Imperfect Choreography
Title: Imperfect Choreography
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: HanChul
Rating: PG
Warnings: None (does excessive use of italics count? LOL)
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior. They are humans. NO ONE owns them.
Summary: Hankyung has a realization and remembers all the things that brought him to that moment.
Author's Note: OK so someone wanted fluff, and so this is it. I actually wrote something, which is pretty big for me right now, as I seem to be stuck in a quagmire of writers block. I hope you like it. :)
Hankyung pushes the elevator button, his heart thumping in his chest. He closes his eyes, inhaling slowly to try and calm his nerves. He can smell his own cologne mixed with the stale dry air of the lift. He sighs, wondering where it had all gotten so mixed up. It had begun earlier today, but in truth, it had begun years ago, when he first laid eyes on him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hello. I am Hankyung.” He had said, so slowly and carefully, trying desperately to hit all the right tones and sounds so that he would pronounce his own Korean name correctly. He had been practicing, but the unfamiliar words were hard. He had smiled and bowed properly. In his mind, he whispered to himself: I am really HanGeng, but you don’t know that.
“I can’t understand you.” Heechul had said flatly, and then he was walking away before HanGeng could blink.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Get me the remote control.” Heechul had said, his hand pointing to the table, but he had said it too fast, and HanGeng misunderstood. He stood and picked up a bottle of water and handed it to him, and Heechul had glared at him. “RE-MOTE CON-TR-OL.” Heechul had snapped, reaching out and snatching it off the table and rolling his eyes.
Hankyung had retreated to his room, his throat tight and his fingers curling into fists. He refused to cry. He would NOT cry. “Remote control.” He whispered fiercely, burning the Korean words into his brain so that he would never forget them again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why do you let them do this to you?” Heechul had said angrily, yanking the mask off his face the moment they were backstage. “You have just as much a right to be here as we do!”
Hankyung had swallowed, understanding the words, and stunned by the vehemence in them…stunned by the flash of anger in Heechul’s eyes. “Thank you.” He said quietly, watching him fume and rage. And then Heechul had hugged him, so tightly and lightning fast that Hankyung wondered if it had really happened.
“I won’t let them do it again.” Heechul had said, and then he was gone, chasing after the rest of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Say something in Chinese.” Heechul had said, his voice slurring drunkenly. They had been sprawled on the floor of their dorm. There were bottles of soju and beer, boxes of takeout, magazines, DVD cases, and clothing everywhere, creating a fantastic but familiar mess.
“Something in Chinese.” Hankyung had said in flawless Mandarin. Heechul only giggled, having no idea of the perfect joke Hankyung had made. He rolled over, slinging one arm over Hankyung’s chest and yawning hugely. Hankyung smiled as Heechul looked at him sleepily, and seconds later Hankyung knew that Heechul had passed out from the alcohol. Hankyung briefly wondered how much trouble they would be in the next day, decided it was a buzzkill, and fell asleep on the floor himself minutes later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I’m not going with you.” Heechul had said, his voice strangely hollow and empty. Hankyung had frowned in confusion and turned around to look at Leeteuk. Leeteuk looked away, and Hankyung knew it was true. He looked back at Heechul, and the excitement of going home drained out of him like a stopper had been pulled on a tubful of water.
“No! Wait that can’t be…” He had faltered, confusion and dismay making the words thick on his tongue. “I’ll go talk to manager hyung. There has to be something we can do…”
Heechul had looked at him, and there was something in his eyes that flickered and was gone as soon as it came, leaving only the bitter smile he was famous for.
“It’s fine. Go on. I AM capable of living without you.” Heechul had snorted. And then because there was nothing else left to be done, he hugged his friend briefly and left, feeling hollow despite the fact that he was going home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Pizza.” Heechul had declared, and there were several shouts of agreement in the huge van. They were riding home from the airport after Super Junior M’s huge success in China. Hankyung had laughed, knowing that their appetite for pizza was never-ending. Heechul pulled out his cell phone, dialing the number quickly and placing the order in rapid fire Korean. They sent manager hyung into the restaurant to pick up the enormous box (as getting out of the van would have caused a mob scene).
Heechul’s eyes were sparkling as they ran into the SM building, carrying the gigantic pizza box like it was a firemen’s rescue hoop. They stuffed themselves into the elevator, laughing and slapping at each other like kids. Hankyung was pressed into the corner as more of them squeezed in. As he turned to make room, he came face to face with Heechul. There was a flash of something in those brown eyes, and Hankyung stared at him for a moment, blinded like a deer in the headlights. Heechul exhaled, and the air in the lift seemed to tighten, pressing them even closer together. Hankyung inhaled, not understanding why the hairs on the back of his neck were tingling. Heechul’s eyes slid closed, and time stretched, expanding and contracting, pushing out thought and noise until it was just the two of them.
And then reality crashed back in as the lift came to a halt and the doors opened, sending Super Junior members flying into the hallway with laughter and shouts of first dibs on corner pieces.
Heechul moved away, his expression unreadable. Hankyung’s mouth fell open to say something, but no words came. Then Heechul smiled, grabbed Hankyung’s hand, and they were running down the hallway in a quest to get at the pizza before it was completely devoured.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You should color your hair again.” Heechul had said, running his fingers through Hankyung’s hair. They were on a bus traveling to a show somewhere, and Hankyung was sleepy.
“What color, red?” Hankyung snorted, grinning at his friend. Heechul made a face and yanked on a lock of hair, and Hankyung yelped in pain.
“No, idiot. You still have too much blond. I don’t like you blond. You look better with darker hair.” He said, resuming his thoughtful petting.
“You do too. I like it much better than the red or the blond. It makes your eyes prettier.” Hankyung said absently, closing his eyes and enjoying the comfortable sensation of Heechul’s fingers in his hair. Heechul stopped, pulling his fingers away quickly. Hankyung opened one eye to look at him. Heechul was staring at him, and his eyes were searching Hankyung’s face.
Frowning, he looked back. “What?” He asked, confused, wondering if he’d mispronounced a word or something.
Heechul’s eyes flickered for a moment, full of honest embarrassment, and then the mask slipped over his face again.
“Aish you’re too heavy. Get off me.” He pushed Hankyung away and looked away, but Hankyung didn’t miss the blush riding up his cheeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Take a picture with me.” Heechul had said, a devilish grin on his face. Hankyung had frowned in confusion.
“What?”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t understand me.” Heechul said, clicking a few buttons on his phone and grabbing Hankyung’s shoulders, spinning him around. “Now put your arms around me…like this.” Heechul said, putting his arm around Hankyung.
Bewildered, Hankyung obeyed. Heechul lifted his arm, twisting the phone so the camera lens faced them. The bathroom was warm from the water in the shower he had just turned on, and Heechul’s face was flushed, his eyes bright.
“Say ‘forever’, Hannie.”
“Forever.” Hankyung said obediently. Heechul snapped the picture and turned to look at him, his eyes dancing in the dim light. He was so close that Hankyung could see every individual eyelash.
Such long eyelashes for a man…how does he do that…?
Heechul leaned forward slightly, those long lashes lowering as he closed his eyes. His lips parted slightly, and Hankyung stared at him, surprised. Seconds ticked by like bombs, and then Heechul’s eyes flew open. For a moment they stared at each other, and then Heechul pulled away, his adams apple moving as he swallowed. And then he was turning away and walking quickly out the door before Hankyung could say a word.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Butterflies were creating havoc in his stomach. Fretting with his tie for the millionth time, he pulled too hard and messed it up. He swore loudly and yanked on it again.
“Come here.” He heard Heechul say softly, and he turned around, desperate for help and a way to calm himself down. He walked over to his best friend, frustrated and nervous.
“I keep messing it up.” He complained. Heechul reached up, his long slender fingers grasping the blue silk tie and adjusting it carefully. He did not look at Hankyung’s face, but stepped back when he was done.
“There.” he said quietly. “It’s perfect.”
“Thank you.” Hankyung exhaled, pulling him into a quick but grateful hug. He let go and stepped back, viewing himself in the mirror. He looked good, and although the butterflies were still zigzagging through his stomach, he felt better. He reached down and picked up his cell phone, pocketing it.
“Wish me luck?” He smiled, hoping it hid the nervousness. Heechul stood on the other side of the room, his hand near his mouth. His expression was unreadable, and Hankyung wondered if he looked like an idiot in this suit. He wondered for the millionth time if he could pull this date with Victoria off, or if she’d see him as just a weirdo Chinaman. What had he been thinking when he asked her out? And what had she been thinking to say yes?
“She doesn’t know how lucky she is.” Heechul said, his voice sounding strange. Hankyung frowned, stepping forward to ask what was wrong, but then Yesung was yelling, saying the limo was there and he was already late. “Go on before it leaves without you.” Heechul said, and then he was walking back to his room and closing the door.
So Hankyung went.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The restaurant is beautiful but pricey. They had been warned ahead of time that two celebrities would be dining there, and Hankyung and Victoria were given a nice private corner for their romantic dinner.
Hankyung smiles at her, noticing the way her dark hair frames her face. She is pretty, and yet she is so delicate, she looks almost breakable. Her fingers wrap around her champagne glass, and she smiles back. Her fingers look almost the same as Heechul’s - long, slender, and perfectly manicured.
“I was surprised when you asked me to dinner.” She says.
“Oh? Why is that?” he asks, setting down his own glass after taking a sip.
She only shrugs a little, and smiles vaguely. Hankyung doesn’t know how to answer that, so he decides to ask her about herself. In no time she is smiling and chatting away, and Hankyung gets lost somewhere in a discussion on a drama she is watching and how Taecyeon had said or done something annoying.
Dinner is delicious and costs him nearly every penny he had saved for it. He begins to wonder why he had thought he could do this, and why he longs to be home instead, making paper airplanes out of ripped magazines and drinking beer with Heechul. Or playing a silly video game with Heechul. Or lying on the floor with Heechul, staring at the ceiling and talking about everything and nothing.
And why Heechul had looked so sad when he had turned around and walked into his room.
“Hankyung-si?” Victoria asks, her feminine voice cutting through his wandering thoughts. Hankyung flushes in embarrassment and tries to pluck her most recent words out of thin air, but there is nothing there.
Nothing at all.
And then it hits him, like Heechul’s hand playfully slapping him upside the head. Like a bolt of clarity shot straight through to his brain, illuminating everything he had missed for so long.
It’s Heechul. He’s been right there in front of you and you never saw it.
“Victoria, I’m sorry.” He says suddenly, trying to sound as polite and respectful as possible. “I don’t think this is going so well. It sounds like you miss Taecyeon even though you say he was mistreating you. Maybe you should go talk to him.”
Victoria stares at him in stunned silence, and then her lip begins to tremble. Her eyes shimmer in the candlelight and she looks away. “I thought going out with you would make him jealous.” She whispers. Hankyung feels genuine sadness for her.
“Don’t wait.” He says, squeezing her hand. “Call him now.”
He stands, his decision made. She looks up at him in astonishment. “Where are you going?”
“I have to go home. I need to talk to someone.”
She looks up at him for a moment, and Hankyung thinks he sees a flash of something unspoken in her eyes. Then she nods and pulls out her cell phone. “Good luck, Hankyung. And thank you.” She says with a kind smile.
Hankyung smiles back at her and bows, and then turns around and walks quickly to the door. He pulls out his own phone and presses the number at the top of the list. He hails a cab and listens to it ring and ring, and then finally click over to voice mail.
“If you have this number then you know who this is and I don’t need to say my own name. But I will because I can! SUPER JUNIOR KIM HEEEEECHUUUL!” Okay. You can leave a message now.” BEEEEP
“Heechul it’s Geng….I’m on my way back. I want to talk to you. Call me, please.” He says, and then hangs up. Something in his chest is moving, fluttering nervously as he wonders if he is doing the right thing. Fear of the unknown, fear of the stigma that comes with what he is doing nearly overwhelms him, but he knows it is right.
Somehow, he’s known all along.
He gets out of the cab and hands his fare over, and yanks open the front doors. He pushes the elevator button and steps inside, inhaling deeply. His heart is slamming out of his chest as he waits for the elevator to arrive back at the 12th floor.
When the elevator stops, he waits impatiently until the doors are finally open before jogging down the hallway to the dorm door. But Heechul is not in the dorm. He’s not in his room, nor the bathroom. Hankyung calls his phone again and hears it ringing from inside Heechul’s empty room.
Cursing, he stomps back out into the living room. Donghae is standing there, looking surprised at seeing him.
“Hankyung-hyung, why are you back? I thought you went out with--”
“Donghae have you seen Heechul?” Hankyung interrupts. Donghae’s face contorts slightly, and Hankyung’s heart seems to slam out of his chest. Donghae can’t lie, and whenever he tries it always is a huge fail. “Just tell me the truth.” Hankyung pleads, wanting to save time.
Donghae exhales heavily. “He’s up on the roof.”
Hankyung thanks the younger man and runs out, heading for the elevator again. He thinks he knows exactly where Heechul is. They go up to the roof when they need to get out of the dorm and have some peace and quiet. That Heechul did not bring his phone meant he really wanted to be left alone. Hankyung knows that he’s the reason for that.
He steps out of the elevator at the top floor and ascends the short set of stairs that takes him to the roof. He opens the door and steps out into the warm summer air. It’s a little windy, but not cold. He looks around and finally spots Heechul. He’s standing with his back to Hankyung, looking out over the city. Heechul’s hair is blowing slightly in the wind, and he looks beautiful and sad standing there alone.
Hankyung walks forward, his shoes crunching on the stones that litter the rooftop.
“I told you to leave me alone, Hae.” Heechul sighs heavily.
“Chul-ah…It’s me.” Hankyung says quietly. As expected, Heechul spins around, his mouth falling open in shock at seeing Hankyung there.
“What…” he begins, but Hankyung walks forward and the words die inside Heechul’s throat. His eyes are wide as Hankyung gets closer.
“I’m sorry.” Hankyung says, the words sounding slightly pathetic. “I didn’t know.”
Heechul looks away, and Hankyung can see past the mask Heechul is desperately trying to keep in place. He’s always been able to see through every mask but this one. Until tonight.
“Yeah well you’re stupid. I always knew you were stupid.” Heechul says thickly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hankyung asks.
“I was hoping you might figure it out on your own. But then you were going out with Victoria so…”
“I’m not. I mean…” Hankyung says, the Korean words coming out slightly mixed. “I was…I left….she…I think…she still loves Taecyeon.”
“Oh.” Heechul says, and then he frowns. “You left her at the restaurant?”
Hankyung feels his cheeks redden, but he pushes away the temporary embarrassment. “Heechul, do you have…” Hankyung fumbles with the right words. “Do you…”
“Do I love you?” Heechul says, a sad sort of smile forming on his lips. “Yes. It took you long enough to figure that out.”
“You DID say I was stupid.” Hankyung smiles too, and then he wraps his arms around his best friend and pulls him in before Heechul can change his mind or put on another mask to hide himself away.
“You are stupid.” Heechul whispers.
“Not anymore.” Hankyung says, and then he kisses him, because he wants to, and because he should have done it years ago and not wasted so much time.
Heechul kisses him back, and finally, Hankyung feels like he’s really home.
The End
Speshul Internet Flavored Cookies to the first person to correctly tell me which movie I am stealing quotes from! :D
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Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: HanChul
Rating: PG
Warnings: None (does excessive use of italics count? LOL)
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior. They are humans. NO ONE owns them.
Summary: Hankyung has a realization and remembers all the things that brought him to that moment.
Author's Note: OK so someone wanted fluff, and so this is it. I actually wrote something, which is pretty big for me right now, as I seem to be stuck in a quagmire of writers block. I hope you like it. :)
Hankyung pushes the elevator button, his heart thumping in his chest. He closes his eyes, inhaling slowly to try and calm his nerves. He can smell his own cologne mixed with the stale dry air of the lift. He sighs, wondering where it had all gotten so mixed up. It had begun earlier today, but in truth, it had begun years ago, when he first laid eyes on him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hello. I am Hankyung.” He had said, so slowly and carefully, trying desperately to hit all the right tones and sounds so that he would pronounce his own Korean name correctly. He had been practicing, but the unfamiliar words were hard. He had smiled and bowed properly. In his mind, he whispered to himself: I am really HanGeng, but you don’t know that.
“I can’t understand you.” Heechul had said flatly, and then he was walking away before HanGeng could blink.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Get me the remote control.” Heechul had said, his hand pointing to the table, but he had said it too fast, and HanGeng misunderstood. He stood and picked up a bottle of water and handed it to him, and Heechul had glared at him. “RE-MOTE CON-TR-OL.” Heechul had snapped, reaching out and snatching it off the table and rolling his eyes.
Hankyung had retreated to his room, his throat tight and his fingers curling into fists. He refused to cry. He would NOT cry. “Remote control.” He whispered fiercely, burning the Korean words into his brain so that he would never forget them again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why do you let them do this to you?” Heechul had said angrily, yanking the mask off his face the moment they were backstage. “You have just as much a right to be here as we do!”
Hankyung had swallowed, understanding the words, and stunned by the vehemence in them…stunned by the flash of anger in Heechul’s eyes. “Thank you.” He said quietly, watching him fume and rage. And then Heechul had hugged him, so tightly and lightning fast that Hankyung wondered if it had really happened.
“I won’t let them do it again.” Heechul had said, and then he was gone, chasing after the rest of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Say something in Chinese.” Heechul had said, his voice slurring drunkenly. They had been sprawled on the floor of their dorm. There were bottles of soju and beer, boxes of takeout, magazines, DVD cases, and clothing everywhere, creating a fantastic but familiar mess.
“Something in Chinese.” Hankyung had said in flawless Mandarin. Heechul only giggled, having no idea of the perfect joke Hankyung had made. He rolled over, slinging one arm over Hankyung’s chest and yawning hugely. Hankyung smiled as Heechul looked at him sleepily, and seconds later Hankyung knew that Heechul had passed out from the alcohol. Hankyung briefly wondered how much trouble they would be in the next day, decided it was a buzzkill, and fell asleep on the floor himself minutes later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I’m not going with you.” Heechul had said, his voice strangely hollow and empty. Hankyung had frowned in confusion and turned around to look at Leeteuk. Leeteuk looked away, and Hankyung knew it was true. He looked back at Heechul, and the excitement of going home drained out of him like a stopper had been pulled on a tubful of water.
“No! Wait that can’t be…” He had faltered, confusion and dismay making the words thick on his tongue. “I’ll go talk to manager hyung. There has to be something we can do…”
Heechul had looked at him, and there was something in his eyes that flickered and was gone as soon as it came, leaving only the bitter smile he was famous for.
“It’s fine. Go on. I AM capable of living without you.” Heechul had snorted. And then because there was nothing else left to be done, he hugged his friend briefly and left, feeling hollow despite the fact that he was going home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Pizza.” Heechul had declared, and there were several shouts of agreement in the huge van. They were riding home from the airport after Super Junior M’s huge success in China. Hankyung had laughed, knowing that their appetite for pizza was never-ending. Heechul pulled out his cell phone, dialing the number quickly and placing the order in rapid fire Korean. They sent manager hyung into the restaurant to pick up the enormous box (as getting out of the van would have caused a mob scene).
Heechul’s eyes were sparkling as they ran into the SM building, carrying the gigantic pizza box like it was a firemen’s rescue hoop. They stuffed themselves into the elevator, laughing and slapping at each other like kids. Hankyung was pressed into the corner as more of them squeezed in. As he turned to make room, he came face to face with Heechul. There was a flash of something in those brown eyes, and Hankyung stared at him for a moment, blinded like a deer in the headlights. Heechul exhaled, and the air in the lift seemed to tighten, pressing them even closer together. Hankyung inhaled, not understanding why the hairs on the back of his neck were tingling. Heechul’s eyes slid closed, and time stretched, expanding and contracting, pushing out thought and noise until it was just the two of them.
And then reality crashed back in as the lift came to a halt and the doors opened, sending Super Junior members flying into the hallway with laughter and shouts of first dibs on corner pieces.
Heechul moved away, his expression unreadable. Hankyung’s mouth fell open to say something, but no words came. Then Heechul smiled, grabbed Hankyung’s hand, and they were running down the hallway in a quest to get at the pizza before it was completely devoured.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You should color your hair again.” Heechul had said, running his fingers through Hankyung’s hair. They were on a bus traveling to a show somewhere, and Hankyung was sleepy.
“What color, red?” Hankyung snorted, grinning at his friend. Heechul made a face and yanked on a lock of hair, and Hankyung yelped in pain.
“No, idiot. You still have too much blond. I don’t like you blond. You look better with darker hair.” He said, resuming his thoughtful petting.
“You do too. I like it much better than the red or the blond. It makes your eyes prettier.” Hankyung said absently, closing his eyes and enjoying the comfortable sensation of Heechul’s fingers in his hair. Heechul stopped, pulling his fingers away quickly. Hankyung opened one eye to look at him. Heechul was staring at him, and his eyes were searching Hankyung’s face.
Frowning, he looked back. “What?” He asked, confused, wondering if he’d mispronounced a word or something.
Heechul’s eyes flickered for a moment, full of honest embarrassment, and then the mask slipped over his face again.
“Aish you’re too heavy. Get off me.” He pushed Hankyung away and looked away, but Hankyung didn’t miss the blush riding up his cheeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Take a picture with me.” Heechul had said, a devilish grin on his face. Hankyung had frowned in confusion.
“What?”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t understand me.” Heechul said, clicking a few buttons on his phone and grabbing Hankyung’s shoulders, spinning him around. “Now put your arms around me…like this.” Heechul said, putting his arm around Hankyung.
Bewildered, Hankyung obeyed. Heechul lifted his arm, twisting the phone so the camera lens faced them. The bathroom was warm from the water in the shower he had just turned on, and Heechul’s face was flushed, his eyes bright.
“Say ‘forever’, Hannie.”
“Forever.” Hankyung said obediently. Heechul snapped the picture and turned to look at him, his eyes dancing in the dim light. He was so close that Hankyung could see every individual eyelash.
Such long eyelashes for a man…how does he do that…?
Heechul leaned forward slightly, those long lashes lowering as he closed his eyes. His lips parted slightly, and Hankyung stared at him, surprised. Seconds ticked by like bombs, and then Heechul’s eyes flew open. For a moment they stared at each other, and then Heechul pulled away, his adams apple moving as he swallowed. And then he was turning away and walking quickly out the door before Hankyung could say a word.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Butterflies were creating havoc in his stomach. Fretting with his tie for the millionth time, he pulled too hard and messed it up. He swore loudly and yanked on it again.
“Come here.” He heard Heechul say softly, and he turned around, desperate for help and a way to calm himself down. He walked over to his best friend, frustrated and nervous.
“I keep messing it up.” He complained. Heechul reached up, his long slender fingers grasping the blue silk tie and adjusting it carefully. He did not look at Hankyung’s face, but stepped back when he was done.
“There.” he said quietly. “It’s perfect.”
“Thank you.” Hankyung exhaled, pulling him into a quick but grateful hug. He let go and stepped back, viewing himself in the mirror. He looked good, and although the butterflies were still zigzagging through his stomach, he felt better. He reached down and picked up his cell phone, pocketing it.
“Wish me luck?” He smiled, hoping it hid the nervousness. Heechul stood on the other side of the room, his hand near his mouth. His expression was unreadable, and Hankyung wondered if he looked like an idiot in this suit. He wondered for the millionth time if he could pull this date with Victoria off, or if she’d see him as just a weirdo Chinaman. What had he been thinking when he asked her out? And what had she been thinking to say yes?
“She doesn’t know how lucky she is.” Heechul said, his voice sounding strange. Hankyung frowned, stepping forward to ask what was wrong, but then Yesung was yelling, saying the limo was there and he was already late. “Go on before it leaves without you.” Heechul said, and then he was walking back to his room and closing the door.
So Hankyung went.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The restaurant is beautiful but pricey. They had been warned ahead of time that two celebrities would be dining there, and Hankyung and Victoria were given a nice private corner for their romantic dinner.
Hankyung smiles at her, noticing the way her dark hair frames her face. She is pretty, and yet she is so delicate, she looks almost breakable. Her fingers wrap around her champagne glass, and she smiles back. Her fingers look almost the same as Heechul’s - long, slender, and perfectly manicured.
“I was surprised when you asked me to dinner.” She says.
“Oh? Why is that?” he asks, setting down his own glass after taking a sip.
She only shrugs a little, and smiles vaguely. Hankyung doesn’t know how to answer that, so he decides to ask her about herself. In no time she is smiling and chatting away, and Hankyung gets lost somewhere in a discussion on a drama she is watching and how Taecyeon had said or done something annoying.
Dinner is delicious and costs him nearly every penny he had saved for it. He begins to wonder why he had thought he could do this, and why he longs to be home instead, making paper airplanes out of ripped magazines and drinking beer with Heechul. Or playing a silly video game with Heechul. Or lying on the floor with Heechul, staring at the ceiling and talking about everything and nothing.
And why Heechul had looked so sad when he had turned around and walked into his room.
“Hankyung-si?” Victoria asks, her feminine voice cutting through his wandering thoughts. Hankyung flushes in embarrassment and tries to pluck her most recent words out of thin air, but there is nothing there.
Nothing at all.
And then it hits him, like Heechul’s hand playfully slapping him upside the head. Like a bolt of clarity shot straight through to his brain, illuminating everything he had missed for so long.
It’s Heechul. He’s been right there in front of you and you never saw it.
“Victoria, I’m sorry.” He says suddenly, trying to sound as polite and respectful as possible. “I don’t think this is going so well. It sounds like you miss Taecyeon even though you say he was mistreating you. Maybe you should go talk to him.”
Victoria stares at him in stunned silence, and then her lip begins to tremble. Her eyes shimmer in the candlelight and she looks away. “I thought going out with you would make him jealous.” She whispers. Hankyung feels genuine sadness for her.
“Don’t wait.” He says, squeezing her hand. “Call him now.”
He stands, his decision made. She looks up at him in astonishment. “Where are you going?”
“I have to go home. I need to talk to someone.”
She looks up at him for a moment, and Hankyung thinks he sees a flash of something unspoken in her eyes. Then she nods and pulls out her cell phone. “Good luck, Hankyung. And thank you.” She says with a kind smile.
Hankyung smiles back at her and bows, and then turns around and walks quickly to the door. He pulls out his own phone and presses the number at the top of the list. He hails a cab and listens to it ring and ring, and then finally click over to voice mail.
“If you have this number then you know who this is and I don’t need to say my own name. But I will because I can! SUPER JUNIOR KIM HEEEEECHUUUL!” Okay. You can leave a message now.” BEEEEP
“Heechul it’s Geng….I’m on my way back. I want to talk to you. Call me, please.” He says, and then hangs up. Something in his chest is moving, fluttering nervously as he wonders if he is doing the right thing. Fear of the unknown, fear of the stigma that comes with what he is doing nearly overwhelms him, but he knows it is right.
Somehow, he’s known all along.
He gets out of the cab and hands his fare over, and yanks open the front doors. He pushes the elevator button and steps inside, inhaling deeply. His heart is slamming out of his chest as he waits for the elevator to arrive back at the 12th floor.
When the elevator stops, he waits impatiently until the doors are finally open before jogging down the hallway to the dorm door. But Heechul is not in the dorm. He’s not in his room, nor the bathroom. Hankyung calls his phone again and hears it ringing from inside Heechul’s empty room.
Cursing, he stomps back out into the living room. Donghae is standing there, looking surprised at seeing him.
“Hankyung-hyung, why are you back? I thought you went out with--”
“Donghae have you seen Heechul?” Hankyung interrupts. Donghae’s face contorts slightly, and Hankyung’s heart seems to slam out of his chest. Donghae can’t lie, and whenever he tries it always is a huge fail. “Just tell me the truth.” Hankyung pleads, wanting to save time.
Donghae exhales heavily. “He’s up on the roof.”
Hankyung thanks the younger man and runs out, heading for the elevator again. He thinks he knows exactly where Heechul is. They go up to the roof when they need to get out of the dorm and have some peace and quiet. That Heechul did not bring his phone meant he really wanted to be left alone. Hankyung knows that he’s the reason for that.
He steps out of the elevator at the top floor and ascends the short set of stairs that takes him to the roof. He opens the door and steps out into the warm summer air. It’s a little windy, but not cold. He looks around and finally spots Heechul. He’s standing with his back to Hankyung, looking out over the city. Heechul’s hair is blowing slightly in the wind, and he looks beautiful and sad standing there alone.
Hankyung walks forward, his shoes crunching on the stones that litter the rooftop.
“I told you to leave me alone, Hae.” Heechul sighs heavily.
“Chul-ah…It’s me.” Hankyung says quietly. As expected, Heechul spins around, his mouth falling open in shock at seeing Hankyung there.
“What…” he begins, but Hankyung walks forward and the words die inside Heechul’s throat. His eyes are wide as Hankyung gets closer.
“I’m sorry.” Hankyung says, the words sounding slightly pathetic. “I didn’t know.”
Heechul looks away, and Hankyung can see past the mask Heechul is desperately trying to keep in place. He’s always been able to see through every mask but this one. Until tonight.
“Yeah well you’re stupid. I always knew you were stupid.” Heechul says thickly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hankyung asks.
“I was hoping you might figure it out on your own. But then you were going out with Victoria so…”
“I’m not. I mean…” Hankyung says, the Korean words coming out slightly mixed. “I was…I left….she…I think…she still loves Taecyeon.”
“Oh.” Heechul says, and then he frowns. “You left her at the restaurant?”
Hankyung feels his cheeks redden, but he pushes away the temporary embarrassment. “Heechul, do you have…” Hankyung fumbles with the right words. “Do you…”
“Do I love you?” Heechul says, a sad sort of smile forming on his lips. “Yes. It took you long enough to figure that out.”
“You DID say I was stupid.” Hankyung smiles too, and then he wraps his arms around his best friend and pulls him in before Heechul can change his mind or put on another mask to hide himself away.
“You are stupid.” Heechul whispers.
“Not anymore.” Hankyung says, and then he kisses him, because he wants to, and because he should have done it years ago and not wasted so much time.
Heechul kisses him back, and finally, Hankyung feels like he’s really home.
The End
Speshul Internet Flavored Cookies to the first person to correctly tell me which movie I am stealing quotes from! :D
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