcore", this choke, I miss you. I love you. I panic. This sleep is so hard. Crying into my striped t-shirt. And it's only a month but it feels so long now... only an hour into this. I won't make it. Feels like I've got to give up on all of you//Feels like I can't depend ( Read more... )

Three a.m. comes so effortlessly to close the days. And the lights that guard these hours of mine fade with my cold teeth and bleeding gums. &She falls asleep in v.h.s. light//face all blue and yellow, those yellows around her fingers that guard her hesitations. &She goes out after nights of broken glass. &She loves me so much that it drowns me. My ( Read more... )

I was writing you e-mails everyday: O's following L's, concluding with E's, never forgetting to throw in the V's. &How many of them, in return, did I recieve??!?? You were right, you are that needle I used once and threw away. But- not because I bought a box of 100...Because you wanted it that way

(?)