I can't remember how I got here. Maybe I can.

I have two wonderful decent guys pulling at my heart, and they are tearing me apart. I can't deal with the stress of this, I think it actually might destroy me.

At some moment I'll be back in control, but right now I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing.

I am so fucking lonely!!!

I hate this. I hate not being able to ask for what I want. I hate that I can't get what I need from anyone.

Sigh

When do I know if I've done the right thing?

When do I get to stop hurting?

WHAT AM I DOING?

Why do we put ourselves through the silly things that we do?

Will it all be worth it in the end?

I'll never be worth fighting for.

What am I even doing? I'm making a mess out of everything. I'm so lost right now.

What the hell am I even worth?

I need something, and I don't think anyone actually can give me what I need.

Do I really love anyone?

My life is a race to how quickly I can destroy all aspects of it. All relationships, all everything.

What's wrong with me?

I wish I didn't feel so... average.

You ever want to point out to people that they are three years too late? GRRRR~!!!

Or did I suddenly become perfect in three years!