Incomplete drabble, need help! x_x

[infinitx]

This is an incredibly short drabble, a tribute to Sakura and the people she encountered in her life and how they helped her to develop into the character she transformed into timeskip. Each sentence is supposed to present/imply a certain number of characters that have helped her to realize her flaws and want to change them. (I'm having a difficult

Comments

[lover_youshould]

I would suggest getting rid of the formatting because yes, it puts emphasis on the words, but it puts so much emphasis that it distracts from the flow.

To me the end doesn't work because the main idea of the drabble, which is that all of these people have influenced Sakura, isn't reflected in the last few words: for him. The main section and that last part have two totally different focuses. If you want to talk about how all these different people have influenced her but he has done the most for her, I would suggest expanding past 100 words. It's just too small of a word limit to fully explore such a big idea, especially if you're going to use so many words describing what everyone else has taught her.

I think it would make an interesting theme for a set of 100 drabbles. You could maybe have a drabble for each person who's influenced her, or each lesson she's been taught? Something like that. You might also want to consider 1sentence, which is a little different, but I think the 50-sentence structure would complement your concept here

[infinitx]

Thanks for the advice. A lot of the things you mentioned make a lot of sense. And I really like your idea, though I don't think I'll be able to keep up with it.

Thanks a lot for taking the time to critique.
♥
(even if my reply was a little late. ;-; sorry.)