Crack Whims ch.19
Title: Crack Whims
Chapter: 19
Genre: Humour/General
Rating: T
Characters: Orochimaru, Sasuke, Kabuto
Prompt: Birthdays
Note: Orochimaru's lair is underground. But for some reason it has several floors and windows in this fic. I don't know how that happened. :D
Birthdays
Orochimaru loved birthdays.
That wasn't to say he made an occasion out of just anyone's birthday; it was actually just his and Sasuke's he liked celebrating.
For his part, the Uchiha had grown to expect the lavish gifts that awaited him every time his birthday rolled around. None of them actually meant anything to him, though, the reason being that Orochimaru had no idea what constituted a useful or practical present.
Instead, the sannin typically went for odd, whimsical, sometimes childish items that would better suit a ten-year-old than a vengeance-driven teenager.
On his fourteenth birthday, Sasuke had been gifted several board games and a video game console. The game that came with it was called The Sims. He'd tried it out a few times out of boredom, only to grow frustrated when the sim he'd deemed Itachi died of starvation before he could kill it himself. That, and the Naruto sim he'd created was just as obnoxious as the one in real life. He wound up throwing the game in the fire.
On his fifteenth birthday, Orochimaru had switched tactics and snuck the gift into Sasuke's room in the middle of the night. The Uchiha had woken at 5:30 AM to a large urine stain on his bed and the feel of a hot, wet tongue licking his face.
His startled yell had woken everyone on the third floor.
He'd kept the Pomeranian for a couple of days despite being horribly allergic, looking for a suitable home for the mutt because the sort of company Orochimaru kept was more likely to eat the dog than raise it as a pet. Sasuke might have been cold, but he wasn't heartless.
Eventually he'd found a dog shelter willing to take the thing in and that was the end of that.
By his sixteenth birthday, Sasuke had grown wary of Orochimaru's tendency for useless, annoying gifts. So it was with a fair degree of caution he made his way to the head table where he'd been summoned.
He stood looking blankly at his birthday present before glancing back at the sannin. "What do I do with this?"
Orochimaru smiled. Rather patronizingly, Sasuke noted with irritation.
"Why, Sasuke, I thought this sort of thing would come naturally to a healthy, virile, teenage boy."
Sasuke glanced at the quivering, scantily clad young girl again before realization dawned on him.
"No."
Orochimaru raised an eyebrow. "No?"
"Perhaps," Kabuto cut in helpfully, aiming a darkly amused look in Sasuke's direction, "she's simply not his preference, Orochimaru-sama."
"Oh?" Orochimaru pondered. "Then perhaps a brunette?"
Kabuto smiled thinly, ignoring the way Sasuke was attempting to glare two smoking holes in his head. "Hmm...something more of a stretch?"
"Something more..." Orochimaru trailed off, his eyes widening. "Oh my."
A positively leery grin spread over his pale face and Sasuke didn't miss the undertone of delight lacing his voice. "Sasuke, was I mistaken in assuming you'd want a lady companion?"
Sasuke just scowled at him.
"In that case, there are several fine male specimens awaiting you in the-"
"Stop." Sasuke held up a hand, fighting the twitch in his eye as Kabuto smirked. "I'll take her."
Orochimaru smiled indulgently. "As you wish, my dear protégé. Enjoy."
"Hn," Sasuke muttered, before glancing at the girl over his shoulder, ignoring the way she quailed under the look. Wordlessly, he began heading off for his room, pausing by the dining hall entrance long enough to beckon to her.
She shakily moved to follow, falling into step behind him as they made their way through the winding halls and to the third floor. He led her to a door at the end of the hall, opening it and ushering her in.
At the same moment, Karin descended the steps from the fourth floor and appeared just in front of his room. He managed to catch her jaw dropping in outrage at the sight of the girl disappearing inside before he slammed the door in her face.
Once they were inside and he'd tuned out Karin's angry shouts, he slowly turned to her with a deadpan expression.
"This is not happening, obviously."
She blinked in confusion. "W-What?"
Without answering, Sasuke turned to his wardrobe and fished out a pair of his pants and a long-sleeved shirt. She reeled backwards when he threw them in her face.
"Put these on."
With that, Sasuke turned his back to her and stared at the floor. After a few seconds of shuffling fabric, she cleared her throat.
"Um...I'm done."
He glanced over his shoulder.
The shirt hung down to her thighs and the pant legs dragged on the ground. She looked ridiculous, but at least she was decent. He turned around to face her properly when she hesitantly held up her torn clothes.
"What should I...?"
"There," Sasuke said briskly, pointing to his fireplace.
She nodded and quickly disposed of the rags.
They stood looking awkwardly at each other. She tugged the ends of her long blonde hair before speaking tentatively.
"Y-You're...not going to rape me?"
Sasuke gave her an annoyed look. "No."
Her shoulders sagged in relief and she looked at him with unconcealed gratitude. "Then can I go?"
He shrugged. "It's light out. If you're seen, you'll be killed."
She deflated. "So should I wait?"
"If you want," he said indifferently.
She nodded and eventually sat down on the floor again.
There was another moment of silence.
She swallowed nervously. "By the way, my name is-"
"I don't care," he interrupted.
She cringed.
There was yet another moment of silence, this one much longer and more awkward as Sasuke just stood there staring at nothing and she gazed at the floor.
After a while, he sighed and glanced around his room. Despite his derision for Ororchimaru's past gifts, he hadn't protested when the servants had stockpiled them inside his closet. Now that he thought about it, Sasuke wondered at Orochimaru's tendency towards board games.
He could only think of three reasons to explain it; Orochimaru hoped that games would keep Sasuke's 'youthful vigour' alive; Orochimaru wanted to get on Sasuke's good side; or lastly-and most probably-Orochimaru was going senile. Sasuke decided to opt for the latter.
He glanced at the clock.
It was a couple of hours before night fell, so the girl would be stuck waiting it out in his room. Training was over for the day. He really had nothing else to do.
Sasuke found his eyes trailing over to the closet despite himself.
Truth be told, he was kind of...lonely. Not that he'd ever admit it. And he did tend to get bored between training sessions. It wouldn't be wrong if he partook in a little leisure time, would it?
Even Itachi, before he'd gone crazy and killed everyone, had taken moments of reprieve between his training and shinobi duties. If Sasuke recalled correctly, his brother had a penchant for tea houses.
Sasuke frowned. He hated tea.
In fact, when he thought about it, he didn't really have a hobby at all.
He looked at the girl again. She was idly picking at a loose thread on her shirt. He shifted imperceptibly towards the closet door.
He supposed, just for one day, it wouldn't kill him to have a little social interaction with someone. Someone normal, at least. Karin was too psychotic. Kabuto was a conniving bastard. And Orochimaru was just self-explanatory.
Mind made up, he strode into his walk-in closet. After rummaging around for a minute, he emerged with a stack of unopened board games and dropped them unceremoniously to the floor. The girl jumped at the noise, looking at him uncertainly when he took a seat across from her and gave her a blank look.
"Pick one."
She stared at him in surprise before looking down at the pile. Her fingers inched towards a deck of cards.
Sasuke swept the other games away and grabbed the deck, tearing off the wrapper. Truth be told, he hadn't played a card game since the massacre, and the only game he knew from that age was...
"Go Fish," he stated imperiously.
The girl nodded because she was too frightened and confused to do anything else and waited as he dealt the cards. They started the first game. Sasuke lost.
Okay, he thought.
They played a second game. Sasuke lost again.
Fluke, he told himself.
They played a third time.
"Do you have any sixes?" she chirped.
Sasuke looked at the six of diamonds in his hand and frowned.
"...Go fish."
**********
Orochimaru toyed with the cherry at the bottom of his parfait glass, raising the spoon every now and then to lick the leftover cream. He looked thoughtful.
Kabuto sat attentively at the other end of the long table. A wary look lingered on his features as he took in the sannin's distracted demeanour.
"Kabuto," Orochimaru suddenly said.
"Yes, Orochimaru-sama?"
"Today is quite a milestone for our boy Sasuke."
Kabuto stared at him, refusing to let his thoughts venture towards the mental images that statement evoked.
"Yes," he said neutrally.
"It makes me rather nostalgic."
Kabuto merely nodded. He was well-aware of Orochimaru's pensive and often odd...moods. Years of service had taught him the 'smile-and-nod' tactic was the best way to deal with it.
"I remember my first love," Orochimaru continued, putting his spoon in his mouth again.
Kabuto smiled tersely.
"Do you remember yours?" the older man asked.
The medic-nin only smiled wider and didn't answer. Orochimaru chuckled.
"Oh, don't be coy, Kabuto."
There was a blissful moment of silence as Orochimaru finished the remains of his dessert and pushed his glass away. He folded his hands and rested his chin on them, eyes rising towards the ceiling.
"I don't hear screaming."
Kabuto's smile froze on his face.
"Sasuke must be a gentle lover," Orochimaru mused.
The medic-nin abruptly stood up.
"Pardon me, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said politely. "My hernia is acting up again. If I may be excused?"
Orochimaru waved him away. Kabuto hurried out of the room, leaving the sannin alone to dwell on his days of youth gone by.
**********
Upstairs, the deck of cards lay smouldering in the fireplace. They'd switched over to a board game called Snakes and Ladders. Not something Sasuke was familiar with, but it seemed simple enough. It prompted him to wonder if he was doing something wrong when every other roll of the dice found him falling down a snake and back to the bottom row as the girl across from him got farther and farther away.
Sasuke looked at the board. She was twenty-two paces ahead of him.
She shook the dice in her hand, blowing on them for luck.
Not eight, he repeated inwardly, staring at the dice as though willing them to burst into flames. Not eight.
She rolled. The dice came to a stop.
"Eight!" she cheered, grabbing her piece and moving it to the winning square. She clapped her hands and gathered the dice as her partner stared stonily at the board.
"That was fun," she said warmly. "Wanna play again? You can go first this time."
Sasuke glared.
**********
Kabuto splashed cold water on his face to cleanse away the inexplicably unclean feeling left over from his last conversation. Straightening over the sink, he dried his face and looked at the mirror.
His reflection frowned back at him.
Orochimaru was well aware of his derision for the Uchiha brat. The last thing he wanted to think about was the pubescent twit popping his cherry.
Fighting back a grimace, he wiped his glasses and put them back on his face the same instant Karin appeared in the doorway to the lab.
"Hey, Kabuto!"
Fighting the urge to sigh, he turned around with a forced smile. "Yes, Karin?"
"Who the hell was that bimbo Sasuke took into his room? I thought outsiders weren't allowed in the lair!"
Kabuto twitched. "That was Orochimaru's birthday gift. If it makes you feel any better, she will probably be killed after he's done with her."
"It's not fair," Karin whined. "I wanted to be his first."
That strained smile found its way onto Kabuto's face again. "Karin, if you don't mind..."
"I stood outside his door listening and couldn't hear a thing. She's probably not even doing it right-"
A lens cracked in Kabuto's glasses. "Karin-"
"Mmm, but the things I'd do to him..." she sighed rapturously.
"Karin."
There was a sudden thunk against the wall next to her head. When she blinked and looked for the source of the noise, she found a scalpel embedded into the concrete and an inch of her hair lying on the floor. She gaped.
Kabuto's smile threatened to crack his face in half. "Get out."
**********
Sasuke spurned the mindless idiocy of the first board game in favour for something that seemed more strategic. The military motif, especially, seemed promising.
After a long moment of consideration, he spoke, voice cold and emotionless. "A4."
She looked over her plastic ships, biting her lip. After a moment, she shook her head. "Miss."
There was a short pause as she scanned the grid.
"Umm...J10."
Sasuke remained silent. When he didn't react for another five seconds, it became clear who'd won.
She smiled tentatively.
"I sunk your-"
Sasuke threw the game across the room.
**********
Kabuto locked the door and remained in his lab for the next three hours.
After making an example of the next idiot who'd tested his patience, he'd fixed himself a stiff drink and downed it in one shot. Then he sat at his desk, resentfully preparing Orochimaru's nightly elixir until it lay, ready and steaming, in the beaker before him.
He stared at it a moment. Then he poured a strong sedative into it out of spite.
As the colourless fluid blended seamlessly with the murky mixture, the mental image of a drunkenly rambling, strung out Orochimaru passed through his mind.
A small smile curled his lips.
Only it was genuine this time.
**********
The room was deathly silent. The remains of various board games crackled quietly in the fireplace. Singed Monopoly money lay scattered about the floor. A Scrabble piece was embedded in Sasuke's hair.
The two sat cross-legged on the floor across from each other. A chess board rested between them, covered in assorted pieces.
The girl idly scratched her cheek as she considered her next play, wondering where to move her knight. She wasn't employing a set strategy, really. It was more fun taking a gamble with each individual move and figuring out what to do next.
Across from her, Sasuke rested his chin on his tensely laced hands. His mouth was a severe, flat line and his brows were drawn together in concentration. He was watching the board like a hawk.
"Um..." she moved her knight next to his queen. "Here."
The tension gradually seeped from his body. He moved his bishop and set it down near her king. "Checkmate."
"Oh." She blinked and smiled. "You won!"
Sasuke released a slow breath he hadn't known he was holding.
"That was a good game," she remarked, stretching her arms over her head and cracking her back. A yawn slipped past her lips and she brought her hand to her mouth, eyes suddenly growing wide.
"Oh, it's so dark outside. What time is it?"
Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at his bedside clock. He blinked, mildly surprised. "2:30 in the morning."
She gasped and leapt to her feet, squeaking when her pants fell off. Sasuke averted his eyes and pretended to pack away the games as she scrambled for the spare belt he nonchalantly pointed out in his wardrobe.
A minute later, they were standing at his open window.
"Slide down the drain pipe and go for the south wing. The guard's never awake and the back door to the kitchen leads out into the forest. It's a fifteen minute walk to the nearest village."
She nodded, smiling gratefully. "You know, I heard so many horror stories about this place and thought I was a goner when they kidnapped me...but you're not bad at all!"
Sasuke shrugged.
"Thank you for not killing me," she said, bowing. "I had a very nice time."
"Hn," Sasuke said disinterestedly.
"By the way, my name is-"
"I don't care."
She straightened and blinked at him. "You have a Scrabble piece in your hair."
Well, that was embarrassing. Sasuke's hand twitched by his side but he didn't reach up to remove it. "I know," he said aloofly.
She gave him a bemused smile. "You're weird."
Before he could reply, she was clambering out his window and onto the pipe. She aimed one last smile up at him. "Bye."
He nodded once and she slid down the length of it. Then he leaned against the windowsill and watched her as she darted across the grass in her ridiculous clothes and gave him a final wave goodbye. He raised one hand in return. Then she was gone.
After a moment, he reached up and pulled the wooden tile out of his hair, looking at it. It was a Q.
He frowned. Goddamn letter Q. He raised his arm to throw it into the fire, only to reconsider midway and look at it again. After a moment, he enclosed it in his fist with the intent to toss it back into the box later. Just in case.
The scattered Monopoly money and board games remained where they were. The servants could take care of it in the morning. An annoyed look passed over his face when he realized the news would reach Orochimaru that he'd actually been playing with the board games. The old pervert would be ecstatic.
But he had to admit, despite his powerful dislike for the sannin, that the man did, on the rare occasion, do some things right.
Sasuke leaned back against the windowsill and looked out into the night, idly turning the wooden tile between his fingers.
As far as birthdays went, this one hadn't been so bad after all.
Chapter: 19
Genre: Humour/General
Rating: T
Characters: Orochimaru, Sasuke, Kabuto
Prompt: Birthdays
Note: Orochimaru's lair is underground. But for some reason it has several floors and windows in this fic. I don't know how that happened. :D
Birthdays
Orochimaru loved birthdays.
That wasn't to say he made an occasion out of just anyone's birthday; it was actually just his and Sasuke's he liked celebrating.
For his part, the Uchiha had grown to expect the lavish gifts that awaited him every time his birthday rolled around. None of them actually meant anything to him, though, the reason being that Orochimaru had no idea what constituted a useful or practical present.
Instead, the sannin typically went for odd, whimsical, sometimes childish items that would better suit a ten-year-old than a vengeance-driven teenager.
On his fourteenth birthday, Sasuke had been gifted several board games and a video game console. The game that came with it was called The Sims. He'd tried it out a few times out of boredom, only to grow frustrated when the sim he'd deemed Itachi died of starvation before he could kill it himself. That, and the Naruto sim he'd created was just as obnoxious as the one in real life. He wound up throwing the game in the fire.
On his fifteenth birthday, Orochimaru had switched tactics and snuck the gift into Sasuke's room in the middle of the night. The Uchiha had woken at 5:30 AM to a large urine stain on his bed and the feel of a hot, wet tongue licking his face.
His startled yell had woken everyone on the third floor.
He'd kept the Pomeranian for a couple of days despite being horribly allergic, looking for a suitable home for the mutt because the sort of company Orochimaru kept was more likely to eat the dog than raise it as a pet. Sasuke might have been cold, but he wasn't heartless.
Eventually he'd found a dog shelter willing to take the thing in and that was the end of that.
By his sixteenth birthday, Sasuke had grown wary of Orochimaru's tendency for useless, annoying gifts. So it was with a fair degree of caution he made his way to the head table where he'd been summoned.
He stood looking blankly at his birthday present before glancing back at the sannin. "What do I do with this?"
Orochimaru smiled. Rather patronizingly, Sasuke noted with irritation.
"Why, Sasuke, I thought this sort of thing would come naturally to a healthy, virile, teenage boy."
Sasuke glanced at the quivering, scantily clad young girl again before realization dawned on him.
"No."
Orochimaru raised an eyebrow. "No?"
"Perhaps," Kabuto cut in helpfully, aiming a darkly amused look in Sasuke's direction, "she's simply not his preference, Orochimaru-sama."
"Oh?" Orochimaru pondered. "Then perhaps a brunette?"
Kabuto smiled thinly, ignoring the way Sasuke was attempting to glare two smoking holes in his head. "Hmm...something more of a stretch?"
"Something more..." Orochimaru trailed off, his eyes widening. "Oh my."
A positively leery grin spread over his pale face and Sasuke didn't miss the undertone of delight lacing his voice. "Sasuke, was I mistaken in assuming you'd want a lady companion?"
Sasuke just scowled at him.
"In that case, there are several fine male specimens awaiting you in the-"
"Stop." Sasuke held up a hand, fighting the twitch in his eye as Kabuto smirked. "I'll take her."
Orochimaru smiled indulgently. "As you wish, my dear protégé. Enjoy."
"Hn," Sasuke muttered, before glancing at the girl over his shoulder, ignoring the way she quailed under the look. Wordlessly, he began heading off for his room, pausing by the dining hall entrance long enough to beckon to her.
She shakily moved to follow, falling into step behind him as they made their way through the winding halls and to the third floor. He led her to a door at the end of the hall, opening it and ushering her in.
At the same moment, Karin descended the steps from the fourth floor and appeared just in front of his room. He managed to catch her jaw dropping in outrage at the sight of the girl disappearing inside before he slammed the door in her face.
Once they were inside and he'd tuned out Karin's angry shouts, he slowly turned to her with a deadpan expression.
"This is not happening, obviously."
She blinked in confusion. "W-What?"
Without answering, Sasuke turned to his wardrobe and fished out a pair of his pants and a long-sleeved shirt. She reeled backwards when he threw them in her face.
"Put these on."
With that, Sasuke turned his back to her and stared at the floor. After a few seconds of shuffling fabric, she cleared her throat.
"Um...I'm done."
He glanced over his shoulder.
The shirt hung down to her thighs and the pant legs dragged on the ground. She looked ridiculous, but at least she was decent. He turned around to face her properly when she hesitantly held up her torn clothes.
"What should I...?"
"There," Sasuke said briskly, pointing to his fireplace.
She nodded and quickly disposed of the rags.
They stood looking awkwardly at each other. She tugged the ends of her long blonde hair before speaking tentatively.
"Y-You're...not going to rape me?"
Sasuke gave her an annoyed look. "No."
Her shoulders sagged in relief and she looked at him with unconcealed gratitude. "Then can I go?"
He shrugged. "It's light out. If you're seen, you'll be killed."
She deflated. "So should I wait?"
"If you want," he said indifferently.
She nodded and eventually sat down on the floor again.
There was another moment of silence.
She swallowed nervously. "By the way, my name is-"
"I don't care," he interrupted.
She cringed.
There was yet another moment of silence, this one much longer and more awkward as Sasuke just stood there staring at nothing and she gazed at the floor.
After a while, he sighed and glanced around his room. Despite his derision for Ororchimaru's past gifts, he hadn't protested when the servants had stockpiled them inside his closet. Now that he thought about it, Sasuke wondered at Orochimaru's tendency towards board games.
He could only think of three reasons to explain it; Orochimaru hoped that games would keep Sasuke's 'youthful vigour' alive; Orochimaru wanted to get on Sasuke's good side; or lastly-and most probably-Orochimaru was going senile. Sasuke decided to opt for the latter.
He glanced at the clock.
It was a couple of hours before night fell, so the girl would be stuck waiting it out in his room. Training was over for the day. He really had nothing else to do.
Sasuke found his eyes trailing over to the closet despite himself.
Truth be told, he was kind of...lonely. Not that he'd ever admit it. And he did tend to get bored between training sessions. It wouldn't be wrong if he partook in a little leisure time, would it?
Even Itachi, before he'd gone crazy and killed everyone, had taken moments of reprieve between his training and shinobi duties. If Sasuke recalled correctly, his brother had a penchant for tea houses.
Sasuke frowned. He hated tea.
In fact, when he thought about it, he didn't really have a hobby at all.
He looked at the girl again. She was idly picking at a loose thread on her shirt. He shifted imperceptibly towards the closet door.
He supposed, just for one day, it wouldn't kill him to have a little social interaction with someone. Someone normal, at least. Karin was too psychotic. Kabuto was a conniving bastard. And Orochimaru was just self-explanatory.
Mind made up, he strode into his walk-in closet. After rummaging around for a minute, he emerged with a stack of unopened board games and dropped them unceremoniously to the floor. The girl jumped at the noise, looking at him uncertainly when he took a seat across from her and gave her a blank look.
"Pick one."
She stared at him in surprise before looking down at the pile. Her fingers inched towards a deck of cards.
Sasuke swept the other games away and grabbed the deck, tearing off the wrapper. Truth be told, he hadn't played a card game since the massacre, and the only game he knew from that age was...
"Go Fish," he stated imperiously.
The girl nodded because she was too frightened and confused to do anything else and waited as he dealt the cards. They started the first game. Sasuke lost.
Okay, he thought.
They played a second game. Sasuke lost again.
Fluke, he told himself.
They played a third time.
"Do you have any sixes?" she chirped.
Sasuke looked at the six of diamonds in his hand and frowned.
"...Go fish."
**********
Orochimaru toyed with the cherry at the bottom of his parfait glass, raising the spoon every now and then to lick the leftover cream. He looked thoughtful.
Kabuto sat attentively at the other end of the long table. A wary look lingered on his features as he took in the sannin's distracted demeanour.
"Kabuto," Orochimaru suddenly said.
"Yes, Orochimaru-sama?"
"Today is quite a milestone for our boy Sasuke."
Kabuto stared at him, refusing to let his thoughts venture towards the mental images that statement evoked.
"Yes," he said neutrally.
"It makes me rather nostalgic."
Kabuto merely nodded. He was well-aware of Orochimaru's pensive and often odd...moods. Years of service had taught him the 'smile-and-nod' tactic was the best way to deal with it.
"I remember my first love," Orochimaru continued, putting his spoon in his mouth again.
Kabuto smiled tersely.
"Do you remember yours?" the older man asked.
The medic-nin only smiled wider and didn't answer. Orochimaru chuckled.
"Oh, don't be coy, Kabuto."
There was a blissful moment of silence as Orochimaru finished the remains of his dessert and pushed his glass away. He folded his hands and rested his chin on them, eyes rising towards the ceiling.
"I don't hear screaming."
Kabuto's smile froze on his face.
"Sasuke must be a gentle lover," Orochimaru mused.
The medic-nin abruptly stood up.
"Pardon me, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said politely. "My hernia is acting up again. If I may be excused?"
Orochimaru waved him away. Kabuto hurried out of the room, leaving the sannin alone to dwell on his days of youth gone by.
**********
Upstairs, the deck of cards lay smouldering in the fireplace. They'd switched over to a board game called Snakes and Ladders. Not something Sasuke was familiar with, but it seemed simple enough. It prompted him to wonder if he was doing something wrong when every other roll of the dice found him falling down a snake and back to the bottom row as the girl across from him got farther and farther away.
Sasuke looked at the board. She was twenty-two paces ahead of him.
She shook the dice in her hand, blowing on them for luck.
Not eight, he repeated inwardly, staring at the dice as though willing them to burst into flames. Not eight.
She rolled. The dice came to a stop.
"Eight!" she cheered, grabbing her piece and moving it to the winning square. She clapped her hands and gathered the dice as her partner stared stonily at the board.
"That was fun," she said warmly. "Wanna play again? You can go first this time."
Sasuke glared.
**********
Kabuto splashed cold water on his face to cleanse away the inexplicably unclean feeling left over from his last conversation. Straightening over the sink, he dried his face and looked at the mirror.
His reflection frowned back at him.
Orochimaru was well aware of his derision for the Uchiha brat. The last thing he wanted to think about was the pubescent twit popping his cherry.
Fighting back a grimace, he wiped his glasses and put them back on his face the same instant Karin appeared in the doorway to the lab.
"Hey, Kabuto!"
Fighting the urge to sigh, he turned around with a forced smile. "Yes, Karin?"
"Who the hell was that bimbo Sasuke took into his room? I thought outsiders weren't allowed in the lair!"
Kabuto twitched. "That was Orochimaru's birthday gift. If it makes you feel any better, she will probably be killed after he's done with her."
"It's not fair," Karin whined. "I wanted to be his first."
That strained smile found its way onto Kabuto's face again. "Karin, if you don't mind..."
"I stood outside his door listening and couldn't hear a thing. She's probably not even doing it right-"
A lens cracked in Kabuto's glasses. "Karin-"
"Mmm, but the things I'd do to him..." she sighed rapturously.
"Karin."
There was a sudden thunk against the wall next to her head. When she blinked and looked for the source of the noise, she found a scalpel embedded into the concrete and an inch of her hair lying on the floor. She gaped.
Kabuto's smile threatened to crack his face in half. "Get out."
**********
Sasuke spurned the mindless idiocy of the first board game in favour for something that seemed more strategic. The military motif, especially, seemed promising.
After a long moment of consideration, he spoke, voice cold and emotionless. "A4."
She looked over her plastic ships, biting her lip. After a moment, she shook her head. "Miss."
There was a short pause as she scanned the grid.
"Umm...J10."
Sasuke remained silent. When he didn't react for another five seconds, it became clear who'd won.
She smiled tentatively.
"I sunk your-"
Sasuke threw the game across the room.
**********
Kabuto locked the door and remained in his lab for the next three hours.
After making an example of the next idiot who'd tested his patience, he'd fixed himself a stiff drink and downed it in one shot. Then he sat at his desk, resentfully preparing Orochimaru's nightly elixir until it lay, ready and steaming, in the beaker before him.
He stared at it a moment. Then he poured a strong sedative into it out of spite.
As the colourless fluid blended seamlessly with the murky mixture, the mental image of a drunkenly rambling, strung out Orochimaru passed through his mind.
A small smile curled his lips.
Only it was genuine this time.
**********
The room was deathly silent. The remains of various board games crackled quietly in the fireplace. Singed Monopoly money lay scattered about the floor. A Scrabble piece was embedded in Sasuke's hair.
The two sat cross-legged on the floor across from each other. A chess board rested between them, covered in assorted pieces.
The girl idly scratched her cheek as she considered her next play, wondering where to move her knight. She wasn't employing a set strategy, really. It was more fun taking a gamble with each individual move and figuring out what to do next.
Across from her, Sasuke rested his chin on his tensely laced hands. His mouth was a severe, flat line and his brows were drawn together in concentration. He was watching the board like a hawk.
"Um..." she moved her knight next to his queen. "Here."
The tension gradually seeped from his body. He moved his bishop and set it down near her king. "Checkmate."
"Oh." She blinked and smiled. "You won!"
Sasuke released a slow breath he hadn't known he was holding.
"That was a good game," she remarked, stretching her arms over her head and cracking her back. A yawn slipped past her lips and she brought her hand to her mouth, eyes suddenly growing wide.
"Oh, it's so dark outside. What time is it?"
Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at his bedside clock. He blinked, mildly surprised. "2:30 in the morning."
She gasped and leapt to her feet, squeaking when her pants fell off. Sasuke averted his eyes and pretended to pack away the games as she scrambled for the spare belt he nonchalantly pointed out in his wardrobe.
A minute later, they were standing at his open window.
"Slide down the drain pipe and go for the south wing. The guard's never awake and the back door to the kitchen leads out into the forest. It's a fifteen minute walk to the nearest village."
She nodded, smiling gratefully. "You know, I heard so many horror stories about this place and thought I was a goner when they kidnapped me...but you're not bad at all!"
Sasuke shrugged.
"Thank you for not killing me," she said, bowing. "I had a very nice time."
"Hn," Sasuke said disinterestedly.
"By the way, my name is-"
"I don't care."
She straightened and blinked at him. "You have a Scrabble piece in your hair."
Well, that was embarrassing. Sasuke's hand twitched by his side but he didn't reach up to remove it. "I know," he said aloofly.
She gave him a bemused smile. "You're weird."
Before he could reply, she was clambering out his window and onto the pipe. She aimed one last smile up at him. "Bye."
He nodded once and she slid down the length of it. Then he leaned against the windowsill and watched her as she darted across the grass in her ridiculous clothes and gave him a final wave goodbye. He raised one hand in return. Then she was gone.
After a moment, he reached up and pulled the wooden tile out of his hair, looking at it. It was a Q.
He frowned. Goddamn letter Q. He raised his arm to throw it into the fire, only to reconsider midway and look at it again. After a moment, he enclosed it in his fist with the intent to toss it back into the box later. Just in case.
The scattered Monopoly money and board games remained where they were. The servants could take care of it in the morning. An annoyed look passed over his face when he realized the news would reach Orochimaru that he'd actually been playing with the board games. The old pervert would be ecstatic.
But he had to admit, despite his powerful dislike for the sannin, that the man did, on the rare occasion, do some things right.
Sasuke leaned back against the windowsill and looked out into the night, idly turning the wooden tile between his fingers.
As far as birthdays went, this one hadn't been so bad after all.