Real Person Fic - J2: Nobility's True Badge [Part 1/2]
Title: Nobility’s True Badge
Fandom: Real Person Fic - J2
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: Schmoop
Rating: NC-17 for Explicit Sexual Content, Language, Alcohol Consumption, and Gratuitous Shakespeare/Literature References
Word Count: 17,722
Author’s Note: Written for no other reason than because scorpiod1 is really cute and said so (well, and the “coffee shop” square on my schmoop_bingo card). This story has nothing original or interesting to say, it’s mostly just me venting from a year of working in a bookstore café. No, I didn’t think it was a good idea, either. But fuck is scorpiod1 cute when she begs. *_* Title was stolen from Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus and relentlessly made a joke out of throughout the story. Because if you can’t be self-indulgent in the middle of the summer, when can you be? A massive thank you to the lovely kiwiana for the speedy beta!
Summary: AU: Jared works in a bookshop café, Jensen walks in on the wrong night. And then just keeps walking in.
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PODFIC ♬ AUDIOBOOK
Jared likes his job. Really, he does. He doesn’t love it; nobody loves these kinds of jobs with any real passion. But Jared is good at what he does, he likes the people he works with-it’s not his dream, but as far as acts of desperation in a bad economy go, this isn’t so bad.
But there are days. There are days when Jared wants to pour hot drinks on the customers who complain, introduce his boss to the dangers of working with a grill, and then steal half the books in the store as compensation while making a mad dash for the door. Today is one of those days. In fact, if Jared tried to record everything that has gone wrong today, it would fill a solid hundred pages and immediately be recognized as a tragedy of Shakespearian proportions. And not one of those sissy tragedies like Romeo and Juliet-it’s not even hovering around Macbeth on the misery scale. Today is full-on Titus Andronicus levels of suck.
Ok, Jared is feeling a little bit dramatic.
He’s been working in the café since opening; he should have gotten off around 3, but got called to pick up an extra shift a few hours later. Jared can’t afford to turn paid hours down, so he found himself back in his apron by 6:30 and has been slaving away-by himself because Sandy called in sick again-since. It’s a three person job and Jared’s been at it for almost twelve hours. Which would be enough to kick him into a pretty sour mood on its own.
Add to the overtime the fact that one of the espresso machines chose this week to break and the patrons seem to have been given instructions at the door to be even more impossible about their coffee than usual (which, honestly, he wouldn’t put it past the head manager), and Jared has rarely in his life felt so justified to go on a killing spree.
It’s almost over, though-that’s the good news. It’s 10:15 and Jared figures no one orders coffee after 10 o’clock on a Monday. What could possibly go wrong in 45 minutes that hasn’t already gone wrong today?
Jared has always been kind of stupid about optimism.
A man and his wife approach the counter; Jared’s gotten pretty good at reading customers by now and in the back of his head, red flags go up when he spots them. He’s really got no choice but to smile his best “I don’t hate you” smile and take their order.
“Welcome to Badgers and Nobility café, what can I get for you?”
The lady hangs back. “Nothing for me, thank you.”
“I’ll have a venti cappuccino, whole milk.”
Jared’s smile nearly slips but he swallows it back, all the while pondering how likely the guy is to be able to taste the difference between whole milk and skim. Making cappuccinos is annoying enough when you don’t have to make an extra-large cup worth of foam out of whole milk, but Jared is a professional and dammit, he will make this drink regardless of the fact that he really doesn’t feel like it.
“Sure,” Jared says marking the cup. “Can I interest you in anything else? We have some freshly baked scones-”
“No,” the guy snaps and Jared doesn’t take offense to that-even he’s annoyed by the question, but it’s his job to ask, so he does it.
Three minutes later the same guy approaches the counter, scowling like Jared just punched his baby. Jared knows exactly what his complaint is going to be before the man even opens his mouth. Half of the people who order cappuccinos have no idea what they’re asking for; they just think the name sounds classy. Jared can chuckle silently at that most days, but today is just not one of those days.
“Hey, kid, what kind of joke is this? Feel how light this cup is. It’s half foam.”
“Uhh, yes, sir. You ordered a cappuccino. That’s what a cappuccino is,” Jared does his best to say this in a calm voice and keep his belittling tone at a minimum.
The wife appears at his side then, looking like she knows there’s going to be trouble and just wants to prevent bloodshed.
“This isn’t what I ordered,” he says.
“This isn’t what he wanted,” the wife amends.
“Okay! No problem. Why don’t you tell me what you want and I’ll call up one of the managers to refund you for this and charge you for the new drink?”
“Well, I told you what I wanted and you messed it up, but it sounds to me like you damn well need some supervision.”
Jared’s fists clench under the counter. “Okay, explain to me in really little words and I’m sure I’ll get it right this time.”
“I just want coffee.”
“Okay, one coffee, no problem. Did you want to keep that venti?” Jared asks, heading for the coffee pump.
“No, not that, I want it from the espresso machine.”
“Like a latte?”
“No, I know what a latte is, I would have asked for a latte if I wanted one. I just want the espresso.”
“Solo or double shot?”
“Whichever one has more caffeine.”
Jared takes a deep breath, sets the machine for a double shot of espresso, and heads for the phone. Seeing that the current manager on duty is Steve the Asshole, Jared decides to call the head cashier to bail him out instead.
“Yeah, what?”
“Misha, it’s Jared in the café. I need you to come up here for a refund. World’s biggest asshole, just so you’re prepared.”
“All you do is bring me is problems,” Misha says with a sigh.
“Please, you only work here on the hope that I’ll give you an excuse to come see me.” Jared hangs up and returns to the register, grabbing the espresso on the way.
“Here you go, sir. Manager should be up to settle the refund any moment.”
“What the fuck is this?”
“A double shot of espresso?”
“This is two sips of coffee!”
“That’s how we sell straight-up espresso.”
“Are you some kind of idiot?”
Misha walks in at this point and instantly slips behind the counter, smiling indulgently.
“What seems to be the problem?”
“The service here sucks, that’s the problem.”
“Why don’t I help you instead? What are you looking for?”
“I want some goddamn espresso in a decent serving. This kid keeps trying to pass bullshit off on me.”
“I see.” Misha looks at the two abandoned drinks on the counter and sums up the situation.
“Sir, I think what you’re looking for is a mocha,” he says with perfect conviction.
“That’s exactly it! Told the kid that four times.”
Misha nods sympathetically and grabs a venti cup, marking the side with “Get this dumb asshole a latte.” Jared stifles his snort with some effort and immediately gets to work.
Misha finishes up quickly and Jared hands off the drink. The customer takes a sip and makes a satisfied sound as he stomps out, wife trailing behind him. It’s only then that Jared realizes there’s someone else who’s been waiting in line through the whole fiasco and who probably has Jared figured for a moron.
Jared doesn’t even look up. He’s given up all hope of being friendly tonight; he just wants to survive his last half hour.
“What do you want?”
There’s a quiet chuckle from the other side of the counter before a deep, rich voice says, “What a dick.”
Jared finally looks at his customer and then gets a rush of that “I want to sink into the floor” feeling that happens when the most beautiful man on the planet walks into your place of employment and you’re not only wearing a stupid hat and an apron, but are also rude to him for no discernable reason.
“Uhh, yeah. I’m so sorry…for the wait.”
“Hey, no problem. I worked as a waiter at a café through grad school. Not exactly the same thing, but I imagine the assholes are about the same.”
Jared laughs with relief and smiles-his first real smile all day.
“Yeah, probably.”
“Don’t look so sorry, man. I’ve been there. You did a great job putting up with it.”
“Hah, thanks. So what would you like?”
“How about a tall coffee?”
Jared could kiss the man for going out of his way to order something easy, but decides that kiss-raping the nice, pretty patron is probably not as good an idea in the long run as it seems to be when he’s staring at the guy’s mouth.
“Yeah, definitely, one second.”
Jared fills a cup and carries it back to the register.
“Would you like anything to go with that like a coffee cake?” Jared says it all in one breath, hoping the guy won’t hear it.
“Wow, they’ve got you upsizing, too, huh?” He makes no effort to hide how amused he is by Jared’s pain.
“Yes. Yes, they do.”
“I promise I’m not here to get you fired.”
He hands over the change for his coffee and then looks around, confusion written all over his face. “Where’s the tip jar?”
“We aren’t allowed to solicit the customers,” Jared says, leaning in confidentially.
“You can’t accept tips?”
“Didn’t say that. We just aren’t allowed to ask for them.”
“Ah, I see. Well, then, this is for you.” He slides a five dollar bill across the counter and Jared doesn’t move to touch it.
“You’re tipping over 300%.”
“I’m covering the last guy, too. He forgot.” The guy winks and walks out before Jared has a chance to complain and Jared decides that it’s okay that he’s hallucinating, because they’re nice hallucinations and they leave behind real money.
_______________________________________________________________
Jared’s got an afternoon shift a few days later and he’s had some time to get over how bad Monday night had been. They’re having a slow day, so he’s hanging back eating shit with Danneel when Sandy shows up.
She bounces in, seven minutes late, fluttering her eyelashes and smiling her giant smile. Once again, she is too damn adorable for Jared to stay annoyed, but he does his best to scowl, anyway.
“Jared, baby, the love of my life, how long has it been?”
“Longer than it was supposed to be since you fucking abandoned me. Again.”
“Oh, that little thing? Well, I swear I have a really good reason this time.”
“What’s his name?” Danneel asks.
“Tom. We’re soul mates.”
“Until you get bored, at least,” Jared says, sticking his tongue out.
“Could that be the familiar sound of Jared being bitter that he’s the only person on the planet who doesn’t know how to have a real relationship?”
“Why, yes, Danneel, I believe it is!”
“I hate both of you. So much.”
“Okay, so, who wants to hear about my husband Tom?”
“No one,” Danneel says without a moment’s hesitation. “Jared here was just about to invent a conversation topic so we wouldn’t have to hear about him. Jared, what have you got?”
“Actually, I do have something to tell you guys about. Except that Sandy’s going to be so jealous she called out on Monday…I don’t want to hurt her feelings…”
“You can actually make her regret Tom? Please share.”
Twenty minutes later, Jared has told them all about the asshole and the mystery guy and is still fielding questions.
“Okay, but when you say gorgeous, how gorgeous are we talking?” Sandy asks, clearly trying to gauge how upset she is about missing it.
“He was Helen of Troy with a penis.”
Danneel makes an appreciative sound and Sandy rolls her eyes.
“Okay, first of all, geek,” Sandy says. Jared and Danneel both make ‘well, duh’ faces.
“And second of all,” Danneel jumps in. “Why did you not fuck him?”
They hear a throat clear from the register. Danneel turns, poised to do her standard “I don’t give a shit if I offended you” routine, when she freezes.
“Hello again,” the man says, eyes locked on Jared.
Jared blushes. “Uh, hi.”
“Helen of Troy?” Danneel whispers at Jared and he nods as subtly as he can.
“Oh, fuck my life,” Sandy says, throwing her hands up in the air. “I have to go bake. Only baking will make this better.”
She storms towards the kitchen. The guy quirks an eyebrow and Jared shakes his head.
“Long story. Coffee?”
“Think you can handle something a little more serious this time?”
Jared decides to swallow the hundreds of pick-up lines popping up in his head and nods.
“Could you make me a venti extra-extra caramel frap with whipped cream?”
“A sweet tooth, I see.”
“You caught me,” the man says guiltily.
“Let me guess: you’re on a diet of some kind and have decided that, while you’re cheating, you might as well cheat spectacularly.”
“Am I that obvious?”
“I’ve seen your type before.”
“I’ll have to remember to take my fat ass somewhere else next time, then.”
“Sugar, there is nothing wrong with your ass from where I’m standing.”
Jared’s eyes bulge out of their sockets-it’s not like he isn’t used to Danneel always saying what she’s thinking, but she isn’t usually vocalizing Jared’s thoughts, so he doesn’t usually get embarrassed and choke up.
The man smiles, his eyes crinkling in the corners, and Jared thinks he could faint. “Thanks, I think.”
“Oh, no problem. You just let me know when you want to hear nice things about it; I’d be more than happy to take a look.”
There’s an amused sound from across the counter, but instead of immediately taking the hint and asking for Danneel’s number, he gets shy and looks down.
“Danneel! Why don’t you go help Sandy in the kitchen?”
“I think the answer to that is fairly obvious.”
“Danneel! This is the part where I remind you that I’m in charge back here.”
“Selfish,” she grumbles, leaving to tell Sandy on him.
“I would like to apologize on behalf of Badgers and Nobility café. She was raised by wolves; we’re still working on assimilating her.”
“Does she know how to make frappuccinos?”
“Exquisitely.”
“She’s alright in my book, then.”
“I’m gonna make you this one, though.”
“An honor!”
“Don’t look so thrilled. I’m going to give you half the caramel and half the whipped cream.”
“I’m going to give you half the tip.”
Jared laughs. “Fair enough.”
When the guy collects his drink, he approaches the counter and Jared tries to ignore how idiotically excited he gets by that.
“If you’re here for a sugar cookie, I’m officially going to judge you.”
“Bah. What’s it to you if I’m unfaithful to my diet?”
“Can’t have you blaming us when your girlfriend catches on.”
The guy shifts awkwardly and withdraws a little. “Uh, yeah. Probably not going to happen, but I appreciate the sentiment. I just wanted to thank you for the drink, Jared.”
Jared jumps a little and the man points at Jared’s name tag. “Oh, right. Yes. I knew that.”
“Now it’s my turn to judge you.”
“Come on, that was a little creepy.”
“Would it be less creepy if I told you my name is Jensen?”
“I think so. Nice to meet you, Jensen.”
“Nice to meet you again, Jared.” And the thing is: he sounds like he means it.
_______________________________________________________________
“Jensen, right?” Jared asks when he comes in the next day, as if the name isn’t branded into the back of his brain.
Jensen’s lips turn up in a warm smile. “You remembered, huh? I guess you really like that I tip.”
“How dare you? I’m just incredibly devoted to customer service.”
“Oh, naturally.”
“Can I get you another heart attack frap, or are you going to change your order every time you come here just to keep me on my toes?”
“As amusing as that sounds, that last frap was too good to pass up another.”
“That’s so sad,” Jared says, marking the cup and setting it aside. “You have so much to live for.”
Jensen smirks. “Aren’t you going to try to sell me a cupcake or something?”
“I think what you want to go with that frappuccino is a delicious red velvet cupcake.”
“No, thanks. But I will have one of those Tomato Caprese Paninis.”
“For here or to go?”
Jensen holds up a stack of books in response.
“Gracing us with your presence this time? I can’t believe my luck!”
Jensen rolls his eyes and goes to claim a table in the back of the café.
He stays longer than Jared expects and Danneel waits an hour before she slaps Jared with a wet rag and glares.
“Okay, Jared, here’s the plan: you’re going to take this cloth and pretend to bus the tables, then you’re going to stop and ask him out, or I’m gonna fucking do it.”
“I’m technically your boss, you know, you can’t tell me what to-”
“Oh, give me a break,” she says, shoving him towards the door.
Jared doesn’t ask Jensen out, can’t even bring himself to talk to the guy, because who wants to get hit on while they attempt to enjoy their sandwich? Danneel gives him a death look when he returns without a date.
“Fine! You blew your chance. He’s fair game now.”
Jared shakes his head. “He’s all yours, babe.”
_______________________________________________________________
Jensen starts to come in regularly, bringing a stack of books in one hand and always taking the same seat and ordering the same drink and sandwich. Jared knows his order by heart embarrassingly fast, but Jensen is gracious enough to act flattered instead of terrified by it.
He hangs around and talks to Jared when there’s no line and Jared would swear he was flirting, except that Jared has the worst gaydar on the face of the planet. You can only fall for so many straight guys before you quit trying. In Jared’s case, eight is where you draw the line.
_______________________________________________________________
“It’s official. He’s in love with you.”
“Hi, Danny. It’s nice to see you, too,” Jared says, choosing to ignore the non sequitur.
Danneel points at the back of the café. “Helen of Troy is in love with you, Jared. Please, please, please, for the love of God, I know you can’t carry on a relationship to save your life, but just pretend this one time and hit that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He got here forty minutes ago. He hasn’t ordered anything.”
“So? He’s reading.”
“Yes, but he came up to the counter and asked if you were here. When I said you hadn’t gotten in yet and offered to get him a drink, he said he wasn’t in the mood for coffee at the moment.”
“He really likes how I make his fraps?”
“Jared. He is in love with you.”
“I don’t even know if he’s gay, Danneel.”
“I leaned over the counter. In this shirt. He didn’t even blink.”
Jared looks down at Danneel’s V neck and raises an eyebrow. “Okay, he’s flaming.”
“Marry him.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Oh. My. Look at that. It’s 2:33. Dish washing time. I have to go wash dishes.”
Danneel turns on the heels of her feet and walks to the kitchen in double time and Jared is decidedly lost until he looks to the register and sees Jensen waiting.
“Is she like that with everybody?” Jensen asks when he knows he has Jared’s attention.
“She really likes washing dishes.” Jared sends a look back over his shoulder and considers sitting Danneel down and teaching her about subtlety.
“Guess she found the right job, then.”
“Yeah, looks that way. The usual?”
“That’d be great,” Jensen says, looking up at Jared through eyelashes Jared swears are a mile long.
_______________________________________________________________
Jared leans over the music counter, arms reaching for Genevieve.
“I can’t hold her much longer,” Aldis says dramatically. “This girl can wiggle.”
“I will fucking murder both of you, I will take pleasure in your scre-oh God, oh God, stop!” Genevieve doubles over with giggles as Jared’s fingers finally find her stomach.
“Promise, or so help me God, I will tickle you to death right here in the middle of the store.”
“Okay,” she manages through her laughter. “Aldis gets to pick the music today and I’ll never loop Britney Spears just to annoy you again.”
“You convinced?”
“Yeah,” Jared stops his attack, “I think she means it.”
Aldis releases Genevieve reluctantly.
“So you exist outside of the café?”
Jared jumps a little and turns to see Jensen standing behind him, four CDs in each hand.
“Jensen! Hi! I, uh, sorry we kept you waiting. I didn’t realize there was a line.” Jared scratches at the back of his neck.
“Don’t apologize. That shit was important,” Aldis says.
“It looked a little dangerous. Are you okay, sweetheart?” Jensen asks, turning to Genevieve.
Genevieve looks like she’s about to swoon. “I…yeah. Fine.”
Aldis goes into overprotective big brother mode. “Can I help you?”
“Yeah, sure.” Jensen puts the stacks of CDs on the counter and Genevieve immediately rushes to Aldis’s side to sneak a quick look at what Jensen’s buying.
“They’re going to judge you based on your taste now,” Jared explains. “If they don’t approve, they’ll make fun of you for the rest of the day.”
“Awesome,” Jensen says.
“Alright, alright. Your musical preferences don’t completely suck,” Aldis concedes a few moments later.
“Well, it’s good to be validated.”
Genevieve coughs loudly and gives Jared a probing look.
“Uh, Jensen, this is Genevieve.”
“Jared and I are going to get married one day.”
“Any moment now they’ll be wed.” Aldis rolls his eyes and hands Jensen his change.
“And this charming gentleman is Aldis.”
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you both,” Jensen says, taking his bag and giving Jared a strained smile. “And it’s good to see you do more than brew coffee.”
Jared opens his mouth to make a retort when he hears a familiar voice over the loudspeaker.
“Attention Badgers and Nobility customers. Please be aware that there is a sasquatch loose in the store. If you see him, please direct him back towards the café as his break is three minutes past over. Thank you.”
“Wow, they let Misha near the loud speaker? Mistake,” Genevieve says with a laugh, popping in Aldis’s favorite CD and pointing Jared back towards the café. He waves goodbye and tries to get back to his station with some semblance of dignity.
_______________________________________________________________
Jared doesn’t see Jensen again for a few days, which is totally fine and okay because Jared does not look forward to making Jensen’s frap and talking (flirting?) over the café counter all day. That would be sorry and pathetic. And right up Jared’s alley.
Naturally, Jared gets pretty excited when Jensen finally shows up on Thursday and gets in line behind four other patrons. Jared marks a cup for Jensen’s frappuccino as soon as he sees him and does his best not to smile stupidly the entire time he’s working through the line.
“Long time,” Jared says as soon as Jensen finally steps in front of the register. Jensen doesn’t return the smile or make a clever comment like he usually does.
“I think your girlfriend in music is trying to get your attention,” he says, with just a hint of an edge.
Jared looks up to see Genevieve jumping up and down and flailing her arms from across the store, mouthing Jared’s name.
“Hah, yeah it does.” Jared shifts awkwardly, wondering if it would be too obvious for him to ignore her until he’s done serving Jensen. Jensen doesn’t seem to care either way and, stupid as it is, that bothers Jared enough for him to turn to Danneel and tell her to take over the counter.
“What do you want from me, woman? I’m not on break.”
“No, you’re not. But I am. Cover for me until I’m done?”
Jared sends one last reluctant gaze in the café’s direction and shrugs. “Yeah, why not?”
He takes Genevieve’s place behind the music counter and looks at Misha, who’s leaning against it looking bored.
“Dude, do you have a job? Because I know you get paid more than I do.”
“Fucking unfair, huh? Yeah, I have no idea what they were thinking when they promoted me.” Misha makes no attempt to look busy.
Genevieve settles next to him and looks at Jared with wide, pleading eyes. She elbows Misha in the ribs and, on cue, he makes the same puppy expression.
“Actually, we were hoping you could settle something for us?”
Jared raises an eyebrow.
“Are you totally fucking the beautiful frappuccino man or not?”
“What? You can’t ask me things like that!”
“Hah! That means yes. You owe me ten bucks.”
“You put a bet on whether or not I was,” Jared’s voice lowers to a whisper, “sleeping with a customer?”
“Fuck yeah! And Misha lost it. And now he owes me ten bucks.”
“Liar, he didn’t say anything. Come on, Jared. You obviously actually like him, and that means you’re chickening out on asking him for a date. Please remind Genevieve that the custodian is more likely to be sleeping with that guy.”
Jared scowls, then sighs. “Misha’s right. I’m hopeless.”
“Dude, what?” Genevieve’s face falls. “But…but…I’ve been watching you two eye fuck for the last three weeks. I got pregnant from the sexual tension alone last Wednesday.”
“I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen. And you owe Misha ten bucks.”
“Whatever, man, you need to grow a pair.” Genevieve reaches into her pocket and shoves a ten dollar bill into Misha’s hand. “I’m taking twenty instead of fifteen just to spite you, Jared.”
She ends up taking thirty. Jensen’s left by the time Jared gets back to the café.
_______________________________________________________________
Jensen comes back the next day and, to Jared’s great relief, he’s his regular self again. He sits in his usual spot for ten minutes, then gets up to dispose of his tray. Jared’s disappointment at him leaving so soon dissolves when he approaches the counter again.
“Jensen, hey. Is there something else I can get you?”
“Yes.”
“What’ll it be?”
Jensen looks down at the floor and mumbles something.
“I’m sorry what was th-?”
“You.”
Jared stares blankly. “Huh?”
“I just wanted to know if you wanted to get a coffee or something. One that you didn’t make. Someplace else. On a break, maybe. With me.”
“I don’t drink coffee,” Jared says stupidly, because he’s too dazed to actually think.
“Oh,” Jensen’s face falls. “Ok. I’m gonna go then.”
Jared reaches across the counter and grabs his arm before he can even take a step.
“Jensen, wait.”
Jensen turns slowly, looking at Jared hopefully. “Yes?”
“I love ice cream, though. Man, do I love me some ice cream.”
Jensen rewards Jared with one of those smiles that fold up his eyes and make Jared’s knees buckle. “There happen to be three different ice cream shops on this street alone.”
“My break is at 7. Meet me outside?”
Jensen nods and looks down at his watch. “Deal.”
_______________________________________________________________
“You guys are never going to believe what just-”
“Jensen asked you out,” Sandy says matter-of-factly.
“Oh. Ok, so that wasn’t as exciting as I was hoping for.”
Danneel drops the box of water bottles she’s carrying and turns to glare. “Jared, you’re like fucking little girls in the second grade, okay? We know because your boyfriend took advantage of your absence yesterday to ask me if you liked him liked him, or just liked him.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Jared says, grinning when Danneel pretends to bang her head on the bake case.
“At the rate you people are going, he won’t be your boyfriend until I’m 90 fucking years old.”
“Do you think one day they’ll do it?” Sandy asks, bringing her hands up to her face in mock terror.
“Babe, we’re more likely to have hot gay sex than they are.”
“Excuse you,” a woman in line says, covering her daughter’s ears. “There are children present.”
Danneel smiles sweetly. “Goodness me! I hadn’t noticed! Did you want me to get her a juice box while I’m here?”
The mother glares but the little girl claps. “Juice!” she cries happily.
“There you go, princess,” Danneel says, handing the kid an apple juice.
Sandy approaches with an equally blinding smile. “Did you want a fucking cookie to go with that?”
Jared buries his face in his hands as the woman turns to leave.
_______________________________________________________________
“You’re five minutes late. I was starting to think I was being stood up.” Jensen’s tone is playful, but he looks genuinely relieved. Jared doesn’t get it, but he’s not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“There was a very serious refrigerator cleaning emergency,” Jared says solemnly.
“There weren’t too many casualties, I hope?”
“Only the expired iced coffee.”
“Well, that’s good to hear. So…are you a Ben and Jerry’s man or a Coldstone man?”
“You’ve cut out Häagen-Dazs? This is the worst date ever.”
Jensen doesn’t reply and Jared stops mid-pace. “Ok, let’s get this out of the way right now, since I kind of make this mistake a lot. This is a date, right? Like, you didn’t ask me out because you think I’d be a cool friend?”
“No. God, no. This is definitely supposed to be a date.”
“Alright. Just checking. Because I thought so, but then you kind of seemed weirded out when I said that and-”
“Yeah, look, I’m just…I haven’t really been out with anyone in a while, so. This is weird for me. But it’s a date.”
“Fuck, are you kidding me? Why the hell haven’t you been on dates recently?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Jensen bites his lip. “Does that sound really standoffish and rude? It’s just a really long story.”
“No, hey, it’s fine. I’m sorry I asked.”
There’s quiet for a few moments before Jensen coughs. “Let’s start this over.”
Jared nods enthusiastically. “Do let’s.”
“Hi, Jared, how are you? How’s work? That’s great. Ben and Jerry’s or Coldstone?”
“Coldstone would be awesome.”
“Great!”
“But we’re going to Häagen-Dazs next time.”
“Who says there’s gonna be a next time?”
Jared freezes up, but Jensen just grabs his arm and drags him forward.
“It was a joke, Jared.”
“We both really suck at this.”
“And so we do. But at least we can suck at it together.” Jensen pauses for a long time and then his lips twitch. “Pun intended.”
“I take it back, this date rocks.”
_______________________________________________________________
Jared licks happily at his spoon and Jensen snickers.
“I think the last time I ate ice cream on a date was in junior high.”
“Your loss,” Jared says.
“Why do you work in a café if you don’t like coffee, anyway?”
“First of all? They hired me, that’s a big ol’ mark in their favor.”
Jensen smiles.
“And secondly, it’s a café, yes, but it’s a café in a bookstore. Sometimes, they let me touch the books!”
“Oh boy. This is the part where I confess that I wouldn’t know good literature if it bit me in the face.”
“This date is so over.”
Jensen laughs. “So that’s your thing, then?”
“Yes, that’s my thing.”
“That’s a good thing, as far as things go.”
“What’s your thing?”
“I guess my thing is music.”
“We might be incompatible. I have terrible taste in music.”
“Did your friends judge you as well?”
“Oh, hell yes. I worked across the way from them for six months before they would acknowledge my existence. Now they think it’s endearing.”
“Opposites attract, right? Maybe I’ll think it’s endearing, too. And you can smile fondly over the trash I read on planes.”
“Maybe,” Jared says.
He pokes idly at the last chunk of cookie dough in his cup, trying to decide if he should waste it or save it for the final bite. Across the table, Jensen licks contentedly at his cone, his tongue blue from the food coloring. It should look ridiculous, but Jensen’s eyes dance with glee and it makes Jared so warm his skin tingles.
Jared watches him for a few long moments before he looks at the clock on the wall and sighs.
“Or maybe my lunch break is almost over and I’ll get fired for coming back late and you’ll never see me again.”
“Can’t have that,” Jensen says, standing to go.
The walk back is easier than it had been when they were first getting used to seeing each other outside of their regular, safe meeting place in the café.
“So, I hear that you talked to Danneel for more than thirty seconds yesterday. Congratulations on your progress.”
“It was a little petrifying, I will admit.”
“Yeah, why Danneel, by the way?”
“Something told me she would give me a straight forward, albeit laced with sexual harassment, answer.”
“Good call there, actually.”
“I mean, it got me a date, right? Could have waited all damn year for you to give me a hint.”
“I gave you lots of hints!”
“Yeah, but then the music girl tells me she’s your fiancé. Mixed signals are never cool, man.”
“But Genevieve is my platonic soul mate.”
They stop at the door to the store and Jensen rolls his eyes. “Next time, tell her to introduce herself as your future wife who you will never have sex with.”
“That’s such a mouthful.”
Jensen grins, then his lips turn down. “I have to get home,” he explains. “But I would really like to-”
Jared leans in and kisses him. Jensen’s mouth opens in shock and Jared takes one quick lick at his bottom lip before pulling away.
“Mmm, love that cotton candy flavor,” Jared says, as if he could focus on the taste of ice cream at a time like this. Jensen brings his fingers up to his lips and Jared decides to play it cool, re-entering the store without saying another word.
_______________________________________________________________
“So, remember that time last week when we went out for half an hour and neither of us had a horrible time?”
Jared pulls out of the cabinet under the sink, miraculously managing not to bump his head on it, and turns to face Jensen.
“Really? No ‘Hey, Jared, how was your weekend’? Who raised you?”
Jensen leans on the counter and stares expectantly. “Well, do you?”
“Not really, but I remember going out with you last week for half an hour.”
“Words hurt, Jared.”
“Wah, wah, wah,” Jared singsongs.
“Look, do you want to go out to dinner with me or not?”
Jared’s smartass routine stops dead in its tracks. “Yes.”
Jensen lets out a breath. “Okay! Good. Right. So that’s settled then.”
“Not really. We don’t have a time or a date or a place…”
“But the hard part’s done,” Jensen says. “You should probably give me your number, and then I can stop stalking you at work.”
“And start stalking me everywhere?”
“My plan all along.”
Jared grabs a loose napkin, scribbling the first female name he thinks of (Maria) between his phone number and the Badgers and Nobility logo stamped into the paper.
“Wow, you even dotted the ‘i’s with hearts. I don’t get a lipstick kiss or anything?”
“Nothing I do is ever good enough for you.”
“I’m thinking Friday. Do you work this Friday?”
“I do, but Sandy owes me about 500 shifts, so I’ll just make her take it.”
“One more thing,” Jensen says, leaning even farther on the register. “Are there any managers on this floor right now?”
Jared looks out at the visible parts of the store and shakes his head. “No, why?”
“Because I owe you,” says Jensen, pulling Jared forward by the apron and kissing him over the counter. It’s quick, but it’s deeper than Jared’s kiss the other day had been, and it gets his pulse racing immediately.
“Attention all Badgers and Nobility customers. The time is 4:36 p.m. and Misha Collins now owes me ten bucks. Thank you.”
Jared pulls back and sees Genevieve talking into a stolen manager’s radio. She waves cheerfully and gives Jared a thumbs up when they make eye contact. Jared breaks into a hysterical peal of laughter.
_______________________________________________________________
Jared gets to the restaurant fifteen minutes late and whatever unease he was feeling over that doubles up as soon as he sees the place Jensen chose for their date. Maybe Jared should have seen it coming from the fact that he couldn’t pronounce the name, but it hadn’t occurred to him that someone would take the bookstore coffee guy to an upscale steakhouse on their first real date.
When Jared gets inside, he’s immediately bombarded by the hostess.
“Um, hi,” he starts. “I, uh, I’m here to meet-”
“Of course, sir. Mr. Ackles is right this way.” She leads him to a table near the back of the restaurant; it’s not quite secluded, but there are enough empty tables around them that it’s more private than he would expect, considering it’s a nice restaurant on a Friday night.
Jensen beams when he sees Jared and the sight of him, all dressed up and so fucking gorgeous Jared could die from it, makes him forget how out of place he is.
“Jared,” he says in greeting.
Jared sits across from him and arches an eyebrow. “Mr. Ackles.”
Jensen rolls his eyes.
“So, what, did you show them a picture in warning or something? The hostess knew me on sight.”
“I told them to look out for a tall guy with stupid hair. You’re not that hard to spot.”
Jared sticks his tongue out and immediately feels self-conscious over the action.
“So, this is…nice.”
“Best damn steak there is,” Jensen says. Then he shifts, like he’s realizing Jared’s not really thrilled with the locale but doesn’t get why. “You said you liked steak.”
“Oh, yeah, no, I love steak.”
Jared says nothing about the fact that a meal here probably costs as much as he makes in a week. It dawns on him that he has no idea what Jensen does, if this is status quo for him, or if he actually thought he had to break the bank to impress a guy who works for minimum wage.
The waitress comes by then and takes their order. Jared gets the cheapest thing he can find and still winces when he sees how much it costs, but Jensen orders without looking at the menu and then throws in a bottle of red wine that Jared’s pretty sure costs about as much as a small country.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Fine, sorry. How’s your day been?”
“Long. Busy. Couldn’t wait to get out of the office and…how about you?”
“Alright. No slave labor, so that’s always good.”
“Aww, come on now. We don’t treat you that badly.”
“Hah.”
“So you don’t like it then?”
“Working in a Badgers and Nobility café? Not exactly where I saw my life going.”
“Where did you see your life going?” Jensen asks, genuinely interested.
“I have no clue. But if I had one, it wouldn’t be that.”
“Then why do you work there?”
“Excuse me?”
Jensen blushes and looks down. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean, I just, well, no offense or anything, but you’re a smart, capable guy. You shouldn’t be working somewhere you hate.”
“Not many job options for a guy with my degrees.”
“Which are?”
“You know the stereotype about the kid who goes to college and majors in English and spends the rest of his life living in a cardboard box?”
Jensen nods.
“We’ll, basically I’m that guy, only my cardboard box is a shitty apartment that I share with my best friend Chad, whose only redeeming personality trait is his girlfriend, Sophia.”
Jensen laughs lightly. “English major, I bet you loved that.”
“College was awesome. Getting my masters and realizing I have years of school loans and no job prospects? Less awesome.”
“You have a masters and you’re working in a café?”
“At the time I thought getting it would help me get a decent job, but I should have just looked for something after undergrad, because by the time I finished school, the job market was, well, what the job market is.”
Jensen’s lips turn down. “I’m sorry. That sucks.”
Jared shrugs. “Sorry. I talk too much. Tell me about the fabulous job that enables you to spend half of your life sitting in a café.”
“I don’t go in there that often,” Jensen protests weakly.
“Save it, buddy.”
“Whatever. I like the sights.”
It’s Jared’s turn to blush.
“I’m kind of my own boss, so.”
“And what do you boss yourself around about?”
“I run my dad’s business.”
“What kind of business is that?”
“Okay, you promise not to laugh?”
“Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“It’s a publishing house.”
Jared laughs.
“Oh, come on. You promised.”
“Hold up,” Jared says in an attempt to sober himself. “Let me get this straight. I work in a café and I don’t drink coffee, and you don’t like reading, but you run a publishing house.”
Jensen tries to refrain from smiling. “Aren’t we a sorry lot?”
“We really are. Is this some daddy-made-me-do-it thing? Am I going to have to spend the rest of our time together hearing about how you gave up your dreams of touring the country with a hippie band to do as he said?”
“No, smartass. I actually like it.”
“Alright, tell me more.”
“Well, I don’t deal with the books. We have people like you to do that. I run the company financially, so I deal with numbers and marketing.” Jared can’t help the face he’s making and Jensen obviously sees it. “The boring stuff, if you will.”
“Oh, I will.”
“I love it, though. It’s something I’m good at. Dad actually expected my big brother to help him out and then that didn’t happen, so he never asked me. I started working for him of my own volition and then about a year ago I became something of a workaholic and he liked how that was going for the company so well he retired to the Caymans with my mom and never looked back.”
“Somehow the fact that you spend hours distracting me every week didn’t really give me the workaholic vibe.”
Jensen’s hands tense on the white table cloth but he keeps his face impassive. “I was having a really hard time, so I just decided to give up all social interaction for a while. I’m working on fixing that?”
“So I’m an experiment?”
Jensen’s eyes widen. “No, that’s really not what I meant.”
“Mmm hmm, heard it all before.”
“I had a bad break up, okay? But I’ve been ready to date again for a while; I just didn’t have anyone I was interested in. Yet.”
Jared looks down so Jensen doesn’t see the goofy smile he can’t seem to swallow.
“I’m sorry about your break up,” Jared says. “Can’t imagine what that’s like.”
“Never had an ugly split?”
“Not really. Haven’t honestly had much of anything as far as relationships go.”
“You?” Jensen looks skeptical.
“I’m not saying I’m a monk or anything, because that’s definitely not the case, but I have weird preferences, so it’s hard to find someone who can hold my interest for more than a night.”
“So I’m already ahead of the curve?”
“Definitely.”
“What are these weird preferences? I’m a little terrified to ask.”
“I like men.”
“Well, that does rule out 50% of the population.”
“No, shut up. I mean, I’m attracted to real men. Lumberjack types. Not exactly overabundant in gay clubs.”
“So basically you’re looking to date yourself?”
“Yeah, but you’ll do.”
Jensen shakes his head fondly. “I’m flattered that I’m man enough for you.”
“Well, maybe. Haven’t tried you out just yet.”
Jensen bites his bottom lip and gives Jared a heated glance.
“So anyway, half of the guys I fall for are straight and the other half-”
“Are lesbians?”
Jared laughs long and hard. “God, I fucking wish the lesbians would have me. I was gonna say jerks.”
“That would be my half, then.”
“Maybe you can have your own half?”
“Would that make you keep me around for more than a night?”
“I make no promises.”
“Damn it,” Jensen says playfully.
Just then the waitress returns with two plates and the conversation is lost to intermittent sounds of approval as they both work their way through what Jared will admit really is the best damn steak he’s ever had in his life.
Jared’s uneasiness returns briefly when the check arrives and Jensen grabs it up and pays the whole thing himself. He doesn’t make a face like he’s shocked by how much he’s laying down for one meal, so Jared convinces himself to let it go.
Outside the restaurant, Jared begins to scan the street for taxis when Jensen takes his hand and licks his lips, his intention made clear before he even opens his mouth.
“So in case this is the last night I have your attention…come home with me?”
Jared neither can nor wants to think of a reason to turn him down.
_______________________________________________________________
The ride to Jensen’s isn’t long, but it feels like it goes on forever. Not that it’s unpleasant, but the tension is so thick Jared can hardly breathe and he’s shaking thinking of what’s about to happen. Finally.
The car comes to a stop and Jensen turns to Jared and gives him a quick kiss. The house they park in front of makes Jared gape like an idiot because, okay, Jared had gotten that Jensen was doing well from the car and the overpriced dinner, but seeing Jensen’s house puts it in a whole new, terrifying perspective. He could handle Jensen being wealthy, but no one is allowed to be this wealthy.
“Home sweet home,” Jensen says, smiling as he fits the key in the lock.
He opens the door and leads the way and Jared’s legs carry him inside simply because his brain can’t think of anything else to do.
“Okay, let me make sure there’s no dirty laundry or anything lying around and then we can…”
Jared nods mindlessly and looks around, his mouth still hanging open, his stomach caving into itself. He doesn’t belong here and he has no idea what to do with that, because he’s kind of stuck.
And here’s the thing: Jared is a loser. He admitted that to himself months ago when he realized he’d been working a dead end job for over a year and still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life and no prospects at improving the situation. Jared came to terms with it and, after a week or two of midlife crisis-style depression, he got over it. Stopped letting it bother him.
It’s bothering him now. It’s bothering him because he’s standing in a living room the size of his apartment and it belongs to a guy he’s gotten way too attached to. There’s no way it won’t sting when Jensen realizes Jared isn’t good enough. It stings already, and Jared’s hardly even gotten the chance to fall yet.
“Jared?”
Jared looks up. Jensen’s standing in front of him looking nervous, as nervous as Jared is, though Jared can’t imagine why the fuck he feels uncomfortable.
“Bedroom’s this way,” he says with a shaky laugh.
“I can’t do this.”
“What?”
“I can’t…I have to go.”
“Why? Jared, we…”
Jared turns and walks out, gets in Jensen’s car, and waits for Jensen to join him. It’s less than half a minute before Jensen does.
“Can we talk about whatever-?”
“No. Look, it’s not a big deal, okay? I just need to get home, so leave me at the nearest metro or something.”
Jensen makes a wounded face. “I can drive you home, at least.”
Jared imagines Jensen pulling up in front of the shoddy apartment building he lives in and nearly has to throw up. “No, it’s okay. Metro would be best.”
Jensen doesn’t say another word for the entire ride.
_______________________________________________________________
“So, are you planning to tell me what’s wrong with you?” Genevieve asks, voice low as they’re locking down the store for the night.
Misha lets everyone out in a group and Danneel, Aldis, and Sandy walk a few paces ahead of them, fighting loudly over something inane.
“Nothing’s wrong with me, Gen.”
Genevieve looks unimpressed by Jared’s lie. “Really?”
“No, not really.”
“What happened? Last week you were practically skipping everywhere you went in anticipation of your big date, so I’m guessing…my question is: do I have to break that guy’s pretty face or what?”
“No thanks, but I appreciate the offer.”
“I’m your knight in shining armor,” Genevieve says. “Bad date?”
“No. It was the best fucking date of my life.”
“But.”
“But it didn’t really work out and when I want to talk about it, you’ll be first on my speed dial.”
Hesitantly, she nods and squeezes Jared’s arm. They catch up with their friends, walking the rest of the way to the metro hand-in-hand. Jared doesn’t join in the fun, but he at least manages to laugh at his coworkers’ antics. At the end of the walk, he passes Genevieve’s “Can I let him go home for the night or will he kill himself?” test and waves goodbye as he boards his train.
_______________________________________________________________
“No, I don’t think so, buddy,” Danneel snaps, loud enough for Jared to hear it in the kitchen. He wipes his wet hands off on his apron and decides that he should probably go supervise before she drives yet another customer out.
“I just want to talk to him.”
“That’s really not my problem.”
Jared freezes up when he hears Jensen’s voice and, cowardly though it may be, he heads back to the kitchen to finish washing dishes instead of going out and setting Danneel straight.
“Was that Jensen?” Jared asks when Sandy comes in to pull more milk out of the refrigerator.
“Yeah, but don’t worry, sweetie. We made him go away.”
“Uhh. What exactly do you guys think happened?”
“Well, hey, we’re not going to be nosy and ask you. But we were worried so we asked Gen, and she told us that things didn’t go well, so we just assumed…”
“He didn’t do anything, so please don’t abuse him the next time he comes here. And tell Danneel that. Seriously, I fucked up, not him.”
Sandy shrugs and goes back out to join Danneel in the front of the café. Jared decides to do inventory and baking so he can stay in the back and avoid customers for as long as possible.
PART TWO
Fandom: Real Person Fic - J2
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: Schmoop
Rating: NC-17 for Explicit Sexual Content, Language, Alcohol Consumption, and Gratuitous Shakespeare/Literature References
Word Count: 17,722
Author’s Note: Written for no other reason than because scorpiod1 is really cute and said so (well, and the “coffee shop” square on my schmoop_bingo card). This story has nothing original or interesting to say, it’s mostly just me venting from a year of working in a bookstore café. No, I didn’t think it was a good idea, either. But fuck is scorpiod1 cute when she begs. *_* Title was stolen from Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus and relentlessly made a joke out of throughout the story. Because if you can’t be self-indulgent in the middle of the summer, when can you be? A massive thank you to the lovely kiwiana for the speedy beta!
Summary: AU: Jared works in a bookshop café, Jensen walks in on the wrong night. And then just keeps walking in.
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PODFIC ♬ AUDIOBOOK
Jared likes his job. Really, he does. He doesn’t love it; nobody loves these kinds of jobs with any real passion. But Jared is good at what he does, he likes the people he works with-it’s not his dream, but as far as acts of desperation in a bad economy go, this isn’t so bad.
But there are days. There are days when Jared wants to pour hot drinks on the customers who complain, introduce his boss to the dangers of working with a grill, and then steal half the books in the store as compensation while making a mad dash for the door. Today is one of those days. In fact, if Jared tried to record everything that has gone wrong today, it would fill a solid hundred pages and immediately be recognized as a tragedy of Shakespearian proportions. And not one of those sissy tragedies like Romeo and Juliet-it’s not even hovering around Macbeth on the misery scale. Today is full-on Titus Andronicus levels of suck.
Ok, Jared is feeling a little bit dramatic.
He’s been working in the café since opening; he should have gotten off around 3, but got called to pick up an extra shift a few hours later. Jared can’t afford to turn paid hours down, so he found himself back in his apron by 6:30 and has been slaving away-by himself because Sandy called in sick again-since. It’s a three person job and Jared’s been at it for almost twelve hours. Which would be enough to kick him into a pretty sour mood on its own.
Add to the overtime the fact that one of the espresso machines chose this week to break and the patrons seem to have been given instructions at the door to be even more impossible about their coffee than usual (which, honestly, he wouldn’t put it past the head manager), and Jared has rarely in his life felt so justified to go on a killing spree.
It’s almost over, though-that’s the good news. It’s 10:15 and Jared figures no one orders coffee after 10 o’clock on a Monday. What could possibly go wrong in 45 minutes that hasn’t already gone wrong today?
Jared has always been kind of stupid about optimism.
A man and his wife approach the counter; Jared’s gotten pretty good at reading customers by now and in the back of his head, red flags go up when he spots them. He’s really got no choice but to smile his best “I don’t hate you” smile and take their order.
“Welcome to Badgers and Nobility café, what can I get for you?”
The lady hangs back. “Nothing for me, thank you.”
“I’ll have a venti cappuccino, whole milk.”
Jared’s smile nearly slips but he swallows it back, all the while pondering how likely the guy is to be able to taste the difference between whole milk and skim. Making cappuccinos is annoying enough when you don’t have to make an extra-large cup worth of foam out of whole milk, but Jared is a professional and dammit, he will make this drink regardless of the fact that he really doesn’t feel like it.
“Sure,” Jared says marking the cup. “Can I interest you in anything else? We have some freshly baked scones-”
“No,” the guy snaps and Jared doesn’t take offense to that-even he’s annoyed by the question, but it’s his job to ask, so he does it.
Three minutes later the same guy approaches the counter, scowling like Jared just punched his baby. Jared knows exactly what his complaint is going to be before the man even opens his mouth. Half of the people who order cappuccinos have no idea what they’re asking for; they just think the name sounds classy. Jared can chuckle silently at that most days, but today is just not one of those days.
“Hey, kid, what kind of joke is this? Feel how light this cup is. It’s half foam.”
“Uhh, yes, sir. You ordered a cappuccino. That’s what a cappuccino is,” Jared does his best to say this in a calm voice and keep his belittling tone at a minimum.
The wife appears at his side then, looking like she knows there’s going to be trouble and just wants to prevent bloodshed.
“This isn’t what I ordered,” he says.
“This isn’t what he wanted,” the wife amends.
“Okay! No problem. Why don’t you tell me what you want and I’ll call up one of the managers to refund you for this and charge you for the new drink?”
“Well, I told you what I wanted and you messed it up, but it sounds to me like you damn well need some supervision.”
Jared’s fists clench under the counter. “Okay, explain to me in really little words and I’m sure I’ll get it right this time.”
“I just want coffee.”
“Okay, one coffee, no problem. Did you want to keep that venti?” Jared asks, heading for the coffee pump.
“No, not that, I want it from the espresso machine.”
“Like a latte?”
“No, I know what a latte is, I would have asked for a latte if I wanted one. I just want the espresso.”
“Solo or double shot?”
“Whichever one has more caffeine.”
Jared takes a deep breath, sets the machine for a double shot of espresso, and heads for the phone. Seeing that the current manager on duty is Steve the Asshole, Jared decides to call the head cashier to bail him out instead.
“Yeah, what?”
“Misha, it’s Jared in the café. I need you to come up here for a refund. World’s biggest asshole, just so you’re prepared.”
“All you do is bring me is problems,” Misha says with a sigh.
“Please, you only work here on the hope that I’ll give you an excuse to come see me.” Jared hangs up and returns to the register, grabbing the espresso on the way.
“Here you go, sir. Manager should be up to settle the refund any moment.”
“What the fuck is this?”
“A double shot of espresso?”
“This is two sips of coffee!”
“That’s how we sell straight-up espresso.”
“Are you some kind of idiot?”
Misha walks in at this point and instantly slips behind the counter, smiling indulgently.
“What seems to be the problem?”
“The service here sucks, that’s the problem.”
“Why don’t I help you instead? What are you looking for?”
“I want some goddamn espresso in a decent serving. This kid keeps trying to pass bullshit off on me.”
“I see.” Misha looks at the two abandoned drinks on the counter and sums up the situation.
“Sir, I think what you’re looking for is a mocha,” he says with perfect conviction.
“That’s exactly it! Told the kid that four times.”
Misha nods sympathetically and grabs a venti cup, marking the side with “Get this dumb asshole a latte.” Jared stifles his snort with some effort and immediately gets to work.
Misha finishes up quickly and Jared hands off the drink. The customer takes a sip and makes a satisfied sound as he stomps out, wife trailing behind him. It’s only then that Jared realizes there’s someone else who’s been waiting in line through the whole fiasco and who probably has Jared figured for a moron.
Jared doesn’t even look up. He’s given up all hope of being friendly tonight; he just wants to survive his last half hour.
“What do you want?”
There’s a quiet chuckle from the other side of the counter before a deep, rich voice says, “What a dick.”
Jared finally looks at his customer and then gets a rush of that “I want to sink into the floor” feeling that happens when the most beautiful man on the planet walks into your place of employment and you’re not only wearing a stupid hat and an apron, but are also rude to him for no discernable reason.
“Uhh, yeah. I’m so sorry…for the wait.”
“Hey, no problem. I worked as a waiter at a café through grad school. Not exactly the same thing, but I imagine the assholes are about the same.”
Jared laughs with relief and smiles-his first real smile all day.
“Yeah, probably.”
“Don’t look so sorry, man. I’ve been there. You did a great job putting up with it.”
“Hah, thanks. So what would you like?”
“How about a tall coffee?”
Jared could kiss the man for going out of his way to order something easy, but decides that kiss-raping the nice, pretty patron is probably not as good an idea in the long run as it seems to be when he’s staring at the guy’s mouth.
“Yeah, definitely, one second.”
Jared fills a cup and carries it back to the register.
“Would you like anything to go with that like a coffee cake?” Jared says it all in one breath, hoping the guy won’t hear it.
“Wow, they’ve got you upsizing, too, huh?” He makes no effort to hide how amused he is by Jared’s pain.
“Yes. Yes, they do.”
“I promise I’m not here to get you fired.”
He hands over the change for his coffee and then looks around, confusion written all over his face. “Where’s the tip jar?”
“We aren’t allowed to solicit the customers,” Jared says, leaning in confidentially.
“You can’t accept tips?”
“Didn’t say that. We just aren’t allowed to ask for them.”
“Ah, I see. Well, then, this is for you.” He slides a five dollar bill across the counter and Jared doesn’t move to touch it.
“You’re tipping over 300%.”
“I’m covering the last guy, too. He forgot.” The guy winks and walks out before Jared has a chance to complain and Jared decides that it’s okay that he’s hallucinating, because they’re nice hallucinations and they leave behind real money.
_______________________________________________________________
Jared’s got an afternoon shift a few days later and he’s had some time to get over how bad Monday night had been. They’re having a slow day, so he’s hanging back eating shit with Danneel when Sandy shows up.
She bounces in, seven minutes late, fluttering her eyelashes and smiling her giant smile. Once again, she is too damn adorable for Jared to stay annoyed, but he does his best to scowl, anyway.
“Jared, baby, the love of my life, how long has it been?”
“Longer than it was supposed to be since you fucking abandoned me. Again.”
“Oh, that little thing? Well, I swear I have a really good reason this time.”
“What’s his name?” Danneel asks.
“Tom. We’re soul mates.”
“Until you get bored, at least,” Jared says, sticking his tongue out.
“Could that be the familiar sound of Jared being bitter that he’s the only person on the planet who doesn’t know how to have a real relationship?”
“Why, yes, Danneel, I believe it is!”
“I hate both of you. So much.”
“Okay, so, who wants to hear about my husband Tom?”
“No one,” Danneel says without a moment’s hesitation. “Jared here was just about to invent a conversation topic so we wouldn’t have to hear about him. Jared, what have you got?”
“Actually, I do have something to tell you guys about. Except that Sandy’s going to be so jealous she called out on Monday…I don’t want to hurt her feelings…”
“You can actually make her regret Tom? Please share.”
Twenty minutes later, Jared has told them all about the asshole and the mystery guy and is still fielding questions.
“Okay, but when you say gorgeous, how gorgeous are we talking?” Sandy asks, clearly trying to gauge how upset she is about missing it.
“He was Helen of Troy with a penis.”
Danneel makes an appreciative sound and Sandy rolls her eyes.
“Okay, first of all, geek,” Sandy says. Jared and Danneel both make ‘well, duh’ faces.
“And second of all,” Danneel jumps in. “Why did you not fuck him?”
They hear a throat clear from the register. Danneel turns, poised to do her standard “I don’t give a shit if I offended you” routine, when she freezes.
“Hello again,” the man says, eyes locked on Jared.
Jared blushes. “Uh, hi.”
“Helen of Troy?” Danneel whispers at Jared and he nods as subtly as he can.
“Oh, fuck my life,” Sandy says, throwing her hands up in the air. “I have to go bake. Only baking will make this better.”
She storms towards the kitchen. The guy quirks an eyebrow and Jared shakes his head.
“Long story. Coffee?”
“Think you can handle something a little more serious this time?”
Jared decides to swallow the hundreds of pick-up lines popping up in his head and nods.
“Could you make me a venti extra-extra caramel frap with whipped cream?”
“A sweet tooth, I see.”
“You caught me,” the man says guiltily.
“Let me guess: you’re on a diet of some kind and have decided that, while you’re cheating, you might as well cheat spectacularly.”
“Am I that obvious?”
“I’ve seen your type before.”
“I’ll have to remember to take my fat ass somewhere else next time, then.”
“Sugar, there is nothing wrong with your ass from where I’m standing.”
Jared’s eyes bulge out of their sockets-it’s not like he isn’t used to Danneel always saying what she’s thinking, but she isn’t usually vocalizing Jared’s thoughts, so he doesn’t usually get embarrassed and choke up.
The man smiles, his eyes crinkling in the corners, and Jared thinks he could faint. “Thanks, I think.”
“Oh, no problem. You just let me know when you want to hear nice things about it; I’d be more than happy to take a look.”
There’s an amused sound from across the counter, but instead of immediately taking the hint and asking for Danneel’s number, he gets shy and looks down.
“Danneel! Why don’t you go help Sandy in the kitchen?”
“I think the answer to that is fairly obvious.”
“Danneel! This is the part where I remind you that I’m in charge back here.”
“Selfish,” she grumbles, leaving to tell Sandy on him.
“I would like to apologize on behalf of Badgers and Nobility café. She was raised by wolves; we’re still working on assimilating her.”
“Does she know how to make frappuccinos?”
“Exquisitely.”
“She’s alright in my book, then.”
“I’m gonna make you this one, though.”
“An honor!”
“Don’t look so thrilled. I’m going to give you half the caramel and half the whipped cream.”
“I’m going to give you half the tip.”
Jared laughs. “Fair enough.”
When the guy collects his drink, he approaches the counter and Jared tries to ignore how idiotically excited he gets by that.
“If you’re here for a sugar cookie, I’m officially going to judge you.”
“Bah. What’s it to you if I’m unfaithful to my diet?”
“Can’t have you blaming us when your girlfriend catches on.”
The guy shifts awkwardly and withdraws a little. “Uh, yeah. Probably not going to happen, but I appreciate the sentiment. I just wanted to thank you for the drink, Jared.”
Jared jumps a little and the man points at Jared’s name tag. “Oh, right. Yes. I knew that.”
“Now it’s my turn to judge you.”
“Come on, that was a little creepy.”
“Would it be less creepy if I told you my name is Jensen?”
“I think so. Nice to meet you, Jensen.”
“Nice to meet you again, Jared.” And the thing is: he sounds like he means it.
_______________________________________________________________
“Jensen, right?” Jared asks when he comes in the next day, as if the name isn’t branded into the back of his brain.
Jensen’s lips turn up in a warm smile. “You remembered, huh? I guess you really like that I tip.”
“How dare you? I’m just incredibly devoted to customer service.”
“Oh, naturally.”
“Can I get you another heart attack frap, or are you going to change your order every time you come here just to keep me on my toes?”
“As amusing as that sounds, that last frap was too good to pass up another.”
“That’s so sad,” Jared says, marking the cup and setting it aside. “You have so much to live for.”
Jensen smirks. “Aren’t you going to try to sell me a cupcake or something?”
“I think what you want to go with that frappuccino is a delicious red velvet cupcake.”
“No, thanks. But I will have one of those Tomato Caprese Paninis.”
“For here or to go?”
Jensen holds up a stack of books in response.
“Gracing us with your presence this time? I can’t believe my luck!”
Jensen rolls his eyes and goes to claim a table in the back of the café.
He stays longer than Jared expects and Danneel waits an hour before she slaps Jared with a wet rag and glares.
“Okay, Jared, here’s the plan: you’re going to take this cloth and pretend to bus the tables, then you’re going to stop and ask him out, or I’m gonna fucking do it.”
“I’m technically your boss, you know, you can’t tell me what to-”
“Oh, give me a break,” she says, shoving him towards the door.
Jared doesn’t ask Jensen out, can’t even bring himself to talk to the guy, because who wants to get hit on while they attempt to enjoy their sandwich? Danneel gives him a death look when he returns without a date.
“Fine! You blew your chance. He’s fair game now.”
Jared shakes his head. “He’s all yours, babe.”
_______________________________________________________________
Jensen starts to come in regularly, bringing a stack of books in one hand and always taking the same seat and ordering the same drink and sandwich. Jared knows his order by heart embarrassingly fast, but Jensen is gracious enough to act flattered instead of terrified by it.
He hangs around and talks to Jared when there’s no line and Jared would swear he was flirting, except that Jared has the worst gaydar on the face of the planet. You can only fall for so many straight guys before you quit trying. In Jared’s case, eight is where you draw the line.
_______________________________________________________________
“It’s official. He’s in love with you.”
“Hi, Danny. It’s nice to see you, too,” Jared says, choosing to ignore the non sequitur.
Danneel points at the back of the café. “Helen of Troy is in love with you, Jared. Please, please, please, for the love of God, I know you can’t carry on a relationship to save your life, but just pretend this one time and hit that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He got here forty minutes ago. He hasn’t ordered anything.”
“So? He’s reading.”
“Yes, but he came up to the counter and asked if you were here. When I said you hadn’t gotten in yet and offered to get him a drink, he said he wasn’t in the mood for coffee at the moment.”
“He really likes how I make his fraps?”
“Jared. He is in love with you.”
“I don’t even know if he’s gay, Danneel.”
“I leaned over the counter. In this shirt. He didn’t even blink.”
Jared looks down at Danneel’s V neck and raises an eyebrow. “Okay, he’s flaming.”
“Marry him.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Oh. My. Look at that. It’s 2:33. Dish washing time. I have to go wash dishes.”
Danneel turns on the heels of her feet and walks to the kitchen in double time and Jared is decidedly lost until he looks to the register and sees Jensen waiting.
“Is she like that with everybody?” Jensen asks when he knows he has Jared’s attention.
“She really likes washing dishes.” Jared sends a look back over his shoulder and considers sitting Danneel down and teaching her about subtlety.
“Guess she found the right job, then.”
“Yeah, looks that way. The usual?”
“That’d be great,” Jensen says, looking up at Jared through eyelashes Jared swears are a mile long.
_______________________________________________________________
Jared leans over the music counter, arms reaching for Genevieve.
“I can’t hold her much longer,” Aldis says dramatically. “This girl can wiggle.”
“I will fucking murder both of you, I will take pleasure in your scre-oh God, oh God, stop!” Genevieve doubles over with giggles as Jared’s fingers finally find her stomach.
“Promise, or so help me God, I will tickle you to death right here in the middle of the store.”
“Okay,” she manages through her laughter. “Aldis gets to pick the music today and I’ll never loop Britney Spears just to annoy you again.”
“You convinced?”
“Yeah,” Jared stops his attack, “I think she means it.”
Aldis releases Genevieve reluctantly.
“So you exist outside of the café?”
Jared jumps a little and turns to see Jensen standing behind him, four CDs in each hand.
“Jensen! Hi! I, uh, sorry we kept you waiting. I didn’t realize there was a line.” Jared scratches at the back of his neck.
“Don’t apologize. That shit was important,” Aldis says.
“It looked a little dangerous. Are you okay, sweetheart?” Jensen asks, turning to Genevieve.
Genevieve looks like she’s about to swoon. “I…yeah. Fine.”
Aldis goes into overprotective big brother mode. “Can I help you?”
“Yeah, sure.” Jensen puts the stacks of CDs on the counter and Genevieve immediately rushes to Aldis’s side to sneak a quick look at what Jensen’s buying.
“They’re going to judge you based on your taste now,” Jared explains. “If they don’t approve, they’ll make fun of you for the rest of the day.”
“Awesome,” Jensen says.
“Alright, alright. Your musical preferences don’t completely suck,” Aldis concedes a few moments later.
“Well, it’s good to be validated.”
Genevieve coughs loudly and gives Jared a probing look.
“Uh, Jensen, this is Genevieve.”
“Jared and I are going to get married one day.”
“Any moment now they’ll be wed.” Aldis rolls his eyes and hands Jensen his change.
“And this charming gentleman is Aldis.”
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you both,” Jensen says, taking his bag and giving Jared a strained smile. “And it’s good to see you do more than brew coffee.”
Jared opens his mouth to make a retort when he hears a familiar voice over the loudspeaker.
“Attention Badgers and Nobility customers. Please be aware that there is a sasquatch loose in the store. If you see him, please direct him back towards the café as his break is three minutes past over. Thank you.”
“Wow, they let Misha near the loud speaker? Mistake,” Genevieve says with a laugh, popping in Aldis’s favorite CD and pointing Jared back towards the café. He waves goodbye and tries to get back to his station with some semblance of dignity.
_______________________________________________________________
Jared doesn’t see Jensen again for a few days, which is totally fine and okay because Jared does not look forward to making Jensen’s frap and talking (flirting?) over the café counter all day. That would be sorry and pathetic. And right up Jared’s alley.
Naturally, Jared gets pretty excited when Jensen finally shows up on Thursday and gets in line behind four other patrons. Jared marks a cup for Jensen’s frappuccino as soon as he sees him and does his best not to smile stupidly the entire time he’s working through the line.
“Long time,” Jared says as soon as Jensen finally steps in front of the register. Jensen doesn’t return the smile or make a clever comment like he usually does.
“I think your girlfriend in music is trying to get your attention,” he says, with just a hint of an edge.
Jared looks up to see Genevieve jumping up and down and flailing her arms from across the store, mouthing Jared’s name.
“Hah, yeah it does.” Jared shifts awkwardly, wondering if it would be too obvious for him to ignore her until he’s done serving Jensen. Jensen doesn’t seem to care either way and, stupid as it is, that bothers Jared enough for him to turn to Danneel and tell her to take over the counter.
“What do you want from me, woman? I’m not on break.”
“No, you’re not. But I am. Cover for me until I’m done?”
Jared sends one last reluctant gaze in the café’s direction and shrugs. “Yeah, why not?”
He takes Genevieve’s place behind the music counter and looks at Misha, who’s leaning against it looking bored.
“Dude, do you have a job? Because I know you get paid more than I do.”
“Fucking unfair, huh? Yeah, I have no idea what they were thinking when they promoted me.” Misha makes no attempt to look busy.
Genevieve settles next to him and looks at Jared with wide, pleading eyes. She elbows Misha in the ribs and, on cue, he makes the same puppy expression.
“Actually, we were hoping you could settle something for us?”
Jared raises an eyebrow.
“Are you totally fucking the beautiful frappuccino man or not?”
“What? You can’t ask me things like that!”
“Hah! That means yes. You owe me ten bucks.”
“You put a bet on whether or not I was,” Jared’s voice lowers to a whisper, “sleeping with a customer?”
“Fuck yeah! And Misha lost it. And now he owes me ten bucks.”
“Liar, he didn’t say anything. Come on, Jared. You obviously actually like him, and that means you’re chickening out on asking him for a date. Please remind Genevieve that the custodian is more likely to be sleeping with that guy.”
Jared scowls, then sighs. “Misha’s right. I’m hopeless.”
“Dude, what?” Genevieve’s face falls. “But…but…I’ve been watching you two eye fuck for the last three weeks. I got pregnant from the sexual tension alone last Wednesday.”
“I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen. And you owe Misha ten bucks.”
“Whatever, man, you need to grow a pair.” Genevieve reaches into her pocket and shoves a ten dollar bill into Misha’s hand. “I’m taking twenty instead of fifteen just to spite you, Jared.”
She ends up taking thirty. Jensen’s left by the time Jared gets back to the café.
_______________________________________________________________
Jensen comes back the next day and, to Jared’s great relief, he’s his regular self again. He sits in his usual spot for ten minutes, then gets up to dispose of his tray. Jared’s disappointment at him leaving so soon dissolves when he approaches the counter again.
“Jensen, hey. Is there something else I can get you?”
“Yes.”
“What’ll it be?”
Jensen looks down at the floor and mumbles something.
“I’m sorry what was th-?”
“You.”
Jared stares blankly. “Huh?”
“I just wanted to know if you wanted to get a coffee or something. One that you didn’t make. Someplace else. On a break, maybe. With me.”
“I don’t drink coffee,” Jared says stupidly, because he’s too dazed to actually think.
“Oh,” Jensen’s face falls. “Ok. I’m gonna go then.”
Jared reaches across the counter and grabs his arm before he can even take a step.
“Jensen, wait.”
Jensen turns slowly, looking at Jared hopefully. “Yes?”
“I love ice cream, though. Man, do I love me some ice cream.”
Jensen rewards Jared with one of those smiles that fold up his eyes and make Jared’s knees buckle. “There happen to be three different ice cream shops on this street alone.”
“My break is at 7. Meet me outside?”
Jensen nods and looks down at his watch. “Deal.”
_______________________________________________________________
“You guys are never going to believe what just-”
“Jensen asked you out,” Sandy says matter-of-factly.
“Oh. Ok, so that wasn’t as exciting as I was hoping for.”
Danneel drops the box of water bottles she’s carrying and turns to glare. “Jared, you’re like fucking little girls in the second grade, okay? We know because your boyfriend took advantage of your absence yesterday to ask me if you liked him liked him, or just liked him.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Jared says, grinning when Danneel pretends to bang her head on the bake case.
“At the rate you people are going, he won’t be your boyfriend until I’m 90 fucking years old.”
“Do you think one day they’ll do it?” Sandy asks, bringing her hands up to her face in mock terror.
“Babe, we’re more likely to have hot gay sex than they are.”
“Excuse you,” a woman in line says, covering her daughter’s ears. “There are children present.”
Danneel smiles sweetly. “Goodness me! I hadn’t noticed! Did you want me to get her a juice box while I’m here?”
The mother glares but the little girl claps. “Juice!” she cries happily.
“There you go, princess,” Danneel says, handing the kid an apple juice.
Sandy approaches with an equally blinding smile. “Did you want a fucking cookie to go with that?”
Jared buries his face in his hands as the woman turns to leave.
_______________________________________________________________
“You’re five minutes late. I was starting to think I was being stood up.” Jensen’s tone is playful, but he looks genuinely relieved. Jared doesn’t get it, but he’s not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“There was a very serious refrigerator cleaning emergency,” Jared says solemnly.
“There weren’t too many casualties, I hope?”
“Only the expired iced coffee.”
“Well, that’s good to hear. So…are you a Ben and Jerry’s man or a Coldstone man?”
“You’ve cut out Häagen-Dazs? This is the worst date ever.”
Jensen doesn’t reply and Jared stops mid-pace. “Ok, let’s get this out of the way right now, since I kind of make this mistake a lot. This is a date, right? Like, you didn’t ask me out because you think I’d be a cool friend?”
“No. God, no. This is definitely supposed to be a date.”
“Alright. Just checking. Because I thought so, but then you kind of seemed weirded out when I said that and-”
“Yeah, look, I’m just…I haven’t really been out with anyone in a while, so. This is weird for me. But it’s a date.”
“Fuck, are you kidding me? Why the hell haven’t you been on dates recently?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Jensen bites his lip. “Does that sound really standoffish and rude? It’s just a really long story.”
“No, hey, it’s fine. I’m sorry I asked.”
There’s quiet for a few moments before Jensen coughs. “Let’s start this over.”
Jared nods enthusiastically. “Do let’s.”
“Hi, Jared, how are you? How’s work? That’s great. Ben and Jerry’s or Coldstone?”
“Coldstone would be awesome.”
“Great!”
“But we’re going to Häagen-Dazs next time.”
“Who says there’s gonna be a next time?”
Jared freezes up, but Jensen just grabs his arm and drags him forward.
“It was a joke, Jared.”
“We both really suck at this.”
“And so we do. But at least we can suck at it together.” Jensen pauses for a long time and then his lips twitch. “Pun intended.”
“I take it back, this date rocks.”
_______________________________________________________________
Jared licks happily at his spoon and Jensen snickers.
“I think the last time I ate ice cream on a date was in junior high.”
“Your loss,” Jared says.
“Why do you work in a café if you don’t like coffee, anyway?”
“First of all? They hired me, that’s a big ol’ mark in their favor.”
Jensen smiles.
“And secondly, it’s a café, yes, but it’s a café in a bookstore. Sometimes, they let me touch the books!”
“Oh boy. This is the part where I confess that I wouldn’t know good literature if it bit me in the face.”
“This date is so over.”
Jensen laughs. “So that’s your thing, then?”
“Yes, that’s my thing.”
“That’s a good thing, as far as things go.”
“What’s your thing?”
“I guess my thing is music.”
“We might be incompatible. I have terrible taste in music.”
“Did your friends judge you as well?”
“Oh, hell yes. I worked across the way from them for six months before they would acknowledge my existence. Now they think it’s endearing.”
“Opposites attract, right? Maybe I’ll think it’s endearing, too. And you can smile fondly over the trash I read on planes.”
“Maybe,” Jared says.
He pokes idly at the last chunk of cookie dough in his cup, trying to decide if he should waste it or save it for the final bite. Across the table, Jensen licks contentedly at his cone, his tongue blue from the food coloring. It should look ridiculous, but Jensen’s eyes dance with glee and it makes Jared so warm his skin tingles.
Jared watches him for a few long moments before he looks at the clock on the wall and sighs.
“Or maybe my lunch break is almost over and I’ll get fired for coming back late and you’ll never see me again.”
“Can’t have that,” Jensen says, standing to go.
The walk back is easier than it had been when they were first getting used to seeing each other outside of their regular, safe meeting place in the café.
“So, I hear that you talked to Danneel for more than thirty seconds yesterday. Congratulations on your progress.”
“It was a little petrifying, I will admit.”
“Yeah, why Danneel, by the way?”
“Something told me she would give me a straight forward, albeit laced with sexual harassment, answer.”
“Good call there, actually.”
“I mean, it got me a date, right? Could have waited all damn year for you to give me a hint.”
“I gave you lots of hints!”
“Yeah, but then the music girl tells me she’s your fiancé. Mixed signals are never cool, man.”
“But Genevieve is my platonic soul mate.”
They stop at the door to the store and Jensen rolls his eyes. “Next time, tell her to introduce herself as your future wife who you will never have sex with.”
“That’s such a mouthful.”
Jensen grins, then his lips turn down. “I have to get home,” he explains. “But I would really like to-”
Jared leans in and kisses him. Jensen’s mouth opens in shock and Jared takes one quick lick at his bottom lip before pulling away.
“Mmm, love that cotton candy flavor,” Jared says, as if he could focus on the taste of ice cream at a time like this. Jensen brings his fingers up to his lips and Jared decides to play it cool, re-entering the store without saying another word.
_______________________________________________________________
“So, remember that time last week when we went out for half an hour and neither of us had a horrible time?”
Jared pulls out of the cabinet under the sink, miraculously managing not to bump his head on it, and turns to face Jensen.
“Really? No ‘Hey, Jared, how was your weekend’? Who raised you?”
Jensen leans on the counter and stares expectantly. “Well, do you?”
“Not really, but I remember going out with you last week for half an hour.”
“Words hurt, Jared.”
“Wah, wah, wah,” Jared singsongs.
“Look, do you want to go out to dinner with me or not?”
Jared’s smartass routine stops dead in its tracks. “Yes.”
Jensen lets out a breath. “Okay! Good. Right. So that’s settled then.”
“Not really. We don’t have a time or a date or a place…”
“But the hard part’s done,” Jensen says. “You should probably give me your number, and then I can stop stalking you at work.”
“And start stalking me everywhere?”
“My plan all along.”
Jared grabs a loose napkin, scribbling the first female name he thinks of (Maria) between his phone number and the Badgers and Nobility logo stamped into the paper.
“Wow, you even dotted the ‘i’s with hearts. I don’t get a lipstick kiss or anything?”
“Nothing I do is ever good enough for you.”
“I’m thinking Friday. Do you work this Friday?”
“I do, but Sandy owes me about 500 shifts, so I’ll just make her take it.”
“One more thing,” Jensen says, leaning even farther on the register. “Are there any managers on this floor right now?”
Jared looks out at the visible parts of the store and shakes his head. “No, why?”
“Because I owe you,” says Jensen, pulling Jared forward by the apron and kissing him over the counter. It’s quick, but it’s deeper than Jared’s kiss the other day had been, and it gets his pulse racing immediately.
“Attention all Badgers and Nobility customers. The time is 4:36 p.m. and Misha Collins now owes me ten bucks. Thank you.”
Jared pulls back and sees Genevieve talking into a stolen manager’s radio. She waves cheerfully and gives Jared a thumbs up when they make eye contact. Jared breaks into a hysterical peal of laughter.
_______________________________________________________________
Jared gets to the restaurant fifteen minutes late and whatever unease he was feeling over that doubles up as soon as he sees the place Jensen chose for their date. Maybe Jared should have seen it coming from the fact that he couldn’t pronounce the name, but it hadn’t occurred to him that someone would take the bookstore coffee guy to an upscale steakhouse on their first real date.
When Jared gets inside, he’s immediately bombarded by the hostess.
“Um, hi,” he starts. “I, uh, I’m here to meet-”
“Of course, sir. Mr. Ackles is right this way.” She leads him to a table near the back of the restaurant; it’s not quite secluded, but there are enough empty tables around them that it’s more private than he would expect, considering it’s a nice restaurant on a Friday night.
Jensen beams when he sees Jared and the sight of him, all dressed up and so fucking gorgeous Jared could die from it, makes him forget how out of place he is.
“Jared,” he says in greeting.
Jared sits across from him and arches an eyebrow. “Mr. Ackles.”
Jensen rolls his eyes.
“So, what, did you show them a picture in warning or something? The hostess knew me on sight.”
“I told them to look out for a tall guy with stupid hair. You’re not that hard to spot.”
Jared sticks his tongue out and immediately feels self-conscious over the action.
“So, this is…nice.”
“Best damn steak there is,” Jensen says. Then he shifts, like he’s realizing Jared’s not really thrilled with the locale but doesn’t get why. “You said you liked steak.”
“Oh, yeah, no, I love steak.”
Jared says nothing about the fact that a meal here probably costs as much as he makes in a week. It dawns on him that he has no idea what Jensen does, if this is status quo for him, or if he actually thought he had to break the bank to impress a guy who works for minimum wage.
The waitress comes by then and takes their order. Jared gets the cheapest thing he can find and still winces when he sees how much it costs, but Jensen orders without looking at the menu and then throws in a bottle of red wine that Jared’s pretty sure costs about as much as a small country.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Fine, sorry. How’s your day been?”
“Long. Busy. Couldn’t wait to get out of the office and…how about you?”
“Alright. No slave labor, so that’s always good.”
“Aww, come on now. We don’t treat you that badly.”
“Hah.”
“So you don’t like it then?”
“Working in a Badgers and Nobility café? Not exactly where I saw my life going.”
“Where did you see your life going?” Jensen asks, genuinely interested.
“I have no clue. But if I had one, it wouldn’t be that.”
“Then why do you work there?”
“Excuse me?”
Jensen blushes and looks down. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean, I just, well, no offense or anything, but you’re a smart, capable guy. You shouldn’t be working somewhere you hate.”
“Not many job options for a guy with my degrees.”
“Which are?”
“You know the stereotype about the kid who goes to college and majors in English and spends the rest of his life living in a cardboard box?”
Jensen nods.
“We’ll, basically I’m that guy, only my cardboard box is a shitty apartment that I share with my best friend Chad, whose only redeeming personality trait is his girlfriend, Sophia.”
Jensen laughs lightly. “English major, I bet you loved that.”
“College was awesome. Getting my masters and realizing I have years of school loans and no job prospects? Less awesome.”
“You have a masters and you’re working in a café?”
“At the time I thought getting it would help me get a decent job, but I should have just looked for something after undergrad, because by the time I finished school, the job market was, well, what the job market is.”
Jensen’s lips turn down. “I’m sorry. That sucks.”
Jared shrugs. “Sorry. I talk too much. Tell me about the fabulous job that enables you to spend half of your life sitting in a café.”
“I don’t go in there that often,” Jensen protests weakly.
“Save it, buddy.”
“Whatever. I like the sights.”
It’s Jared’s turn to blush.
“I’m kind of my own boss, so.”
“And what do you boss yourself around about?”
“I run my dad’s business.”
“What kind of business is that?”
“Okay, you promise not to laugh?”
“Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“It’s a publishing house.”
Jared laughs.
“Oh, come on. You promised.”
“Hold up,” Jared says in an attempt to sober himself. “Let me get this straight. I work in a café and I don’t drink coffee, and you don’t like reading, but you run a publishing house.”
Jensen tries to refrain from smiling. “Aren’t we a sorry lot?”
“We really are. Is this some daddy-made-me-do-it thing? Am I going to have to spend the rest of our time together hearing about how you gave up your dreams of touring the country with a hippie band to do as he said?”
“No, smartass. I actually like it.”
“Alright, tell me more.”
“Well, I don’t deal with the books. We have people like you to do that. I run the company financially, so I deal with numbers and marketing.” Jared can’t help the face he’s making and Jensen obviously sees it. “The boring stuff, if you will.”
“Oh, I will.”
“I love it, though. It’s something I’m good at. Dad actually expected my big brother to help him out and then that didn’t happen, so he never asked me. I started working for him of my own volition and then about a year ago I became something of a workaholic and he liked how that was going for the company so well he retired to the Caymans with my mom and never looked back.”
“Somehow the fact that you spend hours distracting me every week didn’t really give me the workaholic vibe.”
Jensen’s hands tense on the white table cloth but he keeps his face impassive. “I was having a really hard time, so I just decided to give up all social interaction for a while. I’m working on fixing that?”
“So I’m an experiment?”
Jensen’s eyes widen. “No, that’s really not what I meant.”
“Mmm hmm, heard it all before.”
“I had a bad break up, okay? But I’ve been ready to date again for a while; I just didn’t have anyone I was interested in. Yet.”
Jared looks down so Jensen doesn’t see the goofy smile he can’t seem to swallow.
“I’m sorry about your break up,” Jared says. “Can’t imagine what that’s like.”
“Never had an ugly split?”
“Not really. Haven’t honestly had much of anything as far as relationships go.”
“You?” Jensen looks skeptical.
“I’m not saying I’m a monk or anything, because that’s definitely not the case, but I have weird preferences, so it’s hard to find someone who can hold my interest for more than a night.”
“So I’m already ahead of the curve?”
“Definitely.”
“What are these weird preferences? I’m a little terrified to ask.”
“I like men.”
“Well, that does rule out 50% of the population.”
“No, shut up. I mean, I’m attracted to real men. Lumberjack types. Not exactly overabundant in gay clubs.”
“So basically you’re looking to date yourself?”
“Yeah, but you’ll do.”
Jensen shakes his head fondly. “I’m flattered that I’m man enough for you.”
“Well, maybe. Haven’t tried you out just yet.”
Jensen bites his bottom lip and gives Jared a heated glance.
“So anyway, half of the guys I fall for are straight and the other half-”
“Are lesbians?”
Jared laughs long and hard. “God, I fucking wish the lesbians would have me. I was gonna say jerks.”
“That would be my half, then.”
“Maybe you can have your own half?”
“Would that make you keep me around for more than a night?”
“I make no promises.”
“Damn it,” Jensen says playfully.
Just then the waitress returns with two plates and the conversation is lost to intermittent sounds of approval as they both work their way through what Jared will admit really is the best damn steak he’s ever had in his life.
Jared’s uneasiness returns briefly when the check arrives and Jensen grabs it up and pays the whole thing himself. He doesn’t make a face like he’s shocked by how much he’s laying down for one meal, so Jared convinces himself to let it go.
Outside the restaurant, Jared begins to scan the street for taxis when Jensen takes his hand and licks his lips, his intention made clear before he even opens his mouth.
“So in case this is the last night I have your attention…come home with me?”
Jared neither can nor wants to think of a reason to turn him down.
_______________________________________________________________
The ride to Jensen’s isn’t long, but it feels like it goes on forever. Not that it’s unpleasant, but the tension is so thick Jared can hardly breathe and he’s shaking thinking of what’s about to happen. Finally.
The car comes to a stop and Jensen turns to Jared and gives him a quick kiss. The house they park in front of makes Jared gape like an idiot because, okay, Jared had gotten that Jensen was doing well from the car and the overpriced dinner, but seeing Jensen’s house puts it in a whole new, terrifying perspective. He could handle Jensen being wealthy, but no one is allowed to be this wealthy.
“Home sweet home,” Jensen says, smiling as he fits the key in the lock.
He opens the door and leads the way and Jared’s legs carry him inside simply because his brain can’t think of anything else to do.
“Okay, let me make sure there’s no dirty laundry or anything lying around and then we can…”
Jared nods mindlessly and looks around, his mouth still hanging open, his stomach caving into itself. He doesn’t belong here and he has no idea what to do with that, because he’s kind of stuck.
And here’s the thing: Jared is a loser. He admitted that to himself months ago when he realized he’d been working a dead end job for over a year and still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life and no prospects at improving the situation. Jared came to terms with it and, after a week or two of midlife crisis-style depression, he got over it. Stopped letting it bother him.
It’s bothering him now. It’s bothering him because he’s standing in a living room the size of his apartment and it belongs to a guy he’s gotten way too attached to. There’s no way it won’t sting when Jensen realizes Jared isn’t good enough. It stings already, and Jared’s hardly even gotten the chance to fall yet.
“Jared?”
Jared looks up. Jensen’s standing in front of him looking nervous, as nervous as Jared is, though Jared can’t imagine why the fuck he feels uncomfortable.
“Bedroom’s this way,” he says with a shaky laugh.
“I can’t do this.”
“What?”
“I can’t…I have to go.”
“Why? Jared, we…”
Jared turns and walks out, gets in Jensen’s car, and waits for Jensen to join him. It’s less than half a minute before Jensen does.
“Can we talk about whatever-?”
“No. Look, it’s not a big deal, okay? I just need to get home, so leave me at the nearest metro or something.”
Jensen makes a wounded face. “I can drive you home, at least.”
Jared imagines Jensen pulling up in front of the shoddy apartment building he lives in and nearly has to throw up. “No, it’s okay. Metro would be best.”
Jensen doesn’t say another word for the entire ride.
_______________________________________________________________
“So, are you planning to tell me what’s wrong with you?” Genevieve asks, voice low as they’re locking down the store for the night.
Misha lets everyone out in a group and Danneel, Aldis, and Sandy walk a few paces ahead of them, fighting loudly over something inane.
“Nothing’s wrong with me, Gen.”
Genevieve looks unimpressed by Jared’s lie. “Really?”
“No, not really.”
“What happened? Last week you were practically skipping everywhere you went in anticipation of your big date, so I’m guessing…my question is: do I have to break that guy’s pretty face or what?”
“No thanks, but I appreciate the offer.”
“I’m your knight in shining armor,” Genevieve says. “Bad date?”
“No. It was the best fucking date of my life.”
“But.”
“But it didn’t really work out and when I want to talk about it, you’ll be first on my speed dial.”
Hesitantly, she nods and squeezes Jared’s arm. They catch up with their friends, walking the rest of the way to the metro hand-in-hand. Jared doesn’t join in the fun, but he at least manages to laugh at his coworkers’ antics. At the end of the walk, he passes Genevieve’s “Can I let him go home for the night or will he kill himself?” test and waves goodbye as he boards his train.
_______________________________________________________________
“No, I don’t think so, buddy,” Danneel snaps, loud enough for Jared to hear it in the kitchen. He wipes his wet hands off on his apron and decides that he should probably go supervise before she drives yet another customer out.
“I just want to talk to him.”
“That’s really not my problem.”
Jared freezes up when he hears Jensen’s voice and, cowardly though it may be, he heads back to the kitchen to finish washing dishes instead of going out and setting Danneel straight.
“Was that Jensen?” Jared asks when Sandy comes in to pull more milk out of the refrigerator.
“Yeah, but don’t worry, sweetie. We made him go away.”
“Uhh. What exactly do you guys think happened?”
“Well, hey, we’re not going to be nosy and ask you. But we were worried so we asked Gen, and she told us that things didn’t go well, so we just assumed…”
“He didn’t do anything, so please don’t abuse him the next time he comes here. And tell Danneel that. Seriously, I fucked up, not him.”
Sandy shrugs and goes back out to join Danneel in the front of the café. Jared decides to do inventory and baking so he can stay in the back and avoid customers for as long as possible.
PART TWO