Strategic Planning - Part 1
Title: Strategic Planning 1/?
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: HanChul (side KangTeuk, KyuMin, Eunhae, YeWook)
Rating: R
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: AU, chaptered, Comedy
Disclaimer: If I owned them, everyone would know it. :D
Summary: Hankyung works for The Man. And The Man is a total pain in the……
Author’s Note: First and foremost, this fic would never have come into being without the fabulous and wonderful convicted_eyes. She inspired it, and then it took off in my head and became this crazy thing! If any of you have seen the movies "Office Space" and "The Proposal" I have been influenced heavily by them and this is a bit of a nod to the comedic genius of these two films. I really hope you all like it!
~~
“Hyung, did you draw that?” Ryeowook peers over Hankyung’s shoulder. He giggles and the sound is like tiny, joyful bells.
“Yeah. What do you think?”
“I think it’s hysterical... and is going to get you fired.” Kyuhyun mutters from over Hankyung’s left shoulder.
“Lighten up, Kyuhyun.” Shindong says, poking him.
“Yeah except if HE sees it, we’re ALL in deep shit.”
“I’d never let you take the blame for something I did, Kyu.” Hankyung says, sounding slightly offended.
Kyuhyun sighs, his eyes glancing towards the big office door at the end of the hallway. “Yeah, I know.” He says quietly.
“What’s going on?” Hyukjae wanders over, his mouth full of half-stale doughnut.
“Hankyung-hyung drew a picture of the Hee-beast. It’s pretty funny.” Donghae says from the other side of the cubicle wall. Hyukjae leans in to get a better look, and immediately starts guffawing, spewing crumbs all over everything.
“Dammit, you got crumbs in my keyboard!” Kyuhyun shouts, and Ryeowook shushes him quickly. But it’s too late as the sound of the office door at the end of the hall opening with a bang reverberates through the room.
“Shit!” Donghae says, and then he disappears once more back into his cubicle, and seconds later the sound of typing fills the air. Shindong and Hyukjae scatter like dried leaves in a storm, and Ryeowook squeaks in terror.
“What the Hell am I paying you idiots for?” Heechul shouts, storming down the hall like an enraged bull. Ryeowook shrinks down onto a chair, narrowly avoiding Heechul’s withering stare. As soon as the boss is out of his line of vision, Ryeowook runs like a terrified animal back to his desk.
Hankyung quickly clicks the red X on the sketch window, but his computer chooses that moment to freeze, and the picture stays on the screen. Hankyung curses under his breath at the stupid machine. Heechul’s eyes are blazing as he gets closer to Hankyung’s desk, and he heaves a sigh, knowing he’s about to get caught.
Why me, God? he thinks morosely.
“Why is it that everyone gathers around your desk like it’s a god-damned watering hole in the African wilderness?” Heechul shouts.
Hankyung knows he has only seconds, and inside his mind he is screaming for his computer monitor to finally unfreeze and accept the command to close the drawing.
“I’m sorry.” He says, mustering all the calm he possesses. This is not the first time that he and Heechul have had this kind of one-sided shouting match. Heechul loves shouting, and Hankyung combats this by staying as calm and collected as possible. It usually only makes Heechul angrier, but eventually he goes away and leaves Hankyung alone. He knows that if Heechul had the authority to fire people, he’d have been out of a job a long time ago. Thank GOD that power only rests with Park Jungsu on the 12th floor.
“I’m sorry, sir.” Hankyung answers quietly. “I was having an issue with my computer and they were just trying to help.” He says, exhaling a breath of relief as the sketch of Heechul with horns and a devil’s tail vanishes from the screen.
“That’s why we have a technical support department.” Heechul snaps. “Next time, call them and don’t ask everyone to give their opinions when they have work to do.”
“Yes sir.” Hankyung says obediently, and he watches Heechul’s face, a sense of amused triumph rolling up his spine when Heechul’s eyes seem to get darker and, if possible, angrier. Except Heechul can’t do anything, because he cannot prove Hankyung was doing anything wrong, and his words are respectful, even if the tone is slightly mocking.
In truth, Heechul fascinates Hankyung. He should be scared of him the same way everyone else is, but oddly, he’s not. In fact, he so enjoys needling his boss that he’s come close to unemployment more times than he can count.
Heechul folds his arms, a look of furious determination coming into his eyes. “So what’s the problem?”
Hankyung frowns for a moment, realizing that he told a little white lie just now. “My computer froze and I couldn’t get the program to load.” He says calmly. He picks up the phone on his desk and looks Heechul in the eye. “I’ll call the IT department right now if you’d like me to, sir. But Kyuhyun was able to fix it.”
Hankyung wonders briefly if Kyuhyun will thank him or groan at being mentioned, but it’s too late now. Heechul glances over at Kyuhyun, who is busy looking productive. He turns around, eyeing every single one of them as if trying to find anyone other than Hankyung to push around, but everyone is following Kyuhyun’s lead, and there’s no one to pick on.
Heechul’s face gets pinched and irritated, and Hankyung smirks to himself, all the while keeping his face angelically innocent.
But Heechul’s face suddenly becomes calm, and his eyes get an evil gleam in them that makes the amusement fade from Hankyung’s mind. The last time that Heechul got that look on his face, they ended up spending 12 hours taking “office supply inventory” until they were dragging themselves home at 4am, delirious and wanting to murder him.
“I think….” Heechul said loudly, and Hankyung knew that everyone in the entire room could hear him. “That now is as good a time as any to have a meeting.” There was a general exhalation of breath, and Hankyung knew everyone was groaning inwardly. “Everyone in the conference room in five minutes!” Heechul yelled, and then he was walking away back to his office.
One by one they stood, some of them glaring at Hankyung like it’s his fault, and others dragging themselves towards the conference room like they are walking to the guillotine.
“Why is it when he has a stick up his ass about something that you just make it worse?” Jongwoon says, sighing at Hankyung.
Hankyung feels bad, but whatever this meeting is about, it will most likely end up screwing him over more than any of them. He shuffles in with the rest of them, and gives Ryeowook a grateful look when the other squeezes his shoulder reassuringly.
They sit around the big, awkward table and wait for Heechul. They wait and wait, and Hankyung knows it’s because Heechul loves to make them all squirm. But he refuses to squirm or be nervous.
Finally Heechul enters the room, holding a stack of papers. He eyes Hankyung with a triumphant smirk, and Hankyung sighs.
“Where is Kibum?” Heechul asks, looking around the room. Most of them shrug, and finally Sungmin answers.
“I think he’s been transferred to another department.” He says meekly. Heechul eyerolls and nods.
“Oh yeah. Forgot.” He says, then clears his throat. “OKAY…big project from the suits on the 12th floor. I need someone to do research and data analysis all weekend. Who volunteers?”
There is a dead silence in the room, and it is so palpable that Hankyung thinks he can hear everyone’s hair growing. Of course, no one volunteers, as every single one of them has already made plans for the weekend, and no one wants to be here. It’s already 4pm on Friday, and they all want to escape as badly as he does.
Hankyung knows it’s coming, knows that Heechul planned it this way….knows that he’s about to get royally screwed out of his weekend at the beach.
Shit. Here it comes.
As if they all realize it at once, the entire room shifts their attention to him…including Heechul.
“Ah, Hankyung. Thanks for volunteering.” Heechul smiles pleasantly, and the ice and venom bubbles under the surface of his words. Hankyung allows himself a heavy sigh, and forces himself not to look at them and see the sympathy in their eyes.
“I didn’t--” he begins, but Heechul cuts him off smoothly.
“Excellent. Everyone else is dismissed.” He waves his hand dramatically, and the stampede to leave before they are also volunteered to help nearly topples over the table and chairs. They are left alone in the room, and Hankyung watches Heechul calmly.
Heechul looks back, and a silent battle of wills begins. Heechul is daring Hankyung to say anything, to refuse to do the project, or to say anything at all. Hankyung waits, knowing that his silence is slowly driving Heechul insane. Something crazy and wild slams through his chest, and he knows that a sick part of him loves this.
Come on…I dare you.
It is a thought they are both sharing, and the irony of it makes Hankyung want to laugh. But he doesn’t. He keeps his poker face and waits.
Finally Heechul exhales and pushes the stack of papers at Hankyung. “See you tomorrow morning at 8am.” He says with a smirk.
Hankyung is caught off guard, his calm, cool, collected façade slipping for a moment in surprise. “You’re going to be here too?”
Heechul glares at him. “Of course I am. The deadline is noon on Monday. You don’t think you can get all this done on your own in 48 hours, do you?”
He stares at him for a moment, and the realization that he will be alone with Heechul in this office for two whole days suddenly makes him feel like he has been sentenced to Hell with the Devil. The little sketch he had made earlier suddenly comes back to haunt him with a vengeance.
Hankyung’s stunned silence makes Heechul huff out a breath. “Don’t look so thrilled at the prospect of spending a couple days alone with me.” He says, and there is an edge of bitterness in his voice that Hankyung has never heard before. He blinks as Heechul turns and stalks back to his office, and the slamming of the door is like the sound of a jail door clanging closed.
.
To be continued!
Part 2
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: HanChul (side KangTeuk, KyuMin, Eunhae, YeWook)
Rating: R
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: AU, chaptered, Comedy
Disclaimer: If I owned them, everyone would know it. :D
Summary: Hankyung works for The Man. And The Man is a total pain in the……
Author’s Note: First and foremost, this fic would never have come into being without the fabulous and wonderful convicted_eyes. She inspired it, and then it took off in my head and became this crazy thing! If any of you have seen the movies "Office Space" and "The Proposal" I have been influenced heavily by them and this is a bit of a nod to the comedic genius of these two films. I really hope you all like it!
~~
“Hyung, did you draw that?” Ryeowook peers over Hankyung’s shoulder. He giggles and the sound is like tiny, joyful bells.
“Yeah. What do you think?”
“I think it’s hysterical... and is going to get you fired.” Kyuhyun mutters from over Hankyung’s left shoulder.
“Lighten up, Kyuhyun.” Shindong says, poking him.
“Yeah except if HE sees it, we’re ALL in deep shit.”
“I’d never let you take the blame for something I did, Kyu.” Hankyung says, sounding slightly offended.
Kyuhyun sighs, his eyes glancing towards the big office door at the end of the hallway. “Yeah, I know.” He says quietly.
“What’s going on?” Hyukjae wanders over, his mouth full of half-stale doughnut.
“Hankyung-hyung drew a picture of the Hee-beast. It’s pretty funny.” Donghae says from the other side of the cubicle wall. Hyukjae leans in to get a better look, and immediately starts guffawing, spewing crumbs all over everything.
“Dammit, you got crumbs in my keyboard!” Kyuhyun shouts, and Ryeowook shushes him quickly. But it’s too late as the sound of the office door at the end of the hall opening with a bang reverberates through the room.
“Shit!” Donghae says, and then he disappears once more back into his cubicle, and seconds later the sound of typing fills the air. Shindong and Hyukjae scatter like dried leaves in a storm, and Ryeowook squeaks in terror.
“What the Hell am I paying you idiots for?” Heechul shouts, storming down the hall like an enraged bull. Ryeowook shrinks down onto a chair, narrowly avoiding Heechul’s withering stare. As soon as the boss is out of his line of vision, Ryeowook runs like a terrified animal back to his desk.
Hankyung quickly clicks the red X on the sketch window, but his computer chooses that moment to freeze, and the picture stays on the screen. Hankyung curses under his breath at the stupid machine. Heechul’s eyes are blazing as he gets closer to Hankyung’s desk, and he heaves a sigh, knowing he’s about to get caught.
Why me, God? he thinks morosely.
“Why is it that everyone gathers around your desk like it’s a god-damned watering hole in the African wilderness?” Heechul shouts.
Hankyung knows he has only seconds, and inside his mind he is screaming for his computer monitor to finally unfreeze and accept the command to close the drawing.
“I’m sorry.” He says, mustering all the calm he possesses. This is not the first time that he and Heechul have had this kind of one-sided shouting match. Heechul loves shouting, and Hankyung combats this by staying as calm and collected as possible. It usually only makes Heechul angrier, but eventually he goes away and leaves Hankyung alone. He knows that if Heechul had the authority to fire people, he’d have been out of a job a long time ago. Thank GOD that power only rests with Park Jungsu on the 12th floor.
“I’m sorry, sir.” Hankyung answers quietly. “I was having an issue with my computer and they were just trying to help.” He says, exhaling a breath of relief as the sketch of Heechul with horns and a devil’s tail vanishes from the screen.
“That’s why we have a technical support department.” Heechul snaps. “Next time, call them and don’t ask everyone to give their opinions when they have work to do.”
“Yes sir.” Hankyung says obediently, and he watches Heechul’s face, a sense of amused triumph rolling up his spine when Heechul’s eyes seem to get darker and, if possible, angrier. Except Heechul can’t do anything, because he cannot prove Hankyung was doing anything wrong, and his words are respectful, even if the tone is slightly mocking.
In truth, Heechul fascinates Hankyung. He should be scared of him the same way everyone else is, but oddly, he’s not. In fact, he so enjoys needling his boss that he’s come close to unemployment more times than he can count.
Heechul folds his arms, a look of furious determination coming into his eyes. “So what’s the problem?”
Hankyung frowns for a moment, realizing that he told a little white lie just now. “My computer froze and I couldn’t get the program to load.” He says calmly. He picks up the phone on his desk and looks Heechul in the eye. “I’ll call the IT department right now if you’d like me to, sir. But Kyuhyun was able to fix it.”
Hankyung wonders briefly if Kyuhyun will thank him or groan at being mentioned, but it’s too late now. Heechul glances over at Kyuhyun, who is busy looking productive. He turns around, eyeing every single one of them as if trying to find anyone other than Hankyung to push around, but everyone is following Kyuhyun’s lead, and there’s no one to pick on.
Heechul’s face gets pinched and irritated, and Hankyung smirks to himself, all the while keeping his face angelically innocent.
But Heechul’s face suddenly becomes calm, and his eyes get an evil gleam in them that makes the amusement fade from Hankyung’s mind. The last time that Heechul got that look on his face, they ended up spending 12 hours taking “office supply inventory” until they were dragging themselves home at 4am, delirious and wanting to murder him.
“I think….” Heechul said loudly, and Hankyung knew that everyone in the entire room could hear him. “That now is as good a time as any to have a meeting.” There was a general exhalation of breath, and Hankyung knew everyone was groaning inwardly. “Everyone in the conference room in five minutes!” Heechul yelled, and then he was walking away back to his office.
One by one they stood, some of them glaring at Hankyung like it’s his fault, and others dragging themselves towards the conference room like they are walking to the guillotine.
“Why is it when he has a stick up his ass about something that you just make it worse?” Jongwoon says, sighing at Hankyung.
Hankyung feels bad, but whatever this meeting is about, it will most likely end up screwing him over more than any of them. He shuffles in with the rest of them, and gives Ryeowook a grateful look when the other squeezes his shoulder reassuringly.
They sit around the big, awkward table and wait for Heechul. They wait and wait, and Hankyung knows it’s because Heechul loves to make them all squirm. But he refuses to squirm or be nervous.
Finally Heechul enters the room, holding a stack of papers. He eyes Hankyung with a triumphant smirk, and Hankyung sighs.
“Where is Kibum?” Heechul asks, looking around the room. Most of them shrug, and finally Sungmin answers.
“I think he’s been transferred to another department.” He says meekly. Heechul eyerolls and nods.
“Oh yeah. Forgot.” He says, then clears his throat. “OKAY…big project from the suits on the 12th floor. I need someone to do research and data analysis all weekend. Who volunteers?”
There is a dead silence in the room, and it is so palpable that Hankyung thinks he can hear everyone’s hair growing. Of course, no one volunteers, as every single one of them has already made plans for the weekend, and no one wants to be here. It’s already 4pm on Friday, and they all want to escape as badly as he does.
Hankyung knows it’s coming, knows that Heechul planned it this way….knows that he’s about to get royally screwed out of his weekend at the beach.
Shit. Here it comes.
As if they all realize it at once, the entire room shifts their attention to him…including Heechul.
“Ah, Hankyung. Thanks for volunteering.” Heechul smiles pleasantly, and the ice and venom bubbles under the surface of his words. Hankyung allows himself a heavy sigh, and forces himself not to look at them and see the sympathy in their eyes.
“I didn’t--” he begins, but Heechul cuts him off smoothly.
“Excellent. Everyone else is dismissed.” He waves his hand dramatically, and the stampede to leave before they are also volunteered to help nearly topples over the table and chairs. They are left alone in the room, and Hankyung watches Heechul calmly.
Heechul looks back, and a silent battle of wills begins. Heechul is daring Hankyung to say anything, to refuse to do the project, or to say anything at all. Hankyung waits, knowing that his silence is slowly driving Heechul insane. Something crazy and wild slams through his chest, and he knows that a sick part of him loves this.
Come on…I dare you.
It is a thought they are both sharing, and the irony of it makes Hankyung want to laugh. But he doesn’t. He keeps his poker face and waits.
Finally Heechul exhales and pushes the stack of papers at Hankyung. “See you tomorrow morning at 8am.” He says with a smirk.
Hankyung is caught off guard, his calm, cool, collected façade slipping for a moment in surprise. “You’re going to be here too?”
Heechul glares at him. “Of course I am. The deadline is noon on Monday. You don’t think you can get all this done on your own in 48 hours, do you?”
He stares at him for a moment, and the realization that he will be alone with Heechul in this office for two whole days suddenly makes him feel like he has been sentenced to Hell with the Devil. The little sketch he had made earlier suddenly comes back to haunt him with a vengeance.
Hankyung’s stunned silence makes Heechul huff out a breath. “Don’t look so thrilled at the prospect of spending a couple days alone with me.” He says, and there is an edge of bitterness in his voice that Hankyung has never heard before. He blinks as Heechul turns and stalks back to his office, and the slamming of the door is like the sound of a jail door clanging closed.
.
To be continued!
Part 2