The Thirteen Rules of Dealing with Kim Heechul by Han Geng
Title: The Thirteen Rules of Dealing with Kim Heechul by Han Geng
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: HanChul
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff, Humor, One-Shot
Warnings: Sexual references
Disclaimer: I don’t own Super Junior, I just amuse myself with them in my head
Summary: HanGeng writes the rules and then sometimes breaks them
Rule Number One:
Kim Heechul is always right. When there is a disagreement, don’t bother, because Heechul is right and trying to convince Heechul that he is wrong will only end up in disaster and several lonely nights with your own hand.
Rule Number Two:
Never show weakness. No matter how much it hurts, or how sick you are, or how tired…never let it show. You’re the strong one, despite the outer appearance to the contrary.
Rule Number Three:
Beijing fried rice contains no calories. Actually it does, but all the calories it does have will go directly to your body and not Heechul’s, even though he is eating it and you are only cooking it.
Rule Number Four:
Heebum and Bangshin will never ever get along with RongRong. Trying will only end up in disaster, several cuts and scrapes and a traumatized dog. Subset rule: Heebum likes his chin scratched, NOT rubbed. Heechul likes his shoulders rubbed, not scratched. Do not screw this up.
Rule Number Five:
Nod and smile. Even though you are pretty good at Korean now and can understand 99% of what he is saying, there are still times when he’s speaking so fast that you don’t catch it all. Always just nod and smile. Yes, you may end up upside down and naked later that night, but that’s okay, isn’t it?
Rule Number Six:
Compliment his dancing even though it’s really bad but really funny. Laughing will only earn you the same treatment as Rule number one. Instead, teach him to dance better. This is more fun and involves more touching and laughter that is fun, not detrimental to your wellbeing.
Rule Number Seven:
Do not touch, laugh with, or even remotely flirt with anyone else. This applies especially to Choi Siwon, even though it’s usually him that flirts with you. If you make a mistake and unintentionally flirt with someone else, make sure to talk smack about them later that night when Heechul is in earshot. Apologize the next day to the ones you insulted even though they didn’t hear it as it will alleviate your guilt.
Rule Number Eight:
Don’t ever wear the plastic shirt again unless you want to hear more shrieking laughter. Subset rule: Never listen to Henry’s fashion sense. Ask Zhou Mi instead.
Rule Number Nine:
Don’t always let Heechul win. Yes, this contradicts rule number one. But sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself because Heechul isn’t always right. When he’s wrong and it’s important, the fight is worth it. Chances are 50/50 that he will actually be turned on by your newfound backbone.
Rule Number Ten:
Let him see you at your worst. This contradicts rule number two, but he loves you and he can take it. You love him and he’s stronger than he knows.
Rule Number Eleven:
Don’t ever leave him.
Rule Number Twelve:
When you break rule number eleven, break rule number eight too. Maybe the plastic shirt will make it easier for him to forgive you and take you back. If not, resort to kissing him. If that doesn’t work, beg Heebum.
Rule Number Thirteen:
Love him no matter what. This is the easiest rule to follow.
.
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: HanChul
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff, Humor, One-Shot
Warnings: Sexual references
Disclaimer: I don’t own Super Junior, I just amuse myself with them in my head
Summary: HanGeng writes the rules and then sometimes breaks them
Rule Number One:
Kim Heechul is always right. When there is a disagreement, don’t bother, because Heechul is right and trying to convince Heechul that he is wrong will only end up in disaster and several lonely nights with your own hand.
Rule Number Two:
Never show weakness. No matter how much it hurts, or how sick you are, or how tired…never let it show. You’re the strong one, despite the outer appearance to the contrary.
Rule Number Three:
Beijing fried rice contains no calories. Actually it does, but all the calories it does have will go directly to your body and not Heechul’s, even though he is eating it and you are only cooking it.
Rule Number Four:
Heebum and Bangshin will never ever get along with RongRong. Trying will only end up in disaster, several cuts and scrapes and a traumatized dog. Subset rule: Heebum likes his chin scratched, NOT rubbed. Heechul likes his shoulders rubbed, not scratched. Do not screw this up.
Rule Number Five:
Nod and smile. Even though you are pretty good at Korean now and can understand 99% of what he is saying, there are still times when he’s speaking so fast that you don’t catch it all. Always just nod and smile. Yes, you may end up upside down and naked later that night, but that’s okay, isn’t it?
Rule Number Six:
Compliment his dancing even though it’s really bad but really funny. Laughing will only earn you the same treatment as Rule number one. Instead, teach him to dance better. This is more fun and involves more touching and laughter that is fun, not detrimental to your wellbeing.
Rule Number Seven:
Do not touch, laugh with, or even remotely flirt with anyone else. This applies especially to Choi Siwon, even though it’s usually him that flirts with you. If you make a mistake and unintentionally flirt with someone else, make sure to talk smack about them later that night when Heechul is in earshot. Apologize the next day to the ones you insulted even though they didn’t hear it as it will alleviate your guilt.
Rule Number Eight:
Don’t ever wear the plastic shirt again unless you want to hear more shrieking laughter. Subset rule: Never listen to Henry’s fashion sense. Ask Zhou Mi instead.
Rule Number Nine:
Don’t always let Heechul win. Yes, this contradicts rule number one. But sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself because Heechul isn’t always right. When he’s wrong and it’s important, the fight is worth it. Chances are 50/50 that he will actually be turned on by your newfound backbone.
Rule Number Ten:
Let him see you at your worst. This contradicts rule number two, but he loves you and he can take it. You love him and he’s stronger than he knows.
Rule Number Eleven:
Don’t ever leave him.
Rule Number Twelve:
When you break rule number eleven, break rule number eight too. Maybe the plastic shirt will make it easier for him to forgive you and take you back. If not, resort to kissing him. If that doesn’t work, beg Heebum.
Rule Number Thirteen:
Love him no matter what. This is the easiest rule to follow.
.