ISS 2011: FOR 27139_M
To: 27139_m
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: just ordinary couple
Pairing/Focus: myungsoo/sungyeol
Rating: r/nc-17
Word count: 3000
Summary: they have their ups and downs but in the end they're just an ordinary couple
myungsoo isn't a type to fall in love too easily. he doesn't fall for boys either. or at least boys like him.
because obnoxiously loud, with a playful grin plastered to his face 24/7, lee sungyeol isn't exactly what, or who, myungsoo would find attractive, yet he still manages to step his way into myungsoo's heart. how? myungsoo doesn't know. what he knows though, is that sungyeol's stare is all kinds of mesmerizing so when myungsoo asks him out for a date he can't quite break the eye contact, and he's pretty sure sungyeol thinks myungsoo is a creep.
he doesn't expect a surprised glare. moreover, he doesn't expect a simple 'okay' with a '8D' expression either, and as he links his arms with myungsoo's, he skips away dragging myungsoo with him.
they go to a café where sungyeol insists that myungsoo should drink coffee with him (and myungsoo hates coffee but he drinks it anyway). they go around the campus after (and people give them questioning, rather shocked looks because, well, it's myungsoo and sungyeol together), and then, much to myungsoo's disappointment, it's time to say goodbye.
they stand quietly for a while before sungyeol pulls him for an awkward hug, gives him an awkward smile, but promises to call him tomorrow. he walks backwards for a moment, waving myungsoo goodbyes, and then he turns around and disappears from myungsoo's sight.
at the end of the day, myungsoo thinks he's a bit in love and he asks himself why but doesn't get an answer.
***
sungyeol really does call the next day and myungsoo is surprised. he is surprised because sungyeol, with his lame jokes and bubbly personality, seems like a scatty, bit absent-minded person, person that forgets people's birthdays but always makes it up to them, or person who laughs whether it's appropriate or not.
in reality, he doesn't. as they hang out more, myungsoo learns that sungyeol is actually quite bright and clever but for some unknown to myungsoo reason, he tends to put up this child-like act that surely misleads people (myungsoo included).
i could say that i find it entertaining that's what he tends to say, every time myungsoo asks him about it, and myungsoo doesn't question him any further because everyone has a right to their own little secret, right?
***
it starts off slowly.
first they hold hands. when no one is looking, their hands shyly travel and join and match perfectly, as if they were made for each other. when it first happens, myungsoo flinches a little (making sungyeol snort quietly) because he doesn't expect it. he fixes his gaze on their entwined hands for a while and then shots sungyeol a look, look that he takes with slightly amused expression on his face.
later come hugs, hugs that are getting longer and tighter with each day, and sungyeol in particular seems to enjoy them, to the point where he's just too clingy and myungsoo has to shove him away playfully because he can't breathe, and sungyeol just giggles to himself.
with little kisses here and there, their friends realise what's on, and they can only roll their eyes now and then because sungyeol and myungsoo have their own world, their bubble where no one else is allowed, and they just don't notice.
one day, somehow, they're at the front door of myungsoo's apartment, sungyeol's body pressed against his, faces centimetres apart, and sungyeol's fingers wander, dance over myungsoo's skin, leaving traces of intense heat that myungsoo is sure will linger on him for a while.
myungsoo once again is hypnotised by sungyeol's eyes (they're my charming point! they're like deer's eyes! that's what sungyeol says when they first go out and myungsoo kind of wants to agree) so he stares. so does sungyeol and they stay like that for what feels like ages, and none of them dares to move. myungsoo knows something is about to happen so he waits while his heart is racing.
minutes after minutes and myungsoo can't really take the tension anymore so he leans in and places his lips on sungyeol's. he wants to pull away immediately though, because what if he's going too fast, maybe he's not ready yet, but at the same time he wants to leave them there forever because it feels so good, so right, so perfect, and then he realises that he can't pull away. he can't pull away because sungyeol's hands are on his shoulders. he can't pull away because sungyeol keeps pressing their lips together and he slowly takes the control, and myungsoo lets him because it's easier that way. it's easier to let sungyeol dominate him, to let him deepen the kiss and to let him break away.
they're both slightly panting when a little of a distance forms in between them and none of them dares to break the somehow comfortable silence. as they keep staring at each other, myungsoo's hand instinctively goes up to caress sungyeol's chubby cheek and the older answers the gesture with a smile.
'does that mean we're going out?'
'i guess...'
'well, i hope we are because i don't want my conscience to eat me alive when i'm done with kissing you again' says sungyeol and without any warning he, this time, is the one to close the gap between them.
***
he wakes up so suddenly that the first thing that comes to his mind is what the fuck just happened.
he notices that he's hard, so he closes his eyes, trying to remember what his dream was about. he vaguely remembers that it was him and sungyeol, him and sungyeol on some random bed in some random room. he thinks more and more and he recalls sungyeol's hands pinning him down. he recalls sungyeol's lips licking their way down to myungsoo's trousers, sungyeol's hands then fiddling with the zipper and then finally his head working up and down as myungsoo moans and writhes in pleasure.
he drags himself to the bathroom (to finish himself off with images of his dream still in his head) and later he realises that he wants more. and the fact that his brain keeps bringing back that dream, and the fact that he catches himself wondering how it would feel like - being pressed into the mattress, being kissed senselessly, feeling sungyeol all over him - only makes him more desperate. desperate to the point that the next time sungyeol visits, myungsoo pins him to the wall, kissing him carelessly, hoping that he would get the clue.
myungsoo knows sungyeol isn't stupid so he's more than happy when he catches up and starts kissing back. before long he pushes at him and myungsoo can now feel his back hitting the wall behind him, can feel sungyeol's sensual touches on his face, and when he thought the feeling couldn't get more out-of-this-world, sungyeol's mouth then moves down to his neck, nipping, sucking, leaving marks all over it.
his face is flushed, cheeks burning red, hands shakily wandering in sungyeol's hair. his body trembles from excitement, anticipation, and he can't help but to moan in annoyance when sungyeol's warmness suddenly disappears. he looks down to see sungyeol hurriedly unbuttoning his shirt and for a split of a second myungsoo isn't sure whether he wants this or not. in a flash his hands are on sungyeol's, making them stop moving, and sungyeol gives him a look. a questioning look.
'sorry. are you alright with this?'
'uh, yeah. i just had this moment of mine. carry on'
'you sure?'
'want me to repeat myself?'
from that point on, everything goes smoothly.
sungyeol yanks their shirts off them. myungsoo pushes at him and sends them to his bed. they roll around, fighting for the power, the control but in the end, it's sungyeol who wins the battle. it's sungyeol who pins myungsoo down to the mattress, sungyeol who makes him hard just with his lenient, mildly aggressive kisses.
myungsoo finds himself captivated, enchanted by the way sungyeol's lips move against his own. it doesn't quite feel like the other times they kissed nor it feels unfamiliar or foreign. he wonders if it's the way he bites and sucks on his bottom lip, or maybe the taste of coffee that he can savour and intoxicate himself with after sungyeol's mouth leaves and moves to his neck again. it doesn't however, stay there for long, and soon enough myungsoo can feel sungyeol moving lower and lower, only stopping when he reaches the hem of his trousers.
myungsoo looks down on him, watches him undo his trousers and slowly pull them down, and he wishes for sungyeol to hurry the fuck up because the want, the desire, the need that's been growing inside him for days has now reached the point where he doesn't want anything but this.
as if on command, sungyeol looks up, and being the tease myungsoo never knew he was, he stops and smirks as he catches the desperation in myungsoo's eyes.
myungsoo only manages to throw some curses at him.
***
in the end, he fucks him slowly, tenderly, as if scared to hurt him, and myungsoo loves it, he really does, but his body wants more. he rises his head up so their lips meet and he whispers quietly against them.
faster
sungyeol is hesitant at first but myungsoo insists so he obeys and picks up the speed. when he's about to come, myungsoo reaches up to wrap his arms around sungyeol's neck, moaning his name into his ear, and that sends sungyeol to the edge. he soon is coming, myungsoo following right after, and they're both panting heavily as they fall on the bed again, too exhausted to say anything.
***
6 months into their relationship, myungsoo moves in to sungyeol's apartment.
his usually messy wardrobe gets filled with tens, if not hundreds, of neatly folded plaid shirts. his beanies make some space for different-coloured fedora hats. his laptop now shares its usual desk area with number of myungsoo's cameras.
as myungsoo finds out later, sungyeol enjoys being photographed a little bit too much, making ridiculous faces and poses causing myungsoo to facepalm in embarrassment but nevertheless, blindingly white walls of his apartment are now full of pictures, be it them two together or just sungyeol being his usual self, and myungsoo can't help but to smile every time he looks at it.
with more of myungsoo's belongings occupying different spots of sungyeol's place, the 'oh, i just sleep there, really' slowly becomes 'oh, this is where we live'. the bitter scent of sungyeol's freshly made americano mixed with sweet aroma of myungsoo's perfume would always fill their apartment in the mornings, making them both finally feel at home, and believe it or not, this is what myungsoo wants the most in his life.
now, myungsoo is in love, and this time he doesn't asks why. being able to wake up to sungyeol's tender kisses, to laugh at his clumsiness, to have him in his life is a good enough reason.
but.
now, this is all gone.
it gets replaced with broken heart, flock of shouts and cries, wound that will leave a scar, a flaw, that will always remind him of what happened.
was it worth it, sungyeol? he hopes it was.
he watches how the vase shatters to pieces (just like his heart), and he doesn't care that he misses sungyeol's head by just an inch. he slams the door shut (just before sungyeol's face) as he leaves what used to be their place, and walks and walks and walks because he just wants to escape.
he watches how the rain starts pouring down (doesn't realise that he's crying too), and the wall of water - mixed with tears that are about to spill - blurs out his vision, images of sungyeol kissing some random girl, however, still vivid and clear in his head.
when sungyeol catches up with him, he doesn't bother stopping.
'i'm sorry'
'i don't care'
'please, just listen to me'
'why should i?
'because i love you'
myungsoo stops at the words and spins around to face him.
'oh, do you?'
sungyeol stops too because he doesn't like the expression on myungsoo's face. he doesn't like it because it now speaks of hatred and hurt, and sungyeol feels guiltier than ever.
'come on, do you?'
'i do'
'then why?'
sungyeol doesn't reply.
they stand in the rain for what feels like hours, both of them soaking wet, and afraid of getting ill, sungyeol dares to walk up to myungsoo and tug at his shirt lightly.
'let's go home'
'no' says myungsoo and yanks his arm away. he turns around again and walks off, and this time sungyeol doesn't chase after him because he knows he's wasting his time.
when he wakes up the next morning, there is no the ever-present bitter-sweet scent filling their room. there is no myungsoo sleeping beside him. there is no what they used to call home.
***
myungsoo disappears for a week.
the day after he leaves, sungyeol gets a call from sungjong.
he reassures him that myungsoo is fine, although a bit ill from the day before, it shouldn't take long for him to be back to normal (on the outside, that is). sungyeol is thankful.
'why did you do it to him?' sungjong then asks, disappointment in his voice more than apparent, and sungyeol isn't surprised. neither at the question or the bitterness.
'i... i don't know. it just... happened' he replies as honestly as he can but he knows that this isn't enough for myungsoo to come back. he wouldn't come back.
sungjong sighs on the other side, 'you do realise that he won't forgive you easily, right?'
'i know' says sungyeol and it's now his turn to sigh.
that night he dreams of their first date (i don't trust people easily. i guess it's because i'm just afraid of getting hurt by them) and those sleepless nights they spent together after myungsoo has moved in (i tend to hold grudges for long time so i don't forgive people easily either).
***
when myungsoo comes back to get his stuff, sungyeol doesn't stop him.
'i might come back tomorrow to get the rest but i'll probably ask sungjong-'
'are you breaking up with me?' asks sungyeol, and because myungsoo neither looks at him or replies, he takes it as a yes.
'no'
he blinks a couple of times, confusion written all over his face, because he thinks he might have misheard him, 'huh?'
'i said no'
'but why?' he definitely is confused, it says on his face, and he doesn't think anymore because it's not what he expected.
'because i love you' and then myungsoo leaves, just like that.
***
sungyeol sees him around the campus but doesn't dare to approach him.
it's been a month already, a month full of guilt and uselessness. a month where his life is back to what it used to be before myungsoo and him happened. every night he would fall asleep staring pointlessly at the pictures on his walls, smelling the fading scent of myungsoo on his bedsheets, missing him more than ever.
he feels like he's living in a film, only that everything is real, the suffering, the pain. as cliché as it sounds, he doesn't want to live this life anymore but unlike with films, he can't just stop it, simply turn it off because that's not how life works. and it's not like he doesn't deserve this because he does and he is the only one to blame.
after myungsoo's last visit a month ago, he never speaks to him again, not until he stumbles upon him on the way to his apartment, and their faces drop because none of them foresee it. myungsoo is quick to turn around and start walking but this time sungyeol isn't letting him go because he might not get another chance.
'myungsoo, stop'
he doesn't want to talk.
'i know i've done wrong, okay? there hasn't been a day i haven't regretted this or wished that you would finally talk to me'
do i look like i care?
'why don't you give me a second chance? or maybe break up with me, so we both can move on and forget 'us' ever existed?'
he doesn't reply but doesn't stop either
'okay myungsoo, stop, i'm serious'
forget it
'myungsoo, STOP'
and there is something about the way he says it that makes myungsoo stop. and then he looks up and there is a car passing by, only inches away, and just like in the movies, there's his life flashing in front of his eyes. stills of his days spent with sungyeol mix with scenes of his childhood and teenage days when he wished for someone special, someone who'd love him the way he is, no matter what. and now there is sungyeol - a person who is all of that - running up to him, pulling him off the road, embracing him in a hug that he reckons will last forever, and he can feel his heart racing, his tears soaking his shirt and he is speechless.
'sungyeol... i...'
'just... just be quiet' he says in between sobs and sniffs.
and they stand there and people give them looks but they know nothing therefore they don't matter.
'let's go home' says myungsoo, tugging at sungyeol's shirt, and so they do.
***
he's laying flat on his mattress as sungyeol's working his way down. he gets this weird sense of déjà vu so he looks down to tell him to hurry up, and as if on command, sungyeol looks up, and smirks at his obvious desperation.
'hurry up' he says because it's getting ridiculous.
'no' says sungyeol in a low, teasing voice as he shoots myungsoo a triumphant look.
myungsoo just groans in annoyance.
(now that he thinks about it, that face, that look, that voice should be banned because it really isn't good for myungsoo's well-being.)
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: just ordinary couple
Pairing/Focus: myungsoo/sungyeol
Rating: r/nc-17
Word count: 3000
Summary: they have their ups and downs but in the end they're just an ordinary couple
myungsoo isn't a type to fall in love too easily. he doesn't fall for boys either. or at least boys like him.
because obnoxiously loud, with a playful grin plastered to his face 24/7, lee sungyeol isn't exactly what, or who, myungsoo would find attractive, yet he still manages to step his way into myungsoo's heart. how? myungsoo doesn't know. what he knows though, is that sungyeol's stare is all kinds of mesmerizing so when myungsoo asks him out for a date he can't quite break the eye contact, and he's pretty sure sungyeol thinks myungsoo is a creep.
he doesn't expect a surprised glare. moreover, he doesn't expect a simple 'okay' with a '8D' expression either, and as he links his arms with myungsoo's, he skips away dragging myungsoo with him.
they go to a café where sungyeol insists that myungsoo should drink coffee with him (and myungsoo hates coffee but he drinks it anyway). they go around the campus after (and people give them questioning, rather shocked looks because, well, it's myungsoo and sungyeol together), and then, much to myungsoo's disappointment, it's time to say goodbye.
they stand quietly for a while before sungyeol pulls him for an awkward hug, gives him an awkward smile, but promises to call him tomorrow. he walks backwards for a moment, waving myungsoo goodbyes, and then he turns around and disappears from myungsoo's sight.
at the end of the day, myungsoo thinks he's a bit in love and he asks himself why but doesn't get an answer.
***
sungyeol really does call the next day and myungsoo is surprised. he is surprised because sungyeol, with his lame jokes and bubbly personality, seems like a scatty, bit absent-minded person, person that forgets people's birthdays but always makes it up to them, or person who laughs whether it's appropriate or not.
in reality, he doesn't. as they hang out more, myungsoo learns that sungyeol is actually quite bright and clever but for some unknown to myungsoo reason, he tends to put up this child-like act that surely misleads people (myungsoo included).
i could say that i find it entertaining that's what he tends to say, every time myungsoo asks him about it, and myungsoo doesn't question him any further because everyone has a right to their own little secret, right?
***
it starts off slowly.
first they hold hands. when no one is looking, their hands shyly travel and join and match perfectly, as if they were made for each other. when it first happens, myungsoo flinches a little (making sungyeol snort quietly) because he doesn't expect it. he fixes his gaze on their entwined hands for a while and then shots sungyeol a look, look that he takes with slightly amused expression on his face.
later come hugs, hugs that are getting longer and tighter with each day, and sungyeol in particular seems to enjoy them, to the point where he's just too clingy and myungsoo has to shove him away playfully because he can't breathe, and sungyeol just giggles to himself.
with little kisses here and there, their friends realise what's on, and they can only roll their eyes now and then because sungyeol and myungsoo have their own world, their bubble where no one else is allowed, and they just don't notice.
one day, somehow, they're at the front door of myungsoo's apartment, sungyeol's body pressed against his, faces centimetres apart, and sungyeol's fingers wander, dance over myungsoo's skin, leaving traces of intense heat that myungsoo is sure will linger on him for a while.
myungsoo once again is hypnotised by sungyeol's eyes (they're my charming point! they're like deer's eyes! that's what sungyeol says when they first go out and myungsoo kind of wants to agree) so he stares. so does sungyeol and they stay like that for what feels like ages, and none of them dares to move. myungsoo knows something is about to happen so he waits while his heart is racing.
minutes after minutes and myungsoo can't really take the tension anymore so he leans in and places his lips on sungyeol's. he wants to pull away immediately though, because what if he's going too fast, maybe he's not ready yet, but at the same time he wants to leave them there forever because it feels so good, so right, so perfect, and then he realises that he can't pull away. he can't pull away because sungyeol's hands are on his shoulders. he can't pull away because sungyeol keeps pressing their lips together and he slowly takes the control, and myungsoo lets him because it's easier that way. it's easier to let sungyeol dominate him, to let him deepen the kiss and to let him break away.
they're both slightly panting when a little of a distance forms in between them and none of them dares to break the somehow comfortable silence. as they keep staring at each other, myungsoo's hand instinctively goes up to caress sungyeol's chubby cheek and the older answers the gesture with a smile.
'does that mean we're going out?'
'i guess...'
'well, i hope we are because i don't want my conscience to eat me alive when i'm done with kissing you again' says sungyeol and without any warning he, this time, is the one to close the gap between them.
***
he wakes up so suddenly that the first thing that comes to his mind is what the fuck just happened.
he notices that he's hard, so he closes his eyes, trying to remember what his dream was about. he vaguely remembers that it was him and sungyeol, him and sungyeol on some random bed in some random room. he thinks more and more and he recalls sungyeol's hands pinning him down. he recalls sungyeol's lips licking their way down to myungsoo's trousers, sungyeol's hands then fiddling with the zipper and then finally his head working up and down as myungsoo moans and writhes in pleasure.
he drags himself to the bathroom (to finish himself off with images of his dream still in his head) and later he realises that he wants more. and the fact that his brain keeps bringing back that dream, and the fact that he catches himself wondering how it would feel like - being pressed into the mattress, being kissed senselessly, feeling sungyeol all over him - only makes him more desperate. desperate to the point that the next time sungyeol visits, myungsoo pins him to the wall, kissing him carelessly, hoping that he would get the clue.
myungsoo knows sungyeol isn't stupid so he's more than happy when he catches up and starts kissing back. before long he pushes at him and myungsoo can now feel his back hitting the wall behind him, can feel sungyeol's sensual touches on his face, and when he thought the feeling couldn't get more out-of-this-world, sungyeol's mouth then moves down to his neck, nipping, sucking, leaving marks all over it.
his face is flushed, cheeks burning red, hands shakily wandering in sungyeol's hair. his body trembles from excitement, anticipation, and he can't help but to moan in annoyance when sungyeol's warmness suddenly disappears. he looks down to see sungyeol hurriedly unbuttoning his shirt and for a split of a second myungsoo isn't sure whether he wants this or not. in a flash his hands are on sungyeol's, making them stop moving, and sungyeol gives him a look. a questioning look.
'sorry. are you alright with this?'
'uh, yeah. i just had this moment of mine. carry on'
'you sure?'
'want me to repeat myself?'
from that point on, everything goes smoothly.
sungyeol yanks their shirts off them. myungsoo pushes at him and sends them to his bed. they roll around, fighting for the power, the control but in the end, it's sungyeol who wins the battle. it's sungyeol who pins myungsoo down to the mattress, sungyeol who makes him hard just with his lenient, mildly aggressive kisses.
myungsoo finds himself captivated, enchanted by the way sungyeol's lips move against his own. it doesn't quite feel like the other times they kissed nor it feels unfamiliar or foreign. he wonders if it's the way he bites and sucks on his bottom lip, or maybe the taste of coffee that he can savour and intoxicate himself with after sungyeol's mouth leaves and moves to his neck again. it doesn't however, stay there for long, and soon enough myungsoo can feel sungyeol moving lower and lower, only stopping when he reaches the hem of his trousers.
myungsoo looks down on him, watches him undo his trousers and slowly pull them down, and he wishes for sungyeol to hurry the fuck up because the want, the desire, the need that's been growing inside him for days has now reached the point where he doesn't want anything but this.
as if on command, sungyeol looks up, and being the tease myungsoo never knew he was, he stops and smirks as he catches the desperation in myungsoo's eyes.
myungsoo only manages to throw some curses at him.
***
in the end, he fucks him slowly, tenderly, as if scared to hurt him, and myungsoo loves it, he really does, but his body wants more. he rises his head up so their lips meet and he whispers quietly against them.
faster
sungyeol is hesitant at first but myungsoo insists so he obeys and picks up the speed. when he's about to come, myungsoo reaches up to wrap his arms around sungyeol's neck, moaning his name into his ear, and that sends sungyeol to the edge. he soon is coming, myungsoo following right after, and they're both panting heavily as they fall on the bed again, too exhausted to say anything.
***
6 months into their relationship, myungsoo moves in to sungyeol's apartment.
his usually messy wardrobe gets filled with tens, if not hundreds, of neatly folded plaid shirts. his beanies make some space for different-coloured fedora hats. his laptop now shares its usual desk area with number of myungsoo's cameras.
as myungsoo finds out later, sungyeol enjoys being photographed a little bit too much, making ridiculous faces and poses causing myungsoo to facepalm in embarrassment but nevertheless, blindingly white walls of his apartment are now full of pictures, be it them two together or just sungyeol being his usual self, and myungsoo can't help but to smile every time he looks at it.
with more of myungsoo's belongings occupying different spots of sungyeol's place, the 'oh, i just sleep there, really' slowly becomes 'oh, this is where we live'. the bitter scent of sungyeol's freshly made americano mixed with sweet aroma of myungsoo's perfume would always fill their apartment in the mornings, making them both finally feel at home, and believe it or not, this is what myungsoo wants the most in his life.
now, myungsoo is in love, and this time he doesn't asks why. being able to wake up to sungyeol's tender kisses, to laugh at his clumsiness, to have him in his life is a good enough reason.
but.
now, this is all gone.
it gets replaced with broken heart, flock of shouts and cries, wound that will leave a scar, a flaw, that will always remind him of what happened.
was it worth it, sungyeol? he hopes it was.
he watches how the vase shatters to pieces (just like his heart), and he doesn't care that he misses sungyeol's head by just an inch. he slams the door shut (just before sungyeol's face) as he leaves what used to be their place, and walks and walks and walks because he just wants to escape.
he watches how the rain starts pouring down (doesn't realise that he's crying too), and the wall of water - mixed with tears that are about to spill - blurs out his vision, images of sungyeol kissing some random girl, however, still vivid and clear in his head.
when sungyeol catches up with him, he doesn't bother stopping.
'i'm sorry'
'i don't care'
'please, just listen to me'
'why should i?
'because i love you'
myungsoo stops at the words and spins around to face him.
'oh, do you?'
sungyeol stops too because he doesn't like the expression on myungsoo's face. he doesn't like it because it now speaks of hatred and hurt, and sungyeol feels guiltier than ever.
'come on, do you?'
'i do'
'then why?'
sungyeol doesn't reply.
they stand in the rain for what feels like hours, both of them soaking wet, and afraid of getting ill, sungyeol dares to walk up to myungsoo and tug at his shirt lightly.
'let's go home'
'no' says myungsoo and yanks his arm away. he turns around again and walks off, and this time sungyeol doesn't chase after him because he knows he's wasting his time.
when he wakes up the next morning, there is no the ever-present bitter-sweet scent filling their room. there is no myungsoo sleeping beside him. there is no what they used to call home.
***
myungsoo disappears for a week.
the day after he leaves, sungyeol gets a call from sungjong.
he reassures him that myungsoo is fine, although a bit ill from the day before, it shouldn't take long for him to be back to normal (on the outside, that is). sungyeol is thankful.
'why did you do it to him?' sungjong then asks, disappointment in his voice more than apparent, and sungyeol isn't surprised. neither at the question or the bitterness.
'i... i don't know. it just... happened' he replies as honestly as he can but he knows that this isn't enough for myungsoo to come back. he wouldn't come back.
sungjong sighs on the other side, 'you do realise that he won't forgive you easily, right?'
'i know' says sungyeol and it's now his turn to sigh.
that night he dreams of their first date (i don't trust people easily. i guess it's because i'm just afraid of getting hurt by them) and those sleepless nights they spent together after myungsoo has moved in (i tend to hold grudges for long time so i don't forgive people easily either).
***
when myungsoo comes back to get his stuff, sungyeol doesn't stop him.
'i might come back tomorrow to get the rest but i'll probably ask sungjong-'
'are you breaking up with me?' asks sungyeol, and because myungsoo neither looks at him or replies, he takes it as a yes.
'no'
he blinks a couple of times, confusion written all over his face, because he thinks he might have misheard him, 'huh?'
'i said no'
'but why?' he definitely is confused, it says on his face, and he doesn't think anymore because it's not what he expected.
'because i love you' and then myungsoo leaves, just like that.
***
sungyeol sees him around the campus but doesn't dare to approach him.
it's been a month already, a month full of guilt and uselessness. a month where his life is back to what it used to be before myungsoo and him happened. every night he would fall asleep staring pointlessly at the pictures on his walls, smelling the fading scent of myungsoo on his bedsheets, missing him more than ever.
he feels like he's living in a film, only that everything is real, the suffering, the pain. as cliché as it sounds, he doesn't want to live this life anymore but unlike with films, he can't just stop it, simply turn it off because that's not how life works. and it's not like he doesn't deserve this because he does and he is the only one to blame.
after myungsoo's last visit a month ago, he never speaks to him again, not until he stumbles upon him on the way to his apartment, and their faces drop because none of them foresee it. myungsoo is quick to turn around and start walking but this time sungyeol isn't letting him go because he might not get another chance.
'myungsoo, stop'
he doesn't want to talk.
'i know i've done wrong, okay? there hasn't been a day i haven't regretted this or wished that you would finally talk to me'
do i look like i care?
'why don't you give me a second chance? or maybe break up with me, so we both can move on and forget 'us' ever existed?'
he doesn't reply but doesn't stop either
'okay myungsoo, stop, i'm serious'
forget it
'myungsoo, STOP'
and there is something about the way he says it that makes myungsoo stop. and then he looks up and there is a car passing by, only inches away, and just like in the movies, there's his life flashing in front of his eyes. stills of his days spent with sungyeol mix with scenes of his childhood and teenage days when he wished for someone special, someone who'd love him the way he is, no matter what. and now there is sungyeol - a person who is all of that - running up to him, pulling him off the road, embracing him in a hug that he reckons will last forever, and he can feel his heart racing, his tears soaking his shirt and he is speechless.
'sungyeol... i...'
'just... just be quiet' he says in between sobs and sniffs.
and they stand there and people give them looks but they know nothing therefore they don't matter.
'let's go home' says myungsoo, tugging at sungyeol's shirt, and so they do.
***
he's laying flat on his mattress as sungyeol's working his way down. he gets this weird sense of déjà vu so he looks down to tell him to hurry up, and as if on command, sungyeol looks up, and smirks at his obvious desperation.
'hurry up' he says because it's getting ridiculous.
'no' says sungyeol in a low, teasing voice as he shoots myungsoo a triumphant look.
myungsoo just groans in annoyance.
(now that he thinks about it, that face, that look, that voice should be banned because it really isn't good for myungsoo's well-being.)