lists.

[emoshunal]

Has anyone, other than myself, ever made a list of exactly what you want/expect in a partner/relationship? I Figured I may not be the only one, considering, it sounds like a very idealist thing to do

Comments

[passionrlsusall]

I'm picky about any potential guys, and I've made a list too. I feel like I'm too idealistic to ever find someone and let them in. It really bothers me because I really want to be close with someone.

[sabournine]

This is an interesting post. My first instinct was to say, bah, you can't define a person by a list. But then I thought about it and realized, we all have lists. Maybe the list has stuff like "has never murdered" or "is the gender that I prefer," but everyone has a list .) You mentioned some of the things on yours in an earlier comment, and I think I'd agree that those are important things in a relationship. But I also think that some things can change. For instance, if it bothers you that someone bugs you about being messy, that could be something that could be worked on in a relationship, i.e. just because it's in his nature to do so, doesn't mean he can't learn to change and you should rule him out.

I didn't know what I was looking for until I met my boyfriend. Only until I started dating him did I realize just what my list was. Until then, I mostly figured that if I was interested in someone and the circumstances felt right, that would be my indicator of whether to pursue it or not.

[katexas]

I think holding people up to excruciatingly high standards is a very stereotypical INFP thing to do (I certainly do it).

Also, I think I'm swearing off dating TJs... My last relationship ended largely because we were ultimately conflicting personality types and had trouble communicating (and I kept feeling highly criticized and also like everything was my fault, both of which are typical INFP qualities).

[ichi_ki]

haha This is a long time ago, but I'll comment anyway just because it's so true (and someone else might come and read later). I was talking to a few people about this and everyone seems to think I have such high standards. So I tried listened to theirs and it's definitely much much shorter e.g. loves me and supports me ...

I agree that we all have something we rather want or not want, but INFPs just set higher standards than others.

Actually, you'll later learn to cross out things on the list if you thinks he's Mr.Right for you and you don't care anymore :)

[sanjukta_95]

Its completely sane. :)
All my middle school I had a similar thing in my mind which prevented me from being really impressed. But its okay to have such priorities because things slowly get better.
I think you should look into the differences and similarities from good websites and judge. Answer honestly to yourself what ever it is, you'll be happy at the end(it was helpful for me).