ISS 2011: FOR LINDEYYY
To: lindeyyy
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Through Distance and Time, We're Still Us
Pairing/Focus: Hoya/Sungjong
Rating: PG
Word count: 4878
Summary: Relationships change, people don't. Or in which howon is dense, sungjong tries to be assertive about his feelings, myungsoo is forever cryptic and the rest are just being themselves.
Howon is a genius at dance. A prodigy the dance coaches at Woollim praises, pride shining in their eyes when Howon yet again pulls off another flawless performance filled with passion and raw talent at the monthly tests. The coaches clap, they praise him, telling him “You’ll go far in the industry Howon. You definitely will. And you can look forward to passing in the top quarter once again,”
Howon leaves the dance room with a slight smile, modest thanks falling from his lips before he closes the door and pumps a fist. Dancing is what he’s good at. Admittedly, Dongwoo’s pretty good at it too but the coaches seem more partial to him and that’s all that matters. He throws Dongwoo a reassuring grin and pats his shoulder. “Good luck hyung,” he says sincerely and Dongwoo smiles nervously before heading into the room when he’s called.
Howon roams down the hallway, mentally running through his training schedule before belatedly remembering that oh, it’s test week. And test week always means that training is put on hold. With a spring in his step, he climbs up the stairs to what he likes to think as ‘his’ dance room to choreograph a dance to that new contemporary song he heard on the radio just the other day.
What he doesn’t expect is for ‘his’ dance room to be occupied by a brown-haired, fair skinned pretty boy who seems to be dancing to track after track of girl group dances. “Hey!” Howon calls out in irritation, frowning. The boy doesn’t appear to have heard him as he continues dancing to Brown Eyed Girls’ Abracadabra, hips swinging seductively and better than any girl’s, Howon reluctantly admits.
The music comes to an end and the boy huffs out a breath, moving over to the radio and plucking his - bright pink - towel off of it and wiping his sweat. When the boy finally turns to the door, he jerks in shock, very nearly tripping over the hems of his sweat pants in shock when he spots Howon hovering by the doorway. “Hello,” the boy chirps, pink lips stretching into a wide, wide smile.
“What are you doing here?” Howon says instead, his tone harsher than intended. The boy doesn’t flinch though and Howon salutes his bravery mentally. “Dancing. What else would I be doing in a dance room?” the boy bites back, rolling his eyes, dabbing at his sweat.
“Well, this is my dance room,” Howon snaps, glaring at him openly, crossing his arms over his chest. The boy laughs delightedly in response. “Your dance room?” he asks with some measure of incredulousness. “This is open to all unless you own this building of course. Anyways, I’m Lee Sungjong, nice too meet you,”
Howon narrows his eyes at Sungjong for a moment longer before caving. “Lee Howon, nice to meet you too,” he mutters, stepping into the room. “Why are you dancing to girl group dances? Real men don’t prance around shaking their hips like girls,”
Sungjong crosses his arms and pouts/glares at the condescending tone Howon has in his voice. “What? Real men are supposed to throw themselves all over the floor and scraping their knees in an attempt to look cool? Ridiculous,” Sungjong scoffs, flipping his hair. “I bet you can’t even dance to a single girl group dance,”
Howon bristles at the smugness in Sungjong’s smirk and snaps, “Of course I can! Choose a song and I’ll dance to it!”
Sungjong still has that irritating smug smirk on as he goes through his iPod before clicking on a song. “Simple, basic song to dance to. Even a five-year-old would be able to dance to this,” he trills. Wonder Girls’ Nobody blasts from the speakers and Howon counts into the song before starting to dance. Sungjong rests against the mirror, watching him critically as Howon executes each step awkwardly.
Howon curses when he sees Sungjong biting his lip in order to stifle his laughter before the music is turned off. “Seriously?” Sungjong laughs. “Seriously? The entire dance consists of shifting from foot to foot and waggling your finger and you can’t even dance to it properly?”
“I was dancing to it!” Howon says, neck heating in embarrassment.
“Of course you were Howon-sshi. A crab would---”
“Sungjong-ah! I thought you were going to wait for me till my singing test was over!” a voice interrupts and both occupants of the room turn to see a dark-haired, passive faced boy standing in the doorway.
“Oh! Myungsoo-hyung!” Sungjong squawks, flailing a little as he unplugs his iPod and grabs his towel, rushing towards his friend. “Sorry! I forgot I had to wait. Can we go eat now?”
Myungsoo nods shortly and pushes Sungjong out the door first before calling back, “Howon-sshi, you may not want to underestimate Sungjong. He passes in the top 11% for the dance tests every month. I’d say that’s better than passing in the top quarter,”
And Howon silently bemoans the fact he ever met Lee Sungjong.
__
He doesn’t quite know how to feel about finally being able to debut in a 7 member boyband. Howon feels one part happy, another part excited and another part horrified at the thought of having to stay in the same dorm as Sungjong. It’s not that he hates the kid, it’s more of he has an aversion towards the bubbly high schooler and his amazing achievement in the dance field.
After meeting Sungjong and Myungsoo all those months ago in the dance room, he’s been following the dance results closely and unfortunately for his poor, poor heart, the girl group dance pro Lee Sungjong does pass every test in the top 11%, which is far beyond Howon’s level much to his chagrin.
Standing in the CEO’s office with Lee Jongyeop and Tablo staring them down and at the same time giving them a pep talk of sorts is one of the few things that scares and excites Howon at the same time. Standing beside him is Dongwoo who has an uncontrolled wide grin pasted on and Howon has to smile as well, the gummy grin infectious.
Out of the six people he’ll be debuting with, Howon only knows three out of the six. Dongwoo, his dance buddy, Sungjong, his rival and Myungsoo a passing acquaintance he happens to see around the building. The other three introduce themselves as Sunggyu, a beady eyed, awkward boy, Woohyun, a boy bursting with confidence and Sunggyu’s best friend and Sungyeol, an ex emcee trainee at SM Entertainment with a streak of mischievousness hidden under his innocent grin.
“Let’s go eat lunch together!” Woohyun announces, linking arms with Sunggyu and Dongwoo, smiling widely. “We can get to know each other better than,” And he’s hurtling out the door, chattering away as Sungyeol and Myungsoo trails after them in silence. Howon and Sungjong are the last to leave the room and lagging behind the group. Just as they are about to enter the cafeteria, Sungjong catches his hand and leads him to a quiet area.
“I don’t know what I ever did to make you not like me but I’m sorry,” he blurts out, eyes averted to Howon’s chest and his shoe making a squeaky sound against the tiles when he scuffs it.
Howon looks down at the boy and can’t help but smile at how adorable he is, great dancing and hip shaking aside. “I think it was all me,” Howon says eventually, ruffling Sungjong’s hair. “Let’s put it behind us and be good friends okay?”
No, the blindingly wide smile Sungjong gives him afterwards alongside the bear hug did not have his palms sweating in nervousness and something more he can’t name.
___
The day they move into their dorm - or rather the CEO’s old, unwanted house with some junk stacked up in the corner of the living room - is chaotic and messy. Boxes and luggage bags are strewn everywhere, occupying more space than the human occupants themselves.
“You’re going to draw lots to see which room you’re sharing,” their manager announces. “If you get the same colour, it means you’re in the same room,”
He holds out a baseball cap with little folded papers inside and Sunggyu is given the opportunity to go first because he’s the oldest and the leader. “Blue,” Sunggyu says after unfolding the paper. They groan. Blue means he gets the room without the bunk beds and the master bedroom.
Dongwoo plucks out red and grins in relief. He’s got the second largest room.
Woohyun plucks out blue and shrieks in joy, squishing Sunggyu in a neck-breaking hug. “Hey bestie!” he shrieks. “We’re roomies!” Sunggyu smiles helplessly with a touch of fondness in response before choking and panicking Woohyun.
Howon rolls his eyes at their blatant love for each other and ignores Woohyun’s cries of “Call 911! Sunggyu is dying!” and Dongwoo’s raucous laugh as he plucks out his own square. “Yellow,” he says. “I take dibs on the lower bunk,” he adds immediately after, smirking at the remaining three members.
Sungyeol takes yellow as well and pouts. “I wanted red!”
Myungsoo shakes his head at Sungyeol’s childishness and smirks when he gets red. A catfight for the lot ensues amongst the boxes and luggage bags as Sungjong plucks out the remaining yellow lot and grins brightly at Howon. “Looks like we’re roommates huh? I’ll take top bunk!” he chirrups cheerfully, throwing an arm around Howon’s shoulder and squeezing him in a one-armed hug.
___
The night before their debut is spent in their dance room, going through their debut song over and over again without a break as Sunggyu nitpicks every single mistake and gives pep talks after when they break for water and some food.
“We can do this guys,” Sunggyu says with conviction, looking every member in the eye. “There’s a reason we were the chosen ones for Infinite and let’s prove it to Jongyeop-sajangnim, Tablo-hyung and everyone who’ll be watching us debut,”
“Hear, hear!” Sungyeol calls out excitedly, a bundle of excited nervousness packed in his stringy body. “Circle around and let’s shout fighting once before going back and getting some rest,” Sunggyu orders and everyone crowds in, sweat sticky skin squishing together as they put their hands in. No one complains because they’re used to it already by now and Howon feels a surge of pride at how far they’ve come since they were chosen. They were nearly family now.
“Hana, deul, set,” Sunggyu counts.
“Infinite, fighting!” they shout, throwing their hands in the air. Howon can only wonder why Sungjong was looking at him when they did that. They pack up afterwards, Dongwoo heading to Sunggyu to get more pointers on his part of the song, the leader quietly advising him and smiling encouragingly. Woohyun and Sungyeol conquer the stand fan, opening their mouths and saying ‘ahhhh~’ because they like the way their voices sound when it filters through the fan. Myungsoo waits by the doorway, impassive as ever but Howon knows by now the younger is actually nervous.
“Hyung~” Sungjong sings, catching his hand in his own, intertwining their fingers. “Wanna go over the song with me whilst waiting for the shower later?”
Howon smiles gently at the maknae, heart bursting with affection for the bubbly boy. “Sure. But just the singing right? My muscles will kill me if i try dancing again. I’ve got a cramp in my thigh after repeating the chorus thirty five times,” Howon replies agreeably. “Sunggyu-hyung’s a slavedriver,”
Sungjong giggles, leaning against the dancer. “But he means well. He’s always helping us out with our parts. It’s a wonder he hasn’t passed out with exhaustion yet,”
Howon glances over to where Sunggyu is fighting back a yawn as he guides Sungyeol through the chorus one last time before they call it a night and head back to the dorm. Howon knows Sunggyu’s legs are aching by now because the leader’s been in here since 5.30 this morning when they were meant to come in at 8.
“He’s a good leader,” Howon murmurs in agreement. “Come on, let’s go wait in the car before you keel over,” He wraps an arm around Sungjong’s slim waist and helps him down the stairs and into the car, shaking his head fondly when he hears Woohyun’s demands for Sunggyu to “Stop taxing yourself Sunggyu-ah! You’re already perfect! Let’s go!”
“They’re so obvious,” Sungjong laughs, curling around Howon, head resting on the crook between Howon’s neck and shoulder. “They are. But they’re still insisting they’re only friends,” Sungyeol butts in, grinning as he pokes a resting Myungsoo who gives no reaction.
The ride back to the dorm is quiet and the rest of the night finds a freshly showered Sungjong and Howon curled up together in Howon’s bed sharing earphones and listening to music together. They end up not going through their debut track together but rather lip-syncing to girl group songs.
Howon doesn’t bother waking Sungjong up to get him back into his own bed when the maknae dozes off in the middle of Oh! and just hugs him close, pulling a blanket up around them. “Goodnight Sungjong,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the younger boy’s forehead.
___
Somewhere between She’s Back and Before the Dawn, Howon starts noticing how his relationship with Sungjong is changing. It’s no longer the ‘let’s be there for each other because with members’ kind of a relationship but more of a ‘we’re becoming best friends’ sort of relationship although Howon has to admit with great reluctance that Sungjong’s number one best friend is Myungsoo.
Yet Howon doesn’t really question it when Sungjong comes up to him with Mr. Bear - a large white teddy bear with a ribbon around its neck given to Sungjong by a fan - pouting and whining for “Cuddle time hyung! I want to cuddle,” because Sungjong knows that Howon will give in to his request and sad, kicked puppy pout without a complaint.
He could get Sunggyu to coddle him - not like the leader doesn’t anyways - but Woohyun would kill him for cutting into Woogyu’s cuddle time. Myungsoo’s too blank-faced for a cuddle - Sungjong thinks Myungsoo would look great as a serial killer but don’t tell him - and Sungyeol would probably give him a wedgie somewhere in the middle of the cuddle, something that’s distinctly unpleasant. Dongwoo would laugh and joke far too much and the supposedly quiet and comfortable cuddle will become one with boisterous laughter and stitches in his sides.
So Howon is the ideal person for Sungjong to demand cuddle time from.
On days when Sungjong needs a hand with his homework, he gets into Howon’s bed with his work and they sit together to try and do it, laughing when they get it wrong and have to enlist Sunggyu’s help with the corrections because Sunggyu is super leader.
But Howon is aware of how uncomfortable he is whenever Sungjong initiates any form of skin-ship between them because of attractive the maknae is getting. It isn’t that Sungjong wasn’t attractive before, it’s just more obvious now how much he looks like a girl and is all soft skin and pretty, pouty, pink lips. The blonde hair makes it all the more obvious now.
Howon can hardly go a day without feeling a rush of something - he refuses to call it arousal, Sunggyu and Myungsoo would kill him - for the maknae especially when Sungjong deigns it time for him to conquer the living room with his daily dosage of girl group dances.
And through it all, Sungjong remains bubbly, bright and touchy feely with Howon because that’s just how it is now and Howon can do nothing but succumb to Sungjong’s demands because well, it’s Sungjong. It doesn’t mean he has to put up with Myungsoo smirking that infuriating ‘i know what’s going on smirk’ every time he steps into Hojongyeol’s room and finds Sungjong snuggled up to Howon and deeply asleep.
___
Somewhere during Nothing’s Over, Howon realises that Sungjong tends to avoid him a lot more now. After getting used to months of random back hugs and hand holding and cuddles, Howon finds it odd that Sungjong turns in the opposite direction every time he sees Howon or makes an excuse when Howon offers to cuddle with the maknae.
He is cornered by Myungsoo one fine evening when Sungjong, Sungyeol and Dongwoo are out buying them dinner in the little noodle place a couple of blocks down and Howon has the room to himself. “You’re an idiot,” Myungsoo announces, stepping into the room and shutting the door firmly. “Hyung,” he adds moments later, taking a seat on the lower bunk below Sungyeol’s bed that’s cluttered with clothes and gadgets and books.
“What? Why?” Howon questions, confused.
“Oh goodness,” Myungsoo mutters under his breath. “Of all the members, it had to be you,”
“Myungsoo, stop mumbling,” Howon says, more confused than ever.
“Sungjong’s avoiding you,”
“...I’m aware, thank you,” Howon replies dryly. “If that’s all,” And he turns back to his manhwa.
“Don’t you wonder why he is?” Myungsoo presses on, smirking a little when Howon turns his attention back to him. “He named his bear after you,”
“He did not! It’s called Mr. Bear!” Howon says indignantly.
Myungsoo rolls his eyes. “That’s what he told you. But he named it Howon-bear or as he lovingly calls it Hobear. I’m his best friend. He told me,”
Howon sulks a little at the use of the best friend card.
“He asks you to take him out for ice cream and a walk by the Han River during our free time,” Myungsoo continues.
“Because he knows I’d succumb to his sad pout!” Howon retorts.
“He shares food with you. Sungjong. Sharing food,” Myungsoo pushes further, cursing Sungjong for ever liking this dense excuse for a human being.
“...What?” Howon says, lost. “Stop being cryptic and just tell me what you want to say Myungsoo-ah!”
“I won’t. It’s no use,” Myungsoo sighs, standing up and brushing his clothes down. “You have to figure it out yourself in order for it to mean something. Have fun,” And Myungsoo leaves, closing the door on Howon’s frustrated scream.
___
Somewhere during Be Mine finds Infinite with a rare off day because ever since their sudden boom in popularity, they’ve been flooded with interviews, shows and performances. On a free Thursday where everyone is home and doing their own things, Howon is in his room catching up with his dramas as Sungyeol, Woohyun and Dongwoo duke it out on the fan given PS3 with Sunggyu providing them all refreshments and Myungsoo keeping score.
Sungjong is flitting about the dorm doing Sungjong stuff and Howon is blissfully thankful for the alone time although he does enjoy spending time with the maknae. Right after the confusing talk with Myungsoo a few months ago, things between him and Sungjong seemed to go back to normal. Normal meaning lots of touching and free food for Sungjong and for that Howon is glad albeit a little confused because Sungjong’s actions seem to hold more affection.
The door to the bedroom bursts open as Sungjong comes bouncing in. “Howonnie~” he says happily. “Sunggyu-hyung sends orange juice!”
Howon sits up and smiles. “Thanks,” he says, taking the glass of orange juice and downing half of it in one go. “What’s got you so happy Jongie-ah?” he asks when Sungjong flops down on his bed.
“Sungyeol-hyung got me the lip gloss I’ve been trying to find!” he squeals, shoving the tube in Howon’s face. “Look, doesn’t it make my lips look pretty?” he asks, tugging on Howon’s shirt, moving to sit between the dancer’s legs, his face invading Howon’s personal space and his sweet breath puffing on Howon’s nose.
The dancer swallows nervously, glancing down at the invitingly pink lips and barely resisting the urge to kiss them till their swollen and red. “Um... Yeah,” he stammers out an agreement and Sungjong squeals in delight, leaning back. “You should try some too!” Sungjong says suddenly, smiling mischievously.
“Oh no,” Howon declines, trying to back away. Sungjong smirks and screams a loud battle cry, tackling his hyung on the bed and straddling his friend’s torso with his skinny legs, knees jabbing into Howon’s ribs as he leans over, trying to get the lip gloss on a struggling Howon’s lips.
They’re so pre-occupied with their wrestle match that they don’t hear the door opening and Sungyeol popping his head in. “Hyung, Sungjong, Sunggyu-hyung wants to know if you’re--- OH MY GOD. LEADERGYU! SUNGGYU-HYUNG!” Sungyeol asks, shrieking when he sees the position the maknae and the dancer is in.
“Sungyeol, stop shouting,” Sunggyu scolds.
“NO! HYUNG! HOWON IS CORRUPTING THE MAKNAE!” Sungyeol shrieks, throwing the door open to the members to reveal Sungjong straddling Howon, their faces in a near kiss.
There’s silence and then there’s a thud sound as Sunggyu passes out, Howon hurriedly throwing Sungjong off him to tell them that “You guys got the wrong idea! We weren’t doing anything... Sick!”
Woohyun glares at him from the floor where he’s cradling Infinite’s leader to his chest and huffs out, “Yeah right. Go away Howon,” And drags Sunggyu to his room with Dongwoo’s help. Howon massages his temple, feeling a headache rise behind his eyes. It doesn’t help matters that Sungyeol is still shrieking and flailing wildly, Sungjong is sitting rumpled and deliciously confused on his bed and Myungsoo is smirking that all-knowing smirk of his.
___
“Hyung,” Howon whispers, opening the door to Sunggyu’s bedroom quietly. “Leader-nim,” he whispers again when he gets no response.
“Mmrf...” Sunggyu mutters. “Wha.... Howon? What’re you doing?”
“I need help,” Howon admits, coming into the room and closing the door, flooding the room with darkness again.
“Can it wait?” Sunggyu asks sleepily, yawning widely. Howon feels a little guilty for waking the leader when he catches the sight of the dark smudges that ring Sunggyu’s red eyes. “No,” he says. “Sorry hyung,”
Sunggyu smiles faintly, lifting his blanket and allowing Howon to slip in. “What is it?” he asks without fanfare once Howon is settled.
“It’s Sungjong,” he breathes out. “I think... I think I like him hyung,”
There’s a beat of silence and Howon thinks Sunggyu has gone back to sleep. “Then why are you telling me?” Sunggyu asks eventually. “Tell Sungjong,”
“No, you don’t!” Howon sighs in frustration, tears pooling at his eyes. “I can’t like him hyung! He’s the maknae and my friend. It’s wrong!”
Sunggyu sighs and tugs Howon into an embrace, feeling tears wet his shirt. “Who says it’s wrong? There’s nothing wrong with liking someone Howon-ah,” Sunggyu says quietly, running his fingers through the dancer’s hair. “If someone tells you it’s wrong to love, punch them. We’ve got no time to date. It’s no surprise you’re going to fall for Sungjongie. He is pretty special and wonderful after all,”
“But what if the others look at me differently?” Howon asks fearfully.
“Then I’ll beat them up,” Sunggyu shrugs and Howon laughs tearily at the thought of the loving Sunggyu ever beating up any one of the members no matter how irritating they get. “Okay fine, not me but I’ll send Woohyun. If you really like Sungjong, tell him,”
“And if he doesn’t like me?”
“You really are an idiot Lee Howon,” another voice comes and Howon very nearly knocks his head onto Sunggyu’s chin in shock. “Hi Gyu,” the voice says affectionately and from Sunggyu’s smile, Howon knows it’s Woohyun.
“Sungjong likes you Howon. You really are as dense as Myungsoo says you are,” Woohyun says exasperatedly, turning his attention back to the dancer. “Hyun-ah!” Sunggyu admonishes.
“It’s true!” Woohyun insists. “Tell him tomorrow Howon and get out of my room. I want private time with my Sunggyu okay? Shoo,”
“Woohyun!” Sunggyu says, aghast, hugging Howon. “Howon came to me for help and you’re chasing him away. But Howon-ah, that dumb tree is right. Tell him okay?” Sunggyu smiles down at Howon and in that instance, Howon thinks he sees what Woohyun sees every time the singer looks at the leader. Sunggyu presses a gentle kiss to his brow and releases him.
“Thanks hyung,” Howon says, smiling and feeling a burden lift off his shoulders. “You really are quite beautiful hyung. Goodnight,” He leaves the room to Woohyun’s glare and Sunggyu’s blush, catching Woohyun’s muffled words, “I didn’t like you guys cuddling but Howon is right. You’re beautiful,”
And Howon goes to bed, feeling lighter than he has in days.
___
“Sungjong-ah, I like you,”
Silence, nerve wracking silence and then a sob tears its way out of Sungjong’s throat as bony arms crush him in a hug.
“You’re an idiot! I like you too!” Sungjong cries, sniffling into Howon’s neck. And Howon smiles, he brushes away Sungjong’s tears and he leans in, tasting Sungjong’s smile for the first time.
___
It’s the day after they’ve moved into their new dorms. No one really expected for Infinite to win on M!Countdown but everyone was in tears as they paraded their award on the stage, tears staining their make up. Sungjong had cried the hardest and Howon spent the entire night just holding the maknae close. He knows there are times when Sungjong wonderd if allowing himself to take up such a finite career is worth it and that one award made everything okay again.
Howon hums Be Mine under his breath as he sits behind the balcony window watching it rain, a light shiver wracking his body. Absently, he wonders where his shirt is and he spots Sungjong shuffling out of their new room - it’s a little like the old dorm where hojongyeol are still in the same room - with a blanket wrapped around his lean almost skinny frame. He smiles sleepily when he sees Howon sitting cross-legged before the balcony and shuffles his way over, stepping on the blanket a few times as it slips down, showing off milky shoulders marked with dark bites, a reminder of what happened last night after the partying was done.
Thankfully, they had the room to themselves as Sungyeol had partied a little too hard and crashed in the living room. The lack of a snoring Sungyeol in the living room only meant that someone had dragged him into one of the other rooms to sleep. Howon welcomes his younger lover with a gentle smile and an even gentler kiss to the full lips, Sungjong curled up in the space between Howon’s legs.
“Cuddle time,” Sungjong says sleepily, smiling satedly.
Howon breathes out a laugh as he presses a kiss to Sungjong’s bony shoulder. “You’re thinking too hard Jongie-ah,” he murmurs the words into the skin of the maknae’s shoulder. Sungjong shivers at the sensation as he says quietly, “I miss our old dorm. Even though it was leaky and lacked privacy, we started out there,”
Howon smiles a little then at how his lover and friend hasn’t changed at all from the time they met. The Sungjong he knows from all those days back into their debut was whiny and hated major changes. He’d fuss and throw a tantrum and everyone would coddle him in order to quiet him.
“You haven’t changed at all,” Howon chuckles.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sungjong huffs, pouting slightly.
“It means you’re still the Lee Sungjong I met all those months ago in the dance room shaking his hips to Abracadabra,”
Sungjong smiles and perks up when he notices some writing on the balcony’s glass door. The words aren’t clear and is runny no thanks to the rain but his smile says that he can read it just as well. “What’s this Howonnie? Coming out here so early in the morning just to write ‘i love you’ on our balcony door?” he teases.
Howon flushes a little and makes a non-committal sound. Sungjong sighs, tilting his head back to rest it against Howon’s sturdy shoulder. “Sometimes I wonder if we’ve changed,” he says seriously.
“We won’t change Sungjong-ah,” Howon reassures him, stroking his lover’s bony wrist. “Our relationship did but we’re still the same Howon and Sungjong. You’re still going to demand for attention when you feel sad or cuddle time when you’re in need for someone to show you they care. You’d still throw a tantrum if we tease you and you’re still going to be the same bubbly Sungjong that bounces from room to room singing girl group songs at the top of your lungs. You’re still Lee Sungjong no matter where we go so don’t worry,”
Sungjong smiles after that, lazily pressing his lips to the column of Howon’s throat as they watch the sun rise together in silence.
“Hyung, do you think we’ll last?” he ventures solemnly. And Howon knows he isn’t just talking about Infinite but them as well. He turns Sungjong’s head to look the younger in the eye as he replies with sincerity, “Of course Jongie-ah. We are Infinite after all,”
And they smile. As the sun’s morning glow washes over them, the new dorm comes to life, yawns, complaints and laughter permeating the still air and it’s another day as Lee Sungjong, Lee Howon and Infinite.
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Through Distance and Time, We're Still Us
Pairing/Focus: Hoya/Sungjong
Rating: PG
Word count: 4878
Summary: Relationships change, people don't. Or in which howon is dense, sungjong tries to be assertive about his feelings, myungsoo is forever cryptic and the rest are just being themselves.
Howon is a genius at dance. A prodigy the dance coaches at Woollim praises, pride shining in their eyes when Howon yet again pulls off another flawless performance filled with passion and raw talent at the monthly tests. The coaches clap, they praise him, telling him “You’ll go far in the industry Howon. You definitely will. And you can look forward to passing in the top quarter once again,”
Howon leaves the dance room with a slight smile, modest thanks falling from his lips before he closes the door and pumps a fist. Dancing is what he’s good at. Admittedly, Dongwoo’s pretty good at it too but the coaches seem more partial to him and that’s all that matters. He throws Dongwoo a reassuring grin and pats his shoulder. “Good luck hyung,” he says sincerely and Dongwoo smiles nervously before heading into the room when he’s called.
Howon roams down the hallway, mentally running through his training schedule before belatedly remembering that oh, it’s test week. And test week always means that training is put on hold. With a spring in his step, he climbs up the stairs to what he likes to think as ‘his’ dance room to choreograph a dance to that new contemporary song he heard on the radio just the other day.
What he doesn’t expect is for ‘his’ dance room to be occupied by a brown-haired, fair skinned pretty boy who seems to be dancing to track after track of girl group dances. “Hey!” Howon calls out in irritation, frowning. The boy doesn’t appear to have heard him as he continues dancing to Brown Eyed Girls’ Abracadabra, hips swinging seductively and better than any girl’s, Howon reluctantly admits.
The music comes to an end and the boy huffs out a breath, moving over to the radio and plucking his - bright pink - towel off of it and wiping his sweat. When the boy finally turns to the door, he jerks in shock, very nearly tripping over the hems of his sweat pants in shock when he spots Howon hovering by the doorway. “Hello,” the boy chirps, pink lips stretching into a wide, wide smile.
“What are you doing here?” Howon says instead, his tone harsher than intended. The boy doesn’t flinch though and Howon salutes his bravery mentally. “Dancing. What else would I be doing in a dance room?” the boy bites back, rolling his eyes, dabbing at his sweat.
“Well, this is my dance room,” Howon snaps, glaring at him openly, crossing his arms over his chest. The boy laughs delightedly in response. “Your dance room?” he asks with some measure of incredulousness. “This is open to all unless you own this building of course. Anyways, I’m Lee Sungjong, nice too meet you,”
Howon narrows his eyes at Sungjong for a moment longer before caving. “Lee Howon, nice to meet you too,” he mutters, stepping into the room. “Why are you dancing to girl group dances? Real men don’t prance around shaking their hips like girls,”
Sungjong crosses his arms and pouts/glares at the condescending tone Howon has in his voice. “What? Real men are supposed to throw themselves all over the floor and scraping their knees in an attempt to look cool? Ridiculous,” Sungjong scoffs, flipping his hair. “I bet you can’t even dance to a single girl group dance,”
Howon bristles at the smugness in Sungjong’s smirk and snaps, “Of course I can! Choose a song and I’ll dance to it!”
Sungjong still has that irritating smug smirk on as he goes through his iPod before clicking on a song. “Simple, basic song to dance to. Even a five-year-old would be able to dance to this,” he trills. Wonder Girls’ Nobody blasts from the speakers and Howon counts into the song before starting to dance. Sungjong rests against the mirror, watching him critically as Howon executes each step awkwardly.
Howon curses when he sees Sungjong biting his lip in order to stifle his laughter before the music is turned off. “Seriously?” Sungjong laughs. “Seriously? The entire dance consists of shifting from foot to foot and waggling your finger and you can’t even dance to it properly?”
“I was dancing to it!” Howon says, neck heating in embarrassment.
“Of course you were Howon-sshi. A crab would---”
“Sungjong-ah! I thought you were going to wait for me till my singing test was over!” a voice interrupts and both occupants of the room turn to see a dark-haired, passive faced boy standing in the doorway.
“Oh! Myungsoo-hyung!” Sungjong squawks, flailing a little as he unplugs his iPod and grabs his towel, rushing towards his friend. “Sorry! I forgot I had to wait. Can we go eat now?”
Myungsoo nods shortly and pushes Sungjong out the door first before calling back, “Howon-sshi, you may not want to underestimate Sungjong. He passes in the top 11% for the dance tests every month. I’d say that’s better than passing in the top quarter,”
And Howon silently bemoans the fact he ever met Lee Sungjong.
__
He doesn’t quite know how to feel about finally being able to debut in a 7 member boyband. Howon feels one part happy, another part excited and another part horrified at the thought of having to stay in the same dorm as Sungjong. It’s not that he hates the kid, it’s more of he has an aversion towards the bubbly high schooler and his amazing achievement in the dance field.
After meeting Sungjong and Myungsoo all those months ago in the dance room, he’s been following the dance results closely and unfortunately for his poor, poor heart, the girl group dance pro Lee Sungjong does pass every test in the top 11%, which is far beyond Howon’s level much to his chagrin.
Standing in the CEO’s office with Lee Jongyeop and Tablo staring them down and at the same time giving them a pep talk of sorts is one of the few things that scares and excites Howon at the same time. Standing beside him is Dongwoo who has an uncontrolled wide grin pasted on and Howon has to smile as well, the gummy grin infectious.
Out of the six people he’ll be debuting with, Howon only knows three out of the six. Dongwoo, his dance buddy, Sungjong, his rival and Myungsoo a passing acquaintance he happens to see around the building. The other three introduce themselves as Sunggyu, a beady eyed, awkward boy, Woohyun, a boy bursting with confidence and Sunggyu’s best friend and Sungyeol, an ex emcee trainee at SM Entertainment with a streak of mischievousness hidden under his innocent grin.
“Let’s go eat lunch together!” Woohyun announces, linking arms with Sunggyu and Dongwoo, smiling widely. “We can get to know each other better than,” And he’s hurtling out the door, chattering away as Sungyeol and Myungsoo trails after them in silence. Howon and Sungjong are the last to leave the room and lagging behind the group. Just as they are about to enter the cafeteria, Sungjong catches his hand and leads him to a quiet area.
“I don’t know what I ever did to make you not like me but I’m sorry,” he blurts out, eyes averted to Howon’s chest and his shoe making a squeaky sound against the tiles when he scuffs it.
Howon looks down at the boy and can’t help but smile at how adorable he is, great dancing and hip shaking aside. “I think it was all me,” Howon says eventually, ruffling Sungjong’s hair. “Let’s put it behind us and be good friends okay?”
No, the blindingly wide smile Sungjong gives him afterwards alongside the bear hug did not have his palms sweating in nervousness and something more he can’t name.
___
The day they move into their dorm - or rather the CEO’s old, unwanted house with some junk stacked up in the corner of the living room - is chaotic and messy. Boxes and luggage bags are strewn everywhere, occupying more space than the human occupants themselves.
“You’re going to draw lots to see which room you’re sharing,” their manager announces. “If you get the same colour, it means you’re in the same room,”
He holds out a baseball cap with little folded papers inside and Sunggyu is given the opportunity to go first because he’s the oldest and the leader. “Blue,” Sunggyu says after unfolding the paper. They groan. Blue means he gets the room without the bunk beds and the master bedroom.
Dongwoo plucks out red and grins in relief. He’s got the second largest room.
Woohyun plucks out blue and shrieks in joy, squishing Sunggyu in a neck-breaking hug. “Hey bestie!” he shrieks. “We’re roomies!” Sunggyu smiles helplessly with a touch of fondness in response before choking and panicking Woohyun.
Howon rolls his eyes at their blatant love for each other and ignores Woohyun’s cries of “Call 911! Sunggyu is dying!” and Dongwoo’s raucous laugh as he plucks out his own square. “Yellow,” he says. “I take dibs on the lower bunk,” he adds immediately after, smirking at the remaining three members.
Sungyeol takes yellow as well and pouts. “I wanted red!”
Myungsoo shakes his head at Sungyeol’s childishness and smirks when he gets red. A catfight for the lot ensues amongst the boxes and luggage bags as Sungjong plucks out the remaining yellow lot and grins brightly at Howon. “Looks like we’re roommates huh? I’ll take top bunk!” he chirrups cheerfully, throwing an arm around Howon’s shoulder and squeezing him in a one-armed hug.
___
The night before their debut is spent in their dance room, going through their debut song over and over again without a break as Sunggyu nitpicks every single mistake and gives pep talks after when they break for water and some food.
“We can do this guys,” Sunggyu says with conviction, looking every member in the eye. “There’s a reason we were the chosen ones for Infinite and let’s prove it to Jongyeop-sajangnim, Tablo-hyung and everyone who’ll be watching us debut,”
“Hear, hear!” Sungyeol calls out excitedly, a bundle of excited nervousness packed in his stringy body. “Circle around and let’s shout fighting once before going back and getting some rest,” Sunggyu orders and everyone crowds in, sweat sticky skin squishing together as they put their hands in. No one complains because they’re used to it already by now and Howon feels a surge of pride at how far they’ve come since they were chosen. They were nearly family now.
“Hana, deul, set,” Sunggyu counts.
“Infinite, fighting!” they shout, throwing their hands in the air. Howon can only wonder why Sungjong was looking at him when they did that. They pack up afterwards, Dongwoo heading to Sunggyu to get more pointers on his part of the song, the leader quietly advising him and smiling encouragingly. Woohyun and Sungyeol conquer the stand fan, opening their mouths and saying ‘ahhhh~’ because they like the way their voices sound when it filters through the fan. Myungsoo waits by the doorway, impassive as ever but Howon knows by now the younger is actually nervous.
“Hyung~” Sungjong sings, catching his hand in his own, intertwining their fingers. “Wanna go over the song with me whilst waiting for the shower later?”
Howon smiles gently at the maknae, heart bursting with affection for the bubbly boy. “Sure. But just the singing right? My muscles will kill me if i try dancing again. I’ve got a cramp in my thigh after repeating the chorus thirty five times,” Howon replies agreeably. “Sunggyu-hyung’s a slavedriver,”
Sungjong giggles, leaning against the dancer. “But he means well. He’s always helping us out with our parts. It’s a wonder he hasn’t passed out with exhaustion yet,”
Howon glances over to where Sunggyu is fighting back a yawn as he guides Sungyeol through the chorus one last time before they call it a night and head back to the dorm. Howon knows Sunggyu’s legs are aching by now because the leader’s been in here since 5.30 this morning when they were meant to come in at 8.
“He’s a good leader,” Howon murmurs in agreement. “Come on, let’s go wait in the car before you keel over,” He wraps an arm around Sungjong’s slim waist and helps him down the stairs and into the car, shaking his head fondly when he hears Woohyun’s demands for Sunggyu to “Stop taxing yourself Sunggyu-ah! You’re already perfect! Let’s go!”
“They’re so obvious,” Sungjong laughs, curling around Howon, head resting on the crook between Howon’s neck and shoulder. “They are. But they’re still insisting they’re only friends,” Sungyeol butts in, grinning as he pokes a resting Myungsoo who gives no reaction.
The ride back to the dorm is quiet and the rest of the night finds a freshly showered Sungjong and Howon curled up together in Howon’s bed sharing earphones and listening to music together. They end up not going through their debut track together but rather lip-syncing to girl group songs.
Howon doesn’t bother waking Sungjong up to get him back into his own bed when the maknae dozes off in the middle of Oh! and just hugs him close, pulling a blanket up around them. “Goodnight Sungjong,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the younger boy’s forehead.
___
Somewhere between She’s Back and Before the Dawn, Howon starts noticing how his relationship with Sungjong is changing. It’s no longer the ‘let’s be there for each other because with members’ kind of a relationship but more of a ‘we’re becoming best friends’ sort of relationship although Howon has to admit with great reluctance that Sungjong’s number one best friend is Myungsoo.
Yet Howon doesn’t really question it when Sungjong comes up to him with Mr. Bear - a large white teddy bear with a ribbon around its neck given to Sungjong by a fan - pouting and whining for “Cuddle time hyung! I want to cuddle,” because Sungjong knows that Howon will give in to his request and sad, kicked puppy pout without a complaint.
He could get Sunggyu to coddle him - not like the leader doesn’t anyways - but Woohyun would kill him for cutting into Woogyu’s cuddle time. Myungsoo’s too blank-faced for a cuddle - Sungjong thinks Myungsoo would look great as a serial killer but don’t tell him - and Sungyeol would probably give him a wedgie somewhere in the middle of the cuddle, something that’s distinctly unpleasant. Dongwoo would laugh and joke far too much and the supposedly quiet and comfortable cuddle will become one with boisterous laughter and stitches in his sides.
So Howon is the ideal person for Sungjong to demand cuddle time from.
On days when Sungjong needs a hand with his homework, he gets into Howon’s bed with his work and they sit together to try and do it, laughing when they get it wrong and have to enlist Sunggyu’s help with the corrections because Sunggyu is super leader.
But Howon is aware of how uncomfortable he is whenever Sungjong initiates any form of skin-ship between them because of attractive the maknae is getting. It isn’t that Sungjong wasn’t attractive before, it’s just more obvious now how much he looks like a girl and is all soft skin and pretty, pouty, pink lips. The blonde hair makes it all the more obvious now.
Howon can hardly go a day without feeling a rush of something - he refuses to call it arousal, Sunggyu and Myungsoo would kill him - for the maknae especially when Sungjong deigns it time for him to conquer the living room with his daily dosage of girl group dances.
And through it all, Sungjong remains bubbly, bright and touchy feely with Howon because that’s just how it is now and Howon can do nothing but succumb to Sungjong’s demands because well, it’s Sungjong. It doesn’t mean he has to put up with Myungsoo smirking that infuriating ‘i know what’s going on smirk’ every time he steps into Hojongyeol’s room and finds Sungjong snuggled up to Howon and deeply asleep.
___
Somewhere during Nothing’s Over, Howon realises that Sungjong tends to avoid him a lot more now. After getting used to months of random back hugs and hand holding and cuddles, Howon finds it odd that Sungjong turns in the opposite direction every time he sees Howon or makes an excuse when Howon offers to cuddle with the maknae.
He is cornered by Myungsoo one fine evening when Sungjong, Sungyeol and Dongwoo are out buying them dinner in the little noodle place a couple of blocks down and Howon has the room to himself. “You’re an idiot,” Myungsoo announces, stepping into the room and shutting the door firmly. “Hyung,” he adds moments later, taking a seat on the lower bunk below Sungyeol’s bed that’s cluttered with clothes and gadgets and books.
“What? Why?” Howon questions, confused.
“Oh goodness,” Myungsoo mutters under his breath. “Of all the members, it had to be you,”
“Myungsoo, stop mumbling,” Howon says, more confused than ever.
“Sungjong’s avoiding you,”
“...I’m aware, thank you,” Howon replies dryly. “If that’s all,” And he turns back to his manhwa.
“Don’t you wonder why he is?” Myungsoo presses on, smirking a little when Howon turns his attention back to him. “He named his bear after you,”
“He did not! It’s called Mr. Bear!” Howon says indignantly.
Myungsoo rolls his eyes. “That’s what he told you. But he named it Howon-bear or as he lovingly calls it Hobear. I’m his best friend. He told me,”
Howon sulks a little at the use of the best friend card.
“He asks you to take him out for ice cream and a walk by the Han River during our free time,” Myungsoo continues.
“Because he knows I’d succumb to his sad pout!” Howon retorts.
“He shares food with you. Sungjong. Sharing food,” Myungsoo pushes further, cursing Sungjong for ever liking this dense excuse for a human being.
“...What?” Howon says, lost. “Stop being cryptic and just tell me what you want to say Myungsoo-ah!”
“I won’t. It’s no use,” Myungsoo sighs, standing up and brushing his clothes down. “You have to figure it out yourself in order for it to mean something. Have fun,” And Myungsoo leaves, closing the door on Howon’s frustrated scream.
___
Somewhere during Be Mine finds Infinite with a rare off day because ever since their sudden boom in popularity, they’ve been flooded with interviews, shows and performances. On a free Thursday where everyone is home and doing their own things, Howon is in his room catching up with his dramas as Sungyeol, Woohyun and Dongwoo duke it out on the fan given PS3 with Sunggyu providing them all refreshments and Myungsoo keeping score.
Sungjong is flitting about the dorm doing Sungjong stuff and Howon is blissfully thankful for the alone time although he does enjoy spending time with the maknae. Right after the confusing talk with Myungsoo a few months ago, things between him and Sungjong seemed to go back to normal. Normal meaning lots of touching and free food for Sungjong and for that Howon is glad albeit a little confused because Sungjong’s actions seem to hold more affection.
The door to the bedroom bursts open as Sungjong comes bouncing in. “Howonnie~” he says happily. “Sunggyu-hyung sends orange juice!”
Howon sits up and smiles. “Thanks,” he says, taking the glass of orange juice and downing half of it in one go. “What’s got you so happy Jongie-ah?” he asks when Sungjong flops down on his bed.
“Sungyeol-hyung got me the lip gloss I’ve been trying to find!” he squeals, shoving the tube in Howon’s face. “Look, doesn’t it make my lips look pretty?” he asks, tugging on Howon’s shirt, moving to sit between the dancer’s legs, his face invading Howon’s personal space and his sweet breath puffing on Howon’s nose.
The dancer swallows nervously, glancing down at the invitingly pink lips and barely resisting the urge to kiss them till their swollen and red. “Um... Yeah,” he stammers out an agreement and Sungjong squeals in delight, leaning back. “You should try some too!” Sungjong says suddenly, smiling mischievously.
“Oh no,” Howon declines, trying to back away. Sungjong smirks and screams a loud battle cry, tackling his hyung on the bed and straddling his friend’s torso with his skinny legs, knees jabbing into Howon’s ribs as he leans over, trying to get the lip gloss on a struggling Howon’s lips.
They’re so pre-occupied with their wrestle match that they don’t hear the door opening and Sungyeol popping his head in. “Hyung, Sungjong, Sunggyu-hyung wants to know if you’re--- OH MY GOD. LEADERGYU! SUNGGYU-HYUNG!” Sungyeol asks, shrieking when he sees the position the maknae and the dancer is in.
“Sungyeol, stop shouting,” Sunggyu scolds.
“NO! HYUNG! HOWON IS CORRUPTING THE MAKNAE!” Sungyeol shrieks, throwing the door open to the members to reveal Sungjong straddling Howon, their faces in a near kiss.
There’s silence and then there’s a thud sound as Sunggyu passes out, Howon hurriedly throwing Sungjong off him to tell them that “You guys got the wrong idea! We weren’t doing anything... Sick!”
Woohyun glares at him from the floor where he’s cradling Infinite’s leader to his chest and huffs out, “Yeah right. Go away Howon,” And drags Sunggyu to his room with Dongwoo’s help. Howon massages his temple, feeling a headache rise behind his eyes. It doesn’t help matters that Sungyeol is still shrieking and flailing wildly, Sungjong is sitting rumpled and deliciously confused on his bed and Myungsoo is smirking that all-knowing smirk of his.
___
“Hyung,” Howon whispers, opening the door to Sunggyu’s bedroom quietly. “Leader-nim,” he whispers again when he gets no response.
“Mmrf...” Sunggyu mutters. “Wha.... Howon? What’re you doing?”
“I need help,” Howon admits, coming into the room and closing the door, flooding the room with darkness again.
“Can it wait?” Sunggyu asks sleepily, yawning widely. Howon feels a little guilty for waking the leader when he catches the sight of the dark smudges that ring Sunggyu’s red eyes. “No,” he says. “Sorry hyung,”
Sunggyu smiles faintly, lifting his blanket and allowing Howon to slip in. “What is it?” he asks without fanfare once Howon is settled.
“It’s Sungjong,” he breathes out. “I think... I think I like him hyung,”
There’s a beat of silence and Howon thinks Sunggyu has gone back to sleep. “Then why are you telling me?” Sunggyu asks eventually. “Tell Sungjong,”
“No, you don’t!” Howon sighs in frustration, tears pooling at his eyes. “I can’t like him hyung! He’s the maknae and my friend. It’s wrong!”
Sunggyu sighs and tugs Howon into an embrace, feeling tears wet his shirt. “Who says it’s wrong? There’s nothing wrong with liking someone Howon-ah,” Sunggyu says quietly, running his fingers through the dancer’s hair. “If someone tells you it’s wrong to love, punch them. We’ve got no time to date. It’s no surprise you’re going to fall for Sungjongie. He is pretty special and wonderful after all,”
“But what if the others look at me differently?” Howon asks fearfully.
“Then I’ll beat them up,” Sunggyu shrugs and Howon laughs tearily at the thought of the loving Sunggyu ever beating up any one of the members no matter how irritating they get. “Okay fine, not me but I’ll send Woohyun. If you really like Sungjong, tell him,”
“And if he doesn’t like me?”
“You really are an idiot Lee Howon,” another voice comes and Howon very nearly knocks his head onto Sunggyu’s chin in shock. “Hi Gyu,” the voice says affectionately and from Sunggyu’s smile, Howon knows it’s Woohyun.
“Sungjong likes you Howon. You really are as dense as Myungsoo says you are,” Woohyun says exasperatedly, turning his attention back to the dancer. “Hyun-ah!” Sunggyu admonishes.
“It’s true!” Woohyun insists. “Tell him tomorrow Howon and get out of my room. I want private time with my Sunggyu okay? Shoo,”
“Woohyun!” Sunggyu says, aghast, hugging Howon. “Howon came to me for help and you’re chasing him away. But Howon-ah, that dumb tree is right. Tell him okay?” Sunggyu smiles down at Howon and in that instance, Howon thinks he sees what Woohyun sees every time the singer looks at the leader. Sunggyu presses a gentle kiss to his brow and releases him.
“Thanks hyung,” Howon says, smiling and feeling a burden lift off his shoulders. “You really are quite beautiful hyung. Goodnight,” He leaves the room to Woohyun’s glare and Sunggyu’s blush, catching Woohyun’s muffled words, “I didn’t like you guys cuddling but Howon is right. You’re beautiful,”
And Howon goes to bed, feeling lighter than he has in days.
___
“Sungjong-ah, I like you,”
Silence, nerve wracking silence and then a sob tears its way out of Sungjong’s throat as bony arms crush him in a hug.
“You’re an idiot! I like you too!” Sungjong cries, sniffling into Howon’s neck. And Howon smiles, he brushes away Sungjong’s tears and he leans in, tasting Sungjong’s smile for the first time.
___
It’s the day after they’ve moved into their new dorms. No one really expected for Infinite to win on M!Countdown but everyone was in tears as they paraded their award on the stage, tears staining their make up. Sungjong had cried the hardest and Howon spent the entire night just holding the maknae close. He knows there are times when Sungjong wonderd if allowing himself to take up such a finite career is worth it and that one award made everything okay again.
Howon hums Be Mine under his breath as he sits behind the balcony window watching it rain, a light shiver wracking his body. Absently, he wonders where his shirt is and he spots Sungjong shuffling out of their new room - it’s a little like the old dorm where hojongyeol are still in the same room - with a blanket wrapped around his lean almost skinny frame. He smiles sleepily when he sees Howon sitting cross-legged before the balcony and shuffles his way over, stepping on the blanket a few times as it slips down, showing off milky shoulders marked with dark bites, a reminder of what happened last night after the partying was done.
Thankfully, they had the room to themselves as Sungyeol had partied a little too hard and crashed in the living room. The lack of a snoring Sungyeol in the living room only meant that someone had dragged him into one of the other rooms to sleep. Howon welcomes his younger lover with a gentle smile and an even gentler kiss to the full lips, Sungjong curled up in the space between Howon’s legs.
“Cuddle time,” Sungjong says sleepily, smiling satedly.
Howon breathes out a laugh as he presses a kiss to Sungjong’s bony shoulder. “You’re thinking too hard Jongie-ah,” he murmurs the words into the skin of the maknae’s shoulder. Sungjong shivers at the sensation as he says quietly, “I miss our old dorm. Even though it was leaky and lacked privacy, we started out there,”
Howon smiles a little then at how his lover and friend hasn’t changed at all from the time they met. The Sungjong he knows from all those days back into their debut was whiny and hated major changes. He’d fuss and throw a tantrum and everyone would coddle him in order to quiet him.
“You haven’t changed at all,” Howon chuckles.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sungjong huffs, pouting slightly.
“It means you’re still the Lee Sungjong I met all those months ago in the dance room shaking his hips to Abracadabra,”
Sungjong smiles and perks up when he notices some writing on the balcony’s glass door. The words aren’t clear and is runny no thanks to the rain but his smile says that he can read it just as well. “What’s this Howonnie? Coming out here so early in the morning just to write ‘i love you’ on our balcony door?” he teases.
Howon flushes a little and makes a non-committal sound. Sungjong sighs, tilting his head back to rest it against Howon’s sturdy shoulder. “Sometimes I wonder if we’ve changed,” he says seriously.
“We won’t change Sungjong-ah,” Howon reassures him, stroking his lover’s bony wrist. “Our relationship did but we’re still the same Howon and Sungjong. You’re still going to demand for attention when you feel sad or cuddle time when you’re in need for someone to show you they care. You’d still throw a tantrum if we tease you and you’re still going to be the same bubbly Sungjong that bounces from room to room singing girl group songs at the top of your lungs. You’re still Lee Sungjong no matter where we go so don’t worry,”
Sungjong smiles after that, lazily pressing his lips to the column of Howon’s throat as they watch the sun rise together in silence.
“Hyung, do you think we’ll last?” he ventures solemnly. And Howon knows he isn’t just talking about Infinite but them as well. He turns Sungjong’s head to look the younger in the eye as he replies with sincerity, “Of course Jongie-ah. We are Infinite after all,”
And they smile. As the sun’s morning glow washes over them, the new dorm comes to life, yawns, complaints and laughter permeating the still air and it’s another day as Lee Sungjong, Lee Howon and Infinite.