It took me more than a year to be able to verbalize to Chris what was wrong on any given occassion. Mostly I'd try to repress it and end up acting weird and he'd know. I'd have to write it out and let him read it-- something about saying it scared the hell out of me. I thought saying would make it true when keeping it in my head still held the possibility that I wasn't upset over completely petty things. I had to come to grips with the fact that I am emotional, I get upset over stupid shit, and that's ok. It doesn't make me less intelligent or less worthy of love. I just have to express it and move on. I think a lot of women have trouble coming to that realization. Society tells them not to whine, not to be a sissy and get upset over the intonation of a man's voice when he says 'you look pretty.' So, women try to pretend they're not upset in order to be that awesome girlfriend who never gets crazy over silly things, but repression makes you a whole bag of crazy.
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After I posted it, we got it talked out online. Not my favorite way to deal with problems, but hey, at least we dealt with them, you know?
Thanks Katie. This was sound and put my heart at rest about a lot of things.
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